Campaigns
A Grand Tour of The Sword Coast:
- As usual, Candlekeep has strict rules on those who wish to enter, demanding a book that isn't in their library. Even when the walled city is currently under attack by undead.
- Reya having Team Mom energy, between trying to reign in both Blooshi (who's trying to impress Vecna), and Hitch (who is pickpocketing things from their employer).
- At one point, the Champions have to collect exactly 15 books for someone in Candlekeep. They question why why exactly that number.
- Blooshi being enamored by Vecna's necromancy powers:
Blooshi: "HE JUST SUMMONED A TYRANNOSAURUS ZOMBIE. Pondscum, my powers feel so crummy next to that."Reya: "YOU SHOULDN'T WANT TO SUMMON DINOSAUR ZOMBIES!"- The Champions comment on how Reya and later the residents of Mount Celestia had all shouted at the top of their lungs, wondering if it's a
Lawful Good thing. They then remembered that Bel had also shouted, which they then conclude is just a Lawful thing.
- Barovia:
- Jarlaxle being a Deadpan Snarker the entire time the Champions are trying to stop Strahd's wedding to Ireena.
Celeste: "I wonder. Did you hear what the chamberlain said? 'When Strahd is ready to meet with you...' So what is the vampire doing in the meantime?"Jarlaxle: "Well, it's a big day. He'll want to look good. Get his nails and fangs done, that sort of thing."- Later in the campaign:
Jarlaxle: "I never thought those stairs would end. Every day is leg day in Castle Ravenloft, apparently."- All of the guests at the wedding are wearing ribbons with flasks of blood on them. Deekin proceeds to try to eat one.
- Descent Into Avernus:
- The hag butchering "quid pro quo" into "squid procul".
- Split The Party:Jarlaxle: "Like I told you all. Foreboding."Minsc: "You are well right, friend Jarlaxle. Four bodings, far too many. One or two is fine most days, though."
- More classic Nayeli and Jarlaxle bickering:
Jarlaxle: "I can't shake this feeling that something's out there. Something malevolent."Nayeli: "Jarlaxle, there are children out there."Jarlaxle: "No, something even more malevolent than that." - Light Of Xaryxis:
- When Squiddly asks to comes with the Champions, we have this gem.
Minsc: "If the Xanathar Guild is looking for revenge, Squiddly is safer with us than traveling back to Castle Waterdeep. He should come with us."Celeste: "ONLY if you all stop being such bad examples for him. Squiddly is very impressionable and you need to think about that when you start telling him things."Nordrom: "Query: Will someone be demonstrating this 'shanking' procedure? And will an arrow suffice? I am not equipped with further weapons."Celeste: "...Squiddly AND Nodrom."
Events
A Fool's Errand:
- Nayeli & Jarlaxle actually agreeing on something:
Nayeli: "If you ask me, Faerûn's calendar has a few too many festivals masquerading as excuses for drunkenness. We could do with losing a few."Jarlaxle: "I'd actually like to see the dedication of a new holiday. A yearlong celebration, in fact. 'The Festival of Leaving The Monsters Alone Because They'll Kill You and the Heroes Are Tired of Saving Your Sorry Asses."Nayeli: "...Even I might drink to that."
- Fleetswake:
- Bruenor gets into a fight with a drunk wizard, and afterwards:
Jarlaxle: "We can't take you to taverns, can we?"Bruenor: "She started it!"- Nayeli has a case of Got Me Doing It after she responds with "Aye" then corrects herself to "Yes". She comments she's been spending too much time near Bruenor.
- Jarlaxle and Bruenor argue over who saw a secret door firstnote .
Jarlaxle: "Secret door here."Bruenor: "I saw it first!"Jarlaxle: "In a dragon's eye you did!"Celeste: "Gentlemen, you're both good at finding secret doors. Let's move on shall we?"- A bunch of geese (apparently ones from the Abyss) randomly appear. Along with a few other champions.
- Bruenor picked up some gibbering mouther teeth, thinking that Celeste would want some to study. Celeste (for once) refuses.
- Celeste calls Umberlee "The Bitch Queen" (one of her actual titles). Jaraxle has a field day with it.
Jarlaxle: "Do my ears deceive me or did Celeste just swear? What have I done to deserve such a blessing? Is it my birthday? I'm so happy."Bruenor: "Yer never going to let Celeste live this down, are ye?"- Later Nayeli agrees with a plan the drow comes up with, delighting him even more.
Item Descriptions
- Astarion:Broken Silver Mirror: "Someday I'll see my face again. You're lucky enough to see it every day."Noble's Sword: "Yes, this is mine. No, you don't need to know where I got it."Ring of Protection: "I picked up this little treasure with the coin I made from OnlyFangs." note
- BBEG:
- Many of his item descriptions are hilariously relatable to those who have played the pen and paper version of D&D, especially those DM's who put as much extra effort as humanly possible into their presentation.
Updated Screen: "This is full of sticky notes now."Hand Made Kit: "I actually made this all by myself. Yes, that is tape painted to look like wood."Book From E'Tsyy: "Look, I didn't know how to bind a book and this one was the coolest online."DM's Die: "DO NOT TOUCH THIS D20! YOU'LL JUST CURSE IT!" - Gale:
- Several items mention his Familiar, Tara the Tressym (winged cat), and her fickle behavior.
Fond Memories/Ball of Retrieval: [The items are a pair of cat toys.] "Even at my lowest, playing with Tara lifted my spirits...though the ball's purpose eluded her. I was always the one fetching it..."- The fact that Gale has a "Cat Flap of Displacement" spell so Tara can be summoned or dismissed as she pleases.
- Gale appreciating the mundane things in life:
Wizarding Robes: "Not as flashy as Elminster's, but at least they've plenty of pockets."Crystal Ball: "Handy for glimpsing the future. And also shaving."- The descriptions for "Boots of Ambiguous Enchantment" and "Lonely Boot of Elvenkind" describe them as a "pick-me-up" and "snack-sized," respectively. note
