Funny / The Sopranos

General / unsorted

Season 1

  • The episode "A Hit Is A Hit", especially when Tony relates his John Gotti ice cream story.
  • Brendan's bungled hijacking, especially Brendan's reaction when the driver accidentally gets shot.
  • Junior: "Did you hear about the Chinese Godfather? He made them an offer they couldn't understand."
  • "We had coffee"
  • Dr. Melfi accidentally referring to Pussy as "Booty" during a session with Tony.
  • Pussy grumbles while playing hearts: "I've eaten more queens than Lancelot."

Season 2

  • Tony goes to a new shrink and claims that waste management is his line of work. The guy is Genre Savvy, rejects the complicated mobster and points out he has seen Analyze This. Tony unsuccessfully tries to argue that the movie was a fucking comedy.
  • Paulie, when Tony finds out Don Zi Vittorio, the man he wanted make a deal with in Italy is senile:
    Paulie: Ton, you give this guy a golf club, he'll probably try to fuck it.
  • Silvio flips out when Matthew Bevilacqua tries to sweep up the crumbs beneath his seat in "The Happy Wanderer". It's pretty epic.
  • The scene where Richie Aprile has a truckload of garbage dumped in the parking lot of a deli, simply because the owner complained about missed pick-ups. The owner's reactions are priceless.
    Iranian Deli Owner: You are speaking shit to me!
  • A hard day at the office: the mobsters doing absolutely nothing.
  • All of Tony's fever dreams from "Funhouse". Especially:
    • The one where Tony is in Dr. Melfi's office, they confess feelings of sexual attraction to each other, and then they make love on a desk.
    • The one where Tony is speaking to Pussy (who is in the body of a talking fish). However this is also foreshadowing about Pussy's death; in other terms, "sleeping with the fishes".
  • Paulie visiting a psychic is hilarious. Especially when the guy seems to be in contact with Paulie's victims:
    Psychic: Poison ivy? He wants to know if it still itches?
    Paulie: Don't fuck with me! Who you been talkin' to?

Season 3

  • After Janice steals Svetlana's prosthetic leg, Svetlana angrily curses about Janice in Russian, calling her a "slut sow".
    • Svetlana retaliates by hiring two Russian thugs to force Janice to return the leg. Seeing one of them punch Janice is both amusing and satisfying.
      • Eventually, Tony himself avenges this incident by beating up the Russian goon who hit Janice. Afterwards, Tony places the unconscious Russian in a Christmas store display.
  • And Janice's narcoleptic religious boyfriend Aaron: "Have you heard the good news? He is risen." *falls asleep*
    • Or when he comes to Carmella's birthday party, and Tony tries to offer him champagne.
    Aaron: No champagne for me. The good Lord doesn't want us to drink alcohol.
    Tony: Didn't Jesus drink wine?
    Janice: Yeah, but...he was Jesus, Ton. We can't compare.
  • Christopher's drug-fueled eulogy at Livia's wake.
  • Tony's response to Meadow's boyfriend Noah Tannenbaum, AKA Jamal Ginsberg the Hassidic Homeboy, AKA the Oreo Cookie.
  • When Bobby and Vito are standing next to each other, Paulie remarks:
    "Look at this, it's like an advert for Weight Watchers! Before... and way before!"
  • All of "Pine Barrens", especially this gem:
    Christopher: For all we know he could be out there stalking us.
    Paulie: With what? His cock?
  • Furio gets treated by a real "prick doctor" : "While you're here maybe he can give you a bulge" and "Doc, see if you can remove this ladies underwear"
  • One kid revolting against "Bobby Claus": "Fuck You Santa!"
  • In the end of the season finale episode, when Meadow threw something at Junior while he's singing, she sings "Oops, I did it again" and then suddenly ran out after Tony turns around at her.
  • All the scenes involving Big Mouth Billy Bass and Tony's, ahem, issues with it. Then on Christmas day he opens Meadow's gift, and finds she has bought him... a Big Mouth Billy Bass

Season 4

Season 5

  • The bear in episode 1.
  • "Hey, you're Annette Benning!".
  • Junior absentmindedly wandering around the city in "Where's Johnny?".
  • When Paulie first meets Finn, he asks "Shaggy" to clean dog feces off his tires and threatens to knock his teeth out. His facial expression when he finds out he's Meadow's boyfriend is priceless. He then he proceeds to suck up to him. 100% Paulie in a nutshell.
  • A discussion about Billy Budd. A close call between Carmela's clueless rant about homosexuality and Tony's "no offense", assuming one of Meadow's friends is gay and the ensuing disbelief when the boy replies he's not gay.
  • Tony B calling Paulie Grampa Munster.
    • And telling Paulie to "let the first coat dry before putting the second coat on".
  • Larry David from Curb Your Enthusiasm doing a crossover in Junior's mind. The resemblance is certainly there.
  • Phil saying he's from AA and then replying "we are anonymous" when asked for his name during his otherwise horrible harassment of Chris' mother.
  • Episode 4, AJ comes home after a drug feasted night out and no eyebrows. Tony enquires what happened leading to the priceless line of Poppers and weird sex. Carmella's facial reaction nails it.

Season 6

  • The "enlighted" discussions about Vito allegedly being an "ass muncher" Crosses the Line Twice and then some more.
    Think about it, though, Ton'. Sudden weight loss... AIDS!?
    Tony: Nobody got AIDS!
    Gervasi: Catching, not pitching
    Chris: It'll be ok, we'll get him to pay for some therapy...
    Tone... when he was always talking about greasing the Union, who knew that's what he meant"
  • Vito is stuck in a boring handyman job, constantly trying to resist the temptation to look at his watch to see when his lunch break is. Finally he convinces himself it's almost noon with the sun's position, but then sees on his watch that it's still more than an hour away and screams "FUCK ME!"
  • Vito returns:
    Vito: It was the medication I was on. For my blood pressure. It fucked with my head, but I'm over that now. I could probably get a letter from my doctor
    Tony: A note from your doctor saying you don't like to suck cock?
  • Burt and Patsy's attempt to shake down the manager of a Starbucks Expy for protection, as they realize he can't pay them off because he has to account for all expenditures through the corporate office, and there are too many locations for corporate to care about vandalism. The two leave, and Patsy laments "It's over for the little guy."
  • "He Marving Gayed his own nephew". Vito summarizing the incident between Junior and Tony, black comedy at its finest.
  • Fat Dom making gay jokes at Jersey's expense... what could possibly go wrong?. Hilarity ensues. It gets better when Tony shows up and does his WTF? routine while Carlo tries to sheepishly cover his own ass.
    Carlo: Sil hit him first...
  • Bobby offers to help a rapper win some street cred by having getting him shot, aiming for a fleshy part of his thigh to minimize injury. But when he receives one thousand dollars short of the asking fee for the job, Bobby proceeds to shoot the rapper in the equally fleshy ass instead, all while dressing up like an obese street thug.
  • "Ever think what a coincidence it is that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig's disease?" - Christopher, yet again.
  • The doublespeak problems of Johhny Sack's brother-in-law.
    Johnny: An actual fucking cake!
  • Carmine Jr. trying the "Uncle Philly" soft approach, only to taste Phil's usual niceties : "Uncle Philly my ass!".
  • Phil gets nicknamed "The Shah of Iran". Later topped when Phil, "everloving extraordinaire" takes offense to it when he's summing up why Jersey sucks. Being compared -and quite benigngly- to Royalty seems to infuriate him the most!.
  • Hearing Lauren Bacall drop an F-bomb, twice.
  • The awkward game of Monopoly between Tony, Carmela, Janice and Bobby.
  • Phil calls Rusty Millio "the Mayor of MunchkinLand".
  • Phil Leotardo's death is just too ridiculous to take seriously.