Funny / Warriors Orochi

  • In general from first two games, the more you unlock characters, more unique lines you can see from pre or post-battle dialogues. What mostly makes this funny if a character that is completely unrelated/unaffiliated to the stage or faction suddenly appeared out-of-nowhere in the pre/post-battle dialogue. For example, Shingen Takeda is affiliated with Samurai faction, but he can appear in post-battle dialogue for Battle of Wu Territory (story battle for Shu faction), in which he snarks Yuan Shao for forgetting where Liu Bei is imprisoned. This is especially hilariously nonsense if you don't play as Shingen in your team for that stage.
  • This line from Huang Zhong:
    Huang Zhong: "I was being kidnapped by evil snake gods and forced to fight battles before you were even out of the cradle!"
  • Also in the first game's battle of He Fei, when Masamune summons Keiji...
    Keiji: "All right! In the name of our creepy, evil snake overlord!"
  • From the second Shu gaiden mission.
    Zhang He: "You're supposed to be a woman. Where's your sense of grace?"
    Ginchiyo: "You're supposed to be a warrior. Where's your sense of masculinity?"
  • From the fifth Samurai Warriors mission in 2.
    Zhang Jiao: Yes be free my brother so we can spread the might of our glorious force!
    Kanetsugu: Yes long live the Yellow Turbans... wait that's not right?
  • The dream mode mission with Okuni, Meng Huo and Goemon in 2. Okuni wants to collect money for her shrine and she asked Meng Huo and Goemon to help her. Meng Huo asks her wife, Zhu Rong for some money but Inahime thinks he is cheating her with Okuni. Cue explanatory ass-kicking. Later, she extorts money from Cao Pi and Magoichi, helps some villagers and finally, steals from Hideyoshi's castle.
  • From Warriors Orochi 1, Yuan Shao attacks the Shu forces, because he thinks they are ghosts.
    Yoshimoto Imagawa: "Huh? What would make you ever think I'm dead?"
    Yuan Shao: "O, pitious soul. It is not even aware that it has died!"
    • Also when you rescue him later, he still believes his enemies are ghosts. Then Yukimura responds him with Disapproving Look and he is as if he was facepalming.
    Yuan Shao: "They look quite pale... Are you sure they aren't ghosts?"
    Yukimura: "Oh, please..."
    • Later after you rescue Yuan Shao and finish the stage, there's also funny dialogue when Yuan Shao is upset because his rescuers was expecting Liu Bei instead of him. However, he still shows some honor and willing to pay his debt by claiming he knows where Liu Bei is being held hostage. The problem is he forget where it is. Then any random character will make funny remark to show how much irritated they are to Yuan Shao. The following are some funniest comments from them:
    Wei Yan: "You... stupid..."
    Dian Wei: "Can I be the one to rip his head off?"
    Xiahou Yuan: "Someone hold me back, before I do something I might regret... Except, I probably wouldn't regret it."
    Huang Gai: "You want me to jog your memory?"
    Da Qiao: "If it weren't so unladylike, I'd... Well, I'd do something I might regret later!"
    Ling Tong: "Who votes we put him back in? One, two, three..."
    Taishi Chi: *sounds hesitating on his decision* "...Mustn't kill him..."
    Meng Huo: "...How come no one's pounding him?"
    Goemon Ishikawa: "Oh, I just wanna punch ya!"
    Magoichi Saika: "This is why I prefer the company of ladies."
    Hideyoshi Toyotomi: "Maybe if we pretend we didn't see him, we won't have to take him with us."
    Shingen Takeda: "Hahaha... very good. Very good, yes! But seriously, where is he?"
  • Of course there is this gem from Sima Yi, Masamune Date, and Mitsunari Ishida's Dream Stage.
    Sima Yi: Imbeciles!
    Masamune Date: Imbeciles!
    Mitsunari Ishida: I'm not saying it.
  • In Warriors Orochi 3, there's also this gem when Guo Jia tried to hit on both Ina and Xingcai... in front of Tadakatsu and Zhang Fei. The result is predictable.
  • This conversation between Kai and Kunoichi in 3.
    Kai: Hey, you! Come with me.
    Kai: Training! I was talking about training! You're impossible!
  • From the third game, at the Battle of Luo Castle, Lianshi and Aya go to cause a disruption in the Wei forces... only to find Okuni there causing a disruption already, tearing her way through Zhong Hui's forces in an attempt to get close enough to be affectionate. Zhong Hui rejects her and tries to flee, but that just encourages her. And then, at the end, when she finally gets Zhong Hui, she decides he wasn't worth it after all. Zhong Hui's expression is PRICELESS!
  • The special bonds conversations in the third game have countless examples of this, from Da Ji and Orochi doing a Little Red Riding Hood routine to Diaochan asking for a strand of Dong Zhuo's hair so she can curse him with what's implied to be a voodoo doll while claiming it's for a beneficial spell.
  • In the first game, Zhuge Liang and any player character (except Zhao Yun who got different cutscene) confront Orochi with Liu Bei behind him. Orochi threatens Liu Bei, who asks them to drop their weapons. Zhuge Liang simply steps over and bitch-slaps Liu Bei in the face with his fan, revealing it to be a ruse by the illusionist Da Ji. Made all the funnier by Zhuge Liang's calm demeanor in the whole affair. Watch!
    • Even funnier in that video, where there's this comment from a Youtuber:
    Liu Bei: "Please, do what he says and drop your weapons."
    Zhuge liang: (attacks Da Ji!Liu Bei) "Outthought, and outfought."
    Zhao Yun: "I shall match your exploits!"
  • In The Third game during one scenario, Sima Yi is called a dimwit, his response is classic.
    "You dare call me a dimwit? Imbecile! You are the dimmest dimwit this world has ever seen!"
    • Both Sima Yi and Masamune Date have a few hilarious moments together, namely in the stage where you get Gracia. Before the stage even begins they are both calling themselves idiot to the point where Date gets tired of it. And that's not even getting started to the cutscene one they rescue Gracia...
  • Saika Magoichi, in his usual Casanova Wannabe fashion, tries to hit on every girl he meets, and receives resolute rejections from almost every single of them, much to his dismay and the player's amusement.
  • WO3's Battle of Tong Gate, when Sima Zhao (who is characterized in the Dynasty Warriors series as a slacker whose Catch-Phrase is "what a bother") reaches Wei' main camp.
    Sima Shi: Zhao, why are you colluding with Da Ji?
    Sima Zhao: Um, well, you see...
    Sima Shi: It's too much of a bother to explain, is it?
    Sima Zhao: Hold on, brother! I never said anything like that!
    • And later, when they've returned after travelling back in time to ensure Diao Chan survives Tong Gate, they have to fight this battle once more, Zhao is none too pleased about it.
    Sima Zhao: Ergh...I have to face father again? I kind of saw it coming, but what a bother...
  • MANY DLC stages in third game are very funny and entertaining, really.
    • "Manhunt" stages involves Kai and Okuni who drag the reluctant Kaguya along to find a man to be their husbands after they heard all men in there want to marry strong woman. They go fighting and defeating Cao Pi, Guan Suo, and Muneshige Tachibana. Unsurprisingly, those men's Violently Protective Wives, Zhenji, Bao Sanniang, and Ginchiyo Tachibana are undestandably angry and attack the player's trio. After the trio defeat those angry wives, the latter three pull out What the Hell, Hero? to the former three for trying to steal their husbands by force. Kai and Okuni insist that's because all those men are Amazon Chaser, which the three wives angrily insist the trio has been given false information. Of course, that false information are actually given to Kai and Okuni from Hideyoshi Toyotomi. And as if that was not enough, Nene also appear to punish her lusftful husband personally.
    • "Keiji's Theme", depict Keiji's attempt to find his own theme song. Undestandable, since before Tadakatsu's introduction in Samurai Warriors, Keiji was Lu Bu's equivalent. Yet, he never got his own theme song while Tadakatsu got his own.
      • The funniest part is upon confronting Zhong Hui, this silly music is playing and the game's message claim it's Zhong Hui's theme song, much to his dismay. Another is Diamondback, the Ensemble Darkhorse of serpent generic with his infamously Small Name, Big Ego trait, self-proclaims this epic asskicking music to be his own. Keiji is less than impressed. And the final other is Lu Bu. After defeated him, Keiji refused the music to be his own because he thinks it doesn't suit him at all. Lu Bu is then angered because he considers that as an insult.
    • "Stop, Thief!" is basically a similar stage with Family Feud in Dynasty Warriors 7, except that you are in Sima Shi's side and some Samurai Warriors characters are also involved.
    • "Mystic Love", where Guo Jia and Magoichi Saika's Casanova Wannabe is taken Up to Eleven when they try to charm and flirt immortal women from Mystics Army. Nu Wa is just too arrogant to accept them, and even called her brother/husband Fu Xi to aid her in eliminating the duo. Sanzang is just too shy to greet them and refuse to let them enter her garrison, and while the duo are trying to sneak from the back door, Sun Wukong suddenly appeared out of nowhere to protect his lady. Gracia (who is simply there because she's on her own travel) is just too happy to be able to reunite with her pal Mago again, and almost accepted Guo Jia as her new friend (even if she didn't know Guo Jia meant 'friend' in different definition) before Daddy Mitsuhide appeared to protect his young daughter. And finally, Kaguya is completely oblivious about the duo's true intention, before Kai appeared to help her new mystic friend and revealed the two men's naughty intention on her.
    • One stage involves rescuing Guo Huai from Meng Huo and The Nanzhong tribe. Apparently due to his sick complexion and pale skin they think he's a ghost.
  • In Honnoji stage in the first game, the intermission dialogue have Nobunaga said some very complicated words: "Encircle, eviscerate, and extirpate the odious ophidians!" Then, a random character will make some comments from that. The following are some funniest comments about that Nobunaga's words:
    Zhang Fei: "Are you feeling all right? I got a good home remedy for that - take one large meat cleaver, stick out your tongue..."
    Huang Zhong: "...I just can't keep up with the language of young people these days..."
    Dian Wei: "Umm, was that some mysterious eastern language?"
    Gan Ning: "What did you just call me? Huh?"
    Xiao Qiao: "Wow... You use some really long words. Is that so no one else understands you?"
    Lu Bu: "Your long-winded explanations give me a headache. Make sure you keep your mouth shut on the battlefield!"
    Dong Zhuo: "Get to the point, you raving madman! You're putting me to sleep!"
    Meng Huo: "That's a lot of long words there... If you weren't on my side, I'd be smashing you by now..."
    Goemon Ishikawa: "Whazza? I don't understand what you're saying, but I get what you mean! Uh, I think!"
    Okuni: "Are you using all those big words just to impress me...? How adorable!"
    Magoichi Saika: "Y'know, the ladies don't like a guy they can't understand."
  • Teeth Clenched Team Work - Both Sima Yi and Masamune Date really have a difficult time to be getting along with each other. Any stage where they're both present, especially in third game, you are assured to see them insulting each other with their incidentally-exactly same catchphrase: "Imbecile!"
  • Thanks to the Affinitiy System in the third game, you can now get any playable characters, even the Big Bads to show up at your camp and hold a party, unlocking special conversations with them which leads to numerous "Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu?" moments that are quite hilarous to witness, example:
    Orochi X: "Everything will be destroyed."
    Dong Zhuo: "You fool! If you destroy everything, then there won't be anything left, includes anything worth stealing!"
    Dong Zhuo: "Violence is only a mean to an end, it should not be committed for its own sake!"
    • Dude, you sure got a lot of guts there, Dong Zhuo...
  • In the first game for Samurai story, if you approach Sun Shangxiang with Hideyoshi, he will mistake her for Nene. The dialogue between them is pretty funny.
    Hideyoshi: "Ah? Nene? No, it can't be!"
    Sun Shangxiang: "Hey, don't look at me like that! And who's Nene?!"
    Hideyoshi: (doesn't seem to hear her) "This can't be good, I never even win an argument against Nene!"
  • Li Ru once again delivers this gem:
    Li Ru: "I will teach you the basics of strategy." *Li Ru is defeated "Some you win, some you lose."
  • In Warriors Orochi 2 during a Dream Stage Nene comes across Jiang Wei in the opposing army and scolds him like he's her son, only for him to respond that she's not his Mother.
  • During a Dream Stage in 2 featuring Oichi, Sun Shang Xiang, and Da Qiao rescuing their husbands from peril. You find out Nagamasa has been turned to stone by Da Ji, then Okuni appears and decides to take the statue with her.
    Oichi: Don't you dare touch that stone-I mean my husband!
    • Also on the same stage, when all the husbands have been rescued, and the allied army begins to attack Da Ji's main camp. As Da Ji begins to bolt out, all three allied wives begin pitying Da Ji for being unable to find someone to start a relationship, and may never even be able to get married at all. The statements immediately cause Da Ji to return back to camp.
  • In Warriors Orochi 3, Sanzang keeps mistaking Hideyoshi for Wukong, because of his monkey-ness. Hee hee.
    • The joke reaches its peak in the stage where you rescue her; she teams up with Hideyoshi (Sun Wukong), Ling Tong (Sha Wujing), and Goemon (Zhu Bajie) for a miniature Journey to the West.
  • Nearly every interaction with Zhuge Dan is at his expense. Examples include Taigong Wang looking down on him, Sakon Shima mocking his serious face, or the female officers deliberately trying to annoy him.
  • In 3 when Kanetsugu is under Kiyomori's mind control, one of his lines is just him repeatedly saying "Righteousness".
  • One of the joke weapons in 3 is "Zhong Hui's Dryer."
  • From the first game, play Wu's story stage, Battle of Osaka Castle and do your best to finish it. Yes, it's very annoying stage, so prepare for a long battle. Nevertheless, when you finished it, there's a cutscene where your leading character (read: the first character in your team), Sun Jian, and Sun Ce are surrounded by Orochi's forces. Depending on who your leading character is, many of them have unique or hilarious lines. Most of them offers to distract the enemy forces and let Sun Jian and Sun Ce to escape by themselves. Dong Zhuo, on the other hand:
    Sun Ce: Arghh, we're surrounded!
    Dong Zhuo: One of you two! Stay behind and stop them!
    Sun Jian: That is my place. It has always been my duty to protect the weak.
    Dong Zhuo: Damn straight!
    • You can even play the stage as Sun Ce or Sun Jian! So the cutscene will have two Sun Ces or Sun Jians, depending on who your team's leader is. Their respective line is pure gold! This is from the scene with two Sun Jians:
    Sun Ce: Arghh, we're surrounded!
    Sun Jian #1note : Keep going! I'll make these fools regret challenging the Tiger of Jiang Dong!
    Sun Jian #2 note : That is my place. It has always been my duty to protect the weak.
    Sun Jian #1: Who do you think you are, anyway...?
    • And this is from the scene with two Sun Ces:
    Sun Ce #2 note : Arghh, we're surrounded!
    Sun Ce #1 note : We can't afford to lose here. It will be me, go!
    Sun Jian: That is my place. It has always been my duty to protect the weak.
    Sun Ce #1: This makes no sense...
    Sun Jian: Worry not! They shall not break me, for I fight with the tiger's rage! You heard me! Now go!
    Sun Ce #2: Understood. I'm gone!
    Sun Ce #1: Something is really wrong about this!
  • Magoichi keeps forcing the Xiahou brothers to play the Straight Man to his Chivalrous Pervert antics, and it's hilarious either way, whether he's opposite the Boisterous Bruiser Xiahou Yuan or The Comically Serious Xiahou Dun.
    Magoichi: "You're a handsome fella... Do you wanna be my wingman?"
    Xiahou Dun: ...I want to spend as little time with you as possible.
  • During the final stage of 3: Ultimate, Cao Pi, Kiyomasa and Guo Jia chase after Kyubi. After defeating her the first time, this dialogue appears
    Cao Pi: We have won. Now, to seal her back in the mirror.
    Messenger: My lord! Kyubi has appeared within the castle. She appears to be moving to the northwest!
    Cao Pi: What?
  • Battle of Yi Ling in The First Game, Xiahou Yuan opens the stage up with this gem.
    Xiahou Yuan: Our lord disappears and is everyone's all 'All hail Orochi, we love you Orochi!'
  • Yoshitsune Minamoto encounters Ayane during the Battle of Hasedo. After a little fighting back and forth, he notices her exposed chest and effectively says, "Please Put Some Clothes On!" It doesn't faze her.
    • It becomes a Running Gag in the DLC levels as at least two of them involve Yoshitsune trying to find some new clothes for Ayane.
  • Dream Stage in Warriors Orochi 2 PSP: Play the stage where Benkei is reunited with Yoshitsune, but unfortunately they are on opposing sides. Then defeat Yoshitsune by using Benkei. And this unintentionally funny dialogue is what happened when scripted quote is continued with 'generic' (e.g. "enemy officer defeated") quote:
    Yoshitsune: You'll pay for this, Benkei..."
    Benkei: "But, my lord..." [beat] "Another weapon for my collection!"
  • In 3, in Sima Zhao's first stage where he saved his wife Wang Yuanji, it's clear that Yuanji was happy that he saved her, but she immediately got back to her Tsundere mode, prompting Zhao to say his Catch-Phrase, "Why do I even bother.."
  • One DLC level in 3 Ultimate has the heroes preparing to stave off an invasion from Orochi's army, except they first have to deal with four squabbling couples and get them to resolve their problems first.
  • Another DLC level has Okuni and Kai drag Kaguya along in their search for prospective husbands. In a heartwarming addition, Kaguya is grateful that Kai is willing to help her out that much.
  • Yet another DLC level involves playing as Dong Zhuo and kidnapping several of the women to help create his paradise. Of course it doesn't last long.
  • Sima Shi and Masamune Date have had their "most prized possession" stolen and team up with Goemon to track down the thief. After beating up everyone they come across (and Goemon questioning their methods), they catch the real thieves and the player learns what was stolen: their meat buns. Pure Serious Business at its finest.
  • A Dummied Out example: In the Wei story for 1 during Odawara stage, Mitsunari had to face Phantom Hideyoshi instead of Phantom Hideyori. Too bad Koei inexplicably changed it into Hideyori. It's even funnier if Nene is in your team. Then this exchange happens:
    Phantom Hideyoshi: "Any who oppose my mistress Da Ji will have to face the wrath of the monkey!"
    Mitsunari: "Lady Nene won't like hearing you said that."
    Phantom Hideyoshi: "Nene's beauty is no match compared to my mistress Da Ji!"
    Mitsunari: "The real Hideyoshi should be more afraid than that."
    • And if you defeat him while Nene is in your team:
    Nene: "Unforgivable! Even if you're a fake!"