Web Animation / The Gentleman Pirate

"The great pirate Stede fears no fleet, nor a puny vessel that dareth approach me!"

—Stede Bonnet, The Gentleman Pirate

The Gentleman Pirate is an animated docu-comedy produced by Internet Historian and uploaded on his second channel, Incognito Mode. It’s the eighth edition of Internet Historian’s Sundance Rejects, and with a running time of one hour and sixteen minutes is currently the longest single video produced under his name.

The video tells the true story of early eighteenth-century Barbadian Stede Bonnet (Ordinary Things), a man who had an early mid-life crisis and decided to go a-pirating. When his wedded life leaves him miserable, Bonnet decides to take to the seas with his own ship and crew despite his inexperience. On his journeys, he meets infamous pirate Blackbeard, who Bonnet appoints as a temporary shadow captain. But when Bonnet’s crew grows to favor Blackbeard’s leadership, the Gentleman Pirate soon realizes pirating isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

The video was teased at the end of "TheVarus Strakes Buck", posted in August 2020. A trailer was posted a month later. It debuted on YouTube in November 2020.

It primarily stars the voices of Ordinary Things, Internet Historian, and SumitoMedia. The video is heavily stylized with Internet Historian’s Creator Thumbprint, utilizing Limited Animation, crudely edited stock photos, and outsourced media. The Gentleman Pirate includes backgrounds and models from, but not limited to, Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Game of Thrones.

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The Gentleman Pirate contains examples of:

• Accent Upon The Wrong Syllable: For a good while throughout the story, Bonnet inverts the typical emphasis order of Blackbeard's name, which accentuates his dangerous lack of savvy in dealing with the more hardened pirate.
• Adaptational Alternate Ending: Combined with Revised Ending and Surprisingly Happy Ending, Internet Historian presents the historically accurate Downer Ending, then presents his own fictionalized Happy Ending.
• Adaptational Comic Relief: David Herriot is given this treatment.
• Anachronism Stew: Downplayed as it’s usually limited to one-off gags and jokes. Most notably, the use of photographs (some colored, but mostly black-and-white) more than a century before the first successful photo.
• Artistic License – History: A few instances, not including fictionalized characterization.
  • There’s no sources that state Allamby Bonnet was wheelchair-bound. He also didn’t die via rolling off a cliff into a river. In fact, Allamby was at most 2 at the time of his death, not the child shown in the video, but reality is much less funny.
  • During Blackbeard's "The Reason You Suck" Speech towards Bonnet, he claims "not all of us had rich parents who could send us to school to learn to read or write". By most accounts, Blackbeard was literate just like Bonnet and thus some speculate he might have come from a privileged background himself.
  • According to Ignatius Pell’s testimony, the quartermaster, named Robert Tucker, wasn’t killed in the Battle of Cape Fear, but was captured with Bonnet's crew and hanged in November 1718. If Pell's word can be taken at face value, this would be a case of Dies Differently in Adaptation.
  • Lampshaded in this piece of dialogue:
    Stede Bonnet: (after re-encountering the son of a bank teller he let get robbed at the beginning of the video) Wait, wasn't that in Barbados? How did you get here?
    Bank Teller's son: Whatever, Bonnet. It's a mostly true story! We just conflated a few of the details to keep the audience engaged.
• Artistic License – Pharmacology: Of course, anti-rope neck cream is not a thing.
• Awful Wedded Life: The basis of Stede's turn to piracy was largely through taking all his wife's yells of "STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDE!" attributed to the debts and various troubles on his farmstead.
• Bait-and-Switch: It seemed that Governor Johnson would grant the pardon to Stede when his letter got to gallows just in time... only for it to be an explicit approval of the execution order. Given historical contexts, it's a Foregone Conclusion.
• Better to Die than Be Killed: Stede attempts to blow up the Royal James instead of surrendering and being taken prisoner. This is interrupted by Ignatius Pell.
• Big "NO!": Three instances:
  • When Bonnet says he's done mopping, the crew says "I think you missed a spot" and dumps water all over the deck while laughing. He exclaims "Noooo!"
  • When the quartermaster says his final words and dies in his arms, Bonnet yells "NOOOO!" to the sky.
  • When David Herriot is lethally shot by authorities, Bonnet screams a long and drawn out "NOOOOOOOOO!" complete with slow motion.
• Blunt "No":
  Blackbeard: You know how, like, we're really good buddies? We've been through a lot?
  Stede Bonnet: [Beat] No.
• Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: The inexperienced Stede Bonnet asks the quartermaster what the pirates do in their spare time when told that the voyage would take weeks.
  Quartermaster: Oh, there's plenty to do. Sing shanties, tie knots, get scurvy…
• But Now I Must Go: Played for Laughs. The spirit/ghost of Stede's father appears in the moon to speak before him. Bonnet asks for guidance. His father abruptly says "I must go now" and spouts some stock words of wisdom and gives no actual advice, then promptly leaves.
• Comic-Book Fantasy Casting: Mary Allamby is portrayed by Selmacashmoney, but isn't voiced by her.
• Comically Inept Healing:
  Stede Bonnet: [holding the upper half of Quartermaster’s body, blood and organs pouring all over the deck] Hold on! I’ll just push it all back in!
• Crashing Dreams: The seagulls in Stede's dream begin chanting "Bonnet! Bonnet! Bonnet!" only for Stede to wake up and realize it's his wife screaming at him to wake up.
• Didn't Think This Through: Bonnet leaves his family, commissions a whole ship to be built, and gathers a crew... only to realize he has no idea how to captain a pirate ship once he's out at sea.
• Dream Sequence: After wishing he was a pirate, Stede Bonnet has a semi-nonsensical dream that begins on a flying pirate ship. He flies up into the ocean and becomes a mermaid. Talking seagulls begin cheering his name.
• Dreaming of Things to Come: Bonnet dreams of himself as a pirate captain. At the end of the dream, seagulls begin chanting "Captain Bonnet! Bonnet! Bonnet!" Later, Bonnet's crew does end up chanting "Bonnet! Bonnet!" but Stede interrupts them.
• Dress-Coded for Your Convenience: Bonnet's crew dresses in blue stripes while Blackbeard's crew dresses in black stripes.
• Establishing Character Moment:
  • Mary Allamby's first line establishes how she feels about her husband and what's she's most concerned about.
  Stede Bonnet: Mary, could you pass the syrup?
  Mary Allamby: You can have syrup when you fix up this house!
  • Stede's first plundering shows how unready he is for life at sea, panicking at the sight of a ship and shouting vaguely-nautical-sounding jargon, looking like a fool among his crew. The quartermaster distracts Bonnet so he could instruct the men and do most of the captaining work, informing the audience he's the Hyper-Competent Sidekick.
• Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": The quartermaster is only referred to as "Quartermaster" throughout the film, even in the credits. When his title changes to one-eighthmaster, he's referred to as such by the other characters and the Narrator.
• Foe Romance Subtext: Johnson carves wooden figures and kisses posters of Stede during his "private time." He even goes on to call him a "handsome bastard" and "lovable rascal."
• Freeze-Frame Bonus: The small boat Bonnet and Herriot use to escape the prison is named the Revenge Two. When pausing to see the boat, the full name reads the Revenge Two (Now It's Personal).
• Freudian Trio:
  • Id: Stede Bonnet — impulsive and emotion-driven
  • Ego: Ignatius Pell — the balance between rational and emotional
  • Superego: Quartermaster — the voice of reason, always calm, cautious, and more experienced
• GIS Syndrome: Rampant throughout the video, as per usual in Internet Historian videos.
• Great Escape: Bonnet and Herriot devise a plan to escape from the home of Town Marshal Nathaniel Partridge. They succeed and set sail on a small boat, but bad winds force them to Sullivan's Island.
• Hairstyle Inertia: Played for laughs. Stede always has a full head of hair and a beard, even during his childhood and his birth.
• Hat Damage: Bonnet shoots the quartermaster's hat off.
• Hell Is That Noise: Mary Allamby’s “STEEEEEEEEEEEEDE!” and "DAVID!"
• Hero of Another Story: Blackbeard. He's been pirating longer than Stede and has earned himself a gnarly reputation. After splitting ways with Bonnet, he went on his own adventures, eventually ending up dying at the hands of British soldiers, only after a ferocious and bloody battle.
• High-Pressure Blood: The quartermaster gets cut in half by a cannonball. In a desperate attempt to help, Stede Bonnet flips his body upside down, only for his blood and entrails to comically erupt like a fountain, resulting in a large portion of the deck being covered in the quartermaster's blood.
• Hilarious Outtakes: A blooper reel plays over the Closing Credits (in this case, Patreon outro).
• Hollywood Costuming: Zig-zagged. The film contains inaccurate pirate and military costumes, but none of the "costumes" were designed for the film. A number of characters are actually Halloween costume models.
• How We Got Here: The Gentleman Pirate opens on Bonnet's day of execution before flashing back 30 years prior to when Stede was born.
• Improperly Placed Firearms: Played for Laughs in the alternate good ending as AR-15s were definitely not around in 1718, let alone something Bonnet would find whilst pirating.
• Ink-Suit Actor: Stede Bonnet and Ignatius Pell are represented by the real-life faces of their voice actors.
• Instantly Proven Wrong:
  • Crushing under debts and with the farmstead in desperate need of repair, Bonnet solemnly says:
  Stede Bonnet: Well, at least it can't get any worse.
  Narrator: But two weeks later, it did get much worse.
  • There's also this moment:
  Stede Bonnet: [to audience] And now we're about to plunder our first vessel since Blackbeard left and we're just so excited. It's going to go very well.
  Narrator: But it didn't go very well at all.
• In Vino Veritas: When drunk, Stede opens up and reveals to Blackbeard that he's in a lot of pain but can't let his crew see him weak.
• It Has Been an Honor: The quartermaster says a variant of this right before he dies in the Battle of Cape Fear River.
  Quartermaster: It has been a pleasure serving you, Mr. Bonnet.
• I Warned You: The quartermaster warns Bonnet about Blackbeard early on. When Bonnet’s crew is left marooned on a sandbar, the quartermaster says to them, “Well, that’s what we get for trusting Blackbeard, ey men?”
• Just in Time: Despite some squabbling between him and the bank teller's son, Pell ends up getting Johnson's letter to Bonnet moments before he was to be executed. Sadly, that wasn't enough to save him.
• Kick the Dog:
  • In a fit of rage, Mary Allamby throws out the miniature pirate ship that Stede's had since childhood. It accidentally causes the death of their son, Allamby.
  • Blackbeard's crew, under the leadership of Lieutenant Richards, force Stede to mop. When he announces he's done, the crew says "I think you missed a spot" and dumps water all over the deck while laughing, forcing Stede to clean up again.
  • The bank teller's son teases Ignatius Pell with what he presumed to be Stede's pardon. Theoretically, if he wanted the pardon to not get to Stede, he could've just ripped it up, but he decided to be an ass about it.
• Lame Last Words: After being read Governor Johnson's letter wishing him good luck on the execution, Bonnet responds an awkward "Uh... thanks" before being hanged.
• Laser-Guided Karma: Bonnet fails to get his revenge on Blackbeard, but it turns out that Blackbeard was killed during the period of time while Bonnet was in prison awaiting his execution.
• Let Me Tell You a Story: The quartermaster tells Stede Bonnet about his time on the Quintessential, the last ship he worked on. The story tells of a captain with bad luck who brings on a deputy. When the deputy proves effective, the crew attributes their prosperity to him, and they install him as the new captain. The anecdote ends with the the crew decapitating the old captain and throwing his head into the ocean and the new captain leaving the crew stranded on Nassau.
• Like Father, Like Son: Stede Bonnet the second dresses like a pirate just like his father.
• Limited Wardrobe: Almost all characters wear the same clothes throughout the film. The exception is Bonnet, who has pajamas and funeral wear. But most of the time, Bonnet is in his blue pirate clothes.
• Major Injury Underreaction: The quartermaster never raises his voice and speaks in a calm tone at all times; even when informing Stede Bonnet that an enemy cannonball had just cut him in half.
• Manly Tears: Stede cries into Pell's arms after an interrupted attempt to commit suicide via bomb.
• Meaningful Echo: The pirate that robs the bank early in the video threatens the bank teller with the line "Your money or your life!" Later, Stede uses the same line when plundering to show how he's become a more ruthless pirate.
• The Missus and the Ex: Stede Bonnet is visited by his ex-wife and her new husband, David Rycroft, while imprisoned. However, Rycroft's friendly attempts to speak to Stede are interrupted by Mary.
• My God, What Have I Done?: After ratting on Stede, Pell testified against him. Only when at the docket, he actually defended Bonnet's character and said that the quartermaster holds the decisions. The judge ignored it, saying that Pell said otherwise in writing and sentenced Bonnet to death anyways. Pell became distraught, and after catching wind of a letter from Governor Johnson, rushed to deliver it to the executioner before Bonnet would die in the gallows... only for the said letter to not be a pardon, but approval of the execution.
• "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer: Bonnet leaves his family for piracy with a custom ship. He names her the Revenge. A note reads “A bit on the nose, but the Revenge really was the name of the ship.”
• Off-into-the-Distance Ending: The alternate good ending includes Stede, his kids, and the quartermaster riding into the distance on a speedboat filled with gold.
• Overly Long Scream: "STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDE!"
• Paper-Thin Disguise: Bonnet's disguise as "Captain Thomas" did little to hide his identity from the public.
• Parent Never Came Back from the Store: A note mentions Bonnet pulled a "going out for a pack of smokes" on his family, although it isn't depicted in the film.^note In reality, he told his family he was going on a business trip overseas... and never came back.
• Parental Abandonment: Bonnet abandons his wife and 3 remaining children, leaving them all with his debts.
• Phrase Catcher: "Oh my God, [blank] is so hot right now!" depending on which pirate(s) is grabbing the public's attention.
• Plot Armor: Explicitly mentioned since Reality Is Unrealistic. When the authorities catch up to Stede Bonnet following his escape from prison, they kill one of his remaining companions and injure the other two, but manage to catch Stede himself completely unharmed. That's not even getting into his numerous Too Dumb to Live decisions that he inexplicably survived the fallout of to get to that point.
• Prayer Is a Last Resort: After writing a letter to Governor Johnson pleading for clemency and exhausting his last chance of freedom, Stede gets on his knees and prays.
• Pre-Mortem One-Liner: "Consider yourself... divorced."
• Present-Day Past: Upon hearing the news of Bonnet's escape from jail, Governor Johnson exclaims "This dude is absolutely canceled!" Slang which did not exist in 1718.
• Protagonist Title: The Gentleman Pirate, the nickname of Stede Bonnet.
• Public Execution: Stede is sentenced to the gallows due to acts of piracy against the British Crown.
• Pun: Stede initially names his ship The Backstreet Buoys
• "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Four instances; all directed at Bonnet, go figure.
  • Just before taking Stede hostage in Nassau, Blackbeard gives one, decrying Stede's choosing to be a pirate while under a privileged background, unaware that Stede turned to piracy due to heavy debt and family trouble.
  • Combined with possibly the most comedic example of O.O.C. Is Serious Business ever put to film, the quartermaster gives one just before Stede decides (unwisely) to engage in the Battle of Cape Fear River.
    Quartermaster: Captain, I don't want to have to break this moment but I'm gonna need you to trust me, I've had your back since day one and we've been on a lot of adventures together now and I know you don't listen to my advice too often, but to be fair, Stede... oh my god, you get everything wrong, how did you— how can you do this? (breaking composure out of sheer absurdity) Every time! You just fuck shit up! (laughs) You dumb— You dumb boy!
  • It's said that Judge Nicholas Trott gave one to Bonnet in court, chastising him on his privileged upbringing and the stupidity of throwing it all away.
  • While awaiting his execution, Mary Allamby visits Stede to catch up and gloat. She talks about how Stede made her and her children's life a misery, and how her new husband, David Rycroft, fixed everything Bonnet couldn't. She ends her speech by telling Bonnet his children hate him and that she hopes he's dead soon.
• Red Herring:
  • It's heavily hinted that Blackbeard is going to take advantage of Bonnet bringing him on as a shadow captain to take over Bonnet's ship and crew. As soon as the crew take over a ship that's more impressive than The Revenge, Blackbeard takes control of it, hands control of Bonnet's ship and crew back to him, and the two promptly part ways. Blackbeard does take control of Bonnet's ship and crew later, but only after said crew had already abandoned Bonnet due to his being unable to match Blackbeard's success.
  • Later, King George of England passed "The Act of Grace", which promised a full pardon and a possible position as a privateer to pirates who turned themselves in. It's hinted that this is likely to be a trick, and Bonnet is portrayed as naive for letting Blackbeard talk him into accepting the offer. It turns out to be completely legitimate. Except that Blackbeard stole all of the valuables from Bonnet's ship and marooned his crew while he was occupied, forcing Bonnet to continue pillaging in defiance of his side of the agreement in order to resupply.
• Saying Sound Effects Out Loud:
  • Bonnet's big "Gasp!"
  • Bonnet says "pew, pew, pew" as he guns down his enemies in the alternate good ending.
• Scylla and Charybdis: Bonnet is forced to choose between the quartermaster’s suggestion to gamble on one more victory and Pell’s suggestion to dock. Failure of the former might result in a violent mutiny, while the latter will result in Bonnet’s crew abandoning him.
• Series Continuity Error: When returning to Topsail Island, Bonnet calls the (at the time) one-eighthmaster "Quartermaster". Then a few scenes later goes back to calling him "Eighthmaster". Then before the Battle of Cape Fear River, Bonnet calls the him "Quartermaster" and it’s treated like a heartwarming moment, complete a Wink "Ding!", as if it was the first time Bonnet had called him "Quartermaster" since he was demoted.
• Shoot the Rope: In Internet Historian's alternate ending, Bonnet escapes his faith by putting on "anti-rope neck cream" and shooting his noose with an AR-15.
• Shout-Out:
  • References to other works by Internet Historian:
    • Bonnet’s dead father comes to speak to Stede. As he's fading away, he says “I’m going through a tunnel" and abruptly leaves. This is a reference to how Internet Historian occasionally ends his In the Field videos.^note The trailer posted in September 2020 states that The Gentleman Pirate had been in production for 6 months at that point. This possibly means it was in production since March 2020. The first instance of the “I’m going through a tunnel” ending was in “art.” posted in March 2020. There’s a probability that the In the Field endings were actually Production Foreshadowing for The Gentleman Pirate, rather than the other way around.
    • The “old man” in "The Swedish Job" appears briefly. His hook hand nicks Bonnet’s contract the same way he nicks the map in "The Swedish Job".
    • Two of the paintings stolen in "The Swedish Job" are featured in the backgrounds. One on Bonnet's ship and one in the bank teller's office.
    • From the deleted lyrics to The Captain Montage, a lyric says “Oh look, a friendly bee!” The same line Honey Man uses in "Exploring the Japanese Kitkat Forest". Which, in and of itself, is a Simpsons reference.
  • References to other media:
    • “I missed the part where that’s my problem” comes from Spider-Man.
    • The scene where Governor Johnson is caught talking to his Stede Bonnet wooden doll is a reference to Spaceballs.
    • "The Salty Spitoon" is a reference to Spongebob Squarepants.
    • Allamby Bonnet's death scene is a clip from Mac and Me.
  • Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag
    • The model for Blackbeard is AC Blackbeard.
    • The model for Benjamin Hornigold is AC Benjamin Hornigold.
    • The model for Nathaniel Patridge is, ironically, AC Stede Bonnet.
  • Pirates of the Caribbean
    • The pirate who robs the bank in the beginning is depicted as Jack Sparrow.
    • The model for David Herriot is Ragetti.
    • When the quartermaster tells Bonnet about his time on the Quintessential, the pictures used to portray his story are edited stills from Pirates of the Caribbean.
• Skyward Scream: Played straight when the quartermaster dies in Bonnet's arms.
• Spared by the Adaptation: The Sundance Rejects episode did give Bonnet the quick drop and sudden stop... only to survive it to give him a more upbeat ending. Same goes for the quartermaster and Allamby Bonnet.
• Spirit Advisor: Parodied. Stede's dead father comes to him at a time of hardship, but gives no useful advice.
• Staircase Tumble: Stede's father trips over a miniature pirate ship and falls down the stairs to his death.
• Sudden Downer Ending: A large struggle takes place to get the governor's letter to Bonnet's execution but it turns out that said letter didn't actually call for a stop to said execution, and Bonnet is promptly hanged. Lampshaded with the below Surprisingly Happy Ending entry below.
• Surprisingly Happy Ending: Played for Laughs after Internet Historian sadly notes that in reality, Bonnet was hung for piracy anyway after the Hope Spot of a supposed pardon from the governor. So to alleviate it, Internet Historian comes up with a new ending where Bonnet escapes from his execution, guns down his enemies and ex-wife, reunites with his estranged children who forgave him for abandoning them, and sails off on a speedboat filled with gold into the horizon with them and the quartermaster who is inexplicably alive again. And they lived Happily Ever After.
• Talk Like a Pirate: The pirate accent slips in and out between characters, but it's most prominent in Lieutenant Richards and Blackbeard.
• Team Hand-Stack: Between Pell, the quartermaster, Bonnet, and Herriot.
• That Makes Me Feel Angry:
  David Herriot: [crying] Oh, I feel sad, innit.
• This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: "Eat lead, bitches!"
• Time-Passes Montage: A montage shows Stede's slow degrading state as he listens to his wife screaming "STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDE!"
• Took a Level in Badass: Bonnet became a more ruthless and efficient pirate after being double-crossed by Blackbeard.
• Training Montage: A montage shows the quartermaster training Bonnet to be a proper pirate captain.
• Verbal Tic: Almost all of David Herriot's sentences end with "innit" no matter the situation.
• Very Loosely Based on a True Story: The film is pretty accurate to what really happened. But it's explicitly mentioned that embellishments had been made to characters and dialogue and that the timeline was edited for the story to flow better.
• Villainous Crush: Governor Johnson is obsessed with Stede. A bit too obsessed. As in wanting to throw the book at him yet kissing his images in private.
• What Happened to the Mouse?: Benjamin Hornigold is mentioned once and never brought up again due to being Adapted Out since his life only briefly overlapped with Bonnet's.
• When He Smiles: The quartermaster is usually stoic and calm. But when Bonnet finally calls him "Quartermaster" after being called one-eighthmaster for the past few months, he responds a flustered "Quartermaster?!", Bonnet gives him a Wink "Ding!", and the quartermaster responds with a faint and brief hearty smile.
• Word Salad Lyrics: What can most accurately describe the extended "Captain Montage".

Read the history,
about my life at sea,
(Don't mention slavery)
Oh look a friendly bee
Scurvy on my dick
Wenches on the deck
Sails to the starboard now’s the time to get some plunder.