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Hypocritical Humor: Film
  • A classic version would be Chief Inspector Renault's "I am shocked, SHOCKED! to find gambling going on in this establishment!!" before pocketing his roulette winnings in Casablanca; in this case the juxtaposition is used to illustrate how flimsy a justification there is for shutting down Rick's.
  • Mean Girls has Regina George, who gained weight, told to "Watch where you're going, fatass!" by a very tall and fat girl.
  • Takes a dark turn in Crash: Ludacris' character Anthony is insulted by the sight of a white woman clinging to her husband's arm as she passes him and his friend and proceeds to go on a brief rant about how, being surrounded by over-caffeinated white people and trigger-happy cops who will think the worst of them even though they don't appear the slightest bit intimidating, he and Peter should have more reason to be afraid than anyone else. Why aren't they? Peter replies that it could be because they have guns. Anthony agrees, and the two proceed to carjack the couple.
  • In Mulan Chi-Fi says "...And I do not squeal like a girl!" (Panda eats Chi Fu's slipper and he squeals like a girl).
  • In Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, where Wallace and Scott are waiting outside Knives' school:
    Wallace:I hate you. Even I would think twice before dating a 17-year old.
    [...]
    Knives: (upon learning that Wallace is gay) Do you want to know who in my class is gay?
    Wallace: Yes. Does he wear glasses?
  • Harry Potter,
    • In a deleted scene from the first available on the DVD:
    Hermione: And what, may I ask, do you plan to do if this comes up on the final exam?
    Ron: Copy off you!
    Hermione: No you won't! Besides, according to Professor McGonagall, we're to be given special quills bewitched with an anti-cheating spell.
    Ron: That's insulting! It's as if they don't trust us!
    • Professor Umbridge is a living embodiment of this, in a disturbing sort of way..."here, write into your flesh the phrase I MUST NOT TELL LIES over and over while I spew a continuous stream of lies and misleading propaganda!"
  • Austin Powers: Austin is collecting some of his things from a clerk, the clerk gives him a penis enlarger. Austin denies it is his and claims he would never need such a thing. "This sort of thing isn't my bag, baby!" The clerk then proceeds to hand him things like his receipt of purchase and a photograph of him endorsing the enlarger. And his writing the book on the subject: Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger Pumps and Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag, Baby, By Austin Powers.
    • Austin Powers in Goldmember. The eponymous villain is the Dutchman Johann "Goldmember" Van Der Smut.
    Nigel Powers: There are two kinds of people that I can't stand: People who are intolerant of other peoples' cultures... and the Dutch.
  • In Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, the frequently adulterous Delysia and another equally adulterous friend are complaining about the friend's fiancee breaking it off after only suspecting her of having an affair:
    Delysia: Men are so untrusting. I can't think why.
  • A film version of Oliver Twist has the Work House's owners stuffing their faces full of rich food while whining about how the poor people are so greedy, with their talk of wanting more than one bowl of porridge and a bit of dry bread! How dare they!
    • Similar scenes (with varying degrees of subtlety) can be found in most media dealing with the rich-vs-poor dynamic.
  • The Boondock Saints: "Cuddle? What a fag."
  • "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"
  • In Hitchcock's Rear Window, Stella (Thelma Ritter) spends most of the film helping Jeff (Jimmy Stewart) and Lisa (Grace Kelly) prove that neighbor Raymond Burr, who they've been snooping on from afar, has murdered his wife. In the film's penultimate scene, after a cop asks Ritter if she'll help them dig up the body, she replies: "No thanks, I don't want any part of her!" (This might also be a Double Entendre, since the implication is that the body has been dismembered and possibly decapitated.)
  • The President's Analyst: A self-described "liberal" character mentions that his next-door neighbors are "real right-wingers, American flag up every day. Real fascists. Ought to be gassed!"
  • Death Race: The warden of the prison (Joan Allen) has a guard beat Jason Statham's character for saying the word "ass." She does this because, for her, "language is an issue." Later in the film, she says the phrase, "Okay cocksucker. Fuck with me, and we'll see who shits on the sidewalk."
  • Rather subtly used in The Incredibles. In the opening interview segments, each of the supers voiced opinions that they went on to contradict in the film itself:
    • Mr Incredible expresses annoyance that "No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again," and says that he'd like to settle down and start a family. But when the Super Registration Act is passed, Bob Parr has a harder time than anyone adjusting to civilian life, and is constantly itching to jump back into action.
    • And, naturally, the inverse applies to his wife, Helen, aka Elastigirl, who said that she wasn't about to settle down and leave the saving the world to the men; she adjusts to everyday life quite nicely.
    • This also applies nicely to Lucius Best, better known as Frozone. His (we can only assume) long-term marriage to the offscreen holy terror known as Honey seems to be the last thing his younger self would have gone for, if this quote is any indication:
      "Super-ladies? They're always trying to tell you their secret identities (they think it'll strengthen the relationship.) I say 'Girl, I don't even wanna know about your mild-mannered alter-ego or anything like that.' I mean, if you tell me you're a super-mega-ultra-lightning-babe, that's just fine with me. I'm good... I'm good."
  • Duck Soup. After rattling off jokes to Mrs. Teasdale:
    Groucho: You know you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle."
  • Sally's to-do list, in The Cat in the Hat's Film Of The Book:
    1. make a to-do list;
    2. Practice colouring;
    3. Research graduate schools.
    4. be spontaneous...
    Cat: And here we have a talking fish...
    Fish: Don't be idiots! Cats and fishes don't talk!
  • Yellowbeard. Tommy Chong does his best scenery chewing as "El Nebuloso", then says:
    El Nebuloso: Anyone caught overacting, I will personally scare to death!
  • But they complain and complain and complain...
  • When Indy first meets Mutt in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, he approves of Mutt's leaving school in order to find his own way in the world. Once he learns that Mutt is his son, practically the first words out of his mouth are "You're going back to school!"
  • In the Tony Hancock film The Rebel, Hancock has escaped from his office job to try and make it as an artist in Paris. He complains that everyone in his office dressed identically in pinstripe suits......to a group of identically dressed goth types who react with horror to the idea of a place where everyone dresses the same.
  • Pirates of the Caribbean. Jack's crew steals the Pearl in the final battle. The event is witnessed by two pirates, Rigetti and Pintel.
    Ragetti: Our ship's sailing away! Is it supposed to be doing that?
    Pintel: They're stealing our ship!
    Ragetti: ...BLOODY PIRATES!
  • Out Cold:
    Luke: Guys! A little sensitivity here. God! Can't you see this is a dejected man? Well, Rick get your dejected head out of your ass.
  • A small (and possibly justified) one in Mary Poppins. Mrs. Banks comes home from a suffragette rally and sings a song about how the suffragettes are fighting against men for women's rights then immediately tells the maid to hide the sashes since Mr. Banks doesn't approve of them.
  • Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy: "Don't you know I would never say the word fuck?! I would never fucking ever fucking say that! Ever!"
  • Daffy Duck on Donald Duck in Who Framed Roger Rabbit: "This is the latht time I work with thomeone with a thpeech impediment!"
  • Used to hilarious effect in the first The Naked Gun movie. After Officer Nordberg (O.J. Simpson) narrowly survives an attempt on his life, Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) assures Nordberg's wife that the men responsible for the attack will be brought to justice.
    Lt. Drebin: Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute until he's behind bars. (Turning, to his partner Ed) Now, let's grab a bite to eat.
  • And in the second The Naked Gun movie. Drebin and his boss Ed Hocken are making police inquiries in a sex shop:
    Drebin: We're looking for Hector Savage. Where is he?
    Woman behind the counter: Why should I tell you, copper?
    Drebin: Because I'm the last line of defense between sleaze like this and the decent people of this town.
    Male shop assistant emerging from the stockroom: Oh, hi, Frank. Say, we finally got that model D83 Swedish sure-grip suck machine that you ordered.
  • The Room: "I cannot tell you, it's confidential. Anyway, how's your sex life?" As with everything else in this movie, it's very unclear if it was meant to be funny.
  • Sister Act, when the three main nuns are having a midnight snack of ice cream in the kitchen with Mary Clarence.
    Mary Clarence: I know we shouldn't be doing this.
    Mary Lazarus: It's a sin, a wicked indulgence. (looks in the cartons in disappointment) Didn't they have any butter pecan?
  • In the film of The Princess Diaries Clarice gives Mia a Genovian ornament. Mia says "don't worry, I will take good care of it"...exactly as she is haphazardly stuffing it into her school bag.
  • In the movie Bridget Jones' Diary, Bridget has been receiving a series of flirty e-mail messages from her Handsome Lech boss Daniel Cleaver talking about her skirt, and she replies by pretending to take offense. Daniel sends her one final message:
    Mortified to have caused offense. Will avoid all non-P.C. overtones in future. Deeply apologetic.
    P.S. Like your tits in that top.
  • In the first Wayne's World, the two main characters say that it's wrong to sell out...while eating Pizza Hut pizza, Doritos, and covered in Reebok clothes.
  • In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade the film proper (after the prologue) introduces us to Indiana as a college professor. Every bit of his lecture to the college class is contradicted later in his search for the grail. "Maps never lead to buried treasure, x never marks the spot."
  • In Clerks, an unscrupulous gum salesman incites a near-riot among Dante's customers by accusing him of being equivalent to the Nazis because, like them, he's 'only following orders' by selling cigarettes. When he's exposed, one of the customers who was previously stirred into self-righteous outrage by this slinks up to the counter and sheepishly asks to buy... a pack of cigarettes.
  • In Tangled, during Mother Gothel's Villain Song she sings the line "Skip the drama/stay with mama", whilst coming down some candle-lined stairs in an elaborate fashion.
  • In Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure!, when Bill and Ted get drafted into Billy the Kid's poker game, Bill gently admonishes Ted to "have a poker face, like me". Not ten seconds later he looks at his cards and exclaims "Woah, three Aces, dude!"
  • In Mystery Team, Jason, Duncan, and Charlie are attempting to prove to Kelly that they're adult and professional enough to solve her parents' murder:
    Jason: We are mature and legitimate detectives.
    Kelly: What the hell is that smell?
  • In Clue, this is the basis for a Running Gag: whenever one of the other guests's crimes or indiscretions is revealed, Mrs. Peacock is not at all shy at loudly expressing her moral disapproval. Meanwhile, she spends her days working as a bagman for her husband, a politician who takes bribes in exchange for awarding defense contracts. This is especially pronounced with The Reveal that Colonel Mustard was a war profiteer and Miss Scarlet bribed a police officer to keep her brothel open.
  • Judge Dredd. Fergie's and Dredd's discussion while on the transport to the Aspen Penal Colony.
    Herman Ferguson: Dredd? What are you doing here?
    Judge Dredd: I was convicted of a crime. Wrongly.
    Herman: (laughs) That's kinda weird! What are the odds? Two wrongly convicted guys sitting right next to each other?
    Dredd: You received the sentence the law required.
    Herman: Five years? Just for saving my own ass? That was a mistake!
    Dredd: The law doesn't... make mistakes.
    Herman: Really? Then how do you explain what happened to you?
    (Dredd pauses)
    Herman: You can't, can you? Great. Mr. I-am-the-law can't. So maybe this is some kind of typo. Maybe it's a glitch. Or maybe it's poetic justice.
  • In Don't Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood, Angry Black Man Preach lambasts Ashtray and Loc Dog for using "nigger" in their vernacular, arguing that it demeans their entire race. Immediately after this he asks them to remind him that he still needs to pick up his laundry from "that chink motherfucker up the street".
  • The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh: "Ssssay, you oughtta do ssssomething about that sssspeech impediment, ssssonny."
  • Whilst inside the theater in the first Scary Movie, Brenda warns the rest of the audience not to talk during the movie, while merrily doing so herself. Her behaviour is so obnoxious that they resort to murdering her so they can enjoy the remainder of the presentation.
  • In The Comedy of Terrors, after Vincent Price's undertaker character learns that the widow of a man he killed in order to bring business to his funeral home has taken her husband's money and split for Europe without paying for the funeral services, he looks skyward and laments "Is there no morality left in this world?"
  • In The Woman, after the feral woman bites off Chris' finger, he yells at her to tell her that what she did was uncivilized. Coming from the man who's keeping a feral woman locked in his cellar.
  • In The Truman Show, at the end of an interview, the interviewer thanks Christof for his time, noting how he values his privacy, which is, in fact the one thing (besides honesty) he has denied Truman his whole life.
    • In the 'behind the scenes' clips, the actors and producers stress how the appeal of the show is how 'real' Truman and everything around him is, when even a surface glance at Truman's life reveals it to be almost entirely artificial, engineered and programmed. In fact, throughout the movie whenever Truman expresses his true self and doesn't follow the choices the producers have preconditioned him to make things fall apart very quickly and chaos results.
  • In Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Violet comments "Spitting's a dirty habit!" with her finger up her nose. Immediately lampshaded by Willy: "I know a worse one."
  • Sherlock Holmes has a scene in which Holmes advises Watson to 'save your bullets', moments before he fires his own revolver at a wall multiple times in an attempt to subdue the villain.
    • In the sequel, Holmes accuses Watson of showing poor manners towards Simza after she offers them hospitality; Watson takes umbrage with being lectured on manners by the man who threw his fiancee out of a speeding train and into a lake.
      • Actually, he took umbrage with being lectured by the man who threw his newly wedded wife out of the train. Holmes also pulls another one later one at the camp, when he tells Watson not to drink anything their hosts give them...then takes a swig from the bottle of alcohol they've just handed him.
  • In The Avengers, Tony Stark ridicules Loki for being a 'full tilt diva'. He notices it himself mid-sentence.
  • In Spaceballs, while they're escaping from the prison complex, Vespa is tossed a gun, but says that she hates guns. Then her hair is singed by stray blaster fire. She then proceeds to gun down all of the mooks trying to stop them.
  • In Jack the Giant Slayer Wicke asks Roderick, after just pushing a soldier to his death, "Why do people always bother screaming before they die?". Ironically, a giant grabs him moments later, and he screams until said giant bites his head off.
  • In The Road Warrior, the Gyro Captain, upon learning the man he was planning to ambush and kill has been bluffing him with a unloaded shotgun: "Empty, all this time! That's dishonest! Low."
  • Don Jon explains new technology items to his family and friends, incredulous that they haven't heard of them yet. Then, halfway through the movie, the tables are turned when his girlfriend has to explain that his web browser has a "history".
  • In the prologue of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Frodo tells Bilbo that people think he's becoming "unsociable." Bilbo scoffs at this, and then orders Frodo to put up the sign "No Admittance Except On Party Business".
  • Lolita (1997). Pedophile Humbert does his Overprotective Dad routine when he sees Dolores talking to a strange man.
    Humbert: Lo, you're very young and you don't realise that people could take advantage of you.
  • In Dumb and Dumber Harry talks about a girlfriend who dumped him:
    Harry: Yeah I called her up. She gave a bunch of crap about not me listening to her enough or something... I don't know I wasn't really paying attention.
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