I Need A Freaking Drink / Literature

• Agatha H. and the Voice of the Castle: Boris, on finding himself in charge of the entire empire, feels that he could really do with a large glass of vodka.
• The Alice Network: Lili makes this comment to the waiter after a long day:
  Lili: It's been an absolute pisser of a day. So make it a double brandy, monsieur, and never mind looking sour.
• In "—And He Built a Crooked House—", Quintus Teal and the Baileys become trapped in the middle of his bizzarrchitectural masterpiece. When Teal hands Bailey a shot of liquor to help revive his wife who fainted, he downs it himself.
• In "...And it Comes Out Here" by Lester del Rey, this is the protagonist's reaction to meeting his own future self.
• In Best Served Cold, Cosca turns "A drink, a drink, a drink" almost into a personal credo.
• In Bring Up the Bodies, Henry VIII loudly and publicly accuses Thomas Cromwell of attempting to turn him into a Puppet King. It's not the first time Henry's been mad at him, but the level of rage and the particular accusation is enough to make Cromwell's head feel rather insecure on its shoulders. He just manages to withdraw by making a blacksmith's gesture that confuses Henry into shutting up, then immediately seeks out a goblet of wine.
• The first book of the Children of the Lamp series has a villainous example from Iblis Teer, who downs a decanter's worth of brandy in one gulp shortly after one of the protagonists, Philippa, tricks him into eating a mouse while he was in snake form.
• Ciaphas Cain: The titular Hero of the Imperium has often been found taking a swig of amasec (brandy) "far faster than such a fine example of the distiller's art deserved." Considering the Tyrannid swarms, suicidal terrorists, and other horrible reasons for needing the drink (and yet passing for normal in this psychotic universe), this is fully justified.
• In The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, after Ed Boone hits his son Christopher because he found out that he was still deducing Wellington's murderer, he would have quoted this verbatim if he hadn't substituted the "freaking" for something else.
• The final chapter of Dave Barry Slept Here has only one discussion question at the end: "How about we go get a beer?"
• Deryni:
  • In Deryni Checkmate, after he meets a strangely well-informed grey-cowled figure on the road to Coroth, Duncan goes to Morgan's study and pours himself "a small glass of the strong red wine Alaric kept for just such emergencies", downs it and pours another for sipping while waiting for Morgan to gracefully exit his state dinner in progress downstairs. After Duncan begins recounting the event to his cousin, Morgan gets up and pours a glass for himself.
  • After Rothana shares Janniver's memory of her rape, Kelson wanders his camp for a time before going to Morgan's tent. Seeing the expression on Kelson's face, Morgan sends his stepson Brendan to bed and pours Kelson a cup of wine; Kelson gulps half of it down, sits down with a sigh, and takes a second deep pull before he can discuss the experience.
• Discworld:
  • Commander Vimes tends to think this when things are going particularly poorly, but after Guards! Guards!, he quit (with a brief relapse in Men at Arms), and for a long time afterwards had to remind himself that just one would be too many. William de Worde's first impression of him in The Truth is that Vimes is "badly" everything, as in badly spoken, badly dressed, and badly in need of a drink.
  • It's actually been mentioned that Vimes is in fact slightly "knurd", meaning that he's more sober than sober, and actually needs at least one drink in him to be "normal". Klatchian coffee is so strong that it has the same effect, but the Klatchians make very certain they are well and truly out of their heads on orakh (the only liquor on the Disc that can match scumble for potency, made from cactus sap and scorpion venom) before partaking.
  • In Wyrd Sisters, an inhabitant of Lancre is so upset by the lack of weird things happening around the kingdom he has to be taken to the pub and given a drink to un-steady his nerves.
  • In a scene in Witches Abroad, Nanny Ogg is both figuratively and literally stuck between Magrat and Granny Weatherwax after the two have a falling-out. As the three walk along a yellow brick road, Magrat says, half to herself "What some people need is a bit more heart," to which Granny replies "What some people need is a lot more brain." Nanny, meanwhile, thinks to herself "What I need is a drink."
  • Honorary mention of Carpe Jugulum here, in which having a damn drink actually helps the drinker resist vampire mind control... and Nanny rather seems to approve.
  • In Hogfather, when a huge surplus of extra belief floods Discworld, one of the beings created is Bilious, the Oh God of Hangovers, who experiences the consequences when other people engage in this trope. At one point, he much relishes a chance to turn the tables on a god who loves to get drunk: his brother, Bibulous, God of Wine. Thanks to a Hideous Hangover Cure, he gets to turn those tables around when Bilious gets the "humorous side effects" instead.
  • In Mort, drinking is one of the mortal pleasures which Death attempts. When he and the bartender discuss his lack of friends, he pauses, then muses aloud that he thinks he could be friends with the next bottle of booze.
• Defied in Divergent. Tris's fellow initiates pass around a silver flask with something strong right before Al's funeral. She refuses to partake of it.
• In Dragonrider: The Life and Dreams (So Far) of Anne McCaffrey, Todd McCaffrey recounts an incident in which one of his mother's beloved horses was injured while his sister was out riding. The horse recovered, but Anne was so shaken that Todd immediately brought her a glass of brandy, which she knocked back without a second thought and said, "Thanks, I needed that."
• An inversion appears in The Drawing of the Dark: Brian Duffy, a tavern bouncer and sometime mercenary, staggers into his workplace and demands an explanation for the crazy weird stuff that keeps happening to him. His boss responds: "You need a drink," and after a moment's thought, Duffy replies: "Yes, but if I have one I'll be sick." (Instead, he gets something to smoke.)
• Used in more than a few volumes of The Dresden Files. The biggest one occurs in Changes after Harry learns that he and Susan have an 8-year-old daughter who she never told him about.
  Harry: Um. I'd say, "Whiskey, Mac," except I'm not sure if you have any whiskey. I need something strong, I think.
• The Empirium Trilogy: Ludivine suggests partaking in some celebratory drinks after Rielle successfully completes the first trial. Much later on, Rielle damages the Gate even more and the Obex give Rielle the task of finding the Saint's castings on her own. Ingrid offers up a round of drinks to which Ludivine holds up a hand.
• Esther Diamond: Both Barclay Preston-Cole and Garry Goudini in Disappearing Nightly as they recount how their respective assistants disappeared during their acts.
• In Farewell, My Lovely, Marlowe narrates:
  I needed a drink, I needed a lot of life insurance, I needed a vacation, I needed a home in the country. What I had was a coat, a hat and a gun.
• This happens a lot in Garrett, P.I., as befits a homage to Hardboiled Detective fiction. Even the Grand Inquisitor demands brandy in a jar when he stops by to complain about his ecclesiastical colleagues. Upon his return from one emotionally-wracking case, Garrett's associates practically force a mug into his hand, anticipating that this trope is in effect.
• Good Omens:
  • Crowley and Aziraphale do this after Crowley delivers the newborn Antichrist to the hospital where he'll be switched with another family's baby, and the pair are forced to confront the possibility of The End of the World as We Know It, and all of the great things Earth has going for it.
    Crowley: ...The point is... the point I'm trying to make... is dolphins. That's my point...
  • This also happens to Crowley in the backstory:
    Crowley got a commendation for the Spanish Inquisition. He had been in Spain then, mainly hanging around cantinas in the nicer parts, and hadn't even known about it until the commendation arrived. He'd gone to have a look, and come back and got drunk for a week.
  • Crowley also considers doing this when he reaches his Darkest Hour (Hell has discovered that he misplaced the Antichrist and is seeking to punish him, Aziraphale has mysteriously disappeared, there's nothing Crowley can do to stop the end of the world, and he's stuck in a monstrous traffic jam). He could just get pissed out of his mind waiting for the world to end, but instead, Crowley regains his Heroic Resolve and keeps on going towards Tadfield in hopes of finding some way to stop Armageddon.
• Harry Potter:
  • Hagrid's reaction to only narrowly escaping the most powerful dark wizard of all time:
    Hagrid: [a little shakily] Haven't go' any brandy, have yeh, Molly? Fer medicinal purposes?^note She has.
  • A rather amusing variation happens in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban when Harry and Hermione go back in time to save Buckbeak and Sirius. When Fudge sees that Buckbeak somehow went missing since he last saw him, he starts freaking out, trying to figure out what happened. A very unconcerned Dumbledore (who seems to know what's going on, despite not actually having given Harry and Hermione the time travel plan yet) suggests that maybe Hagrid could fetch them all some drinks. Hagrid, who's over the moon about Buckbeak escaping, is happy to comply.
  • Harry Potter gets his first taste of Ogden's Fire Whiskey in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows after the Battle of the Seven Potters.
• In Hoka, this is a common response by humans to Hoka antics.
• Subverted in Honor Harrington. Queen Elizabeth and President Eloise Pritchart are meeting aboard Honor's flagship. Her steward, MacGuiness, asks everyone if they would like refreshments. Elizabeth considers having a rather strong drink but decides against it.
• The Hunger Games: Katniss in Catching Fire after the Quarter Quell announcement.
• Jane Eyre: When Mr. Rochester hears from Jane that Mr. Mason has arrived at Thornfield, he says that it's a blow, and asks Jane to bring him a glass of wine. She does and he promptly swallows the contents.
• This happens pretty frequently in Jeeves and Wooster, since Bertie's automatic stress response is to go someplace and order a few drinks. If Jeeves is in the vicinity, he'll prepare the drink, but he never needs a drink himself.
• John Putnam Thatcher:
  • Zig-zagged in Double, Double, Oil, and Trouble. One of the directors of the company the mystery centers around orders a drink after hearing Thatcher's summation. Another executive gloomily reviews the company's woes and agrees a stiff drink is in order. His colleague admonishes him, going into a detailed analysis of how the situation is only bad in the short term, while the future looks bright. The alcohol is actually for a celebratory toast.
  • In Green Grow the Dollars, when Gloria Vandam hears that her husband and several of his relatives are murder suspects, she suggests that they have some brandy before bed and makes it clear that it isn't just for her husband.
• Kane Series: In Darkness Weaves, young aristocrat Imel sees Kane for the first time at night, in an old tomb during a huge storm. When he looks into Kane's eyes, full of madness, hatred, and bloodlust, he immediately grabs a bottle of wine that's been standing nearby.
• Exaggerated in The Laundry Files. The Laundry operates its own pub, the Crown and Squid, explicitly for this purpose. They found it easier to just take over wholesale than to continously vet new owners and staff members to ensure that they had clearance to hear some of the things about which Laundry agents wanted to vent to The Bartender, mostly involving either political skulduggery or things with too many angles and tentacles. It is also rare that anyone in the Howard household does not polish off a bottle of scotch and a pound of chcolate after a mission.
• Laszlo Hadron and the Wargod's Tomb: Captain Elgar Humboldt frequently responds to having to deal with people he doesn't like by drinking, although he at least sticks to non-alcoholic drinks when he's on duty.
• In the first book of the Left Behind series, Rayford Steele indulges in some alcohol to help him deal with the loss of his wife Irene and his son Raymie when they were Caught Up in the Rapture.
• The Magicians: Early in The Magician's Land, Plum attempts to play a prank on Wharton (the student wine-steward) as revenge for constantly short-serving her and her friends at dinner — only to end up accidentally trespassing on a restricted area of Brakebills, falling through time, nearly getting killed by the "ghost" haunting the school, and finishing up her night by being expelled by the Dean for endangering everyone. Worse still, Plum also gets Professor Coldwater fired because he has to break the rules to rescue her, a fact that she's immediately consumed with guilt over. In the aftermath, Plum finally confronts Wharton over the short-serving, whereupon he meekly offers Plum a full glass of wine, and she accepts so quickly that she struggles not to down the whole thing in one gulp.
• Murder for the Modern Girl: After the intense climax with Ferris, Ruby takes a large bottle of scotch that was hidden away in her father's library. When Maggie points it out, Ruby states that she has almost died several times and is having scotch because of it.
• Myth Adventures:
  • In Another Fine Myth, Aahz asks for a drink after he realizes just how stuck he is in Klahd's dimension.
  • Deconstructed in Sweet Myth-Tery of Life, in which Skeeve's constant need of a drink pushes him toward The Alcoholic.
• In The Night Mayor, Marlowe-inspired Hardboiled Detective Richie Quick narrates, before going on a prolonged bender:
  I needed a drink. Several, one on top of the other. I wasn't sure there were enough drinks in the City for what I had in mind, but, as the man said, a man's reach should exceed his grasp or what's a heaven for?
• While August from Of Fear and Faith usually bemoans needing a smoke, he mentions how he used to drink very heavily instead and invokes this trope after his painfully awkward attempts to introduce himself to the other main characters.
• Paladin of Shadows:
  • Mike Jenkins, in Choosers of the Slain, made plans for meeting Pierson in a bar after the talk with Senator Traskel, though meeting with the Senate leadership is noted to have been more of a "ballbuster" for him.
  • In Unto the Breach, after flying low and slow (due to the helicopter being heavily overloaded) past a trio of enemy bunkers Captain Kacey Bathlick says to her helicopter's crew chief that after "one hairy fucking mission" she seriously needs a drink... Kacey doesn't drink. She later laments in A Deeper Blue that she sometimes wishes that her water was beer when she's told about the Rite of Kardane and what happened with Gretchen.
• In Paratime, you know your case has gone straight to Hell when you see a colleague downing 150-proof palm rum.
• Peter Benchley's Creature: After Rusty sees the creature and lives to tell the tale, he goes straight to a local bar, puts down a $50 bill, and says to keep giving him drinks until that money runs out. When he finally gets kicked out three hours later, he just heads straight to another bar.
• Princesses of the Pizza Parlor: Grandmothers and Other Fearsome Encounters: After Burning with Anger, Penelope got some medicinal herbs in wine, but also needed the alcohol stuff to deal with the craziness that she had witnessed before she burned:
  To protect those girls, she was going to have to suck up her pride and figure out just what was happening.
  But first, wine. A whole lot of wine.
• Rats, Bats and Vats: In the first book, General Cartup-Kreutzler downs a large serving of alcohol after he's subjected to lots of physical pain and humiliation, has his adulterous exploits exposed to his wife, get chewed out for missing the first victory of the war, and finds out that his enemy Fitzhugh is now a revered hero. The drink fails to make him feel better, as it turns out that Ariel swapped the whiskey with rat pee.
• In The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, after narrowly avoiding death by Vogon via escaping to the titular restaurant, Zaphod and Ford quickly head for the bar. Ford becomes so drunk that he's hilariously incoherent for much of the scene.
• In The Riddle of the Wren by Charles de Lint, this is Minda's reaction to meeting Grimbold, an ancient and powerful wizard who is also a giant badger.
• The Riftwar Cycle: This shows up in the Serpentwar Saga. Pug, Nakor and Miranda have finally tracked down the legendary wizard Macros the Black in their quest to get his aid in dealing with the Serpent Queen. Miranda (whose background has been a total mystery up to that point) addressed Macros as Daddy and then says
  Miranda: It's Mother. She's trying to destroy the world.
  Macros: I need a drink.
  Miranda: First you need a bath.
• Peter from Rivers of London, in one of his asides about police work, remarks that just being police is ample grounds for this trope. He also allows that if marijuana were legal, police of his generation would happily play an entirely different trope straight, but it's not so they head for the pub after a shift.
• Robots Have No Tails: Galloway Gallegher works best when plastered anyway, but special mention to the story "Time Locker".
  "Yeah, that's it," he murmured after a while. "Whew! I guess Vanning must have been the only guy who ever reached into the middle of next week and — killed himself! I think I'll get tight."
  And he did.
• In Running Blind by Desmond Bagley, British spy Alan Stewart is captured by KGB boss Kennikan, a former antagonist who he accidentally emasculated during a gunfight. Kennikan politely offers Stewart a drink, and he orders a light one. Kennikan mocks Stewart for following regulations: If the opposition offers you a drink, always order a light one. Kennikan then informs Stewart that he may or may not kill him, but if Stewart does live, he won't be sleeping with women anymore. Stewart then asks for another glass, and Kennikan says he'll make it stronger this time.
• In Scoop, a City Mouse is in desperate need of a nice cold drink after becoming lost in the country and stumbling around for hours. Unfortunately his hosts assume from his dishevelled state that he must be drunk already and refuse to give him one.
• After Willoughby breaks Marianne's heart in Sense and Sensibility, family friend Mrs. Jennings breaks out a fine old wine that her late husband used to treat his gout. Elinor claims the glass for herself as Marianne is already asleep — having spent the day being horrified by the news of Willoughby and trying to console her sister, Elinor figures she might as well test its restorative claims on herself.
• In Sheep's Clothing, two close encounters with vampires in 24 hours drive Dic Meadows to whiskey to calm his nerves.
• Spenser: In the book Widow's Walk, Spenser and Rita Fiore deal with the stupidest person they have ever dealt with (in a series notorious for the level of stupidity possessed by the characters the protagonist sometimes encounters), and Rita says to him "I need a drink". After finishing up and leaving, they go directly to a bar and have two martinis each.
• Star Wars Legends:
  • Various characters at various points in Death Star, as the ethical implications of serving on an installation that destroys planets become keenly felt. Stated in Atour's narration, almost word for word.
  • Owning your own bar is an advantage at the end of a stressful day. In Star Wars: Kenobi, Annileen has Orrin pour her a glass as he's bartending after the Tusken raid on the Claim and the subsequent retaliation. Then she grabs the bottle and goes to bed.
• As the Stephanie Plum series progresses, this is an increasingly common response by Stephanie's mother to the antics of her own mother or her daughter.
• A Study in Charlotte: In the novel The Last of August, while bailing Jamie out of a difficult situation, Charlotte asks for wine because she's had a long day.
• Temeraire: Lawrence says this (though not in those exact words) when Temeraire brings up the subject of prostitutes. Specifically when he notes that the runner Emily Roland seemed rather young to seek their services.
• The villain camp in That Hideous Strength contains individuals of a varying levels of evil, but when "Fairy" Hardcastle, who has very little respect for anybody, absolutely refuses to face the Head without a stiff drink, you know that guy must be something worse. As it turns out later, "the Head" is a demon possessing a dead human head.
• Lightsong, a Physical God in Warbreaker, is rather fond of avoiding his godly responsibilities by trying to get drunk, despite his long-suffering high priest's (accurate) insistence that he is physically incapable of getting drunk.
• Whateley Universe: From "Ratel and Hum'', with Rachel's mom, who swaps a drink, for ice cream instead:
  "Dammit, I need a drink." Mother shook her head and muttered. "No, no. I'm not going to fall off the wagon over this one."
• In The Wheel of Time, after Min, Aviendha and Elayne bond Rand, Elayne decides to take this opportunity to finally bed Rand, Birgitte — who's bonded to Elayne and, like everyone else is aware of everything Elayne is doing and feeling through their bond — and the other two decide that yes, they do indeed need a drink, in the plural sense and as soon as can be arranged.
• The Winds of War/War and Remembrance: Pug Henry declares his need for a drink when his son Byron is still missing somewhere in Europe, his son Warren the fighter pilot has apparently been shot down in his plane, his wife Rhonda is leaving him, and his battleship was sunk shortly before he was scheduled to take command of it.
• In You Are Dead (Sign Here Please), Brian — repeatedly frustrated by his Only Sane Man status — very quickly descends into alcoholism as the series continues.
• Marlow, the narrator of "Youth", asks his friends to pass him the bottle of claret they are sharing at several points during his recollection of his first voyage as a second mate, aboard a clapped out wreck called the Judea. These moments tend to happen when he falls into bittersweet nostalgia, such as recalling that he never saw the captain's wife again after putting her on a train from Newcastle to London, or reflecting on what the Judea meant to his career as a sailor.

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