Funny / Chicago

• "My exit music, please?" *silence* Poor Amos.
• Even Amos' parents didn't notice him. "One day, I came home from school, and they'd moved."
• In the film version:
  Billy: My client never kept a diary!
  Roxie: Yeah! And she broke the lock!
• "So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots... into his head."
• "And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times!"
• Depending on the actresses involved, "Class" can very quickly turn into this.
• At the ending of Velma's spectacular dance number, "I Can't Do It Alone," trying to get Roxie to join her act:
  Roxie: So, where's the part where you blew her brains out?
  Velma: (Death Glare, then leaves)
• Billy denying that he's saying that the prosecution faked Roxie's diary. (beat) "But now that you mention it..."
• Roxie confusing the various aspects of her "background" story.
  Roxie: I was born on the beautiful Southern convent!
  Mama: What?
• Towards the end of "We Both Reached For The Gun", Roxie decides to answer one question on her own after Billy gets distracted.
  Mary Sunshine: Are you sorry?
  Roxie: Are you kidding?!
  • Earlier, we get this gem:
    Reporter: When'd you get here?
    Billy-as-Roxie: 1920.
    Reporter: How old were you?
    (Roxie elbows Billy angrily)
    Billy-as-Roxie: Don't remember!
• "SHE STOLE MY GARTER!"

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