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  • This bit from a conversation about Adéwalé's exploits during the age of piracy:
    Louis-Joseph Gaultier:...rubbing elbows with the likes of Blackbeard, Woodes Rogers, and Calico Jack Rackham.
    Shay: Calico who?
    Louis-Joseph Gaultier: Oh read a book, will you.
  • A quip from Gist in reply to James Cook stating that he has only been as far south as Nantucket:
    Gist: I once knew a man from there.
  • Gist's Large Ham performances are full of them. But this one comment from him.
    Gist: While you were taking down the fort, I just happened to come across the treasury room.
    Shay: (deadpan) You don't say.
    Gist: I know. It was the darnest thing.
    • Then there was just after meeting some more Templars
    Gist: Let's celebrate! First rounds are on... the Colonel here.
  • While Haytham is interrogating a mook for Hope's location:
    Haytham: Where is your boss?
    Mook: I'll never tell! She'll kill me!
    Shay: If you don't tell, he'll kill ya.
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    • After the mook reveals Hope's location, Haytham kills him anyway. Shay is left with blood splatter on his face which he wipes away with a bit of disgust.
  • If you help out with one of the British-French clashes throughout the world, one of the victory taunts from the British, aside from "The ale will flow tonight!" and "The King himself would be proud!", is "I fucked your sister!"
  • A meta one- Shay's actor, Steven Pivosan, knew that most of the advertising budget would be going to Unity, so in an interview, he revealed that he did what he cheerfully called "Self promotion" (To note, this was before he was announced as Shay)- he went to a Comic Con cosplayed as Ash from Pokemon, but on his shirt was a self-ironed out Rogue logo with "I am" over it. According to Steven, one person asked him what it meant, and they didn't even care.
    • From the same interview, Steven mentioned a particular scene with him and Richard Dumont (Who plays the lovable hammy Christopher Gist) playing dumb on their alignment towards a curious James Cook. The final cut is they just shrugging it off, one of the previous however...
  • During one of the glitch memories, Viola pinpoints the date as 1776. Otso immediately comments that Franklin was ambassador for America in France at that time, causing Viola to snark:
    Viola: Ladies and gentlemen, Otso Berg- professional killer and amateur historian.
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  • After completing certain Abstergo Challenges, cheats are unlocked. One in particular, has Shay shouting catchphrases. it has to be seen to be believed.
  • The in-game Abstergo Employees manual. Including them banning hooded sweat shirts, and telling employees they should be suspicious of people with a fondness for wearing grey. And for the bleeding effect, telling them that if they see a fire, they should quickly touch the fire to check if it's real.
  • One of the ambient conversations once you arrive in Anticosti:
    Privateer 1: The rum here is terrible!
    Privateer 2: Let's see... that's not rum! That's eau de vie.
    Privateer 1: What?
    Privateer 2: Whiskey.
    Privateer 1: Well, the whiskey here is terrible!
  • The achievement for hitting 5+ enemies with one berserk grenade, thus turning a squad of disciplined soldiers into an ad-hoc moshpit, is called "Instant Vikings". Black Comedy at its finest.
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  • When Numbskull uploads the video of Shay's betrayal to the Assassin server, one of the frantic messages coming out is "I'm way too stoned for this!
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