"What possessed you to do something so retarded?"
— Sunset Shimmer
What if Twilight Sparkle invented a wildly successful marital aid made of magic beans and no-one but Sunset Shimmer saw anything strange about that?
This is the premise behind The Beanis Cinematic Universe
, an absurdist sexual comedy collaborative fan fiction universe based on My Little Pony: Equestria Girls. Originating with the story "Beware of Beanis" written by Majin Syeekoh on FimFiction, the BCU has since evolved into a shared collaborative universe with a rich sense of continuity where multiple talented authors all work together to out-do each other and have a good time.
Warning! Beware of unmarked spoilers!
Stories in the BCU:
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Prequels
- Burnonomics: Sonata attempts to help Aria with her hand cramps with unexpected results.
- Before Beanis: Rainbow Dash is burdened with terrible purpose. And penis.
Phase 1
- Beware of Beanis: Twilight makes a penis out of beans.
- You Learn Something New Every Day: Sunset Shimmer asks Rainbow Dash why she wanted a penis made of bean-paste and ends up getting more information than she asked for- or ever wanted to know.
- The Power of Beanis Compels You: Sunset Shimmer really wishes her friends knew and respected personal boundaries.
- Of Beanies and Beanises: Sunset Shimmer takes Starlight Glimmer to Rainbow Dash's house to show her the beany underside of the human world.
- Homework is a Real Kick in the Dick: Lemon Zest wants to engage in an unusual fetish. Luckily for her, Twilight specializes in unusual fetishes.
- The Beanis Between Us: Twilight's data transfer rates needs speeding up, so she calls in help from Sunset.
- Stuck in the Middle of You: Rainbow Dash’s dick gets stuck in the last place she thought it would.
Extended Continuity for Phase 1
- Pinkie Loves Bacon Bits: In between impossible 4th wall transitions on the show, Pinkie Pie appears in Sunset Shimmer’s home and annoys her endlessly about her boobs.
- This story is only mildly connected to the greater BCU.
- Ethical Quandaries: Sunset and Starlight cycle through some ethics questions.
- Like Groceries: Sunset finds out about Twilight's newest marital aid product. She's not pleased.
Interim
- No Idea Too Crazy: Twilight hires a new employee onto Beanis, Inc. R&D.
- Hands-Freenis: Sunset shows up at the pre-release of Twilight's newest creation.
Phase 2
- Wallflower Blush Gives All the Sick MLG Noscopes that SciTwi Wishes She Could Pull Off in this Sucka: A Beanis story: Beanis, Inc turns a profit and a corner.
- Late-Night Beanvertising: Sunset just wants to go to bed. Too bad Twilight's newest business plan might send their business venture into a tailspin.
- Small Beanis Owners: The rise of farm-to-bedroom, locally sourced, vegan, organic marital aids!
- Octofussy: While Beanis, Inc. continues to be a success, the identity of who stole Twilight's plans for the Tofussy is still a mystery. Fortunately, Rarity's on the case!
- In the Grim Beanis of the Future: Beanis has to be destroyed before it can annihilate the future. Only one woman has the stones to pull it off.
- The Second Coming (and Going):A group of people outside Beanis Inc leads to an interesting discovery.
- Bean Counting: Sunset returns from her vacation to deal with the work that's piled up in her absence... and Twilight's latest bean-based obsession.
- A Pound of Flesh: It's an average day at Beanis Inc, which means there are several concurrent disasters and an angry mob.
- Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Beanis: Wherein Sunset seeks a sympathetic ear whose life doesn't yet revolve around unspeakable applications of refried beans.
- GHOST BLOWJOB: After a bean related biohazard forces Flash out of his home, he turns to his ex for help. Sunset is happy to let him crash for a bit, and hang out like normal people. Of course, the ghost of Somnambula is still crashing at her place too.
- The Good, The Bad and the Beanis:At the first All Hands meeting of Beanis Inc, Rainbow Dash explains the secret (and not at all made up) origins of the Beanis.
Extended Continuity for Phase 2
- Bean Banditos: Excuse me, Ma'am, do you have a moment to take the Beanis Challenge?
- Beanis 2718: Sunset Shimmer watches Twilight make a kickstarter for her new business. And Sunset watches too. And Sunset. And Sunset.
- Bean Runner: Even another universe isn't far enough away for Sunset to pretend her life is normal.
- Fuzzy Fluffy Fables
- This story is only mildly connected to the greater BCU.
- Black (Beans) As Dark As Night: A story about pathos, beans, revenge, and ninjas. But mostly about beans.
- Duel of the Favas: What does it take to get a raise in this economy? A fight to the death, apparently.
- Ancient Egyptian Bean Games: Sunset just wanted to pick up her phone. It's a shame Twilight's decided that to reach the full potential of Beanis Inc, she needs to delve into the mysteries of the past.
- Beanniversary: Sunset Shimmer bakes a beanaroni pizza.
- The Adventure of the Golden Triangle: When a threat is delivered to Beanis Inc Headquarters, only Luna has the deductive mind to find the culprit.
Non-Canon
- Cupcanus: What happens when magic connects some sweet buns to Pinkie's buns?
- Where Are My Beans?! (An Interactive Story): Sunset Shimmer has lost her beans! Can you help her find them?
- Y'All Need Beanis: Sunset Shimmer searches for sanctuary... and instead falls further into bean-flavored madness
- The Father, the Son, and the Holy Beanis: "Would you like to know more about our lord and savior, the Great Bean?”
- The Beanis Intervention: Rainbow Dash has a little obsession, or rather, a huge obsession that’s getting increasingly public. Her friends step in to try to get the situation under control. Will their well-intended meeting make a difference? Probably not.
- Group Precipitation: Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.
- J Edgar Hoover in Equestria: J Edgar Hoover goes to Equestria, for some reason. He decides to destroy the zebras.
- The Winter Beanis: Wherein Twilight Sparkle gives a penis made of beans a metal arm.
- Virtual Beanality: Twilight Sparkle develops new functionality for the Datanis, much to Sunset Shimmer's consternation.
Tropes
- Apple of Discord: The Beanis seems to qualify as this for the relationship between Sunset and her friends.
- Applied Phlebotinum: In the context of the BCU, beans (and bean-based technology) power everything from substitute phalli, to robots, to time travel and cybernetics.
- Artifact of Attraction: Rainbow Dash's penis. It's too perfect.
- Character Exaggeration: The name of the game for a comedy fic built on a ridiculous premise. Rainbow Dash is comically stupid, Twilight is criminally insane, Sunset is miserably sane, etc.
- Cerebus Syndrome: Things began to get a lot more serious at the start of Phase 2.
- Hermaphrodite: Rainbow Dash has a penis. Don't think too hard about it.
- Everybody Wants the Hermaphrodite: Rainbow Dash's penis seems to have memetic qualities strong enough to make anyone who see it want to have sex with her (except Sunset Shimmer, who is asexual). Rainbow Dash isn't that annoyed by it, though it is nice when it doesn't happen.
- Enraged by Idiocy: Sunset's annoyance and exasperation continues to grow throughout the series, as the shenanigans she's forced to endure grow ever stupider.
- Genius Ditz: Twilight is smart enough to create a corporate empire out of her magic sex toys, but continuously fails at basic social boundaries, lacks any sense of restraint and gleefully wastes company resources on whatever new idea takes her fancy.
- Knight of Cerebus: The arrival of Tempest Shadow seems to be a huge turning point.
- Mad Scientist: Twilight herself, wielding both science and magic in miraculous ways to create sex toys.
- Only Sane Woman: Sunset's primary role in the series. Flash almost seems to be this, giving Sunset a brief Hope Spot that she's not alone in this insanity. It doesn't last.
- Only Sane Employee: Sunset's accounting skills and her knack for solving disasters are the only reason Beanis Inc even made it off the ground.
- Refuge in Audacity: The entire premise of this now 75000 word plus shared fanfiction universe is that people are obsessed with genitalia made of beans.
- Set Right What Once Went Wrong:
- In Beanis 2718, Sunset, Sunset, and Twilight, and Sunset, go back in time to stop each other from stopping each other from starting Beanis Inc. Sunset 1 gives up and shoots everyone.
- In The Grim Beanis of the Future, Tempest Shadow goes back in time and attempts to stop the rise of Beanos. Attempts.
- Swear Jar: Sunset sets up a system where every time she calls one of Twilight's ideas stupid, she has to put a dollar in the jar, so she can eventually take a vacation. It doesn't take her very long.
- Terminator Twosome: Tempest Shadow goes back in time to stop Beanos's rise. Beanos sends a Flutterdroid to intercept.
- Timey-Wimey Ball: Time travel is apparently easily manipulated. Sunset is mostly exasperated that two separate instances of time-travel are both trying to stop Beanis Inc.
- Too Dumb to Live: Rainbow Dash has gotten her dick stuck in things/people an uncomfortable number of times greater than zero.
- Trapped in the Past: Tempest Shadow has no way of going home. Ends up getting most of her memories suppressed. She gets nightmares about it though.
