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Funny / Becker

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  • There's an episode where Becker is invited to a medical conference and is given an invitation for two. Since it's to some tropical locale, all his friends try to convince him that they should be the person he takes:
    Bob: Bob would like to go away.
    Becker: Good. Go away.
  • In "Let's Talk About Sex", after Becker's elementary school talk about nutrition has turned into a talk about sex (the kids brought it up), Margaret is getting angry calls from the students' parents.
    Margaret: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. (hangs up as Becker enters) What did you do?
    Becker: (in the same tone as Margaret) I don't know.
    • A highlight of said talk:
      Kenny: My sister says you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex.
      Becker: Yeah, well, your sister's an idiot.
      Kenny: That's what my dad says.
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    • Also, Becker trying a couple of times to derail the sex talk back to nutrition, only to give up, to the point of shutting up a kid who did ask about vitamins.
  • Linda accidentally booking Becker into a very awkward cruise.
    Linda: (to a friend on the phone) It's a WHAT cruise?!... Oh god, please tell me you mean happy!
    • After Becker returns, he does his best to avoid the subject at the diner, even lying and claiming to have started a relationship on holiday. However, Linda comes in and apologies for sending him on a gay cruise, sending Reggie, Jake and Bob into hysterics.
  • In the episode "Man Plans, God Laughes" (Season 1, Episode 6), Becker dealing with one of his female patients, who is heavily pregnant gives a good little remark:
    Becker: Okay, Mrs. Capelos, you're gonna be just fine. In a couple of weeks, you're gonna be flat on your back with your legs in the air, screaming like a banshee. [after she leaves, under his breath] Pretty much what put you in that condition in the first place!
  • "Sex in the Inner City" (Season 1, Episode 3), start to finish. Becker gets periodically more unhinged thanks to the antics of his patients, the diner crew, and Linda (as usual). Only Margaret (as usual) seems unaffected.
    Jake: Running's great. I miss it. It's always good for relieving sexual tension, too.
    Becker: Yeah, what do you do about that now?
    Jake: I have sex! Being blind doesn't keep me from having sex... But you know, sometimes—how do I put this?
    Becker: You 'run in place'?
    Jake: Well, I have already gone blind. [they both laugh]
    • After a very...stressful episode, the Brick Joke lands.
      Reggie: (walking home with groceries) Becker?!
      Becker: (runs past her in sweats) Don't say a word!
  • In Season 1, Episode 8 ("Physician, Heal Thyself"), Becker throws his back out and ends up practically paralyzed on his apartment floor. He manages to pull his phone down and get in touch with Reggie.
    Reggie: I could call my acupuncturist?
    Becker: I'd rather die first.
    Reggie: ...What was that?
    Becker: ...Okay.
    • Not to mention what happens when he tries calling Jake.
      Jake: Oh, I would if I could, but I'm feeling really sick. I've been in bed all afternoon, and— Thanks for understanding. All right. Sorry.
      (He lies back down in bed, where Francine the real estate agent is waiting for him)
      Jake: I am a bad man.
  • When Chris finds out that Reggie left town right before Becker asked her out and accuses him of dating her On the Rebound. She ends up throwing five glasses of water in his face (the last of which was supplied by a woman at another table) as he digs himself deeper and deeper. Capped off when the waiter appears after she leaves and starts refilling the water pitcher.
    Becker: Do I look like I'm thirsty?!
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  • In one of the last episodes, Becker is hesitant to go on a vacation to the Bahamas with Chris because all of his previous relationships began to go downhill after their first vacations with him. When he finally warms up to the idea since Chris kept bugging him about going, Chris sprains her ankle shortly after they arrive, leading to Becker having a great time and Chris being very miserable, all of it being completely Played for Laughs.
  • In one episode, Jake gets a girlfriend who describes literally everything, including sex. When they walk into the diner:
    Girlfriend: A strange little man just waved at me and is looking at me in a dirty way.
    Jake: Hi Bob.
  • Margaret takes a second job caring for an elderly rich man's dog, and is forced to bring him into the office in a pouch around her neck. Linda noticeably tries to avoid the subject, and when Margaret asks why, Linda replies, "I try not to comment on your clothes after last year's Christmas sweater." A minute later, Becker calls her in, likewise tries to ignore the dog, and gives the exact same reason why. And then Reggie comes in with an order for her, and likewise doesn't react to the dog.
    Margaret: Do I dress so badly that no one notices I'm wearing a dog?
    Reggie: Well, you know, ever since last year...
    Margaret: I know, I know! The Christmas sweater!
    Reggie: Actually, I was thinking of the pantsuit with the circles.
    Margaret: Get Out!
  • Bob posing as a blind begger to scam people, and immediately giving himself away by thanking a woman for a fiver.
  • The Newhart Phone Call Running Gag in "The Buddy System" where Linda's soon-to-be-divorced parents keep calling the office, with Linda, Margaret and eventually Becker getting involved. Four times, one of them manages to blow a secret that the other parent was keeping, each time adding "Okay, I did not know that you didn't know about that."
  • In "V-Day", Reggie tells Linda that she's keeping the chocolates she got on Valentine's Day
    Reggie: These are not to be eaten. They are to be saved and treasured. That way, for the rest of my life, I can remember what a great day today was.
    Linda: That's exactly why I keep the hamster that Jimmy Fisher gave me in the fifth grade.
    Becker: It's still alive?!
    Linda: Yeah, he calls me every few months. I can't get rid of him.

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