Funny: The Sopranos
General / unsorted
- Anytime someone talks about Christopher in a less than pleasant manner, you will laugh until your sides hurt (and it's not like this is a comedy series, y'know). Christopher has been referred to as a "constipated owl" and "the only man who can smoke a cigarette in the rain".
- Pretty much everything involving Paulie Walnuts. Psychopathic Manchild and Heroic Comedic Sociopath, all in one.
- Junior also got funnier as the series and his dementia worsened.
- The numerous malapropisms (see main), particularly the ones from Little Carmine aka Brainless the Second, who juxtaposes "The sacred and the propane".
- The episode "A Hit Is A Hit", especially when Tony relates his John Gotti ice cream story.
- Brendan's bungled hijacking, especially Brendan's reaction when the driver accidentally gets shot.
- Junior: "Did you hear about the Chinese Godfather? He made them an offer they couldn't understand."
- "We had coffee"
- Dr. Melfi accidentally referring to Pussy as "Booty" during a session with Tony.
- Paulie, when Tony finds out Don Zi Vittorio, the man he wanted make a deal with in Italy is senile:
Paulie: Ton, you give this guy a golf club, he'll probably try to fuck it.
- Silvio flips out when Matthew Bevilacqua tries to sweep up the crumbs beneath his seat in "The Happy Wanderer". It's pretty epic.
- The scene where Richie Aprile has a truckload of garbage dumped in the parking lot of a deli, simply because the owner complained about missed pick-ups. The owner's reactions are priceless.
Iranian Deli Owner: You are speaking shit to me!
- A hard day at the office: the mobsters doing absolutely nothing.
- And Janice's religious boyfriend Aaron: "Have you heard the good news? He is risen." *falls asleep*
Aaron: No champagne for me. The good Lord doesn't want us to drink alcohol.
- Or when he comes to Carmella's birthday party, and Tony tries to offer him champagne.
Tony: Didn't Jesus drink wine?
Janice: Yeah, but...he was Jesus, Ton. We can't compare.
- Christopher's drug-fueled eulogy at Livia's wake.
- Tony's response to Meadow's boyfriend Noah Tannenbaum, AKA Jamal Ginsberg the Hassidic Homeboy, AKA the Oreo Cookie.
- Ralphie. "I HAVE COME TO RECLAIM ROME FOR MY PEOPLE!"
- All of "Pine Barrens," especially this gem:
Christopher: For all we know he could be out there stalking us.Paulie: With what? His cock?
- Furio gets treated by a real "prick doctor" : "While you're here maybe he can give you a bulge" and "Doc, see if you can remove this ladies underwear"
- One kid revolting against "Bobby Claus": "Fuck You Santa!"
- In the end of the season finale episode, when Meadow threw something at Junior while he's singing, she sings "Oops, I did it again" and then suddenly ran out after Tony turns around at her.
- Christopher's drug intervention, which ends up with him being pounded six ways to Sunday. Then Tony ices the cakes at ER.
Tony: "Well, he was wearing socks."
Tony: You killed little Cosset! I oughta suffocate you, you little prick!
- The guys don't seem that pissed off. Until they find out he accidentally fell asleep and suffocated the dog. Then they get pissed.
- Christopher reaction to Tony's speech about playing the minority-victim card: "He was gay, Gary Cooper?"
- Vito breaks a chair and falls off like a dead elephant.
- The bear in episode 1.
- "Hey, you're Annette Benning!".
- When Paulie first meets Finn, he asks "Shaggy" to clean dog feces off his tires and threatens to knock his teeth out. His facial expression when he finds out he's Meadow's boyfriend is priceless. He then he proceeds to suck up to him. 100% Paulie in a nutshell.
- A discussion about Billy Budd. A close call between Carmela's clueless rant about homosexuality and Tony's "no offense", assuming one of Meadow's friends is gay and the ensuing disbelief when the boy replies he's not gay.
- Tony B calling Paulie Grampa Munster.
- Larry David from Curb Your Enthusiasm doing a crossover in Junior's mind. The resemblance is certainly there.
- Phil saying he's from AA and then replying "we are anonymous" when asked for his name during his otherwise horrible harassment of Chris' mother.
- The "enlighted" discussions about Vito allegedly being an "ass muncher" Crosses the Line Twice and then some more.
Think about it, though, Ton'. Sudden weight loss... AIDS!?
Tony: Nobody got AIDS!
Gervasi: Catching, not pitching
Chris: It'll be ok, we'll get him to pay for some therapy...
Tone... when he was always talking about greasing the Union, who knew that's what he meant"
- Vito is stuck in a boring handyman job, constantly trying to resist the temptation to look at his watch to see when his lunch break is. Finally he convinces himself it's almost noon with the sun's position, but then sees on his watch that it's still more than an hour away and screams "FUCK ME!"
- Vito returns:
Vito: It was the medication I was on. For my blood pressure. It fucked with my head, but I'm over that now. I could probably get a letter from my doctor
Tony: A note from your doctor saying you don't like to suck cock?
- Burt and Patsy's attempt to shake down the manager of a Starbucks Expy for protection, as they realize he can't pay them off because he has to account for all expenditures through the corporate office, and there are too many locations for corporate to care about vandalism. The two leave, and Patsy laments "It's over for the little guy."
- "He Marving Gayed his own nephew". Vito summarizing the incident between Junior and Tony, black comedy at its finest.
- Fat Dom making gay jokes at Jersey's expense... what could possibly go wrong?. Hilarity ensues. It gets better when Tony shows up and does his WTF? routine while Carlo tries to sheepishly cover his own ass.
Carlo: Sil hit him first...
- Bobby helping a rapper get some street cred by shooting him, in the ass.
- "Ever think what a coincidence it is that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig's disease?" - Christopher, yet again.
- The doublespeak problems of Johhny Sack's brother-in-law.
Johnny: An actual fucking cake!
- Carmine Jr. trying the "Uncle Philly" soft approach, only to taste Phil's usual niceties : "Uncle Philly my ass!".
- Phil gets nicknamed "The Shah of Iran". Later topped when Phil, "everloving extraordinaire" takes offense to it when he's summing up why Jersey sucks. Being compared -and quite benigngly- to Royalty seems to infuriate him the most!.
- Hearing Lauren Bacall drop an F-bomb, twice.
- The awkward game of Monopoly between Tony, Carmela, Janice and Bobby.