Haggis Is Horrible
Gabriella Daniels: All haggis tastes like ass anyway.
Kenneth Donnelly: Aye, but in the right hands it can taste like mighty fine ass.Haggis is a Scottish dish prepared using a sheep stomach, oatmeal, suet, and some crazy things that you might not think would go well together in a dish. In fiction, haggis is often viewed as disgusting, in which case no characters will eat or touch it. Sometimes they might first ask what’s in it, and look dismayed at the answer. Other times they might begin to eat it and spit it across the room in disgust upon finding out what's in it. Whatever the reason, it never seems like anybody wants to eat haggis besides the Scottish guy in a kilt. In fact, the United States FDA has banned traditional haggis from sale and import, as it includes livestock lung which is not considered "edible". In reality, because the ingredients are ground up before being stuffed into the stomach, haggis is essentially a large mutton sausage with an unusually thick casing—remember that your garden variety sausage can contain some disgusting-sounding offal, and they don't generally tell you what it is. Moreover, modern store-bought haggis (i.e. most haggis) is made with a standard manufactured sausage casing (like you'd find on pretty much any mass-market British sausage), so basically a modern, mass-produced haggis is a short, thick mutton sausage with entirely known ingredients. All of a sudden, haggis sounds more appealing than the bangers you get at the supermarket... If you must know, haggis basically tastes like a cross between a hamburger and a sausage. And yes, it really is delicious. Laddie. A Sub-Trope of Foreign Queasine. Compare Stock Yuck. Not to be confused with Hägar the Horrible.
- Subverted in the Team Fortress 2 fanfic Eight Mercenaries and a Toddler, where the Medic tells the Administrator that the entire team got food poisoning from haggis. It was just to buy some ceasefire time.
- In Food for Thought, Dyson brings haggis to a potluck. No one is happy.
Kenzi: I meant bring normal people food, that normal people eat.Dyson: Normal people eat haggis.Kenzi: Not here they don't.
- Ramirez in Highlander. Connor calls him a haggis, and he asks what it is. When Connor tells him...
Ramirez: Haggis? What is haggis?Macleod: Sheep's stomach, stuffed with meat and barley!Ramirez: And... what do you do with it?Macleod: Heh! You eat it!Ramirez: (bridling) How revolting!
- Casino Royale (1967) has Sir James Bond at M's wake - the enemy agent posing as his widow details the preparation of the haggis traditionally made for the occasion; James incredulously gulps "and...eat it?"note
- In Mike Myers' So I Married an Axe Murderer, it comes up in discussion at the butcher's shop. Mike calmly agrees it's revolting and notes that "All Scottish cuisine is based on a dare."
- In Armageddon, Max says his favorite dish is haggis. The NASA doctor gets visibly queasy as he describes it.
- Seen in the Pixar movie Brave, where the triplets seem to find their haggis disgusting. However, their mother Elinor eats it without a fuss and asks her children to at least try it, so it's not that the haggis is horrible but the triplets are Picky Eaters.
- As demonstrated in the Scooby-Doo movie Scooby-Doo! and the Loch Ness Monster, not even Shaggy and Scooby will touch haggis.
- In Harry Potter, when the ¡Three Amigos! go to Nick's deathday party, there is a bunch of rotten food, and it includes haggis. Though actually, all of the food is rotten, and none of the three wants to eat any of it.
- In a Recurring Sketch on Saturday Night Live, Mike Myers plays the proprietor of an "All Things Scottish" store in New York City. His Catch Phrase is "If it’s not Scottish, it's crap!" But not even he likes haggis.
- Good Eats: In an episode devoted to oatmeal, Alton Brown demonstrates how to make haggis, dressed like a fourth-string extra on Braveheart, hacking up entrails with a sword and punctuating his instructions with "...or I'll give ye the back o' my hand!"
- Partially subverted in Home Improvement. In one episode, Wilson prepares haggis for his date. It doesn't sound appetizing to Tim when he explains what it is, but his date seems to like it.
- On a champions-return episode of Chopped, the only contestants who aren't repulsed to see canned haggis in their ingredient baskets are a fellow whose mother'd cooked Scottish dishes at home, and a French-born chef who doesn't even know what it is.
- John Oliver on Last Week Tonight feigns love for haggis while trying to woo Scotland back to remaining part of the United Kingdom in his segment talking about the Scottish independence referendum.
- In one Oor Wullie strip in the Scottish Sunday Post, Wullie is sent to the butcher to get a haggis for Burns Night, despite insisting he'd rather have mince'n'tatties. He persuades the butcher to give him mince in a haggis skin instead.
- Shows up in Sherman's Lagoon, when the Loch Ness monster visits.
Sherman: What's that?Monster: Haggis! Sheep's insides stuffed in a sheep stomach, soaked in whisky and boiled to a rubbery lump.Sherman: Sort of like a football?Monster: Aye, but this one's for eating.
- In the play Money Talks, a Running Gag in the second act is various characters attempting to get rid of the haggis the Scottish banker leaves behind.
- Mass Effect 2 has a conversation between Normandy crewmen Gabby Daniels and Ken Donnelly on this subject if Shepard buys equipment and ingredients for Normandy's galley. Donnelly, true Scotsman that he is, apparently quite likes it.
- Averted in Freefall, when Florence wishes someone would produce a microwavable haggis. Granted, she's a sentient wolf recovering from a serious injury and needing the nutrients in organ meats, but she still seems to think haggis would be good even under normal conditions.
- In Pocket Princesses, while Merida is proud of haggis, Tiana is a lot more dubious about cooking pudding that includes stuff like sheep's lungs.
- There's one episode of Johnny Bravo that has Johnny and the Loch Ness monster fighting over a sack of haggis Johnny bought. Johnny gets it in the end, realizes what's in it, and decides against eating it.
- In an episode of Samurai Jack, Jack visits The Scotsman's home town, and is presented with a feast of haggis. Jack promptly exclaims "Eww!" and holds his nose due to the smell from it before asking what it is and getting told "a sheep's stomach filled with meat and barley".
- In The Simpsons, Groundskeeper Willie tries to sell haggis at the school fair and makes the mistake of describing the ingredients and saying "Tastes as good as it sounds"
- Peter Puppy's hatred of haggis is a Running Gag on the Earthworm Jim series.
- Used in an episode of ProStars, and combined with I Ate WHAT?.
- Used in an episode of The Weekenders, where Lor tries to get her friends to try haggis. Tino makes the mistake of asking what it is.
Lor: If I told you, you'd never eat it. Actually, you might not eat anything. Ever again.Carver: Yum.
- Averted on Phineas and Ferb, where Phineas briefly mentions that Ferb loves haggis.
- Subverted in an episode of the The Ren & Stimpy Show, where the main duo were willing, even eager to eat haggis with a Scotsman they meet. Unfortunately, the Scotsman gets angry because they didn't to put chutney in his.