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  • Ryan Reynolds as Hannibal King.
    • Particularly any of his scenes with Parker Posey. "Her fangs are in her vagina!"
    • Parker stole the Crowning Moment right out from under Reynolds with "And how about everyone not saying the word "dick" anymore? It provokes my envy."
    • "What did the one Lesbian Vampire say to the other? See you in 28 days."
    • Don't forget King's time with Blade, Triple H, and H's vampire dog.
    Blade: How do you finance this operation?
    King: I date a lot of older men.

    King: (sees H's dog, which is a vampire Pomeranian) Oh, fuck me. (two big scary dogs join it) Oh, fuck me sideways. Nice doggies. (the dogs reveal reaper mouths and chase him)

    HHH: Hey dickface, have you seen my dog?
    King: (who just made the dog and the two others fall out a window after they tried to eat him) Have you tried the lobby?

    King: So Blade, if this works, and all the vampires go bye-bye, what's left for you? I don't really see you teaching karate at the local gym. (Blade looks annoyed and walks away) He hates me, doesn't he?
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  • When Blade is interrogating the police commissioner on the vampires' plans:
    Commissioner: I can't tell you, they'll kill me.
    Blade: Kill you? Motherfucker, I'll kill you! I'll just enjoy it better.
  • This banter between Drake and Blade:
    Drake: Blade, ready to die?
    Blade: I was born ready, motherfucker.
    Drake: "Motherfucker". I like that.
  • This one scene where Blade, Hannibal and Abigail are dangling a familiar off of a multi-story car park, when someone's cellphone goes off. Blade looks around to his teammates, then down at the guy he's dangling.
    Blade: Oh, it's you!
    • And then Blade takes the call for him, in the process getting the info he was after, and passes the phone back.
    Blade: It's for you.
    Familiar: Hello? (screams as Blade promptly drops him to his death)
  • When being interrogated:
    Dr. Edgar Vance: How about the president? You know who that is. Who's in the White House right now?
    Blade: An asshole.
    (This handily avoids dating the movie, since regardless of who's in office, someone will believe them to be an asshole).
  • Blade coochie-cooing at a baby… and the baby immediately crying.
  • Meta example: for the sequence when Abby shoots Drake with her bow, Jessica Biel was coached to aim directly into the camera's lens, which was protected with plexiglass. But her aim was so true that her arrow went straight through the plexiglass and destroyed the camera (valued at around $300,000) - in the outtakes, she sees what she has done, and bursts out laughing.
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