- Paddington using two electric toothbrushes to scrub the insides of his ears.
- Paddington telling Mr. Brown that he looks good for a man his age. Mr. Brown is flattered. ...Until he processes the words "A man your age" and asks the young bear how old he thinks he is. Paddington guesses Mr. Brown is 80 years old.
- Paddington going to Mr. Gruber's shop to find Aunt Lucy's gift. Mr. Gruber suggests a toy monkey, while Paddington, wearing a fruit hat and Groucho Marx glasses (with the nose), tells Mr. Gruber to be serious.
- Paddington's first job, at a barber shop. The whole scene.
- His trying to use an electric clipper.
- He accidentally shaves off a big chunk of the patron's hair.
- Comes back to bite him as a Brick Joke when the patron turns out to be the Judge at Paddington's trial.
- Following the Barbershop scene, Paddington casually asks Mr. Brown if he's ever been fired before.
- While doing the prison laundry, Paddington accidentally mixes a red sock with some white laundry. Although worried at first, Paddington then shrugs it off and wonders how bad it could be. It turns out, that laundry was for all the prison mates' outfits... And he turned them pink.
- Paddington trying prison food for the first time.Phibs: It's not as bad as it looks.(Paddington tries the food and promptly spits it out)Phibs: It's worse.
- When Paddington makes up his mind to talk to Knuckles about changing the menu, the guard radios for a medic. Later, when Paddington tries Knuckle's patience, the guard changes his mind and radios for a priest.
- Naturally, Paddington only ended up trying Knuckles' patience by accident. When Knuckles sarcastically remarks that he "loves it when people complain", Paddington took his claim seriously and stated how bad the menu was, which included hitting him across the head with a baguette and squirting ketchup on his clothes (albeit the latter was an accident). These actions in turn prompt gasps from the other inmates (with one silently making the Sign of the Cross) whilst Paddington tries to remove the ketchup stain, first by rubbing it off to no affect and then squirting mustard on it, only to find it didn't remove ketchup stains as he initially thought. He then turns to ask the inmates if they know how to remove the stain...only to find they are all hiding under the tables.
- Paddington trying to make marmalade (with no help from Knuckles).
- When all the sacks of oranges land on Paddington, he remarks that they're very heavy. Knuckles gruffly advises "Then move them one at a time". He returns to reading his newspaper while waiting for Paddington to make marmalade. Then, he hears Paddington move the oranges "one [orange] at a time". The way he slowly looks up from his newspaper is what really sells it.
- When Knuckles insults Paddington's Aunt Lucy, Paddington gives him a Death Glare. For a cynical man, Knuckles is outright intimidated by it.
- The guard at the church being attracted to Phoenix in his nun disguise.Guard: Stop that stunning sister!
- When the Browns visit Paddington in prison and they meet his inmate buddies, Henry turns off the light in their booth, thinking the inmates won't hear the mean things he's saying about them...until Knuckles tells Henry that he only turned off the light, and the mic switch is on the opposite side, with "microphone" written above it.
- Jonathan and Judy tricking Phoenix into leaving his place by using recorded audio from when they met his agent. The capper is Jonathan accidentally playing her saying "Nice buns", and Phoenix hearing it... and being flattered.
- While 'investigating' Phoenix's home, Mr. Brown wonders why a millionaire actor would want to steal a pop-up book. Mrs. Brown proves him wrong about the "millionaire" part when she hands him a stack of Phoenix's letters, which turn out to be his bills. Mr. Brown is blown away by how much debt the man is in.
Mr.Brown: (Whilst in the process of climbing into the attic) There's nothing strange about- (The instant he sees the mannequins) Oh my god, this man's a weirdo.
- Later, he has the same reaction when they visit his attic and see his collection of mannequins.
- "I'm just a trashbin."
- A passing guard wonders if the bin just spoke. It assures him it did not, so he shrugs and wanders off.
- Richard Ayoade's scene, especially for those who remember the last time he was in a court room.
- Phoenix's turn in a dog food commercial. A classically trained Shakespearean ham giving a highly emotive speech... In a dog onesie and facepaint.
- What's more, the commercial mentions that the dog food is not for people to eat. Poor Phoenix.
- In the credits Mrs Brown is revealed to have swam the Channel between England and France, which is impressive... Only she forgot her passport and then had to swim all the way back.
- This little pun in the ending, where Phoenix is able to put on a show in prison, then thanks the prison mates for helping him put on the show. What's the punchline? "All I needed was a captive audience!"
Funny / Paddington 2