Funny / TableTop

"It's amazing that the dice hate me even when I'm not rolling them."

General:

• Any time Wil has a meltdown. Bonus points if it includes a Cluster F-Bomb attack.
• Anything involving "The Dick & Pickle".
  Wil: Also, strangely, at the Dick & Pickle, they serve a white Russian, but they don't actually put it in a glass, they put it in a super soakers; you just have to catch as much of it in your mouth as you can.
• Wil doing the "Math Dance".
• Will accusing any of his guest doing magic whenever they have improbable good luck such as Ryan Higa during Zombie Dice.

Specific Episodes:

• Ticket to Ride: During the scoring phase, Wil calls upon the resident Rules Lawyer.
  Boyan Radakouich: We have four. I'm glad we're counting because if you guys win by one or two, I want to make sure it's right.
  Anne Wheaton: And whoever wins gets a Rolex!! (fist-pounds table)
  All the Little Trains whose Positions on the Board Determines the Points: (go flying)
  Anne Wheaton: Oh [BLEEP]!
  • On his blog, Wil mentioned that the image on the Wheaton family Christmas cards that year was a still of all the players' reactions post-slam.
• Wil accusing Ryan of using magic after he keeps guessing what dice he'll get before he draws them, four or five times in a row.
• The Pandemic episode ending. Nobody wins.^note a) this is very common for Pandemic, and b) They all lost in multiple ways at the same time...also very common for Pandemic Wil walks over to the game box, which is sitting next to the trophy... and punches it.
  • In the opening sequence of the third season episode Forbidden Desert by the creator of Pandemic and Forbidden Island, also a team game which they lost to, there are copies of both Pandemic and Forbidden Island on stools next to Will. At the end of his monologue he asks if they will break the curse, then again, cold punches the Pandemic box.
• One from Last Night On Earth. Felicia Day goes a little insane and names one of her zombies "Doctor Hannah" and roleplays him like a normal person.
  • Felicia describes how one of her zombies starts gnawing on one intestine. Wil immediately picks up on that and says that one of his zombies starts gnawing on the other end until they meet in the middle Lady and the Tramp style.
• From Alhambra, after Dodger's tea bag falls into her cup:
  Dodger: Teabag fell in there again.
  Shane Nickerson: Fighting...teabag...joke.
  Wil: Must...not...make...teabag...
  Shane: Don't talk about...
  Wil: Stay with me Nickerson! Don't you dare quit on me now! I didn't drag you through 600 lines of Nazi gunfire for you to make a teabag joke now!
  Shane: I'm good! I'm good Sarge! (Beat) Balls in the mouth!
  Wil & Shane: Ahh!
• The party in the Dragon Age RPG episode includes such classic characters as:
  • Gorik, the surface dwarf whose beard is compared to Christie Brinkley's hair in a shampoo ad, and whose only successful roll in the first episode is a "look in a window" check.
  • And his greatest failure at 27 minutes. He fails at walking down a hill.
  • Fonzor, a circle mage, who is literally The Fonz in Thedas, and is said to have made out with every person in Fereldan.
    • (Sweet guitar riff plays) ROCK ARMOR!! Keegan's mullet blows in the wind, and everyone else just wonders where the hell that riff came from.
  • Thinli, the virgin city elf with an often-used focus in smelling.
  • Keegan, described as the "high school quarterback of Grey Warden initiates", who wears a mullet, as "it is a practical hairstyle."
• Part 2 of the The Dragon Age RPG brings more of the funny, mainly thanks to the wonderful roleplaying efforts of the players:
  • As the party is working its way through a mysterious Tower, Wil's enthusiasm is not left without comment.
    Sam: "Let's make sure we don't go back to the Fade in this damn thing. What if it goes back?"
    Wil: "If we are destined to go to the Fade, to the Fade we shall go."
    Chris: [instantly] "Fuck yourself!"
    Sam: "Yeah, Jesus! I'm not going to the Fade!"
    Kevin: "Yeah seriously, fuck you."
  • The final confrontation, as Wil attempts to bluff the Final Boss^note Mainly due to his abysmal dice rolls up to this point, which (naturally) backfires spectacularly, serving only to piss it off even more:
  Wil: "...Oh that Victor Greenthorn. As it turns out, he has a twin brother that he doesn't" and as I say that I just charge the ghost with my mace.
  • Afterwards, they confront Duty, a spirit from The Fade who asks them what became of Moira, the Queen who rebelled against the Orlesians.
  Sam: Yeah, about that—
  Kevin: That whole queen thing—
  Sam: You take this one.
  Kevin: Um... She's doing fine... Right?
  Wil: It is entirely accurate to say that the queen rests comfortably.
  Duty: Do you consider yourselves truthful men?
  Chris: Oh fuck! She's dead! Okay? She's dead!
  • The aftermath:
  Sam: What did it smell like?
  Kevin: Like Duty.
• "Unspeakable Words" is a spelling game that dips into the Cthulhu Mythos. The graphic for failing—little Cthulhu figurines as sanity markers—all get dispatched in various ways: #1 goes out by snapping off the end like a broken screen door; #2 goes out by taking a dive off a high-dive; #3 peels out like a nitro funnycar, #4 gets shot in the back by the fifth marker, and #5 just explodes.
  • Oh, and there's also Wil's description of the game's "origin":
    Wil: It was designed by my friends, James Earnest, and Mike Selinker. Mike claims that this game was conjured fully-formed in a dream after he played back-to-back marathon games of Arkham Horror and Scrabble. I believe Mike.
  • Then, Felicia Day gets pissed that she failed a sanity check^note (roll the value of the word you created or higher) on a 3. She flicks one of her sanity markers across the table...and into the nice neat little pyramid of Cthulhus that Troy Baker had made. Cue Faux Horrific.
    Troy: WHYYY?!
    Wil: They only had one day until retirement!
    Troy: (makes loud gargling and moaning noises)
  • Quite frankly, Troy was in top form that day.
  Felicia: It will be my turn while [Wil] is shuffling.
  Wil: You have successfully described everything that is going to happen.
  Troy: This table is burgundy and we're sitting in chairs.
  or
  Felicia: I don't know what the deal is. (Referring to Troy's constantly amazing rolls)
  Troy: Well Felicia, it's called losing.
  • Wil's comments on maintaining ("NO, RON PAUL, I WILL NOT BE VOTING FOR YOU!") or ultimately losing ("I WOULD LOVE TO BUY A TIMESHARE! IT'S LIKE OWNING A PLACE WHERE YOU VACATION!") his sanity.
• The extended edition of the first episode, Small World, has Wil roleplaying a slashfic starring Frodo and Sam. Brain Bleach is promptly called for.
• During "The Resistance" episode, Wil says what everyone's been thinking:
  "Why do I always lose on Tabletop?"
• In the aftermath of The Resistance when Felicia, the one person Will was certain wasn't a spy, reveals herself to be a spy Will has one thing to say.. or scream rather, complete with Angry Fist-Shake. The show then goes through the rest of the group's reactions, and you can hear Will's scream echo through all of them.
  Wil: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY
  • Just before Will screams, Felicia just gives this innocent smile and cute look before Will starts swearing out loud.
  • Wil is very aware from the moment the rest of the group votes for the mission to go ahead that his team is going to lose. He just doesn't know who the winners are.
• From the Fiasco setup episode:
  Bonnie: This really should be speed dating. It'd make it so much easier.
  John: It would.
  Alison: I know, right?
  John: Except with the fictional personas you create at the table...
  Bonnie: Yeah, welcome to my speed dating.
  John: (cracks up)
  Wil: Welcome to speed dating! And just like speed dating, everything goes bad.
• The constant cover band jokes in the Chez Geek episode.
  • Wil's story about how his old roommate Chris Hardwick absolutely refused to wash the dishes. Wil got so frustrated that he'd just dump all of them on Chris' bed, hoping he'd get the point. Instead, Chris pulled his blankets off the bed, leaving the dishes where they were, and went out to sleep on the couch. Everyone agrees that it'd be easier just to wash the dishes at that point, but It's the Principle of the Thing for Chris.
• Wil's epic Skyward Scream in Star Trek Catan. It goes for at least ten seconds.
  Wil: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NAAAAAAAAAAARGH!! KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHN!!
  • And it cuts to outside, where Grant Imahara is walking by, and can hear them.
    • Either that or Wil managed to scream all the way to San Francisco, where MythBusters is filmed.
• Also from Star Trek Catan, Jeri's and Wil's demo of Trek space combat:
  Jeri: OK, Ready? HIT! (They jolt in different directions) HIT! (They jolt again) SHIMMY! (They wiggle back and forth) That was our life.
  • "The Star Trek Spaceship "bump" is one of the very few things that... binds every Star Trek actor together regardless of what ship you served on- I mean, show you were on."
• Another from Star Trek Catan. Will demands that Kari hand over some tritanium, which he knows she has. Kari then states she doesn't have it.
  Wil: What?! Why?! How?! You— but I— Uh— (Facepalm)
• Will accuses Kari of "using the force" on the dice.
  Wil: But it's a double dick move because this is STAR TREK!
• This brilliant meta gem in the introduction of Lords of Waterdeep:
  Wil: Which one of my friends will beat me today? Let's find out!
  • Also, there's this gem, in which Felicia is debating on whether to give Pat or Wil the Mandatory Quest card (she doesn't consider Brandon, since it's his birthday:
  Felicia: So I'm going to ask why the Red Sashes are going to do better things for Waterdeep than the Harpers.
  Brandon: In two words.
  Wil: Yeah, I'll do this. I'm sitting on eight potential points. Pat is sitting on—
  Felicia: No, no. I really want the role-playing. I'm role-playing. Why are the Harpers better for the Waterdeep?
  Wil: Oh, OK, I'll tell you why the Harpers are better. Because the Harpers are a little more in touch with the common man because they can't score as many [BLEEP] points as Pat can, who has 50, 61 [BLEEP] points sitting in his hand right now! Felicia, just give him the mandatory quest!
  Felicia: Oh god, you're so loud. {Gives Wil the Mandatory Quest card}
  Wil Ugh, I knew you were going to do that anyway!
  Felicia: It was so loud.
  Wil: Eat a dick!
  Felicia: It was so loud in my face.
  Wil: Shut up.
  Wil (At his Confession Cam): Allow me to polish off a chestnut from last season: This... is bull[BLEEP].
  • The entire thing must be seen to be believed.
• Wil, sitting with a rictus grin, letting out a tiny squeak of glee at his first actual victory.
  Tara: Does he always do that?
  Wil: No, because I never win! I always lose! [Jumps into a Victory Pose]
  • Wil's victory celebration at the Winner's Wall in Shadows over Camelot.
    Felicia Day's Voice: Wil? Wil? Does anyone have eyes on Wil?
    Male Voice: He's gone. He's doing donuts in the parking lot.
    Wil: [screaming] WINNER!!!!!
• In Lords of Waterdeep, Owlbears and the Pooping position.
• Titles on certificates given to winners of Season 2 are funny in general, but the one from Carcassonne episode takes the cake — Wil gives himself a certificate for the "Most Unlikely to Win on TableTop" .
• Tsuro of the Seas: Wil initially says his boat is smuggling bread hidden inside bales of drugs, before deciding that he's a tourist boat instead. Kevin Pereira packed his "yellow boat of Portuguese passion" with Japanese schoolgirls and is turning the thing into a live-action tentacle hentai.
  • One of the dragons, due to the game's mechanics and rolls of the dice, just spins in place a few times. They conclude that it's drunk.
    Kevin: The red dragon is a drunk jerk. Uh, what was it...(pained dragon "roar") (hacking cough) Glug, glug, glug, rotate...(spins in place)
  • When they have to place a new dragon on the board, it's right by two other players, in danger of killing them at a moment's notice. But the tourist boat is getting great pictures!
    Wil: Those tourists are like, "This is the—I don't know why this got such bad reviews on Trip Advisor! This is great!"
• Wil and John Kovalic in Ticket to Ride Europe: "Let's pick a fight in the Balkans. How has that ever turned out badly for anyone?"
  • In the same episode, Wil chastises his wife for using black trains to complete an orange route... then she points out that it's the cards that indicate the color of route, not the trains (which are colored to identify players), a laugh around the table at the Epic Fail ensues.
    • Which swiftly turns into a Humiliation Conga when Wil says the 3 train placement is worth 3 points. Anne asks why it's not 4 points. Cue facepalm from Wil.
  • Wil realizes he made a mistake and repeated bullocks so much that John Kovalic handed him a bear named Salty/Mr. Bullocks (John insists his name is the former and Wil assumed he named it the latter) and as soon as he gives Wil the bear, he notes how useful the bear will be in the next few moments... cue his wife looking over to the puddle caused by Wil's mug and asking if they can hand it over for a second. Then there's the Confession Cam cut right after, with a cut right after to show Mr. Bullocks shaking his head. After the cut, it turns out that Anne just put googly eyes on Mr. Bullocks, it itself becoming a CMOF when they talk about the Googly eyes and Wil ponders more of how she didn't manage to cover the entire set with them (she technically did by putting some on the tower in the set).
  Wil: A really great, effective way for Mr. Bullocks to keep my language clean would be for him to talk to the deck and tell the eck to give me the motherf[BLEEP] cards I need!
  • At the end of the video, Anne returns to the table and tries to fist-pound the table. When that failed, she decides to swipe the trains off the board.
• Wil in Tokaido, when everyone gangs up on him. He compares it to a kitten being cornered by fire-breathing anti-kitten robots. J. August mocking him in mime only adds to the hu-
  J. August Richards: "CALL THE WAAMBULANCE!!!"
  Wil Wheaton: *screams like a little girl*
• Wil: I'm trading in my teapot for bourbon. And leave the bottle.
• The entirety of Alan Tudyk's performance in Forbidden Desert.
• Will's Diplomacy rant at the beginning of the Forbidden Desert episode.
• Felicia's description of her character as a "werecamel" in the Forbidden Desert episode.
• Catan Junior: "Everybody knows that the goats of Catan are shipbuilders. It's been that way since the dawn of time."
• From the Stone Age episode:
  Jesse: How does one "aggressively breed"?
  Nika: Wanna find out?
  Wil: *Jaw Drop*
  Jesse: All I want to do is make pact to beat him!
  Nika: I was talking about beating too, just for the record.
  Wil: Wow, that escalated very quickly...
  • Even better in the gag reel.
  Produce to Nika: Did the boys pressure you into having babies before you were ready?
  • Later in the episode, Wil is starting to get bad luck and starts losing it. "It's amazing how the dice hate me even when I'm not rolling them. Super."
    Wil: I've been responsible. I put education first. Meanwhile, I live next door to *bleep* Mc*bleep*alot who's just like "Oh a baby! Oh a baby! Here's a baby! On no! How am I going to get food? How am I going to feed this other *bleep*ing baby I made. Oh I know—
    (Interrupted with a "Please stand by" screen, with an overturned prescription pill bottle)
    Wil: Food's just gonna *bleep* fly out of the sk—
    (Interrupted with another "Please stand by" screen, with more bottles along with the overturned prescription pill bottle)
    Wil: (back at the game) And—oh! I don't have enough for that after all! Because this is TableTop and I'm rolling dice!
    Jesse: This may be—this is all my fault, I admit it.
    (Wil pantomimes dialing a phone)
    Wil: Hello, me from a month ago?
    Wil at the Confession Cam: ...hello? is this Wil Wheaton from the future?
    Wil: Remember how you thought playing Stone Age was going to be super fun because it's a great game that you love and you actually have a chance at winning?
    Wil at the Confession Cam: Yes? Tell me, how does the game work out?
    Wil: Don't do it! Don't do it! Oh! And, also make sure that you pick up Stone IPA on the way home, because you're out. (hangs up)
    Wil at the Confession Cam: ...hello? Hello~? Future me's a jerk...
  • Each of the Please Stand by screens (there's three of them) has an increasingly high number of meds. And each of the bleeps is accented with an Owlbear head over Wil's mouth.
    • The context of the third is even better/worse. Jesse is rolling for a "general store" (rolls of the dice determine who gets first picks of what resources/abilities are available, with turn order deciding who gets what. The dice roll is 6-6-6-1. Meaning, everyone gets the most valuable asset in the "store", except for Wil, who gets a measly one Wood resource.
      Wil: Have you done quite enough?
      Jesse: I think I've done just enough, sir.
      Wil: Great!
      Jesse: Thank you for inviting me.
      Nika: (laughing hysterically)
      Wil: (cringing more and more with every word) Super! Okay! Terrific! PASS THE CUP DOWN THE TABLE.
      (at the Confession Cam...)
      Wil: *beeping* KINGS *beeping* IN *beeping* THE *beeping* NOXIOUS *beeping*—
      (Interrupted with another "Please stand by" screen, which is just the entire screen covered in various pills)
• The entirety - shut up, the entirety of Epic Spell Wars.
  • Wil and Jonah hamming up their respective characters (a screechy "Blood-O-Mancer" and "Fey Ticklebottom," respectively). Lady Lazervere (Veronica) and Pisstar (Emily) don't seem to hold up by comparison.
  • The realization of the players that, due to the filming setup, the home viewer is getting hit by a spell for one damage. "If you want, you can punch yourself in the nuts or something." Cue the animated hand swinging toward the bottom center of the screen and a pulsing red "-1."
  Wil: Here's a fun story about my balls.
  Veronica: *looks up with stonefaced expression*◊
  • Jonah plays "Pam and Hecuba's Disco Mirrored Bedazzlement." What happens is several minutes of him getting to add random spell components to his hand...which allow him to repeat this ability several times. Wil isn't even mad, and thinks it's amazing (and within the spirit of the game, of course)
    Wil: KRAZZTAR IS TRAPPED IN A MAGICAL VORTEX SHAPED LIKE A RAINBOW AND COLORED LIKE YOUR BUM!
• The Cards Against Humanity episode. All of it.
  Wil: You asked for it; so this is your fault.
  • Special mention goes to Wil's story of spicy dick milk. Basically, he was spreading chili pepper flakes on his lawn to keep skunks and other pests away, and neglected to wash his hands before taking a leak. His dick started burning because of that, so he tried using a cup of milk (on the theory that it helps when you eat spicy food) to make it stop. Didn't work. Bonus points because he used his son's favorite smiley-face cup for the purpose, apparently didn't tell him for 10 years afterwards, and later gave it to him and his girlfriend as a housewarming gift!
  • The first card gets awarded to "a face full of horse cum."
    Aisha: By the way—apparently—great for your complexion.
    Wil: ...horse cum?
    Aisha: Yes!
    (Cut to Confession Cam, with a horse neighing sound effect)
    Laina Morris: (glances at the camera, highly uncertain)
  • Aisha's first turn as Card Czar comes around and fate conspires in just about the worst way imaginable.
  Aisha: What don't you want to find in your Kung Pao Chicken? The black half of Barack Obama.
  Wil: [starts cracking up]
  Aisha: Right? I don't know why I'm the one getting all the race cards, but here we go. Forty acres and a mule.
  Wil: OH, FUCK! [degenerates into laughing his ass off]
  • Who wins^* At being a horrible person? Everyone!^* Although Aisha took the trophy that evening as the clear winner on points Who loses? Human Decency!
  • Laina's absolute discomfort is really funny in a schadenfreude way.
    Laina: Help.... Help.... Help!
  • Her way of cheering for her first black card: Angrish at it's finest.
  • Aisha in general was hilarious. To quote:
    Aisha: (James Bond villain voice) Do the Dew with our most extreme flavor yet! Get ready for Mountain Dew Ebola! Now with extra infectious material!
  • It would be a dishonor to not mention how Aisha established her dominance: By rubbing her boobs on her side of the table and declaring "This is my fucking house!".
    • Made more apparent when she has some friends bring her and the others liquor to drink at the table.
• You wouldn't think Dread would have one of these, but part 2 has Molly having her character perform a Heroic Sacrifice by knocking down the tower... by saying "Cheers" and toasting it with her mug. The best part is that the top part topples into the cup, resulting in the players having to dry the blocks on their sleeves while Wil is detailing her horrible fate.
• Libertalia's loser lounge and victory speech segment, with Will having to give the trophy to a cardboard cutout of himself that was shaken around by Clare while speaking entirely in angry "meows".
• Steve Jackson on how to win at Munchkin:
  Steve Jackson:; It's not all stabbing: you have to help people. And then you stab them!
• During the playthrough of Lanterns, Wil Wheaton trolling the absolute crap out of the table, first by unintentionally picking on Zac Eubank by not letting him gain cards; then by stealing Ivan's green card on the final round while he wasn't paying attention.
  • Gets even more funny when it cuts to Ivan letting loose, before Wil reveals the prank, as it would have prevented him from winning. And then of course when it turns out Ivan miscounted his points and loses by a single point, tied with Wil of all people for second place!
• Steam Park opens with Wil going "Hello, and welcome to Four White Guys with Beards."
  • They immediately discard the Steampunk flavor of the setting in favor of lots and lots of poop jokes.
  • Storm decides to name his park "From Gear to Eternity." He says that the estate of Frank Sinatra estate was okay with it, and that he'd get a ridiculous amount of money for building it.
    Paul: UUUUUUUUGH. (Wil starts grinning and Sarcastic Clapping slowly) BOOOOOOOOO. BOOOOOOOOOOO!
    Storm: Hey! My park has a name!
    Paul at the Confession Cam: So the name of my park, after a lengthy internet poll has been chosen as Parky Mc Parkface, which I love.
    Wil: OHHHH THAT'S REALLY GOOD!
• The "Meat Sword" from Champions of Midgard.
  • Alison inheriting Wil's dice curse by rolling crap all against a monster that only needed a single blow to die. And then she rolls max damage on the very next roll (after turning in a token for a reroll).
  • Ullr, the Berserker, whose only known words seem to be screaming his own name at anyone who will listen.
  • Chris trolling Alison in the final round by continually taking the spots she wanted. And at the end of the game, he wins by a landslide by shifting the towns blame (tokens) to everyone else by fighting trolls. Yes, the troll fought trolls to win a trolling game...
• The "Fury of Dracula" episode:
  • For starters, the shout-outs to Shut Up and Sit Down as well as Van Helsing, which Grant Imahara was one of the SFX techs on.
  • Ify Nwadiwe playing two very different characters, an old doctor and a rich lord. The doctor is more grounded, but he plays the lord like a dumb aristocrat, constantly searching the deck at night and giving Dracula (a.k.a. Wil) more ammunition, and flaunting his wealth at every opportunity.
  Ify: So my strategy is uh, I have a gambling addiction.

  • Which bites him in the ass when in a stroke of luck he finds Dracula with no assistance. No trail, no clues, just right the fuck out of nowhere!
  Wil: Bad news is...they know where I am. Good news is... I'mma kill this motherf[BLEEP]r!
  • Mr. Rich Idiot manages to quote the Heart of the Cards when drawing from the deck at night. Which then actually succeeds.
  • Ify uses an event card to identify Dracula's last known location (while at sea, no less), which pisses Wil off to no end since he wanted to sneak around and lose them.
  • Wil messes up and plays a roadblock, not realizing Amy is already past it and is one space away from him. Then she moves to the same city as him and once again finds him out of thin air. Which becomes funny to Wil in hindsight as the roadblock means the cavalry is going to be... somewhat delayed.
  Amy: (to Grant) He's in Genoa! He's in Genoa! Wait, is that a good thing? Why is no one cheering?
  Ify: You're stuck in Genoa with a vampire, and there's a roadblock; so it's gonna take us a little while to come help ya out!

  • When the fight does occur, Amy manages to hit Wil for a damage and escape; in the context of the game, Mina Harker finds Dracula (her ex lover), punches him in the face as he attempts to mesmerize her and then runs away before he can punch her back
  Amy: I think he was expecting me to just, like, dodge or run away; so I was like "No motherfucker, I'm gonna punch you!" (and yes, it was completely uncensored!)
  • As the game progresses and Wil keeps getting cards given to him by Ify's characters' gambling addiction (i.e. he keeps drawing from the bottom of the deck and getting Dracula cards), Amy starts to believe that Ify is working with Dracula, and momentarily vows to kill his characters as well as Dracula.
  • Wil accuses Ify of being a witch after he plays a card which lets him move three spaces, which lets him track down one of Dracula's known locations. Again.
  • After finally deducing that Dracula is stuck in Spain, the team gear up to head on down there, only for Wil to play a card that places three roadblocks on the map. Which he decides to place on all roads leading into Spain. This forces the team to spend a turn diverting to Paris to catch the train into Spain (the only route left), and gives Wil enough time to mature the final card he needs to win the game.
    • While the final turn is playing out, Ify moves into Spain, and stops in Madrid, when Wil picks up the most recent location card (normally this would mean he is in Madrid, and they found him, cue celebrations) before he sets the card face down and tells them he isn't there. Complete with shit-eating grin.
• In "Harbour," Wil hears what becomes his favourite thing uttered on Tabletop: "I am a nihilistic wolf shepherd with an anchor and nothing to lose."
• The Fate Core one-shot is a rollercoaster ride of surreal humour and horror, but the funniest bits are probably John Rogers' character's meltdowns where he rants about how little the world makes sense.
• In "Star Trek: Five Year Mission", Will states that he decided the original cast to play in this world, the "New Generation is a little too weird and too meta for him."
  • Wil's very first turn, and second turn overall for the team has him rolling the exact numbers he needs to complete not one but three mission cards, with him happily shouting "I'm not useless!" to the rest of the team, considering the Wheaton Dice Curse. Then it dawns on him that either the curse is gone, or (more likely) this is the best it is ever going to get for the team. Sure enough, the team starts taking hit after hit, with the deck being so unforgiving that they only get 3 of the required 14 victory points before failing.
  • The meta-ness of the "Communications Failure" cards - While these cards are out, nobody around the table may speak or communicate with one another. While Wil spoke with the producers about removing these cards as it could potentially produce a Dead Air style video if they are unable to get rid of the card, they decide not to. Cue Jesse Cox milking the silence for all its worth, and on the second CF that is in play takes almost 3 minutes to play his turn, which was because one of the cards had a timer attached and was counting down.
  Wil: (as the timer counts down to single digits) Play the fucking card!
• Wil's complete and utter castigation of phony psychics, mediums, and ghost hunters at the beginning of Mysterium. And having absolutely none of their Real Life shit throughout the game.
• Misspent Youth is mostly a tense dramatic game, but then in part 2, Matt Fraction makes a Dukes Of Hazzard reference after a brutal moment.
• Wil's opening turn in "Flash Point". He is able to clear two fire tokens off the board with the fire truck, and bank his remaining two moves for a later turn. Then he utters the cursed words: "I'm helping! Cue him rolling for new fire and setting off a chain reaction of explosions that decimates the central room of the house, sets fire to everything in the room, destroys three of the walls and spreads to other rooms in the process.
  • The players end up being on the back foot the entire game, before the final roll (by Wheaton) ends up destroying the final wall needed to collapse the house and kill everyone outside. But on the bright side, no animals died in the fire!
  • The hilarity at the in game story, of the house actually being a fraternity that has been making meth to fund their expensive purchases, and the fire starting because of an explosion in said meth kitchen. (And the stinger shows that the frat meth house belongs to an owlbear of all things!)
• Wil in "Codenames". He uses the clue "famous" while no noticing Shakespeare is a clue on the board, and in the second game, costs his team the game because he mistook "line" for "lime" the entire game.
  • He continues the mixup all the way to the end credits, going off to see the 'wimmers' and telling the audience to 'Play more ganes!'
  • In the third round, one of the codemasters uses the clue 'playground', not realizing the word 'ground' is on the board. A producer interrupts the game to point out the rule-breaking, and the card is switched out. However, nobody realized it was a guaranteed guess even though it had been flipped over, since the colors are predetermined and not the words' locations. In short, they mess the final move up by failing to notice this, although much can be said for giving the clue 'music' (1) when the word 'note' and an instrument are both on the board...
• Eldritch Horror:
  • Wil has to roll a Will check, which he starts to do, with the help of an ally (A Vatican Missionary). To which, Patrick helpfully points out that he is in "the perfect position to help you. The Missionary Position."
  • Jess's roleplaying as a redeemed cultist, throughout both episodes.
  • Everyone's reactions when Jess discovers the consequences of her Dark Pact coming due, starting with her shrieking "OH NO!" and appropriately dramatic music building up in the background.
  Wil: "You actually kill — it just says kill for KILL-kill?!"
  • And when they realize that the victim is an ally of her choice, as Stefanie leaps upon that point, Patrick looks up at the camera with an expression that makes very clear he knows what's coming.
  • After Pat's elderly astronomer character is killed by Jess's not-so-reformed cultist, he chooses a hunky, shirtless sailor as his new character. The rest of the players (who are all playing female characters, including Wil) proceed to go gaga over and flirt heavily with him.
  • And Jess saying she is definitely going to reform for sure this time after spending the whole game saying so.

• Smash Up:
  • Wil only needs a single point for 2 turns to be able to win his very first game. His BSOD expression when Cara Santa Maria steals the win right from under him is priceless
    • Made even funnier on the gag reel for that episode.
• Hare&Tortoise/Council of Verona:
  • Jessica's strategy for Council of Verona was to pick only the attractive characters. "Clearly I just liked to pick the hottest people in the deck. Paris has it going on."
    • It works and she ends up winning the game.