Weird dreams

I was in some photo spread in a magazine because my parents were friends with a senator. (Why this meant I was going to be in a photo spread I don't know.) And I was to be mentioned a couple of times in an accompanying article. So far, so good. Then I get the mockup and the article is fine but one of the photos of me is captioned with the wrong name and age, when the right name had been used in the article and there was no reason to mention an age at all. So I rose hell at the people writing the article and threw a very out of character tantrum trying to get it corrected. I also threw one at my dad who had been the one giving them information.

Anyway that got sorted out and I was headed out to dinner with my family and the Senator's family. Someone asked my brother (who was there for some reason despite not living nearby any more) how old I was and he gave another wrong age (though a more flattering one than the original photo caption would have). Someone at another table yelled at me for wearing a leather jacket and eating meat and I asked if they were going to call me a "bloodmouth" next.

Then later I was informed that my secret was safe and I went home to change, taking off the shoes that made my feet look a little bigger and added a few inches to my height, as well as the circle lenses and fake nose I'd been wearing, and it turned out I was a Japanese schoolgirl the entire time.

The other night, I had a dream that I was in an office in my high school, when a particularly unkind paraprofessional was chasing me. I locked myself in the office, and she was trying to beat down the door and stab at it with knives. I held her off by pushing a bookshelf in front of the door.

Last night, I had a dream that I was on a boat and high waves kept coming. They made the boat sway and got me wet, but it didn't capsize. When it docked, I was in a shopping mall that I had seen in a previous dream. The food court was on a raised level, and straight ahead was a bookstore. I went into the bookstore and found some kids' books. One of them had a particularly NSFW segment involving a rabbit. I wanted to take a picture of it with my phone for the lulz, but the camera wouldn't work because the phone had gotten wet.

ETA: Another one last night. I was in a class being taught by Jhonen Vasquez. He was being really relaxed about the class, and he let me get some Taco Bell for the class. I ordered about $4,000 in food, and got upset because I didn't have that much left on my card, so he paid it for me.

edited 15th Jul '14 12:25:00 PM by Twentington

Oh dear. I seriously believe my head is screwed up. In order of appearence(all one dream):

1. I take my dad to see 'The Angry Video Game Nerd Movie'. I have a nervous breakdown halfway through the title sequence.

2. A bad guy from a book I'm writing traps me in a computer, a la Tron.

3. I get killed, then sent to H-E-double hockey sticks, because I can't afford heaven.

4. After stealing a pamphlet in front of heaven detailing how to get a ton of coins, me and a less sassy version of Rue buy our way into heaven...

5.The bad guy has a Villainous BSoD at the stupidity of it all.

6. ...and somehow bust our way out of the computer, killing him.

7. We inexplicably hop onto a small dingy with a ton of other kids. We are then attacked by pirates.

8. An instructor hands me a tack telling me, 'You'll know what to do'.

9. I chuck it at the pirate, who doesn't even notice.

10. We somehow escape, then get to a part of the ocean where there exists water where wishes come true. Naturally, I abuse it for all it's worth, but they somehow wear off.

11. Rue wishes for flight, then flies away to join an academy for flying kids.

12. I go on a few more adventures with the kids, then go to the train station to have a tearful goodbye with Rue, despite the fact she already left.

Yeah, I think I should make that into a book.

edited 15th Jul '14 5:32:43 PM by Dimentiosome

While out of town, I had several odd dreams for several nights:

Day one: I was watching Cartoon Network when an episode of Ed, Edd n Eddy came on, and, according to the title card, it was written by Sarah. Naturally in the episode, which looked to be drawn in crayon like Dexter and Computress Get Mandark, everything in the episode went in favor of Sarah and Jimmy, while everyone else (especially the Eds) had one bad thing happen to them after another. At the end of the episode, it was revealed that the kids were watching the episode on TV themselves. Eddy told Sarah that the episode sucked, and proceeded to have a massive tantrum that wound up destroying the world.

I then changed the channel to find a documentary about the last moments on the Titanic which was narrated by John Hurt, who also played a crew memberon the ship. I wasn't watching it for very long before things went wrong. John Hurt suddenly started spouting out nonsense and began laughing very hard, which somehow caused the Titanic to snap in half BEFORE it hit the iceburg and started sinking right there and then. I had somehow wound up on the ship and escaped by floating away on a large green sofa. I made it to a water park, and things kinda petered out.

.....

DAY TWO: Reading Rainbow featured a book starring my family and I and was about how we visited Wales, stayed there too long, and gradually transformed into dragons. I remember the book made a big deal about how Shapeshifting Excludes Clothing was in effect here and went on about how I lost my clothes when I turned into a dragon.

Another dream I had that same night featured a new series of X-Men comics...But as Kids! In the comic, Wolverine and Mystique were in a Prank War with Professor X and Magneto, but seemed to be losing. They were right in the middle of making Magneto think there were three Professors (two of them being Mystique and Wolverine of course...don't ask how the latter was now the Professor) while I was trying to stop Quicksilver from exposing the ruse, because he apparently hated pranks. Wolverine and Mystique succesfully fooled Magneto, which pissed off Quicksilver so badly that he threw a massive tantrum, turned evil, and somehow created a tornado that swept everyone away.

edited 18th Jul '14 8:52:33 AM by kablammin45

Aaaaaand last night I had an odd Pokemon/Marvel/DC Comics mash up dream where Spiderman was a Pokemon Trainer and entered a Pokemon gym whose gym leader was Aquaman. (Some other supers were in there but I don't remember who they were.) Aquaman sent out an Electrode (I would have thought he would only have Water-Types, but oh well) and Spidey sent out a Swampert, who I apparently was in this dream. Aquaman's Electrode had a bizarre move that summoned a copy of me who gave a long speech about how cool Aquaman was that made me faint immediately.

After I fainted, the dream cut to the end of the match, that Spiderman and I lost. Turns out that Spiderman needed to win or else Aquaman would have to get rid of Spiderman and replace him with a much stronger version of Spidey. A guy who looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger and was in a Spiderman suit came in, beat Spidey and I up and left. Fortunately, Spidey went and tracked him down and stopped him, and it turned out that he was actually a red Machamp who had been forced by Aquaman to assume Spiderman's identity, for no other reason than Aquaman found Peter Parker annoying. Spidey took the Machamp home with him, and Aquaman was punished by turning into a rather creepy looking shark-human hybrid.

All I remember was that the dream was a weird mashup of 30Rock and House Of Cards US.

I dreamed that I was attending a fire in some sort off industrial facility. I was watching two guys in American (maybe specifically Chicago?) fire gear going into a small room that was on the verge of flashover. The first guy opened the door and stepped inside...

For some reason I was giving my wife a running commentary on what was going on, telling her 'Uh...I don't think that guy should be going in there...'

...At that point, the room flashed over. I don't know if you've ever seen a video of a flashover, but they are at once weirdly beautiful and utterly terrifying. Basically, a flashover is the point where everything in a space that can burn simultaneously decides that it will burn or, as one textbook puts it: 'the point where a fire in a room becomes a room on fire'.

Anyway, the flames suddenly reared up, the choking smoke vanished as it was suddenly ignited and, more hideously, so was the fireman's gear. The most memorable image from the dream was the sleeve of his air tank igniting and flames licking around the valve assemble as an opaque orange sheet of roasty death closed around him.

Anyway, frantic gas cooling and firefighting and a mad dash into a lethally hot room and the horrendously slow extraction of the monstrously charred casualty ensued.

It wasn't a nightmare, though...it just was.

Most weird dreams I have, I forget the next day. However, the night I first watched Wreck It Ralph, I do remember it. It started off with me I'm that scene where Ralph gets stopped by the holographic guard, with me in Ralph's place. Then I punch the guard, and steal what looks like a golf cart and drive it up the station's wall-connecting wire... And then I wake up.

I don't completely remember my dream, but I had a pool party and terl was there for some reason, and then we went to some different country, and one of my friends was magically there. So we rode a whale, but it turned into a demon whale and made a giant whirlpool... and it was so weird.

edited 23rd Jul '14 11:15:17 AM by DaftPunch

I have the same dream all the time.

As it begins, I find myself on-stage with a band, holding a guitar. The problem? Both in real life and in the dream, I can't play any instruments. At all. Believe me, I've tried.

So I am stood there on the stage, wondering why I even agreed to do it in the first place. I know very well I can't play a thing, and the dream offers no explanation why I offered to play for the band or why they agreed to let me.

Thankfully, after a few seconds of standing there feeling like a total dick, the dream ends.

Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage had set up a band in the Burger King in the town I just moved from today. They had all sorts of exotic and varied string instruments. I kept begging them to let me play mandolin with them, since I can sort of play mandolin, but they kept turning me down.

Also, said Burger King was remodeled in Real Life just a few months ago, but in my dream, it looked like it did pre-remodel.

I have to write this down before I forget it since there was a lot going on.

It started when I was visiting some friend (in the dream we'd been friends for years, I think she was a composite of a few friends I've had IRL over the years) who was providing home hospice care for an aging relative (I think it was a grandmother). And she wanted me to move in with her after her relative passed so I was filling out this application for the company she worked at. I think the company did typography or graphics or something. Anyway they wanted me to type up a resume in a very specific way even though I was applying to do their payroll and bookkeeping or something. It had to be three sections. each in a different font they'd selected, and two pages.

So I was at work at my current job (which was the same as my IRL current job, working in the antiques shop. I also do the payroll and bookkeeping here.) And then my parents announce that despite the fact I may be leaving soon they bought a SECOND shop to run and want to take me there right away. Fortunately I can bring my laptop and work on the resume thing. Anyway, this new shop is going to sell old shaving stuff and other cosmetic-type stuff (old mirrored compacts, perfume bottles, lipstick cases, etc.) It is a small shop that is near a J.C. Penneys and next to an old abandoned XXX theater. The theater still has this weird cutout of an Expy of Mickey Mouse reminding you to pick up your tissues after the show.

So I get the laptop set up in there and am working on this resume thing and we're not even OPEN yet and this customer comes in wanting to buy straight razors. Guy looks a bit like The Penguin or something. And he's asking me for help and I don't even know where anything is and am not even sure I am going to work there yet too and so I get my parents.

Then we're figuring out my work schedule for the week and which shop I'm working at when and if they are going to hire someone else if I get this third job and move in with my friend (who I think lived in another state). And meanwhile I had adopted three more cats, who were about half Dusty's age but almost the same size. Two boys (a tuxedo and one who I think was orange and white) and a girl (who was grey tabby like Dusty but her fur was mostly a lighter color). And I finally got back to my apartment to rest and Dusty was teaching the new girl kitty how to hide under the bed.

I had an odd dream about Star Fox. I got a new Star Fox game for the Wii that seemed like a sequel to Star Fox Adventures, except you could play as, along with Fox, Falco, Krystal, and even Peppy. I started playing and promptly found myself in the game. I kept flipping back and forth between being Krystal and Fox Mcloud as me and the rest of the team flew in Arwings to infiltrate a space hotel for some reason. They forgot to let me in so I wound up stuck outside running out of air until I put a large inflatable tube against the side of the ship which enabled me to somehow phase through it inside. I caught up with the rest of the team and we sat down to watch the news for the rest of the dream.

Later I had another dream where I took a very long trek through a mountain range (can't remember if I was myself or if I was still either Fox or Krystal) on a mountain trail, meeting all sorts of people along the way (I know I saw a lot of people, but I can only remember seeing Beavis And Butthead) before I wound up at a vacation resort full of kids. I accidentally hurt one kid and a tornado nearly hit us while I was there. I woke up not long after.

A nonexistent season 5 episode of MLP, apparently. Some highlights:

• Fluttershy and Rarity shrink (and undergo what can be best described as mitosis). Pinkie offers to hide them in her mouth.
• This plot is immediately abandoned as the view shifts to Applejack and co. in a big fancy house. Applejack mentions that Cherry Jubilee is letting her stay in her mansion that she apparently has in exchange for something I can't remember.
• Two monstrous entreprenuers mention that their "dumb oil wells" have dried up and that they've had to switch to their "idiotic" ones, because of...
• ...the Flying Dutchman. (?) Here begins a Gainax Ending: Twilight Sparkle, animated in David Feiss's style, flies into space to talk to the Dutchman on an asteroid (??) about what he's doing, only to discover that he dried up the dumb wells to help Equestria in some way. "I just want to be good," he laments. Twilight has no response.
  A long zoom-out, apparently a shout-out to some science fiction movie, takes us past the sun and through several photographs (literally?) of the galaxy before the view abruptly changes to several traditionally-animated teenagers in the Doug art style spewing Totally Radical slang on a basketball court. (???????????)
• Abrupt cut to an episode of Family Guy. Chris farts as he walks past Stewie. "What the fuck!" the baby says indignantly.

edited 29th Jul '14 3:39:40 PM by Midna

Dairy Queen sold meat Blizzards (a bacon Blizzard, a tongue Blizzard, a meat lover's Blizzard, etc.) and I was trying to look at naked girls in their bathroom.

M Mm, a bacon Blizzard.

My brother found a picture of me as a kid on Santa's lap and used this as a justification to never speak to me again.

WTF, dream me.

One night, I dreamed that I was dating a Mii. Not even one I have on my system^note (or at least, I didn't at the time. I recreated her afterwards.) She had a balding head, sparkling eyes, a wide-open mouth, and no nose. And as the dream went on, she started looking less and less like a Mii and more like a human... though still keeping the same face.

The next night, I dreamed a still picture of a cabbage on a black background for several hours. That's it.

edited 30th Jul '14 9:50:12 AM by BaffleBlend

I was playing something that was supposedly Final Fantasy VIII, but in my mind was more like a cross of FFX and Skyrim despite not actually resembling any of those games much at all (except I think it had FFVIII's main characters). At one point the party was in some kind of large mobile building/vehicle going down a highway on a huge open plain. It was overcast and getting ready to storm in the direction they were coming from and for some reason I knew that later on in the game they would have to fight the thunderstorm as a boss. For some reason they got out of the building/vehicle and went back down the road the way they came, and arrived in my city. It was still cloudy but not raining hard. There was some kind of weird stuff going on but I can't think of how to describe it.

My family and I found out that our cat was going to grow to the size of a semi truck and eat us unless we brought it 21 pounds of meat within a certain time limit.

edited 30th Jul '14 4:13:16 PM by Mort08

A Groin Attack on some guy with spiked brass knuckles that came at me right out of nowhere.

While I have been dealing with some repressed anger issues as of late, I have no clue what that was about.

First off, I dreamed that they were filming a new Guardians Of The Galaxy movie at my house, but when I went in my house to get something, I was suddenly in a warehouse where they were filming a new Thomas The Tank Engine movie instead. Curiously, those who were told to play train characters were told to get on little mine carts in a nearby room and when they got on, they shot down a track, turned into Gordon, James, Percy and other engines and shot down a tunnel that went straight to the Isle of Sodor. I tried to go with them, but I fell out of the cart before anything could happen.

After a lunch of Pizza Hut pizza and Kentucky Fried Chicken, I took the director to the mysterious train tracks and told him that it wasn't working. He told me that I just needed to run down the tracks to our right if I wanted to play as an engine. (There were tracks on the left for people playing humans.) I got on them and ran as fast as I could and before I knew it, I was Thomas going down a track on Sodor on a snowy day. I met up with the other engines, geeking out all thewhile, who told me that Sir Topham Hatt was acting strange and they wanted to find out...and then I woke up.

edited 3rd Aug '14 6:34:24 AM by kablammin45

I had a dream where I was magically transported to some Crap Saccahrine World dystopia in another dimension while I was in the bath. Emotions weren't allowed or something. and then I met some kid on a bus who also remembered being from our world and I figured that out because he knew what Mario bros was. Then I woke up.

I dream that I was lost in a large school campus. It's larger than Berkeley for reference. I don't know where my next class is located at, only have a vague memory of it being a rock dome located near a train track and the room number being "F3". F building have rooms numbered from 1-2, and 5-31. I ran, then the bell ring. The room wasn't there. I realize it is off the coastal area and then I ran faster. I didn't make it in time, and so does many others. The teacher chastise us outside in the cold weather. Then the class was over. In the next class the room number is "Nine-9", and it is somewhere with camp fire. In the area immediately outside the rock dome I asked a teacher the location of this "Nine" building. She didn't know. I was lost again. I ran toward a forest. I met a group with my friends trying to find the same class. Then I woke up.

The nights I don't get much sleep are the nights/mornings where I tend to remember my dreams.

So, before I forget, here they both are.

First dream: I have to repeat fifth grade for some reason. Why fifth? In real life, it was third grade I skipped at the end due to behavior problems which had me transferred to a "special" school for the summer, so I can at least understand the "have to repeat third grade" dream I had once.

Anyway, all I can remember of the dream is things like finally sitting down at my desk, seeing the schoolwork, and realizing "I can ace this easily" and just wanting to leave. Also, realizing that I can get up and leave whenever I want to, though I forget the reason. Eventually, we end up on a field trip for some reason.

The second dream I remember more of. I'm walking through the neighborhood, and these two random girls, who are like 7 or 8 or so, start talking and say that they're lost, so I offer to let them borrow my cell phone so they can call home and get picked up.

Then the dream suddenly changes scene to, for some reason, me driving them around, and I keep thinking of ways to get them to call home. I ask them if they want to call 911, and they say no, it's not really an emergency. And I tell them that yes, it is; they're lost after all, but they still refuse. So I think of having them call their parents, or me calling their parents. I imagine (within the dream, I imagine this) myself calling their parents and their parents freaking out as I say that their kids are lost and please pick them up. Then I realize that, somehow, an hour has passed (again, in the dream, as time works differently in dreams). I reach a gas station, and I become afraid that if I call their parents and say "By the way, I have your kids," I'd be mistaken for a kidnapper, even though I'm trying to return them instead. And I get afraid of all the ways this can go wrong.

Yeah, those are my two weird dreams I had this morning. WTF?