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** The RunningGag of Frank constantly looking at his feet can look quite ridiculous, sometimes resulting in him overcompensating by staring up at the ceiling instead... and usually staring back down by the end of it anyway.
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Changed line(s) 14 (click to see context) from:
* Anything [[IHaveBoobsYouMustObey Val]] says. Girl's a literal walking CMOF.
to:
* "Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love" is full of short outbursts representing [[CringeComedy painfully awkward memories from puberty]], such as Val repeatedly wondering when she's gonna grow tits (setting up her even funnier number later), Mike shouting that he got called "Stinky" for three years after farting in public, Kristine reacting in horror at "seeing Daddy naked!," or Sheila bluntly stating, "Surprise! Mom and Dad were doing it."
* Anything [[IHaveBoobsYouMustObey Val]] says.Girl's a literal walking CMOF.
* Anything [[IHaveBoobsYouMustObey Val]] says.
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Renamed + some cleanup
Changed line(s) 18 (click to see context) from:
** And then her song. HER F-ING SONG! She starts by bitching about her previous unemployment, then she buys... [[GagBoobs "Tits! And ass!"]] She then proceeds to shamelessly flaunt her new "assets" for the rest of the song and gloat about how successful she is because of them, and in the instrumental break, shoves her boobs in the faces of everyone else in the chorus line, culminating in this exchange:
to:
** And then then, her song. HER F-ING SONG! She starts by bitching about her previous unemployment, then she buys... [[GagBoobs [[BoobBasedGag "Tits! And ass!"]] She then proceeds to shamelessly flaunt her new "assets" for the rest of the song and gloat about how successful she is because of them, and in the instrumental break, shoves her boobs in the faces of everyone else in the chorus line, culminating in this exchange:
Changed line(s) 24 (click to see context) from:
** Oh my word, and that's not even getting started on some of the lines that pop up at various points throughout that same song.
to:
** Oh my word, and that's That's not even getting started on some of the lines that pop up at various points throughout that same song.
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** During the tap sequence, Zach wryly tells Connie if she's going to fake tap dance, she should smile bigger.
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Correcting quotes and removing an incorrect citation.
Changed line(s) 12 (click to see context) from:
* Mark's film monologue at the beginning of "Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen". Telling a priest at confessional you have gonorrhea... as a virgin. (Well, what else ''could'' that white sticky liquid coming out of your penis ''possibly'' be?)[[note]]In the original production, he thought he had acute appendicitis.[[/note]]
to:
* Mark's film monologue at the beginning of "Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen". Telling a priest at confessional you have gonorrhea... as a virgin. (Well, what else ''could'' that white sticky liquid coming out of your penis ''possibly'' be?)[[note]]In the original production, he thought he had acute appendicitis.[[/note]]be?)
Changed line(s) 15 (click to see context) from:
** Then her story about a girl she didn't like getting "a fucking ''parade''" for being a Rockette. Then she got pregnant. "Oops! Merry Christmas!"
to:
** Then her story about a girl she didn't like getting "a fucking goddamn ''parade''" for being a Rockette. Then she got pregnant. "Oops! Merry Christmas!"
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Changed line(s) 12 (click to see context) from:
* Mark's monologue at the beginning of "Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen". Telling a priest at confessional you have gonorrhea... as a virgin. (Well, what else ''could'' that white sticky liquid coming out of your penis ''possibly'' be?)
to:
* Mark's film monologue at the beginning of "Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen". Telling a priest at confessional you have gonorrhea... as a virgin. (Well, what else ''could'' that white sticky liquid coming out of your penis ''possibly'' be?)be?)[[note]]In the original production, he thought he had acute appendicitis.[[/note]]
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* The group performances of the ballet and jazz combinations during "I Hope I Get It" often include some hilarious moments of physical comedy, depending on the dancers' invocations of StylisticSuck.
** The second female group includes Bebe, Vicki, Lois, and Cassie. While Vicki draws the most attention with her terrible, abortive attempt to perform the ballet combination and her request to have Larry act as a guide for the jazz combination, Lois is so overspecialised as a ballerina that she dances the jazz combination in a ballet style that looks comically out of place.
** The third female group includes Tricia, Connie, Sheila, and Val. During the ballet combination, Tricia tries to draw attention to herself by moving out of formation and dancing in front of Sheila instead of to the side of her, prompting Sheila to give Zach an exasperated "WTF!?" look. As for the jazz combination, Val starts drifting toward the middle of the formation despite Zach repeatedly yelling "Dance OUT!", so he asks Sheila and Val to swap places... leading to Sheila getting the steps wrong and, rather than trying to fix them, simply giving up in disgust.
--->'''Zach:''' ''[as Tricia, Connie, and Val complete the combination]'' Sheila, do you know the combination?\\
'''Sheila:''' ''[sourly]'' I knew it when I was in the front.
** The first male group includes Don, Butch, Al, and Roy. Roy keeps getting his arms in the wrong position during the ballet combination despite Zach's attempt to correct him, and many a Roy down the years has run with this and flailed his arms in a way no professional dancer would do but that always gets laughs. As for the jazz combination, Zach tells Al to get rid of his chewing gum, so he takes it out of his mouth and hands it to Kristine... who may put it in her own mouth.
** The second male group includes Tom, Richie, Paul, and Frank. When they perform the jazz combination, Richie gets a little too enthusiastic and rushes straight to the front of the stage despite being in the back row, forcing Zach to tell him to tone it down. However, Frank usually continues dancing as he is too busy focusing on his feet to realise Zach has told his group to stop.
** The second female group includes Bebe, Vicki, Lois, and Cassie. While Vicki draws the most attention with her terrible, abortive attempt to perform the ballet combination and her request to have Larry act as a guide for the jazz combination, Lois is so overspecialised as a ballerina that she dances the jazz combination in a ballet style that looks comically out of place.
** The third female group includes Tricia, Connie, Sheila, and Val. During the ballet combination, Tricia tries to draw attention to herself by moving out of formation and dancing in front of Sheila instead of to the side of her, prompting Sheila to give Zach an exasperated "WTF!?" look. As for the jazz combination, Val starts drifting toward the middle of the formation despite Zach repeatedly yelling "Dance OUT!", so he asks Sheila and Val to swap places... leading to Sheila getting the steps wrong and, rather than trying to fix them, simply giving up in disgust.
--->'''Zach:''' ''[as Tricia, Connie, and Val complete the combination]'' Sheila, do you know the combination?\\
'''Sheila:''' ''[sourly]'' I knew it when I was in the front.
** The first male group includes Don, Butch, Al, and Roy. Roy keeps getting his arms in the wrong position during the ballet combination despite Zach's attempt to correct him, and many a Roy down the years has run with this and flailed his arms in a way no professional dancer would do but that always gets laughs. As for the jazz combination, Zach tells Al to get rid of his chewing gum, so he takes it out of his mouth and hands it to Kristine... who may put it in her own mouth.
** The second male group includes Tom, Richie, Paul, and Frank. When they perform the jazz combination, Richie gets a little too enthusiastic and rushes straight to the front of the stage despite being in the back row, forcing Zach to tell him to tone it down. However, Frank usually continues dancing as he is too busy focusing on his feet to realise Zach has told his group to stop.
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Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
* "We were necking and I was feeling her boobs and feeling her boobs. And after about an hour, she was all, 'Oooh! Don't you wanna feel anything else?' And I suddenly thought, 'No. No I don't!' That was probably the first time I realized I was homosexual."[[note]]Changed to "gay" in the film.[[/note]]
to:
* "We Greg's ComingOutStory:
-->'''Greg:''' We were necking and I was feeling her boobs and feeling her boobs. And after about an hour, she was all, 'Oooh! Don't you wanna feel anything else?' And I suddenly thought, 'No. No I don't!' That was probably the first time I realized I was homosexual."[[note]]Changed [[note]]Changed to "gay" in the film.[[/note]]
-->'''Greg:''' We were necking and I was feeling her boobs and feeling her boobs. And after about an hour, she was all, 'Oooh! Don't you wanna feel anything else?' And I suddenly thought, 'No. No I don't!' That was probably the first time I realized I was homosexual.
Changed line(s) 4 (click to see context) from:
* The monologue at the beginning of "Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen", as well. Telling a priest at confessional you have gonorrhea... as a virgin. (Well, what else ''could'' that white sticky liquid coming out of your penis ''possibly'' be?)
to:
* The Mark's monologue at the beginning of "Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen", as well.Thirteen". Telling a priest at confessional you have gonorrhea... as a virgin. (Well, what else ''could'' that white sticky liquid coming out of your penis ''possibly'' be?)
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"Stage directions" go in italics and brackets, not boldface and asterisks.
Changed line(s) 2 (click to see context) from:
* Bobby's monologue is also pure hilarity.
to:
* Bobby's monologue is also pure hilarity. He broke into people's houses and didn't steal anything - he just rearranged their furniture.
Deleted line(s) 4 (click to see context) :
** He also broke into people's houses and didn't steal anything - he just rearranged their furniture.
Changed line(s) 6 (click to see context) from:
* How about pretty much anything [[IHaveBoobsYouMustObey Val]] says? Girl's a literal walking CMOF.
to:
* How about pretty much anything Anything [[IHaveBoobsYouMustObey Val]] says? says. Girl's a literal walking CMOF.
Changed line(s) 10,15 (click to see context) from:
** And then her song. ''HER F-ING SONG!!!'' She starts by bitching about her previous unemployment, then she buys... [[GagBoobs "Tits! And ass!"]] She then proceeds to shamelessly flaunt her new "assets" for the rest of the song and gloat about how successful she is because of them, and in the instrumental break, shoves her boobs in the faces of everyone else in the chorus line, culminating in this exchange:
-->'''Val: *Big grin*''' You're all looking at my tits now, aren't you?
-->'''Sheila:''' They're not very big.
-->'''Val:''' I heard that, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch you bitch]]. I didn't want them like yours, I wanted them in proportion.
-->'''Sheila:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Well, you got what you paid for]].
-->'''Connie:''' I wouldn't mind having just one of yours![[note]]In the film, Val replies, "Well, go out and ''buy'' them!"[[/note]]
-->'''Val: *Big grin*''' You're all looking at my tits now, aren't you?
-->'''Sheila:''' They're not very big.
-->'''Val:''' I heard that, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch you bitch]]. I didn't want them like yours, I wanted them in proportion.
-->'''Sheila:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Well, you got what you paid for]].
-->'''Connie:''' I wouldn't mind having just one of yours![[note]]In the film, Val replies, "Well, go out and ''buy'' them!"[[/note]]
to:
** And then her song. ''HER HER F-ING SONG!!!'' SONG! She starts by bitching about her previous unemployment, then she buys... [[GagBoobs "Tits! And ass!"]] She then proceeds to shamelessly flaunt her new "assets" for the rest of the song and gloat about how successful she is because of them, and in the instrumental break, shoves her boobs in the faces of everyone else in the chorus line, culminating in this exchange:
-->'''Val: *Big grin*''' --->'''Val:''' ''[Big grin]'' You're all looking at my tits now, aren't you?
-->'''Sheila:'''you?\\
'''Sheila:''' They're not verybig.
-->'''Val:'''big.\\
'''Val:''' I heard that, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch you bitch]]. I didn't want them like yours, I wanted them inproportion.
-->'''Sheila:'''proportion.\\
'''Sheila:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Well, you got what you paidfor]].
-->'''Connie:'''for]].\\
'''Connie:''' I wouldn't mind having just one of yours![[note]]In the film, Val replies, "Well, go out and ''buy'' them!"[[/note]]
-->'''Sheila:'''
'''Sheila:''' They're not very
-->'''Val:'''
'''Val:''' I heard that, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch you bitch]]. I didn't want them like yours, I wanted them in
-->'''Sheila:'''
'''Sheila:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Well, you got what you paid
-->'''Connie:'''
'''Connie:''' I wouldn't mind having just one of yours![[note]]In the film, Val replies, "Well, go out and ''buy'' them!"[[/note]]
Changed line(s) 17,21 (click to see context) from:
-->"Got the bingo-bongos done."
-->"Suddenly I'm getting national tours! Tits and ass won't get you jobs, unless they're yours."
-->"Didn't cost a fortune either! Didn't hurt my sex life either."
-->'''*Covers chest with her arms*''' "Where the cupboard once was bare... '''*Spreads arms out, revealing her rack*''' Now you knock and someone's there!"
-->"Shake your new maracas and you're fiiiiiiiiine!"
-->"Suddenly I'm getting national tours! Tits and ass won't get you jobs, unless they're yours."
-->"Didn't cost a fortune either! Didn't hurt my sex life either."
-->'''*Covers chest with her arms*''' "Where the cupboard once was bare... '''*Spreads arms out, revealing her rack*''' Now you knock and someone's there!"
-->"Shake your new maracas and you're fiiiiiiiiine!"
to:
-->"Suddenly
"Suddenly I'm getting national tours! Tits and ass won't get you jobs, unless they're yours.
-->"Didn't
"Didn't cost a fortune either! Didn't hurt my sex life either.
-->'''*Covers
''[Covers chest with her
-->"Shake
"Shake your new maracas and you're fiiiiiiiiine!"
Changed line(s) 23,24 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Larry:''' Get your ass back on stage!
-->'''Sheila:''' ''(sighing)'' Why is it only my ''ass'' that ever gets invites anywhere?
-->'''Sheila:''' ''(sighing)'' Why is it only my ''ass'' that ever gets invites anywhere?
to:
-->'''Larry:''' Get your ass back on stage!
-->'''Sheila:'''stage!\\
'''Sheila:''' ''(sighing)'' Why is it only my ''ass'' that ever gets invites anywhere?
-->'''Sheila:'''
'''Sheila:''' ''(sighing)'' Why is it only my ''ass'' that ever gets invites anywhere?
Deleted line(s) 26 (click to see context) :
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-->'''Sheila:''' ''(sighing)'' Why is it my ''ass'' that ever gets invites anywhere?
to:
-->'''Sheila:''' ''(sighing)'' Why is it only my ''ass'' that ever gets invites anywhere?
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Changed line(s) 14,15 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Sheila:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Well, you got what you payed for]].
-->'''Connie:''' I wouldn't mind having just one of yours!
-->'''Connie:''' I wouldn't mind having just one of yours!
to:
-->'''Sheila:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Well, you got what you payed paid for]].
-->'''Connie:''' I wouldn't mind having just one ofyours!yours![[note]]In the film, Val replies, "Well, go out and ''buy'' them!"[[/note]]
-->'''Connie:''' I wouldn't mind having just one of
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Changed line(s) 25,26 (click to see context) from:
* In the film, Sheila says she remembers Zack's attempts to be a professional dancer: he was ''awful''. Zack laughs and replies, "Why do you think I became a choreographer?"
to:
* In the film, Sheila says she remembers Zack's Zach's attempts to be a professional dancer: he was ''awful''. Zack Zach laughs and replies, "Why do you think I became a choreographer?"
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Changed line(s) 6 (click to see context) from:
* How about pretty much anything Val says? Girl's a literal walking CMOF.
to:
* How about pretty much anything Val [[IHaveBoobsYouMustObey Val]] says? Girl's a literal walking CMOF.
Changed line(s) 13 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Val:''' I heard that, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch you bitch]]. I didn't want the like yours, I wanted them in proportion.
to:
-->'''Val:''' I heard that, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch you bitch]]. I didn't want the them like yours, I wanted them in proportion.
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Changed line(s) 6 (click to see context) from:
* How about pretty much anything Val says?
to:
* How about pretty much anything Val says?says? Girl's a literal walking CMOF.
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** She laments that she was ugly as sin, and [[ACupAngst flat as a pancake]]. Then, "I got off the bus, in my little white shoes, my little white tights, my little white dress, my little ugly face, and my long blonde hair - which was natural then - [[SophisticatedAsHell I looked like a fucking nurse]]!"
** And then her song. ''HER F-ING SONG!!!'' She starts by bitching about her previous unemployment, then she buys... [[GagBoobs "Tits! And ass!"]] She then proceeds to shamelessly flaunt her new "assets" for the rest of the song and gloat about how successful she is because of them, and in the instrumental break, shoves her boobs in the faces of everyone else in the chorus line, culminating in this exchange:
-->'''Val: *Big grin*''' You're all looking at my tits now, aren't you?
-->'''Sheila:''' They're not very big.
-->'''Val:''' I heard that, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch you bitch]]. I didn't want the like yours, I wanted them in proportion.
-->'''Sheila:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Well, you got what you payed for]].
-->'''Connie:''' I wouldn't mind having just one of yours!
** Oh my word, and that's not even getting started on some of the lines that pop up at various points throughout that same song.
-->"Got the bingo-bongos done."
-->"Suddenly I'm getting national tours! Tits and ass won't get you jobs, unless they're yours."
-->"Didn't cost a fortune either! Didn't hurt my sex life either."
-->'''*Covers chest with her arms*''' "Where the cupboard once was bare... '''*Spreads arms out, revealing her rack*''' Now you knock and someone's there!"
-->"Shake your new maracas and you're fiiiiiiiiine!"
** And then her song. ''HER F-ING SONG!!!'' She starts by bitching about her previous unemployment, then she buys... [[GagBoobs "Tits! And ass!"]] She then proceeds to shamelessly flaunt her new "assets" for the rest of the song and gloat about how successful she is because of them, and in the instrumental break, shoves her boobs in the faces of everyone else in the chorus line, culminating in this exchange:
-->'''Val: *Big grin*''' You're all looking at my tits now, aren't you?
-->'''Sheila:''' They're not very big.
-->'''Val:''' I heard that, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch you bitch]]. I didn't want the like yours, I wanted them in proportion.
-->'''Sheila:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Well, you got what you payed for]].
-->'''Connie:''' I wouldn't mind having just one of yours!
** Oh my word, and that's not even getting started on some of the lines that pop up at various points throughout that same song.
-->"Got the bingo-bongos done."
-->"Suddenly I'm getting national tours! Tits and ass won't get you jobs, unless they're yours."
-->"Didn't cost a fortune either! Didn't hurt my sex life either."
-->'''*Covers chest with her arms*''' "Where the cupboard once was bare... '''*Spreads arms out, revealing her rack*''' Now you knock and someone's there!"
-->"Shake your new maracas and you're fiiiiiiiiine!"
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** He also broke into people's houses and didn't steal anything - he just rearranged their furniture.
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Changed line(s) 11 (click to see context) from:
to:
* In the film, Sheila says she remembers Zack's attempts to be a professional dancer: he was ''awful''. Zack laughs and replies, "Why do you think I became a choreographer?"
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Changed line(s) 8 (click to see context) from:
to:
* From the film, Larry catches Sheila taking a smoke break.
-->'''Larry:''' Get your ass back on stage!
-->'''Sheila:''' ''(sighing)'' Why is it my ''ass'' that ever gets invites anywhere?
-->'''Larry:''' Get your ass back on stage!
-->'''Sheila:''' ''(sighing)'' Why is it my ''ass'' that ever gets invites anywhere?
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Changed line(s) 7 (click to see context) from:
to:
** Then her story about a girl she didn't like getting "a fucking ''parade''" for being a Rockette. Then she got pregnant. "Oops! Merry Christmas!"
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* "We were necking and I was feeling her boobs and feeling her boobs. And after about an hour, she was all, 'Oooh! Don't you wanna feel anything else?' And I suddenly thought, 'No. No I don't!' That was probably the first time I realized I was homosexual."[[note]]Changed to "gay" in the film.[[/note]]
* Bobby's monologue is also pure hilarity.
-->"I used to love to give garage recitals. ''Bizarre'' recitals. This one time I was doing Frankenstein as a music''ale'' and I spray painted this kid silver -- all over. They had to rush him to the hospital. 'Cause he had that thing when your pores can't breathe... he lived 'cause luckily I didn't paint the soles of his feet."
* The monologue at the beginning of "Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen", as well. Telling a priest at confessional you have gonorrhea... as a virgin. (Well, what else ''could'' that white sticky liquid coming out of your penis ''possibly'' be?)
* How about pretty much anything Val says?
-->"I've never seen ''[[Film/TheRedShoes1948 The Red Shoes]]''. I'd never heard of ''The Red Shoes''. I don't give a ''fuck'' about ''The Red Shoes''!"
----
* Bobby's monologue is also pure hilarity.
-->"I used to love to give garage recitals. ''Bizarre'' recitals. This one time I was doing Frankenstein as a music''ale'' and I spray painted this kid silver -- all over. They had to rush him to the hospital. 'Cause he had that thing when your pores can't breathe... he lived 'cause luckily I didn't paint the soles of his feet."
* The monologue at the beginning of "Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen", as well. Telling a priest at confessional you have gonorrhea... as a virgin. (Well, what else ''could'' that white sticky liquid coming out of your penis ''possibly'' be?)
* How about pretty much anything Val says?
-->"I've never seen ''[[Film/TheRedShoes1948 The Red Shoes]]''. I'd never heard of ''The Red Shoes''. I don't give a ''fuck'' about ''The Red Shoes''!"
----
