A character insults another without knowing that the insult cuts far deeper than they know or intended, due to a sordid past or shameful secret. May result in Disproportionate Retribution or Bewildering Punishment (to those not in the know, at least), Insult Friendly Fire if the character's friends and allies have a similar secret, and I'm Standing Right Here. Use of the Berserk Button, Trauma Button, and Relative Button often factors in.
Compare Innocently Insensitive (where the insult is unintended), Oblivious Mockery, Close to Home, Fee Fi Faux Pas, That Came Out Wrong, and Did Not Do the Bloody Research (an insult or curse word is much stronger in another language). Can be a source of Cringe Comedy or Dramatic Irony.
Examples:
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Anime & Manga
- Bungo Stray Dogs: In the Fifteen Arc, when Chuuya and Dazai face the GSS, one of the men correctly recognizes Chuuya as a feared Gravity Master, but unfortunately makes the mistake of calling him short, resulting in the boy massacring the entire group in a fit of rage.
Soldier: That shrimp is Chuuya Nakahara!
Chuuya: What did you just call me, asshole? I'm only fifteen years old, I'm still growing, dammit! - Delicious in Dungeon: When Chilchuck the half-foot needles his elf partymate Marcille over elves being arrogant and prejudiced, rather than take the bait, she stares and then quietly asks him whether he thinks he can just say whatever he wants to her.
- Durarara!!: Exaggerated with Shizuo Heiwajima. There are countless different ways to really make him mad given his Hair-Trigger Temper, so even flimsy insults can enrage him to the point of beating people within an inch of their life. At one point a man tries to get out of paying a debt when Shizuo comes to collect by taunting Shizuo about what his younger brother would think about his current line of work. Unfortunately, mentioning Kasuka is a major Berserk Button and Shizuo throws the man into the next building.
- Fullmetal Alchemist: Ed is extremely sensitive about his height, which is bad since people tend to be surprised he's the Fullmetal alchemist. He often retaliates violently even to minor comments, blowing the entire situation out of proportion as hearing the insult much worse than it was. At one point, Ed attacks Envy for making a remark on his height, despite it being one of the few times the latter wasn't trying to insult him, and explains he's even counted how many times Envy has called him short.
Comic Books
- In Black Panther, anti-monarchy protester Aneka starts referring to King T'Challa as Harume-Fal, which means "orphan king", the idea being that his reign is not some divinely-ordained occurrence but merely the consequence of his royal father dying prematurely. This ends up earning her some backlash — as one of her advisors points out, orphans are traditionally rare in Wakanda, where a lack of wars, diseases, and famines means that most families expect to remain intact, and thus it's traditionally been assumed that anyone without parents came from a bad home. Therefore, in calling T'Challa an "orphan king", Aneka is not just insulting T'Challa himself, but also his entire family, including his revered parents. She is also unwittingly perpetuating the stigma against actual orphans, some of whom she'd hoped to attract to her movement.
Fan Works
- Dekugate: After Izuku makes the mistake of running into a typhoon, Inko furiously declares that she could have his hero license revoked. This is Anger Born of Worry, along with fear that her son has his father's legacy go to his head. In reality, however, Izuku had learned about the Dekugaters who despise him for existing, and was trying to avoid giving them more fuel by being as "perfect" and an Ideal Hero as possible. By the time his parents send him to bed, Izuku has convinced himself that his mother will take his license, and that he'll fully deserve it for being unworthy of their legacy.
- Dodged a Beetle: Tikki's utter Lack of Empathy means that her 'pep talks' to Marinette tend to have the exact opposite effect. Namely, rather than actually encouraging Marinette, she tells her that she must succeed or else everything will go horribly, horribly wrong and it will all be her fault.
- She also brutally and blithely declares that it was likely for the best that she passed the Earrings over to Lila, reinforcing Marinette's insecurities.
- In Dragon Ball Z Abridged, when Tenshinhan steps in to block Semi-Perfect Cell from absorbing Android 18, Cell mockingly asks if Krillin was busy. Unbeknownst to Cell, he's right: at that moment Krillin was off getting the androids' self-destruct remote from Bulma.
- Ffreire's NaruFox AU:
- During their match, Neji baits Sasuke into losing his temper by mocking how privileged the Uchiha clan is, calling them 'happy and unoccupied'. This strikes a much rawer nerve than he'd expected, as Neji was unaware that Sasuke had recently learned that his cousin Shisui had been found dead under suspicious circumstances, and that at least some of the clan suspected Itachi might be responsible.
- Sasuke accuses his teammates of not understanding what he's going through, since Naruto "never had anyone" and Sakura "always had everyone!" This hits Naruto especially hard, tapping into one of his deepest insecurities: the fear that he really can't comprehend how it feels to lose a loved one because his parents died while he was still an infant, meaning he never had a chance to know them well enough to miss them.
- Jiraiya scolds Naruto about his inability to keep his fox ears and tail from manifesting, declaring that repressing his kitsune features should be like second nature. This reminds Naruto of the Fantastic Racism all of the animal clans have suffered in Konoha after a nine-tailed fox rampaged through the village, spurring him to angrily quit his lessons and storm off.
- In the Firefly fic Freedom to the Free
, Simon, River, Kaylee and Wash are kidnapped and enslaved. Despite Wash being brutally beaten, Simon suffers the most trying to protect the others from harm. When they’re rescued, he gets overwhelmed trying to tell Mal about the girl who helped him and was brought with them. Jayne mouths off when Simon leaves the room. It sets Wash off majorly.
Kaylee didn't get a chance to respond, because as she turned on Jayne, Wash grabbed Zoe's gun from her holster and aimed it at Jayne. "That boy saved us. He protected us. You have no idea..." Wash's voice shook with anger. "If you ever say something like that again. I will kill you. No - if you even think it - I'll know, and I will drop your ass off in Reaver territory!" - Infinity Train: Blossoming Trail:
- During an argument, Chloe angrily asks Goh why he's never at school. Goh snaps back that he's busy chasing his dreams, adding that that's something she lacks — that she's got no dreams or ambitions of her own. Since Goh only attends school to take tests, he's unaware that in his absence, she's constantly being bullied by the whole class, feeling isolated, miserable, and stuck without anybody who understands or supports her. His outburst convinces Chloe that Goh doesn't really give a damn about her, spurring her to run off and board the Infinity Train.
- Goh eventually clarifies during Voyage of Wisteria that he was actually trying to motivate Chloe to start chasing after her own dreams like him, claiming that he would've supported her no matter what. Chloe internally wonders why he never bothered explaining this sooner.
- The Mountain and the Wolf: The Wolf appears genuinely unaware that he's constantly pushing people's Berserk Button / Trauma Button when talking to them (even people he's theoretically allied with) as a side effect of his curse to always seek out a fight.
- He calls Ramsay by the wrong last name (Snow instead of Bolton, not knowing that Snow is a generic last name for bastards in the North), and compromises by asking if his mother slept with both Snow and Bolton at the same time to conceive Ramsay. Ramsay, being a recently legitimized bastard, is so pissed his arrows keep missing.
- The Wolf's repeated belittling of Littlefingers' Non-Action Guy status triggers Baelish's memories of losing the fight that sent him down his Manipulative Bastard path, resulting in Baelish attacking the Wolf in blind fury... and when it wears off, he realizes he only made himself look stupid (as evidenced by Arya laughing herself sick).
- The Wolf irritatedly tells Theon to grow a pair when told to guard a sorcerer, unaware that that comment might hit a little closer to home for Theon.
- In a variation where the insulted party is absent, the Wolf disparages Jon's brother as a worthless fighter, having declared Jon a superior swordsman. Jon is confused until he realizes the Wolf thinks Ramsay is Jon's brother.
- The Wolf threatens to have Missandei gang-raped to death if Grey Worm still sails for Naath instead of staying to fight him. Tyrion, who was Forced to Watch the love of his life be gang-raped (on his father's orders) can almost see it happening.
- Noceda-Clawthorne Series: In The Owl Familia: The Family That Will Grow Forever , Boscha furiously rebukes Luz showing sympathy when her mother is hospitalized, declaring that she has no way of knowing what she's going through because she's never almost lost a parent. After Luz leaves, Amity reveals that she lost her father Manny, causing Boscha to regret her outburst.
- Quiververse: In the midst of a rant aimed at various characters, Spoiled Rich briefly calls Quiver Quill "retarded". Quiver's younger brother was a low-functioning autistic, whose death was a major cause of trauma for him and his family. This, combined with her earlier accusations, leads to him nearly strangling her to death.
- That's Why They Call It the Present: Dalang makes a joke about Tai Lung having sex with men in prison. This unintentionally sets off Tai Lung's Trauma Button as he was raped by the rhino guards. This causes him to snap and threaten Dalang to never make a joke like that again.
- What If Krillin Became a Saiyan?: While rejecting Guru's offer to unlock his full potential, Goku declares that Saiyans find it more important to earn their strength, remarking offhandedly to Krillin that he probably doesn't understand that since he wasn't born a Saiyan. Krillin takes this poorly; many of their friends and fellow Z Warriors looked down upon him after learning about his wish to be "more like Goku", with Master Roshi practically disowning him despite being the one who unknowingly suggested he use the Dragon Balls in the first place. Thus, Krillin thinks Goku's remark reveals his best friend looks down upon him just like the others.
- Your Heart a Haven of Thorns (Naruto): Played for Drama when Ino initially doesn't notice that Sakura is missing an arm when they meet up for the first time post-Forest of Death. As a result, Ino insults her "tacky new haircut", causing Sakura to burst into tears. Ino instantly drops her aggression the moment she finally notices Sakura's state, switching to Tranquil Fury on her behalf.
Films — Live-Action
- The Last Jedi: Poe makes a Your Mom joke to the Imperial commander Hux, pissing him off fiercely. Hux actually is illegitimate, as revealed in other material, so his unprofessional response to Poe's insult is more or less justified.
- Planes, Trains and Automobiles: During their first night together, Neal goes into a tirade against Del, with Del telling him "I like me, my wife likes me...". Towards the end, when Neal recalls this (along with some other cryptic comments by Del), he realizes Del's a homeless drifter whose wife Marie died several years earlier, and he invites him to join his family for Thanksgiving dinner.
- In Welcome to the Dollhouse, Dawn calls Brandon a "retard", unaware that Brandon has a brother with Down's Syndrome.
Literature
- Animorphs: Marco is confronted by two bullies, one of whom makes a disparaging comment about Marco's Missing Mom running off with another man. As Marco's mother is actually the host body to Visser One, Marco slowly and involuntarily starts morphing into a hammerhead shark while staring hungrily at the bully's throat. Fortunately Jake shows up and defuses the situation.
- Arrow Of God: At a meeting of emissaries from two Igbo villages, one disparages the other's masculinity, which he takes very badly because he is secretly and shamefully impotent. He lashes back violently, starting a war between the two villages that ends up with the British colonial overseer intervening, setting the stage for the rest of the plot.
- Hidden Talents: Martin ends up Expelled from Every Other School because of his compulsive smart-aleck tendencies, which invariably make his teachers, fellow students, and relatives far angrier than he expects. Justified by the reveal that he's The Empath and was subconsciously picking up on people's greatest vulnerabilities.
- Ramona Quimby: In Ramona Forever, Ramona angrily calls her sister Beezus "pizza-face". She merely thinks of it as a variation on "pieface," an insult that she's always heard bandied around the playground, but when she sees Beezus' face crumple, she realizes that she must have crossed a line. She later explains why she used that term, and Beezus admits to her in turn that she got upset because of how sensitive she's been about an acne problem of late. The two sisters thus apologize to each other for their argument.
- Skin Game: Harry is puzzled when the archangel Uriel is deeply insulted by being casually called "Uri". Then he realizes it's Uriel's name means "Light of God" and by leaving the suffix off it's changed the meaning to "light" without God. In other words, Harry effectively just called him Lucifer. Harry quickly backpedals and starts calling him "Mr Sunshine" instead, which Uriel finds a much more amusing nickname.
- In the first Warrior Cats book, "Into the Wild", Firepaw the former housepet and newbie warrior gets into a fight with a grumpy, elderly cat named Yellowfang. Yellowfang tells Firepaw that he's "dithering like a kittypet!", which makes him fear that she smells human scent on him. She realises she's offended him (but doesn't realise why) and keeps teasing him by mentioning housepets.
- In The Way Of Kings (first book of The Stormlight Archive), Kaladin puts on armour from dead enemy Parshendi to Draw Aggro in the next battle, knowing that it's a taboo to them. He underestimates the gravity of the taboo: every enemy archer focuses on him, and his one Parshman squadmate is so appalled by him that it takes a long time to mend their relationship.
- Wulfrik: Some of the insults Wulfrik throws around aren't actually his own but supplied by his Gift of Tongues. Notably, he calls an Imperial baron a cuckold without knowing that the baron is a Crazy Jealous Guy whose wife's repeated infidelities only exist in his head, pissing him off to the point where he rushes headlong into Wulfrik's army and is quickly killed.
Live-Action TV
- How I Met Your Mother:
- Ted compares Zoe to Cinderella's wicked stepmother. This turns out to be very hurtful because her stepdaughter actually does hate her.
- In the last season, after learning Robin can't cook a simple dish of scrambled eggs, Barney's mother snarks at her future daughter-in-law by sarcastically wondering what she'll make for breakfast if she has children. Robin, who previously learned she can't conceive, coldly informs her she won't have to worry about that before storming off.
- Kaamelott: The weaponmaster believes in the virtues of a good insult to get the blood flowing, so his every sparring session starts by throwing the crassest insults he can think of at his opponent ("En garde, you fat cunt!") and encouraging them to do the same. Arthur reluctantly joins in, halfheartedly calling him "son of a one-legged man"... and the weaponmaster completely collapses, to the point where he doesn't even want to fight. Then he venomously says he could have mentioned the time Arthur's father got shat on by a billygoat...
Arthur: Okay. Bloodbath it is.
- Silicon Valley: In "Homicide", the Pied Piper team does business with the CEO of the titular company, Aaron, whom Erlich knew in college and nicknamed "Double A", as in "Double Asshole". When Aaron screws over Pied Piper, Richard calls him "double asshole"...prompting Aaron to tearfully reveal a colostomy bag. When Richard recounts the incident to Erlich, he's shocked since he never called Aaron "Double Asshole"" to his face.
- That '70s Show: In "Over The Hills And Far Away", Kitty is experiencing menopause and (awkwardly) tries to explain it to the male characters. However, she gets irritated when she sees Kelso is playing a video game instead of listening.
Kitty: What is wrong with you?! Were you dropped on your head?!
Kelso: Yes! I WAS! And up until now, everyone had the good grace not to mention it! (sinks his head into the pillow)
Tabletop Games
- BattleTech: When the Clans first arrived in the Inner Sphere, Inner Sphere mechwarriors were shocked by how insulted most Clan warriors reacted upon being called bastards. This was because the Clans have a eugenics program where the DNA of warriors from previous generations is used to grow new generations in artificial wombs and thus the implication that a Trueborn warrior had parents was deeply insulting. Once this information proliferated, Inner Sphere mechwarriors began hurling the insult significantly more.
Theatre
- Molière's L Ecole Des Femmes has the Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist Arnolphe try to get people to call him "Monsieur de la Souche" to mask his commoner origins. He runs into a friend back from a trip who starts making fun of this "Monsieur de la Zouche", who's obviously a Social Climber trying too hard to make himself look better than he is.
Video Games
- Best of Three: One ending path has Grant realize why Helen is so upset at him; he heavily critiqued and insulted a poem she'd written for English class while unaware that she was its author. When this comes up, he apologizes honestly, stating that he really hadn't meant most of what he'd said and didn't realize how hard she'd take it. Helen can decide whether or not to accept his apology.
- The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky: When Clem mistakenly thinks the Ravens were responsible for burning down Mercia Orphanage and confronts them about it, Deen, unaware that he's an orphan, tells him he should "go home and get back to sucking on [his] mama's tit", enraging the already furious kid further.
- Peret em Heru: For the Prisoners: After being repeatedly harassed and tricked by Rin, Ayuto decides to give her the silent treatment, ignoring her efforts to get his attention. This cuts deeper than he realizes, as Rin's attention-seeking behavior stems from her feeling neglected by her hard-working father. Rin winds up running off in a huff, deeper into the underground ruins, potentially leading to disaster.
Visual Novels
- Angels with Scaly Wings: Bryce and his friends tend to poke fun at each other while they're hanging out. Unfortunately, this includes them making fun of his alcoholism, unaware that this makes Bryce feel like he can't be honest with them about any of his problems, assuming they'll just be mocked.
Web Comics
- Daughter of the Lilies: When Lyra needles her teammate Brent with a particular Fantastic Slur while drinking, he's shocked into silence for one panel, then nearly attacks her on the spot. She's left quietly ashamed for using a word meaning "unwanted child" on an orphan.
- Dumbing of Age: Sarah tells Lucy that as she's not part of the group, she can't recognize Vitriolic Best Buds, adding that "[Lucy] is only there to bone Walky". Lucy doesn't take it well.
- El Goonish Shive: When jokingly warned by Nanase that being interested in people talking about movie reviews is "how nerds get started", Diane freaks out. This seems like an overreaction, until we find out several arcs later that Diane thinks "nerd" means "someone who values technical knowledge or trivia more than people and is proud of the fact".
- NEXT!!! Sound of the Future: In the context of the rest of what she's saying, Tech's statement to Shine in chapter 7 that "a Miku who can’t sing is less than worthless" is about how a Vocaloid's value to society is determined by how well they can perform as idols and appease the public. Though she's saying this because she thinks Shine is foolish for wanting to be an idol, she doesn't realize that Shine has a bug that literally prevents her from singing which is the main source of Shine's insecurity, making her statement come across a lot worse than intended.
- Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal: "Financial News Delivered By Surly Teenagers" has the anchor and the teenager trade barbs, with "higher than your father gets whenever he has to pretend to enjoy family time" reducing the anchor to silence then tears.
Teenager: Too much?
Anchor: (starts crying)
Teenager: Too much... like adult life is for your father? votey- And the alt text: "Sorry, didn't mean to hurt your feelings. It was an accident, like your conception."
- Scarlet Lady: In "Bubbler", when Hawkmoth starts to Akumatize Nino, the latter notes the former sounds very out of breath, and says he sounds like a geriatric - "like Adrien's pops old". Hawkmoth, who is Adrien's father, doesn't take the insult well.
Western Animation
- Arthur: In "D.W.'s Name Game", after Arthur and his sister D.W. antagonize each other back and forth throughout the day, D.W. has a Dream Sequence that she finds the perfect insult to call him. To her horror, it causes him to melt, leading to An Aesop against name-calling.
- In the My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic episode "Newbie Dash", Rainbow Dash finally achieves her lifelong dream of becoming a Wonderbolt. However, she crashes during an early practice, causing the other Bolts to nickname her "Rainbow Crash". Dash finds this horribly offensive because it was the nickname her childhood bullies gave her. Only finding out that all the Wonderbolts have Embarrassing Nicknames allows her to overcome her hurt.
- The Simpsons: In "Homer At The Bat", Lisa and Bart are heckling baseball player Darryl Strawberry, believing that he as a professional wouldn't be affected by fans chanting his name. Then we see a closeup on Darryl's face as he sheds a tear.
- Subverted in the South Park episode "Up The Down Steroid", where Jimmy makes an inspiring speech about steroids being for pussies... and behind him are athletes famous for using steroids grinning vacuously as the camera focuses on them.
- In the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "No Weenies Allowed", SpongeBob's final, successful attempt to gain entry to the Salty Spitoon involves faking a fight with Patrick. Things proceed as planned until SpongeBob (as part of the act) calls Patrick "tubby", causing him to get genuinely upset and punch SpongeBob to the floor. He manages to calm down once SpongeBob reminds him which of them is supposed to win.
- Tuca & Bertie: In "Sleepovers," Kara playfully teases Tuca about her messy eating habits, snarking, "Who raised you?" This really hurts Tuca's feelings, presumably because, unbeknownst to Kara, Tuca was orphaned at a young age and is still dealing with that trauma. Kara assumes Tuca's just overreacting since it was intended as a joke.
