"I'm too young and too male to be the mother of a seventeen year old female me!"

— Elliot

"I grew up in Moperville. Weird stuff happens here..."

— Carol the reporter

I am an ENDLESS BARREL of exposition!

— Mr. Verres

I mean, I like uniforms, but what's the point if everyone in a group is wearing the same thing?

— Tedd

Nanase, don't take this the wrong way, but HOW THE HELL ARE YOU NOT FAT?

— Susan

Grace: Tedd said if I was Superman, he'd be Batman.

Justin: And you're dating. I think I've read that fan fiction.

Susan: ...I think you've injured my brain.

Tedd: Injured it with logic!

Susan: Sure. Let's call it "logic".

People have different standards when it comes to arguing what is and isn't a vampire...

— Dan Shive, commentary, 21 May 2010.

Come to think of it, does a meme without cat really count as a meme? I mean, REALLY count?

— Dan Shive

...Okay, no, he's totally a bad guy. Is that a spoiler? I don't think it's a spoiler. Look at that thing. It probably ate a puppy for breakfast right before it burned down an orphanage and talked loudly on a cell phone at a restaurant.

— Dan Shive in The Rant for this strip.

"Easily the most perverted squeaky clean comic on the net."

— Tangents Reviews

It sounds like one big awkward moment.

— Elliot, summing up most of the early comic in one sentence.

Why would someone do that?!

— Abraham, after learning the Dewitchery Diamond separated a male and female form. Also a decent summary for the comic.

Dying is usually inconvenient.

— Susan

I'm wearing a skirt, and I have boobs. I'm not going to start worrying about my manly image now!

— Elliot, during Grace's trans-gender birthday party

I know you're half immortal from when you fought the wizard and I'm an alien-human hybrid who can talk with animals and I live with Mr Verres AND I overheard your phone call last night. {Beat} So... Wanna save the day?

— Grace, speaking with her History teacher.