Foil the above poster's eeeevil plan.

I pulled the plug.

I'm going to swap the artist of Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans into Ume Aoki and turn it into a show about little girls piloting mobile suits, killing each other and dying in despair.

edited 27th Feb '17 11:26:51 PM by Mhazard

I secretly get a job as an artist for the show and make it happier... and maybe also add some Author Appeal.

I'm going to put my mind into the body of a Killer Robot!

But... transhumanist technology hasn't been that advanced...

Anyway you couldn't afford to do such a thing, so there's not a thing I can do.

I plan to travel back to a period before 2015 and make sure every restaurant in the world except Amy's Baking Company closes down!

I traveled further back at least one month and shut down Amy's and now you have no restaurant to go to!

I'm going to track mud through the house.

I'm going to remove your legs and replace them with metal stumps.

Not that you'll be able to walk with them! :D

I'm going to gain as much L.O.V.E as possible!

you're gonna have a bad time.

I'm going to replace every file on your computer with documents containing the entire Bee Movie script.

I instead reverse it so your files are replaced, with an added twist: Instead of Bee Movie, it's Makkhi.

I plan to replace all the food in the world with Brussels sprouts.

All the existing food may have been replaced, but the means to make other types of food has not. So while we may now have a vast surplus of brussels sprouts, there's nothing to stop us from just growing/making other types of food; and they'll be pressured into doing so at a faster rate than before due to dietary concerns, since you can't live solely on sprouts.

I shall now go into a movie theatre and eat sweets with excessively noisy wrappers, thus ruining the movie for everyone!

edited 28th Feb '17 6:09:34 PM by PresidentStalkeyes

Too bad the theatre you went in gave everyone headphones to listen directly to the movie without hearing external noises.

I'm going to form a Ghost Busting agency that busts ghosts...

... And is a front for a money laundering scheme!

I unleash an army of ghosts that is too strong for your ghost busting.

But I'm not using that as my plan. That's ridiculous!

...I'm going to unleash a bunch of vampires.

edited 28th Feb '17 8:39:53 PM by DrNoPuma

I'm gonna "accidentally" leave some garlic bread lying around.

I'm gonna create another season of The Nutshack!

I throw you in the deepest, darkest hole I can find. No one that evil should be allowed to roam free.

I plan to open a portal to another dimension in order to cultivate baby hands.

The instructions to build interdimensional portals are safely hidden in the Deep Web, and you neither have Tor nor the money to build the portal in the first place.

I plan to teach your kids how to play Manhunt!

Too bad I'm a hippie now and we don't play games. So it's a moot point.

I'm going to smoke a bong.

I will call da POLIIIIIICE!

I will build a machine that makes your dreams literally come true. But only your darkest, scariest ones.

edited 1st Mar '17 3:37:30 AM by DrNoPuma

I do nothing.

Several days later, when you come to my door broken down and screaming, along with everyone on the planet, attempting to MAKE THEM STOP, I'll just chuckle and cower in my basement. You brought this on yourself!

I'm going to walk on the grass!

And I'm going to kick a can!

And I'm going to spray pant polite compliments!

Muahhahaha!

I'll make sure you get arrested for your graffiti.

I will sit down at a coffee shop and do nothing out of the ordinary because I know the evil plan the good guys think I'm up to is better than what is in the works.

There's this little thing called a Xanatos Gambit and you just walked right into one.

edited 1st Mar '17 12:02:44 PM by kouta

I buy out all the coffee so the store shuts down.

I plan to convince Michael Bay to start directing all your favorite movie series!

HA! My favorite movie series has been dead since Part 2!

I'm gonna stab you in the knee.

Have fun. All but one of my knee ligaments has been surgically repaired. Enjoy the expensive lawsuit.

I'm going to flip off a kitten.

You are arrested... for copyright infringement◊.

I'm going to combine every trope on the Subverted Innocence page into one cute-but-terrifying abomination!

I befriend it, being the Nightmare Fetishist I am.

Then I plan to scar some kids for life with its help!

Too late, today's generation is really, really jaded.

The abomination, now with no purpose, begins to become depressed, and regularly cries itself to sleep.

Enjoy being chased by a vengeful Puma.

...While I attempt to hollow out the Earth, to create my own Gem army!

edited 3rd Mar '17 6:11:12 AM by RandomWriter413

I read you some cringeworthy fanfic I made of you and the abomination.

I'm going to blow up the Enterprise!

Security catches you attempting to sneak on board the decomissioned aircraft carrier.

I will outlaw the use of salt in school lunches.