open/close all folders
Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain
- The second fight, in which the Inscrutable Machine curbstomps Miss A and Ifrit. Especially when Penny and Ray switch targets, Penny taking out Miss A (who Ray had been fighting) and Ray Ifrit (who had been fighting Penny).
- Lucyfar gets hit with the random curse grenade Cybermancer invented and one of Penny's cursed pennies, and shrugs both off by reminding everyone that she has a good claim on being the Princess of Darkness.Lucyfar pulled herself up completely straight and plucked the penny free of her dress. A black, burning crown roared into existence above her head, and she announced in a strained but just barely calm voice, "I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I am the morning star, the fallen one, the first and most damned child of creation. Magic is the power of creation, children. It cannot harm me."
In case she hadn't made her point, she clenched my penny in her fist. Flames leaked between her fingers, and a painful knot twitched in my belly. I heard a girl's voice shriek in the distance. My voice.
- Ray defeating Witch Hunter in a fight. Witch Hunter is a Badass Normal who's noted to spend fairly large amounts of time training and seems to be fairly infamous in supervillain circles. Twice as awesome as immediately prior to the fight Witch Hunter brags "I can't promise not to kill you, boy."
- The Librarian's fight with She Who Wots, at first the two through big flashy attacks against one another, which ends without either one gaining a clear advantage, despite She Who Wots claiming fire to be the Librarian's weakness due to her failing to prevent the Library of Alexandria form being burnt down in the past. The Librarian isn't harmed by the attack however and decides to show just how dangerous mastery over all books can be, and first calls She Who Wots by her real name before magically producing the supervillainess' Secret Diary. Shen then promptly starts to read from it revealing passages filled with utterly mundane teenage angst which reduces She Who Wots to screaming "NO" a lot before she collapse on the ground sobbing pathetically and utterly helpless. A surprisingly Crazy Enough to Work strategy for someone as straight laced as the Librarian.
Please Don't Tell My Parents I Blew Up The Moon
- One of the reasons that Penny's mother is convinced that Penny isn't Bad Penny is because Bad Penny isn't as good a mad scientist as Penny. After all, it's impossible for her to have made all her awesome equipment, so she's clearly just a jealous tech thief. If she was making all that herself, she'd be a better mad scientist than Tesla.Walking over to the elevator, I said as if it was an apology, "I caught my parents comparing mad scientists on the way out. How would you guys rate my powers?"
They knew the terminology, of course. Claire went, "Red Eye's pretty good. She's limited to energy beam themes and projective lens based technology, but she's got one, two... three Tier Threes and about a hundred Tier Twos. Not including her eye. Mech is about the same. It's his ability to integrate devices into his power armor that's impressive."
We stepped into the elevator. I pushed the button, and it ground its way up. Ray took over. "You've displayed Tier Threes in... four different themes I can think of, all with different tech types, Twos in one, two, three—" He stopped himself, and gave me a surprised look. His eyebrows went up around the edge of the mask. "Okay, wow."
I hit the button on my chest, forming my light bike right in the doorway as the elevator reached ground level. Hopping on, I shoved the pedal and left my best friends to listen to my triumphant laughter.
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
- Someone blows up Penny's school computer, leaving behind glowing electrical letters in the air proclaiming "TOP THIS." Penny uses the Machine to build a clockwork device that consumes the energy and keeps time, all in under five minutes, and while pretending her power is much weaker than it is. She even gets a pretty badass potential superhero name out of it: "Penultimate."
Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen
- Penny's mom curb-stomps Cassie with a flicked eraser she stole from her daughter's pencil. Do not mess with the Audit.Cassie: Did you know I would trip?
The Audit: You have had a growth spurt in the last six months, and your kinesthetic sense is not yet used to your longer legs and changed center of gravity. There was a two percent chance of concussion or worse trauma. That would combine observational and operant conditioning to reduce the chance of more in-class incidents by other students by sixty-nine percent. If I had taken a step forward before throwing, you would have hit the desk at a different angle, falling head-first and increasing the likelihood of injury to fifty-fifty. Despite the usefulness as a lesson, I decided that was morally unacceptable.
Please Don't Tell My Parents I Have a Nemesis
- The final scene, when Marianne rescues Penny but can't do anything more."I can't take sides in a fight I don't understand. Iím here to help someone in need. I've given you a chance. If you are the real Penny Akk, who gave Bull Cuddihy peace, who gave Claudia Cuddihy freedom, and gave my great niece Barbara hope, then a chance is all you need."
Standing again, she left, as quietly and peacefully as she came.
I lay there.
Something stirred in my despair, and I shouted, "Let there be light!"
Immediately, the torches roared back to life, lighting the room.
Sister Marianne was right. This might be the worst moment of my life. Even worse might be around the corner. But an imposter had stolen my super power, my parents, and my life. I would get them back. She'd imprisoned me in a Heart of Steel, and she would find out that steel does not bend and it does not tarnish.
Climbing to my feet, I called, "Machine! Come to me."
Tiny feet clattered on stone, and my metal heart pounded with satisfaction as the Machine crawled into the room, and straight for me. With only one arm, I had to crouch down and roll my wrist over him until he got the hint, but he took hold where he belonged.
Next, I picked up the Heart of Gold, and tucked her safely in my pocket. As Tesla was my witness, one day she would live again.
Finally, I picked up my broken left arm. I would need it. This was not the end of Penelope Justice Akk. This was the beginning of a war.
For once, I did not feel like laughing.
Please Don't Tell My Parents You Believe Her
- Penny sacrificing her godlike Mad Science power to end the threat... then realizing she's still one of the best mad scientists in the world with her much lesser power.
I Did Not Give That Spider Superhuman Intelligence
- Psychopomp, a pre-teen girl with nothing but a very sharp scythe, utterly curb-stomps everything she meets.Goodnight: I've never seen her fight. None of them have lasted long enough to deserve the name.
Please Don't Tell My Parents I Work For A Supervillain
- No one can recognize Magenta... except Tonika, a completely ordinary human who identifies when the power is working on her and logics her way around it.
- Magenta foiling Cleric's plan. Even Cleric is impressed.
Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm Queen Of The Dead
- When Avery's necromancer ancestor possesses her, she solves the problem instantly, showing what a real necromancer can do.
- Avery's friends save her from possession by exploiting Alicia's blindspots and the fact that she dismisses them as threats. Even Avery's parents don't notice anything is wrong, but they figure it out and save her.