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  • The group performances of the ballet and jazz combinations during "I Hope I Get It" often include some hilarious moments of physical comedy, depending on the dancers' invocations of Stylistic Suck.
    • The second female group includes Bebe, Vicki, Lois, and Cassie. While Vicki draws the most attention with her terrible, abortive attempt to perform the ballet combination and her request to have Larry act as a guide for the jazz combination, Lois is so overspecialised as a ballerina that she dances the jazz combination in a ballet style that looks comically out of place.
    • The third female group includes Tricia, Connie, Sheila, and Val. During the ballet combination, Tricia tries to draw attention to herself by moving out of formation and dancing in front of Sheila instead of to the side of her, prompting Sheila to give Zach an exasperated "WTF!?" look. As for the jazz combination, Val starts drifting toward the middle of the formation despite Zach repeatedly yelling "Dance OUT!", so he asks Sheila and Val to swap places... leading to Sheila getting the steps wrong and, rather than trying to fix them, simply giving up in disgust.
      Zach: [as Tricia, Connie, and Val complete the combination] Sheila, do you know the combination?
      Sheila: [sourly] I knew it when I was in the front.
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    • The first male group includes Don, Butch, Al, and Roy. Roy keeps getting his arms in the wrong position during the ballet combination despite Zach's attempt to correct him, and many a Roy down the years has run with this and flailed his arms in a way no professional dancer would do but that always gets laughs. As for the jazz combination, Zach tells Al to get rid of his chewing gum, so he takes it out of his mouth and hands it to Kristine... who may put it in her own mouth.
    • The second male group includes Tom, Richie, Paul, and Frank. When they perform the jazz combination, Richie gets a little too enthusiastic and rushes straight to the front of the stage despite being in the back row, forcing Zach to tell him to tone it down. However, Frank usually continues dancing as he is too busy focusing on his feet to realise Zach has told his group to stop.
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    • During the tap sequence, Zach wryly tells Connie if she's going to fake tap dance, she should smile bigger.
  • Greg's Coming-Out Story:
    Greg: We were necking and I was feeling her boobs and feeling her boobs. And after about an hour, she was all, 'Oooh! Don't you wanna feel anything else?' And I suddenly thought, 'No. No I don't!' That was probably the first time I realized I was homosexual.note 
  • Bobby's monologue is also pure hilarity. He broke into people's houses and didn't steal anything - he just rearranged their furniture.
    "I used to love to give garage recitals. Bizarre recitals. This one time I was doing Frankenstein as a musicale and I spray painted this kid silver — all over. They had to rush him to the hospital. 'Cause he had that thing when your pores can't breathe... he lived 'cause luckily I didn't paint the soles of his feet."
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  • Mark's monologue at the beginning of "Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen". Telling a priest at confessional you have gonorrhea... as a virgin. (Well, what else could that white sticky liquid coming out of your penis possibly be?)
  • Anything Val says. Girl's a literal walking CMOF.
    "I've never seen The Red Shoes. I'd never heard of The Red Shoes. I don't give a fuck about The Red Shoes!"
    • Then her story about a girl she didn't like getting "a goddamn parade" for being a Rockette. Then she got pregnant. "Oops! Merry Christmas!"
    • She laments that she was ugly as sin, and flat as a pancake. Then, "I got off the bus, in my little white shoes, my little white tights, my little white dress, my little ugly face, and my long blonde hair - which was natural then - I looked like a fucking nurse!"
    • And then her song. HER F-ING SONG! She starts by bitching about her previous unemployment, then she buys... "Tits! And ass!" She then proceeds to shamelessly flaunt her new "assets" for the rest of the song and gloat about how successful she is because of them, and in the instrumental break, shoves her boobs in the faces of everyone else in the chorus line, culminating in this exchange:
      Val: [Big grin] You're all looking at my tits now, aren't you?
      Sheila: They're not very big.
      Val: I heard that, you bitch. I didn't want them like yours, I wanted them in proportion.
      Sheila: Well, you got what you paid for.
      Connie: I wouldn't mind having just one of yours!note 
    • Oh my word, and that's not even getting started on some of the lines that pop up at various points throughout that same song.
      "Got the bingo-bongos done."
      "Suddenly I'm getting national tours! Tits and ass won't get you jobs, unless they're yours."
      "Didn't cost a fortune either! Didn't hurt my sex life either."
      [Covers chest with her arms] "Where the cupboard once was bare... [Spreads arms out, revealing her rack] Now you knock and someone's there!"
      "Shake your new maracas and you're fiiiiiiiiine!"
  • From the film, Larry catches Sheila taking a smoke break.
    Larry: Get your ass back on stage!
    Sheila: (sighing) Why is it only my ass that ever gets invites anywhere?
  • In the film, Sheila says she remembers Zach's attempts to be a professional dancer: he was awful. Zach laughs and replies, "Why do you think I became a choreographer?"

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