Recap / Film Reroll: Time Bandits

It's the fight of the century... well, one of them at least.^note Art by nessanessajoy

A wild Time Bandits appears! Joz babybjorns a head! Andy jumps off an obelisk! Kara finds out she doesn’t rule Ireland!

Episodes 65, 67, 79, and 113- of Film Reroll. Based on the 1981 fantasy movie.

Kevin is a fairly normal 11-year old boy with an equally normal life. That is, until he is visited by a group of renegade dwarwes on the run from ”The Supreme Being”. Before he knows is, Kevin is whisked away on a journey through space and time. A journey going all the way from the Napoleonic era to the very end of the universe.

This campaign is somewhat notorious for being the only one in the Film Reroll catalogue left unfinished, with several other movies being covered after leaving this one on a major cliffhanger (but as of March 2022, they have reassured the audience that it isn't abandoned).

Starring Jocelyn "Joz" Vammer as Kevin, Kara Strait^note  Credited as “Pitr Strait” for episodes 1-3 as Randall, Andy Hoover as Strutter, and Paulo Quiros as the Dungeon Master.

Intercepted by Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day... and a few other ones. ^note Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Practical Magic, Adventure Time, Blade Runner, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Princess Bride, The Rock, A Quiet Place, Ocean's Eleven, Toy Story, Memento, The Searchers, Halloween 3, Aliens, Last Action Hero, The Mighty Ducks, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze, Hocus Pocus, Rouge Two, Clue, Galaxy Quest, It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, A Charlie Brown Christmas, The Fifth Element and so on.

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Tropes:

• A Child Shall Lead Them: Napoleon appoints Kevin as the Mayor of Castiglione [delle Stiviere]. His obvious lack of experience leads to the destruction of two buildings.
• Affably Evil: In contrast to his quite hammy second-in-command, Genghis Khan is portrayed as a calm, very conversational man... who nevertheless leads an army of raiders, and considers sparing a town to be a great act of mercy.
• All Part of the Show: Napoleon believes that the Time Bandits intrusion on the puppet show was a part of the performance.
• Ambiguous Gender: The Rerollers are confused about the gender of their mysterious rescuer, who wears an all-concealing cloak and doesn't speak at first. However, Paulo's narration eventually makes it clear that the character is male.
• And a Diet Coke: Kevin decides to pair a ton of unhealthy snacks with... a bottle of water.
• Angel Unaware: It's not clear just what the mysterious rescuer even is at first, but then he removes his hood and reveals himself to be a blue-skinned seraph.
• Bad "Bad Acting": Played With. The American Rerollers playing the British Time Bandits pretending to be French Napoleon-era children is treated with as much Stylistic Suck as one would expect... but it actually manages to fool some people In-Universe.
• Bait-and-Switch: The fact that a fourth episode was posted on April 1st, 2022, one would initially assume it's a prank. It is a real episode.
• Batman Gambit: Strutter allows the Seraph to take the gold, hoping that he will lead them to an even greater treasure.
• The Beastmaster: Strutter claims that after he started feeding the baby eagles, he became not only their surrogate parent, but eventually the lord of all eagles.
• Been There, Shaped History: Strutter uses his knowledge of history to become one of the most accomplished thieves throughout it, becoming responsible for the disappearance of dozens of famous treasures and artifacts, which he keeps locked in his vault.
• Beethoven Was an Alien Spy: Subverted. Randall becomes convinced that that Hearst is an agent of the Supreme Being, and thus becomes even more eager to trap him in the vault, but there's no indication that his theory is correct.
• Big Damn Heroes: Our protagonists are saved from falling to their doom by the sudden appearance of Seraph.
• Bigfoot, Sasquatch, and Yeti: Our heroes meet (and are almost eaten by) a pack of Yetis in the snowy Alps.
• Brief Accent Imitation: Randall flips between bad French or Italian accents whenever he thinks they could be of use.
• Buried Alive: He's not actually dug down into the ground, but our "heroes" still trap Hearst in a coffin — with a skeleton still inside (!) — and lock him into Strutter's vault.
• The Bus Came Back:
  • Napoléon Bonaparte is back again, having last been seen playing the drums in Bill and Ted's band. (Though presumably, this story is set in an Alternate Continuity.)
  • On a meta level, Part 4 saw the campaign itself return after two years and 34 unrelated episodes, by far the largest gap in the show’s history. It was also Kara Strait’s first starring role on the podcast in seven months, and thus the first to credit her under her new name.
• Call-Back:
  • "I'm Margaret Thatcher, ya'll."
  • Kara Strait still points out that it's not gramatically accurate to say "legos".
• Cliffhanger:
  • The first episode ends with our heroes taking a Leap of Faith off the cliff where the portal is supposed to be, only to realise that they are two days too early...
  • This becomes an outright Running Gag in the second episode, where - having spent the two days climbing back up the mountain - the gang jumps into the now-present portal. However, not all of them make it, leading to two thirds of the players falling off the same cliff again!
  • The Running Gag continues in the third episode, where Kevin enters another portal and falls down into a dark void. He and his companions survive by landing on a soft, sandy beach.
  • Surprising no one, Part 4 also ends with Kevin falling, after losing his grip on the flying Baku.
• Clothes Make the Superman: Genghis Khan refuses to let Randall borrow his headress, as whoever wears it will be able to assume command of his army. This only makes Kara more determined to get it, calling out Paulo for including such tempting Schmuck Bait in the game.
• Climbing Climax: The 1931 segment ends with Strutter, Randall and Wally climbing the scaffolding around an obelisk to reach the next portal.
• Coming-Out Story: While she had already come out on social media the previous year, Part 4 (Episode 113) was the first time Kara Strait addressed it on the show. Also a mild Real Life case of Continuity Lockout, as her deliberately vague wording is bound to have initially confused some listeners not already in the know.
  Kara Strait: Hi, it’s me. It’s always been me and will always be me. We’re addressing it and also not addressing it. It’s fine and everything’s awful. I'm glad to be here. Hello. Hello... Did I do it? Am I trans now?
• Cowboy BeBop at His Computer: invoked While the group is discussing the time travel nature of the movie at the start of the campaign, Joz mistakenly assumes Quantum Leap was a British show.
  Andy: It was Dutch. I dare anyone to challenge me!
• Death by Adaptation: Needless to say, the real Hearst did not die after being trapped in a coffin in 1931. Though Kara makes a point out of mentioning that they didn’t technically kill him.
• Enemy Mine: Implied. The Seraph is a rogue angel who is also hunted by the Supreme Being, and he says that once he and Strutter find the treasure, their friendship will end.
• Exact Words: Paulo assures Joz that the less than trustworthy Baku isn’t planning on dumping Kevin into the ravine they’re passing over. That doesn’t mean that won’t accidentally drop him.
• Expecting Someone Taller: Inverted. Our protagonists tell Napoleon that they were expecting him to be shorter. Being dwarfs (and a young boy) Napoleon actually towers over them.
• Fake Brit: In-Universe. Strutter admits that he's only putting on his accent for Randall's sake... for some reason.
• Fantastic Racism: Randall hates Yetis, as one supposedly killed his father, (Even though he's a constructed being who likely never had parents in the first place.)
• Foreign Queasine: Kevin attempts to cook mac and cheese for dinner in Part 1, only to wind up burning it due to Joz failing her cooking roll by 1. Kara and Paulo then proceed to argue that the British would see this as fine dining.
  Kara: (British accent) Oh, I never thought of addin' salt on somethin'...
  Joz: Oh, we're gonna get so much flak from our English listeners...
  Kara: Oh, fuck you, your food sucks!
• Genius Loci: Kevin believes his house to be one after discovering a Time Portal in what he calls "a polite door."
• Giving Radio to the Romans: Randall ends up gifting Genghis Khan a gun after demonstrating its abilities. In return, the great Khan promises to spare the supposed home city of the Time Bandits.
• Historical Domain Character: Having left Switzerland, the Time Bandits end up at a high-class party in England, 1931, where Winston Churchill is holding a speech, Charlie Chaplin is ready to give him one of his famous bowler hats (which our protagonists — of course — try to steal) as a gift, and newspaper publisher William Randolph Hearst sees scoop potential in the supernatural events occuring.
• Hurricane of Puns: Paulo's comment about a "Heavy Metal door" leads to additional references to Iron Maiden and Led Zeppelin.
• I Meant to Do That: Randall, after getting kicked off the Mongol army’s horse, tries to play it off as just a fun comedy act.
• It May Help You on Your Quest: Before parting ways with Kevin, Scheherazade gives him a dagger, which she says can be used against monsters who are otherwise immune to weapons.
• Jumped at the Call: The Sage begs Kevin to bring him along to the castle, specifically because going there would spell certain doom.
• Kleptomaniac Hero: The Time Bandits themselves, very much so. Randall is particularly fond of hats. Even Fidget — an NPC — decides to steal Scheherazade‘s favorite book out of sheer curiosity.
• Kudzu Plot: Parodied: When Paulo is doing the introductions in Part 4, in response to Joz and Kara commenting on how long the campaign has been stretched out, Paulo cracks that every other campaign they have ran in the meanwhile is part of the narrative of this campaign.
  Paulo: All other campaigns are backstories for Time Bandits.
  Andy: Oh no!
  Kara: Well, that's canonically true at this point, isn't it?
• Lethal Chef: Downplayed: Kevin decides to make mac and cheese for dinner, but because Joz failed the cooking roll by one, he burns it.
• Nobody Poops: This seems to be an Averted Trope when the Time Bandits learn that the Seraph has taken a break for the toilet, but then it turns out that he actually killed everyone in there so he could open up another portal in private.
• Oracular Head: The Sage is a sentient, decapitated head resting on a pillar surrounded by books. He’s gone through a bit too much Sanity Slippage to be of any help though.
• Percussive Pickpocket: Randall manages to rob Winston Churchill in this manner after dancing with him, snatching his wallet and diary.
• A Rare Sentence: After Kevin mistakenly attempts to steal the hat of the Mayor of Castiglione, the two get into a back-and-forth struggle over it. When Joz doubles down on taking it, Paulo tells her to roll Strength:
  Paulo: Roll Strength against the Mayor. (dice clattering)
  Kara: “Roll Strength Against the Mayor” should be a shirt.
• Reality Warper:
  • Kevin unknowingly manages to save Strutter by dreaming up a friendly eagle whose nest he ends up landing in, basically confirming that the story is All Just a Dream.
  • Later, Kevin seemingly manages to dream a rope ladder into existance. Though there's still some ambiguity left, as DM Paulo Quiros also provides a somewhat plausible explanation for where this ladder would have come from.
• Refitted for Sequel: Sort of. Genghis Khan did not appear in the Bill and Ted campaign despite being in the film. Here, he gets to interact with another group of time travellers.
• Refusal of the Call: Strutter is at first reluctant to give up his luxurious lifestyle and return to adventuring, but Randall manages to convince him otherwise.
• The Roast: Strutter gets Winston Churchill to roast Sally — one of his guests — to create a distraction so that he can sneak away.
• Savage Wolves: Our heroes are attacked by these towards the end of the first episode.
• Separated by a Common Language: Exaggerated: After Joz expresses concern over Kara and Paulo shit-talking British cuisine, Andy excuses it by stating any British listeners won't understand.
  Andy: They don't even speak our language. They don't know what we're saying. (everyone else begins laughing) They don't speak American!
  Paulo: (near laughing) They don't speak the language!
• Shout-Out:
  • When encountering a figure clad in a white robe, the Rerollers discuss whether they're dealing with Gandalf or Galadriel.
  • invoked At the start of Part 4, after Paulo introduces Kara, and she proceeds to move swiftly past it (stating "[they're] addressing it and also not addressing it"), Andy cracks that she's paying tribute to "that famous scene from Iron Man 2, when Terrance Howard is just gone".
  • Scheherazade — the Sage’s golden-eyed assistant — is clearly named after The Storyteller of Arabian Nights.
• The Slow Path:
  • The portals can't be controlled, and our heroes have to patiently wait for the next one to open.
  • More drastically, Strutter is trapped in the past and only catches up with the rest of the Time Bandits by 1931. By that point, he has grown a long beard and become the owner of a fancy house, where he hosts a party for the highest members of society.
• Spotting the Thread: As Kara admits, the exact moment she realized where Kevin's group ended up at the end of Part 3 is when Paulo brought up the presence of a white-haired older man... wearing a long white coat.
• Suddenly Speaking: Ogg suddenly goes from being The Voiceless to talking about some ultimate treasure, and then — to the confusion of his fellow Time Bandits — seemingly not remembering any of it.
• Suicidal Overconfidence: The French troops decide to go after the Seraph once he steals some of their gold. They're later found dead in the snow, and it's implied that they didn't put up much of a fight.
• Take My Hand!: Kevin and Strutter end up in this situation, with Kevin holding onto the portal and Strutter desperately trying to climb up. He fails and seemingly falls to his doom, though this turns out to be a mere Disney Death.
• Take That!: The players speculate that Scheherazade‘s dangerous, toxic book which she can never read is actually Twilight. Kevin also comes across Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, which is apparently not actually poisonous, “just really disappointing and vapid.”
• Tastes Like Friendship: The Seraph uses cookies to lure one of the Time Bandits to him, and then proceeds to take the gut hostage.
• That Came Out Wrong: invoked After the scene of Kevin's mom catching him testing the walls, Paulo asks if they should go to the next scene now. The problem? Here is how he phrases it:
  Paulo: And that's... that's the afternoon, unless there's something you want to do in the evening, we can cut to bedtime?
• Throw It In!: Attempted In-Universe. When the idea that Kevin's closet might sing is brought up, Kara sings a song in-character as the closet. Paulo, however, refuses to make it canon.
• Time Crash: At the end of Part 3, Kevin’s group winds up at an "unstable" location that is frozen in time due to (as Fidget observes) holes being ripped in the fabric of space-time. What’s significant, though, is that this particular location is ingrained in the show’s own history...
• Unusually Uninteresting Sight:
  • While Kevin *is* at first startled to see a knight appear in his closet, he eventually starts considering that maybe that's just a normal part of life. His parents' nonchalant reaction to his story doesn't help...
  • None of the party guests in 1931 seem to care much that a portal opened in the middle of the room. Even Hearst — who at least acknowledges how unusual it is — doesn't seem nearly as surprised as you would expect. Nor does he seem to care that our protagonists are criminals.
• Wham Episode: Towards the end of Part 3 (Episode 79), Kevin, Fidget, Og, and Vermin wind up in a world that is completely frozen in time, with signs that the inhabitants were in the middle of a "fracas" prior to this. Of note is the presence of two women in a closet, an older white-haired man in a labcoat rushing towards them, and a young man with a red jacket over his head.
• Where It All Began: Variation: Towards the end of Part 3, via time portals, a portion of the Time Bandits crew wind up in the very first Film Reroll campaign following the Time Crash.
  Fidget: (uneasy) Rippin' holes... in the fabric of space-time is dangerous work. Unstable, this.
• You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!: This is Kara's nearly-verbatim response to Paulo asking if they can cut to bedtime.

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