Recap / Film Reroll: The Searchers

New Film Reroll is up! Our 100th episode!!!

Just a straight telling of the somber classic The Searchers! No shenanigans here!

I mean do I look like a guy who would do shenanigans?

— Paulo Quiros

Episode 100 of Film Reroll. Based on the 1956 Western... as well as the 2016 Golden Globes Best Musical or Comedy winner, a film where a man drives to synthwave music, a play in which nothing happens, twice, a fictitious heist in Venice (not to be confused with the similarly named fictitious heist in Turin), the Trope Namer for "Rashomon"-Style, a Disney film where the day is saved by a True Love's Kiss, and the heartbreaking story of a friendship between a modern-day Robinson Crusoe and a volleyball.

Okay, the title might be a bit misleading. This is really a Milestone Celebration for the podcast with something of a Variety Show format, alternating between three main segments: speedrolls, personal offerings, and highlights.

• The speedrolls follow the usual Film Reroll premise, with the difference that the plot is resolved with only 1-3 rolls at critical plot moments. They are very fatalistic, as they immediately determine whether or not the story has a Happy Ending or a Downer Ending. Each player present gets to play through their very own mini campaign.

• The personal offerings gives the players the opportunity to bring their own content to the table, ranging from scripted (and sometimes prerecorded) comedy to minigames for the whole cast to play. Again, every player gets their own segment here.

• Finally, the highlights simply has the players looking back at and reminiscing about stand-out moments throughout the show (voted in place by listeners) and giving their own thoughts and behind-the-scenes trivia about them.

Starring Jon Miller as Ethan Edwards, Andy Hoover as Houben, Carolyn Faye Kramer as Ryan Gosling, Kara Strait^note  credited as “Pitr Strait” as Estragon, Scott Aiello as Vladimir, Jocelyn "Joz" Vammer as Chuck Noland, Lisa Kopitsky as Charlie Croker, Timothy E. "Tim" Nolan as Carolyn Faye Kramer, Lane Moore as Jasmine and Paulo Quiros as the Dungeon Master.

Being for all intents and purposes a Bonus Scene, Joz’s Offering has its own page. Followed by Aliens.

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Tropes:

• Accidentally-Correct Writing: Despite the general weirdness of her sketch, Carolyn Faye Kramer actually managed to predict some things that wound up happening in the real episode, such as Kara Strait wearing Cool Shades. (The latter was quite freaked out after realizing that this in fact wasn’t a Throw It In! moment.)
• Ambiguous Situation: After the speedroll of The Martian, Kara describes Jon's reaction to the audience, mentioning him being "begrudgingly sullen" and having an adorably upset expression. Scott then counters that assessment, saying "Jon Miller has done nothing," and was just sitting silently.
  Kara: I think Jon Miller has done quite enough.
• A Million Is a Statistic: Brought up in regards to the Ocean’s Eleven and The Rock campaigns, where the players feel that the former is the sadder one despite the much lower body count, simply because there we get to know all the people affected by the tragedy. (It also helps that the disaster in The Rock was simply caused by bad luck, as opposed to a blind spot in the plan.)
• Anachronism Stew: Andy Hoover’s review — supposedly written in The '90s for a recently released (fictional) movie — describes Michelle Pfeiffer as an up-and-coming actress. In Real Life, she had already been a star for over a decade by that point.
• Astral Projection: Subverted. In her ”behind-the-scenes” segment, Carolyn — playing Kara — claims that the tall woman in the kitchen is "[her] body" before cracking up. It takes a while for her to calm down and clarify that she meant to say her (presumably fictional) bodyguard, Lumiere.
• The Bad Guy Wins: Played Straight with Sleeping Beauty. Possibly the case with Rashomon, though the film was purposfully vague on just how evil its various characters were or weren’t.
• Body Backup Drive: The Mockumentary Lost Down the Rage Chasm: A Pitr Strait Story claims that Kara Strait died very unexpectedly early on in the show, but has since been brought back hundreds of times by Paulo Quiros, who uses ”necrobothany” to grow clones in his rooftop garden. Some of these clones were supposedly murdered by Jon Miller and — at least in one case — Tim Nolan, whereas others simply exploded or spontaneously combusted, something which interviewee Scott Aiello credits partially to Clone Degeneration, partially to the donor being ”a white guy^note In-Universe, Kara may have become an Opposite-Sex Clone since. It has yet to be stated whether this has had any effect on her incineration rate, though it appears to have alleviated her hair loss, if nothing else. from the suburbs.”
• The Cameo: Lane Moore’s appearance is more or less, as she provides the singing voice for Princess Jasmine — played in the original episode by Andy Hoover — in a prerecorded musical number.
• Clip Show: The highlight sequences are essentially this, with the Rerollers commenting on their previous work in the style of an audio-only Reaction Video. The featured segments are:
  • Andy and Kara’s two-headed coroner.
  • The reveal of Jason Voorhees, as well as Carolyn Faye Kramer trying to expose his so-called “true identity.”
  • Kara Strait accidentally shooting the president.
  • Aladdin worrying that Jafar is trying to hit on him, only for the vizier to actually fall in love with the street rat. For this one, they watched a fan-made animatic.
  • The Cowardly Lion musing what may have happened to Dorothy and the Scarecrow. Here too, an animatic was shown.
• Cover Version: Paulo Quiros' offering is an orchestrated, "proper" Expository Theme Tune version of They Walk By Night. The episode also ends with him and Lane Moore performing a similar version of his rewritten A Whole New World cover.
• Creator's Favorite Episode: In-Universe, the Rerollers take time to name their favorite campaigns that they aren't in, at the request of a fan letter.
  • Andy Hoover’s is Pokémon: The First Movie.
  • Joz Vammer and Tim Nolan’s are both Jaws (specifically because of the aforementioned coroner scene, in the case of Joz.)
  • Jon Miller’s is Weekend at Bernie’s.
  • Scott Aiello’s is (the first episode of) Practical Magic.
  • Kara Strait’s is Thelma and Louise.
  • Carolyn Faye Kramer’s is The Rock.
  • Lisa Kopitsky’s is Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.
  • Paulo Quiros says that his favorite campaign is the Rashomon segment they just rerolled.
• Credits Gag: The rather curious cast list is entirely accurate to what the episode ends up being, but it also makes it pretty clear that this Milestone Celebration is really going to be a Vignette Episode. (Either that or some bizarre Massive Multiplayer Crossover.)
• Dark Reprise: While the original cover of A Whole New World from the Aladdin campaign had lyrics changed mostly to simply fit with the new scenario, the extended version sung here treats Jasmine becoming the ruler of Agrabah as her Start of Darkness, making it somewhat of a We Can Rule Together song.^Lyrics

  I could live in your world.
  Hold your hand while you build it.
  Tell me, President. For real did
  You want to build this world alone.
  I could fight by your side.
  Crush the filthy Habargans.
  Loose the cannons and war guns
  On our sister town below.
  
  A whole new world
  Took shape from your confusing wish.
  Wish we could take it back,
  It’s pretty wack,
  To rule the world by fiat.
  
  A whole new world.
  The whimsies of a prankster god.
  But now I’m way up here
  The new Ameer.
  I kinda like this whole new world, don’t you?
  (Now I’m in a whole new world with you.)
  
  Unbelievable mights.
  Indescribable power.
  From my people, I scoured
  Undesirables away.
  
  A whole new world.
  (Don’t you leave me behind.)
  A hundred thousand souls to rule.
  (That’s a lot, I can help you.)
  I’m like a brand new tsar.
  I’ve come so far.
  I can’t go back to where I used to be.
  (A whole new world.)
  Every brick of it mine.
  (Except Habarga to the sum.)
  In a moment I’ll get them.
  
  I’ll chase them anywhere.
  There’s time to spare.
  Let me share this whole new world with you.

• Decoy Protagonist: Ethan Edwards is introduced as the main character, but his story is quickly wrapped up by having him find his niece immediately with no apparant complications, after which Paulo Quiros introduces the rest of the cast and the real premise of the episode.
• Everyone Is Jesus in Purgatory: In-Universe, Kara Strait feels that Godot is an annoyingly obvious metaphor for God. Word of God (heh) claimed that the name similarity was a coincidence.
• Foreshadowing: A meta example, as this episode was recorded before Kara came out but released afterwards. She makes a one-off comment about recently seeing herself in a very different light, but never elaborates on this within the episode itself.
• In Spite of a Nail: Even though it's in the speedroll format, Godot doesn't show up.
• Instant-Win Condition: The speedrolls are essentially normal campaigns distilled down to their most pivotal moments, with only a couple of dice rolls — sometimes just one — needed to win. The crux is that they are just as easy to lose and grant you a Non-Standard Game Over. The films Rerolled here are:
  • The Searchers: Ethan Edwards (Jon Miller) searches for his lost niece and quickly finds her.
  • The Martian: Matt Damon (Andy Hoover) tries to survive on Mars, succeeds, and is eventually rescued. He then moves to Venice (not Venus) and starts a potato farm.
  • Drive (2011): Ryan Gosling (Carolyn Faye Kramer) fails to drive and proceeds to die. Bryan Cranston makes it out okay.
  • Waiting for Godot: Estragon (Kara Strait) and Vladimir (Scott Aiello) attempt rolling for Godot, who still never shows up.
  • The Italian Job (2003): Charlie Croker (Lisa Kopitsky) successfully carries out the remake version of the job. (Joz points out that she still prefers the original.)
  • Rashomon: Houben (Andy Hoover) questions four people about the events leading up to the death of a samurai. He concludes that the Bandit — Card-Carrying Villain that he is — murdered the man, which leads to him being sentenced to death. What Houben never learns is that the Woodcutter has stolen the (quite valuable) murder weapon, putting the reliability of his testimony into question.
  • Sleeping Beauty: Prince Philip (Paulo Quiros) fails to slay Maleficent in her dragon form and gets eaten. The beauty remains sleeping.
  • Cast Away: Chuck Noland (Joz Vammer) survives the plane crash and makes it to the deserted island, but dies shortly thereafter.
• Kick the Dog: Once Paulo announces Andy's going to be doing The Martian, Jon spends the entire speedroll upset and bitter.
  Jon: (distraught) Oh, you... No! You asshole!
• Mockumentary:
  • Carolyn Faye Kramer’s offering. It is basically a Real-Person Fic purporting to be behind-the-scenes audio, with Carolyn playing all of the present Rerollers herself live. To call it surreal would be an understatement.
  • Scott Aiello’s offering is a prerecorded mock interview where he expands on the previous claim that Kara Strait is actually a series of clones, revealing the gruesome ways some of them have died.
• Never My Fault: After everyone listens to the two-headed coroner bit, Jon pipes up that, even after all this time, he still thinks he was justified in wanting to arrest Alex Kitner's mom for slapping him.
• Never Live It Down: invoked After the "I know who it is" clip, it comes to light that Andy had severe trust issues for about a year after that campaign.
  Kara: (to Paulo) Did you anticipate Andy having a year long grudge against you?
  Joz: Oh my God, that was amazing!
  Kara: And occa- and occasionally, people tweeting to be like "Does Andy hate Paulo now?"
  • Andy then clarifies that he didn't have any animosity towards Paulo, but rather was increasingly paranoid about the true nature of certain campaigns.
• Old Shame: invoked Discussed: Among the "conspiracy theories" that Kara mentions having heard from the podcast's audience, one of them is that the unreleased episodes were actually good. The general reaction to her saying that proves it to not be the case.
• Outdated by Canon: While every episode featuring Kara Strait before she changed her name arguably counts as this somewhat, this one stands out for featuring multiple fictionalized versions of her only months beforehand. Also, while it was obviously recorded before she came out, it actually ended up being released afterwards. Scott’s pre-recorded segment dated the quickest, as it treats Kara being bald as a given. When it came time to record the main episode, this was no longer quite true.
• Parody Retcon: invoked Andy claims The Martian being nominated for Best Comedy/Musical at the 2016 Golden Globes makes more sense now having done the speedroll.
• Politically Incorrect Hero: Kara points out that John Wayne’s character from The Searchers was quite racist. This never really has time to factor into the gameplay.
• Riddle Me This: Timothy E. Nolan’s offering is three (out of supposedly forty-seven) riddles for the other players to solve, designed specifically as a form of ”revenge” for Paulo’s riddle game from Memento, simply because Tim failed to solve it. ^note  Yes, Tim did in fact make sure that the answers to all three riddles actually were various forms of bubbles.
  • The first riddle:
    "We are little airy creatures,
    Each with these important features.
    Shiny things we form in spheres.
    Poke us once, we disappear.
    In glassy cups of sweet champagne,
    We travel up, as down we drain.
    And in the flashing tub,
    We swim the water while you scrub.
    Tell us what we all are called,
    To solve this riddle Tim just scrawled.”^note Answer: Bubbles
  • The second riddle:
    "We are speculative creatures,
    With certain volatile features.
    Take stock of us before we burst,
    And streets with walls will claim you first,
    But if you let the markets wait,
    Your futures soon will all deflate.”^note  Answer: Stock Market bubbles
  • The third riddle:
    "I’m a most melodic creature,
    With vocal nightengale features.
    Upon new stages there I sing,
    Through olden songs of jazz and swing.
    And though they say I’m like Sinatra,
    To him I’d like to say ’I’m not ya.’”^note Answer: Michael Bublé
• Robinsonade: Coincidentally or not, this episode features two speedrolls — The Martian and Cast Away — based on films following this trope. The former goes well. The latter... doesn’t.
• Setting Update: E-mails are mentioned in the Waiting for Godot speedroll. The original play premiered in 1953.
• Show Within a Show: Andy Hoover’s offering is a review for the Weekend at Bernie’s campaign, written as though it was a theatrically released film based on a true story, by a reviewer suffering from Sanity Slippage. It only got one and a half stars out of eight.

  "Weekend at Bernie’s, the latest offering from talented but often frustrating director Paulo Quiros. A madcap, avant garde spectacle, and at times a mortifying and confusing examination of what it is to alive in 1989. It is many things, but I can not tell you if it is — in the strictest sense of the word — a movie. Based on the semi-autobiographical mea culpa We Thought We Were Gods: The Real Story of Hampton Island by Richard Parker, Weekend at Bernie’s takes a surprisingly bold and often offensive approach to the infamous events on Hampton Isle which left two dead and several injured. While previous attempts to dramatize the events of July 3rd, 1989 — including of course David Byrne’s solo concept album The Mask of the Duck — while those took a more dark thriller tack, this so-called “comedy” leans into the absurdity of these real-life events. At its best, the film delivers on its grim promise of black comedy, reveling in the pathetic absurdity of central players Richard Parker and Larry Wilson. This movie so disturbed me that it made me question the entire career that I had chosen as a movie critic, as well as my marriage, and the fact that I was born with eyes and ears. I look forward to salvation, but must commend the performance of a young Michelle Pfeiffer in the role of Baby Destruction. That kid is going places.

• Song Parody: Lisa Kopitsky's offering is a musical medley tribute to the show featuring Call Backs to numerous episodes, all set to tunes from Grease, various Disney movies, and other sources.
• Throw the Dog a Bone: After the speedroll for The Searchers, Jon openly thanks Paulo, stating he needed the win.
• Unknown Character: Kara Strait’s offering is a guessing game, in which the other players have to figure out the identities of fictional characters based on the given stats from Kara's custom character sheets. ^note  The characters in question are Neo, Hermione Granger, Speed Racer, Cassandra Wong and The Brave Little Toaster.
• What Do You Mean, It's Not for Kids?: invoked Andy Hoover mentions that the Rerolled ”Summerspell” movie somehow got a G rating despite the explicit sex and violence. Andy implies it's because whoever was in charge of rating it didn't care.

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100 Episodes! Thank you everyone!!!