Funny / Sword Art Online
Never in a million years, Kirito-kun.

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     Season 1/Volumes 1- 4 
  • In Episode 1 of the anime/Volume 1 of the Light Novel, Klein was groin attacked twice. The first was from a Frenzy Boar and the second for Kirito from asking info of Kirito's sister. Both times he overreacts before realizing that the game doesn't actually transmit pain.
  • Kirito's Crash-Into Hello situation with Asuna in Volume 1. He experimentally grasps something soft, tries to figure out what it is, realised that he's groping Asuna... and he can't remember any of the placating statements he prepared for a situation like this.
  • After Kirito and Asuna meet for the first time, she borrows the bath in his rented room. Kirito's reaction to the idea of Asuna in the bath:
    "I didn't know averting my eyes from that door required such a high will saving throw."
    • When Argo knocks on his door, Kirito knows this is going to end badly. His first instinct is to flee.
  • The first time Klein and Asuna meet, he immediately regresses from being a confident swordsman and leader into a nervous wreck. Then he's annoyed that Kirito is in a party and practically on a date with Asuna.
    • And then he asks Asuna to treat Kirito well, even though he's not very good with words, isn't very fun and battle-obsessed. The reactions are what cross the line. Asuna's declaration: "Please leave him to me!" Kirito's response is to run away.
  • During the last day of their honeymoon, Kirito and Asuna agree to help an old player with a rare fishing based monster spawn. While Kirito is reeling in, everyone else flees a couple hundred yards when they realize how massive it is. When Kirito looks up to see the hulking monster climbing onto land, he takes off like a bullet, cowering behind Asuna and complaining about how his wife ran away and left him to die.
  • "Warmth of the Heart" (Episode 7/Light Novel 2): The way Kirito says he thinks they should escape the giant hole by running up the wall signals a hilarious Epic Fail is on the way.
    • What really sells it is how utterly blasé Kirito is about the entire situation:
      Lisbeth: You're insane.
      Kirito: Maybe, but that's all I got for ideas right now.
      *cue Epic Fail, punctuated further with a Kirito-shaped hole in the ground*
      Kirito: *seemingly unfazed by the fall* ...If I had more of a running start, I probably would have made it.
  • Asuna said that marriage in SAO is romantic and pragmatic, after a brief pause this happens
    *Asuna immediately grabs a fork and holds it to Kirito's face*
    Kirito: Wait, I didn't mean it! That didn't come out right! You were talking about how it's romantic and plastic and—
    Asuna: *interrupts Kirito* I did NOT say that, you ass! *kicks Kirito in the shin* What I said is that it's romantic and pragmatic! For your information, the word "pragmatic" means "practical."
  • After Kirito loses to his sister in a sparring match, he tries to sheathe the bamboo sword the same way he sheathed his swords in the game. Suguha's comment about whether he "hit his head" makes it even funnier as she was the one to smack it a few moments earlier (with a shout of "Men").
  • Kirito learns that (most of) his SAO skills carried over to ALfheim Online. When he learns that he needs to delete all the incompatible items that also got carried over so he doesn't get attention from the Game Master, he struggles to press Delete. Think about it for a second. Kirito is forced to erase all his hard-earned loot, something dedicated players of other games wouldn't even dare to do that easily. He did retain Yui as well as massive amounts of Yrd, the latter important later in the arc.
  • After Kirito straight-up destroys a Salamander raid team aimed at his head with the Beast Form spell, Leafa has a moment of Fridge Horror when she realized Kirito basically ate some of them and in the anime she asks him what they tasted like, he responds by saying "kinda like grilled meat just before it gets burnt, all crispy and" then gets cut off by Leafa saying, "Sorry I asked". Cue Kirito teasingly chomping down on her hand, and getting smacked for it.
    • Later on once they're in Lugrue, Kirito still has a red hand print on his face, he tries to explain he was just trying to break the tension with a joke, Leafa flatly tells him "Bite me again and I'll cut you in half"
    • The handprint's texture seems to indicate that he took HP damage.
  • Kirito getting surrounded by two beautiful women and making him uncomfortable is funny in itself, until you look closely at Kirito's left-breast pocket.
    • Related: Sakuya and Alicia vamping it up in the English dub of the anime.
    Alicia: Oh come on, Sakuya, that's not fair! You're totally seducing him with those things!
    Sakuya: I'm seducing him? If you were any closer to him, he'd be wearing you!
    Kirito: [Kirito makes a "Why me?" expression]
  • At Agil's party, Kirito orders a bourbon on the rocks. Agil hands him a glass, but then Kirito says, "What gives? This is oolong tea!" Sorry Kirito, you may be the hero of SAO, but you're still only 16.
  • This is made even funnier when Klein asks for the same thing almost immediately afterwards.
  • Immediately before Kirito's second round in Arun during the Fairy Dance arc, he and Leafa have to explain things to Recon.
    Leafa: We're raiding the World Tree - him, you, and me.
    Recon: All right... Wait, what!?

     Season 2/Volumes 5- 7 
  • Near the end of the GGO arc, Kirito and Sinon take shelter in a cave during the BoB tournament. As the number of players decline to a relative handful, livestream cameras start looking at them. Kirito is worried about what others may think of the two appearing so cozy, especially considering Kirito's avatar...
    Sinon: I don't care, they can think what they want! The guys in this game are dorks. If they think I'm gay, at least they'll stop hitting on me every five seconds.
  • The party for the Calibur arc becomes Fridge Humour when you think of party balance. Five members (Kirito, Asuna, Liz, Silica, Klein), out of a maximum of seven (players), are SAO survivors. SAO survivors see their weapons as proof of existence and thus don't use magic. The end result is that their only magic is healing from a few Combat Medics, so they don't have any offensive spells. Their sixth member is Suguha, whose first VRMMORPG was ALO, so she doesn't have any bias... except she's a real-world kendo practitioner who joined ALO for the freedom of flight, so Leafa is a speed-focused Sylph with a bit of buffs and healing. So they don't have any offensive spells. Their seventh member is Sinon, who's originally from GGO and only joined ALO to have fun with Kirito and his friends... except Sinon was a sniper in GGO, so she forgoes magic and swordplay in favour of being "the only player in ALO who wants to snipe someone from 100 meters". So they still don't have any offensive spells. None of them fully realize the impact of this until they run into a Dual Boss with a physical-resistant specialist and a magic-resistant specialist and they're all but boned.
  • At the conclusion of Caliber, after Sinon succeeds in retrieving Excalibur for Kirito, she turns to him, presents the sword with a big smile, and says, "Please think of me every time you draw this sword." Kirito can feel the Death Glares from his girlfriend and harem.
    • Klein then proceeds to sum up the Unwanted Harem trope in ten words:
    Klein: 'Man, it must be so hard for you chick magnets.
    (Kirito kicks him in the face, still holding Excalibur)
    • The cause of that was because of one sentence, "Thanks for the Tsukkomi.".
    • In regards to Kirito's hairstyle in Caliber side story :
      A little fairy flew from Asuna's shoulder—she was a Navigation Pixie named Yui, landed on my head and sat down. My Avatar, the Spriggan «Kirito», had long pointed hair, at Yui's request now I have my old hairstyle. The reason was it was «hard to sit on».
  • In Volume 7, a while after Kirito arrives to Hold the Line against an entire guild so Asuna and the Sleeping Knights can take on the floor's boss, Klein also shows up behind said guild to assist Kirito. Then we have this hilarious exchange between Klein and Kirito, shouting at each other from across the room.
    Klein: SORRY, I GOT LOST!!
  • Later on, when Asuna's mother, Kyouko, goes online for the first time, she notes how light she is, and Asuna points out that since the avatar weighs approximately 40 kg (only 88 pounds, significantly lighter than an adult woman). Kyouko takes umbrage, and suggests that perhaps Asuna's the one who's overweight.


     Season 1 and Extra Edition 
  • After the players real looks are exposed on their avatars, a beautiful couple that we saw earlier are actually revealed to be two older guys. Their reaction is priceless:
    "Pretty Guy": You're a guy?
    "Pretty Girl": You were lying about being seventeen?
    • Post-ALO, at least one of them was trapped in Sugou's experiments, and they're seen hugging each other. Heartwarming, yes, but their bodies just make it look funny.
  • In Episode 4, Kirito knocks on Silica's bedroom door, and she nearly answers the door while in her underwear.
  • In Episode 10, while Kirito and Asuna are at Asuna's house, Asuna strips down to her underwear and tells Kirito to get undressed as well. When a flustered Kirito says that wasn't what he meant when he said he wanted to spend the night with her, Asuna punches him out. With a Sword Skill.
  • In Episode 12, after defeating a bunch of frog monsters easily, Kirito comes over to Asuna saying they dropped some items, after she asks if there was anything good, he shows her a giant frog leg telling her it's Scavenged Toad Meat and says maybe she can cook it later
    Asuna: Not on your life! [grabs leg and throws it away]
    Kirito: What the hellll?! Oh, come on, what'd you do that for?! Damn it! Okay, fine! [holds up a ton of frog legs] What am I gonna do with these?!
    Asuna: [throwing the legs one by one] No! No, no, no, no, no!
    Kirito: Asuna! I-It's good meat!
    Asuna: Get rid of it!
    Kirito: But it's delicious! You just have to eat it warm!
    Asuna: Shut up!
  • Episode 13, Season 1 has a good one just before the opening where Kirito meets an old player that joins him in fishing. He catches one and mentions that even though he's good at catching them he's not good at cooking, and says he'd love to try fish with soy sauce (which, earlier in the series, Asuna told Kirito how to make its in-game equivalent) when he tells the guy this there's a beat, then cue a rather amusingly horrifying Art Shift as the guy screams "WAIT, SAY WHAAAAAAAAT?!"
  • In Episode 16 of the anime, Suguha and her mother are talking about Kazuto's parents. Midori mentions that Kazuto asked about them when he was about 10, and Sugu wonders if that's got to do with his escapism since middle school. Midori doesn't think so... because he built a machine out of junk parts at age 6. This can give you the very amusing mental image of Tony Stark as Kirito... or, alternately, Kazuto as Iron Man.
  • Used equipment salesman Kirito.
    • Context: Kirito just ate all the poor Salamander's party members. Due to ALO's Pv P mechanics, that 45080 Yuld and those 14 items are his prize. If the poor guy tells Kirito about why he's there, he'll give them back.
    • Immediately after the Salamander agrees, Leafa turns to Yui (who's still on her shoulder at this time) and mutters, "Men." Funny enough on its own, but then your realize that, if Suguha ever learns that Yui is not just a Navigation Pixie, but in fact Kazuto's adoptive daughter A.I. with true intelligence, it is after the Alfheim arc is over. She speaks to Kirito's Navi-Pixie because Yui is the only other girl there at the time.
  • Kirito's failed attempts at flying during his first log-in in ALO especially this:
    Leafa: Kirito, you do know how to land, right?
    Kirito: [Beat] ...No, not really.
    Leafa: [freaking a little] Uh-I-Oh, crap. [sheepishly flying off] Too late now! You're on your own!
    Kirito: WHAT?! YOU'RE KIDDING MEEEEEE! [cue Loud Crash Offscreen]
  • After getting to Legrue, when Leafa has to log out she asks Yui to watch over her avatar while she's gone, saying "I don't want your dad to mess with it while I'm out" which leads to Kirito saying totally deadpan "You gotta be kidding me."
  • Sword Art Online Extra Edition contains hilarious scenes where Rika/Lisbeth lampshades stuff, namely: Keiko/Silica looks nothing like Suguha (especially in the chest), Kirito and Asuna having sex and getting married in SAO, and Suguha's more than familial feelings for Kirito. Everyone gets very defensive when these things are brought up.
    • In one scene, the SAO girls (and Suguha) are all enjoying themselves at a pool. Suguha arrives with a flotation ring, however Lisbeth pulls the plug and delates it, telling Suguha she doesn't need it when she already has two enormous balloons to keep her afloat (groping Suguha as she says this), then asking what Suguha did to make her boobs grow so big. Silica watches on from a distance clearly jealous at the lack of her own bust. Asuna then shows up and pulls Lisbeth away by the ear to get her to stop sexually harassing Suguha.

     Season 2 
  • Season 2, Episode 1, When Kazuto gets to the restaurant he's meeting Kikuoka at, Kikuoka calls out to him in an excited manner that's a bit inappropriate for where they are, after sitting down Kazuto tells Kikuoka not to call him 'Kirito' in public.
    • There's also the way Kazuto looks so seriously at the menu when told he can order anything he wants and Kikuoka will pay for it, then he seems to have a bit of trouble pronouncing the names of the sweets he orders. The prices of the sweets weren't helping either (going up to 1800 Yen (Approx: $18 USD), for a slice of cake!).
      • It's also quite funny in the light novel, when Shino, a student who has trouble making ends meet in real life, is shocked that a cake would cost 2200 yen (approx: $22 USD).
    • There's also a darkly humorous line, where Kazuto starts figuring out what Kikuoka has really invited him to talk, and is asking him to do, Deadpan Snarking that Kikuoka should come out and say it, that he wants Kazuto/Kirito to let himself be shot by Death Gun in game to get clues on the case. Kikuoka actually contemplates this as a legitimate idea for a moment.
    • Which in turns pisses Kazuto off, declare that there is no way death's in game are the direct cause of causing the death of GGO players in real life. Kikuoka is forced to get on his knees, and clings to Kazuto's pants, and you can hear Kazuto is trying to walk away, with a funny, annoyed look on his face.
    • Kikuoka casually talking about video game-based murders, the condition the bodies were in when they were found and exotic foods like kiviak, Squicking out the rest of the patrons within earshot and causing them to make their displeasure known.
  • Episode 2, Silica getting caught by a plant monster's tentacle again. Some things never change.
    • What makes this especially funny is that in order to keep the gag going in ALO, Silica tries to fly, but the monster sprouts wings itself. It's the equivalent of a Dalek spouting wings to get up a flight of stairs.
  • Episode 3, The entire scene with Kirito and Aki the nurse, she touches his butt the second he enters the room, causing him to freak out, she plays it as feeling how he's recovered, then she gives him a note from Kikuoka about debriefing details, which included
    P.S. just because you're alone with a pretty nurse, you're still on the clock, try to keep your hormones under control.
    • Causing Kirito to angrily crumble the note into his pocket, followed by Aki then telling him to strip, as he freaks out she explains it's for the electrodes to monitor him, then "Oh don't worry, I've seen all your goodies already" which makes him put his hands over his crotch. They settle on him just taking off his shirt, which the nurse seems disappointing at, finally, she tells him not to worry while he dives because she's keeping an eye on his body, which doesn't reassure him at all.
  • Episode 4, Season 2: The scene where Kirito tries to get help from Sinon are cranked further in the anime where he intentionally acts girly. For extra points, much of his deliberately-feminine act is peppered with gestures and body language cues he's copied from Asuna.
    • Seeing everyone mistake Kirito for a girl is hilarious, especially with the whistling.
    • The scene were he beats the seemingly-unwinnable gun shooter course, winning 300k credits in the process. We know Kirito's reflexes are top notch, but no one else did. Even the robot cowboy got in on it.
      • The Gratuitous English lines the robot cowboy was spouting out were funny as well. "I'll kill you!" "You loser!" "Die!" "Go to hell!" To be fair, it's completely valid English, and they get an actual American to voice him.
      • And the cowboy has an incredibly exaggerated "NOOOOO!" when Kirito pats him on the chest.
      • When Sinon asks Kirito just how he managed to dodge the cowboy's final laser attack from point-blank range, Kirito claims he just predicted where the cowboy would aim: "Predicting the predictions", in his own words. Even the robot cowboy is incredulous!
  • Episode 5, Season 2: Sinon, still thinking Kirito is a girl, has no problem with being only in her underwear. When confused by Kirito freaking out, he then reveals his true gender, much to her shock ("Male!? You're a guy? With that avatar!?")... then the inevitable situation slowly dawns on her. Kirito gets slapped for his troubles, leaving a hand print on his face that looks awfully familiar.
    • Again, the handprint looks like HP damage. Isn't the BoB waiting room a safe zone?
    • After this, Kirito follows Sinon around, and she acts like he's stalking her.
    • Later, while Kirito starts being annoying while Spiegel is around, he uses his "girly" voice, making the scene even funnier.
  • Episode 7, Season 2: Shino is taking out her frustrations about Kirito by kicking a pole with a clock affixed to the top. If you pause when it's focused on the clock, you'll notice the clock hands are fallen to the bottom of the frame, implying Shino knocked them loose.
  • Episode 8, Season 2: Most of the other players still think Kirito is a girl, so Kirito pulls off a deliberately "cutesy pose" and asks them all to cheer for him.
    • If you look very carefully and cross reference with shots from Season One, you'll notice Kirito draws his reference of "Girlish Behavior" from that of his wife Asuna, including cutely tilting his head and pointing at his face with curled up eyebrows when he is "confused."
  • Episode 9, Season 2: The Dyne vs. Pale Rider vs. Death Gun fight from the end of the last episode gets MST'd by the gang watching in ALO.
    Lisbeth: [Pale Rider] must be one of the front-runners.
    (Pale Rider is sniped by Death Gun)
    Klein: Hey, turns out he sucks!
  • Episode 11, Season 2: Chrystheight (Kikuoka) logs into ALO and meets up with Kirito's friends. He refuses to give any details on Kirito's mission, so Yui explains the situation herself. Chrystheight promptly offers Yui a job working for the government, earning a mean look from Asuna. It becomes even more hilarious when you realize he just tried to recruit a 3-year-old!
    • And an A.I. to boot.
      • And a Navi-Pixie - which, unlike the above, he cannot possibly NOT know!
  • Episode 13, Season 2: Shino/Sinon decides to make both her and Kirito using a grenade and hugging him. Cut to a shot from behind of Klein, Leafa, Silica and Lisbeth looking at the screen in surprise without speaking, as though to 'WTF did we just see'.
    • Don't forget that Asuna also saw the scene, as Yui streamed the gameplay to a TV screen at the hospital. Uh-oh.
    • Even more hilarious is Kirito's reaction. He has no idea what Sinon's plan is, while she places the grenade in his palm. It's not until she pushes the activation button and it starts beeping that realizes what Sinon meant by a "souvenir grenade". He flat out panics and starts juggling it not sure what to do. Sinon suddenly glomping him with a happy smile on her face while he has a nervous and ridiculous grin and laugh, as he's realized This Is Gonna Suck, and is probably deciding what's worse, that he's about to be blown up by the grenade, or knowing that everyone watching the tournament live can see this happening. The fact Kirito is going to have some explaining to do to his friends, not to mention his Wife and Daughter, back in ALO, just sends the scene over the top in hilarity.
  • Episode 14, Season 2: Shino's interaction with Kirito outside her school. And her classmates think that he's her boyfriend.
  • How bad of a Butt-Monkey is Klein? In the credits for the Calibur arc, set to [No More Time Machine], he's the only one who doesn't get a solo shot. Kinda mean, but also kinda funny.
  • Episode 15, Season 2: Calibur's tail grab scene. What's added is Silica looking at her own tail...
    • Klein, upon encountering Tonky the jelly-phant:
    Klein: My grandpa's dying words were, "Don't ride in foreign cars or on flying Cthulhu elephants!"
    • Also in that episode: if Klein and Sinon are going to help Kirito find a legendary weapon, then he's going to have to help them find their own.
      Kirito: That dungeon [where the legendary katana is being held] is freakin' hot!
      Klein: And this Jotunheim place is freakin' cold!
      Kirito: (to Sinon) You've hardly had your avatar for two weeks and you're already looking for a legendary weapon?
    • Also also in that episode: the SAO survivors ponder falling in Jotunheim.
      Liz: I wonder what would happen if we fell from up here?
      Asuna: I'm sure the one right here - the one who once plummeted from a pillar outside Aincrad trying to climb up to the next level - I'm sure he'll exepriment with that one day!
      Kirito: Speaking of falling from great heights... wouldn't that be right up a cat's alley?
      (Sinon and Silica shake their heads)
    • When Tonky goes into an abrupt nosedive, we get a sequence of two-at-a-time shots of everyone holding on for dear life - except Leafa, who just cheers like she's having the time of her life.
  • Episode 16, Season 2, after the party encounters Freyja.
    Kirito: It's a trap.
    Liz: It's a trap.
    Sinon: It's totally a trap.
    Yui: She has an HP gauge.
    Asuna: It's a trap.
    Silica: Yes, it's a trap.
    Leafa: I'd say it was a trap.
    • Made even funnier in the next episode when it's revealed that Freyja is TRULY another definition of trap.
  • All throughout the Calibur arc, Yui is giving the party game-engine pointers; identifying the giant floating lady as an NPC before they all draw their weapons, pointing out that Freyja is an NPC and has an HP bar, identifying the layout of the Thrymheim castle. Think about that for a moment. Their "Navi-Pixie" is an omniscient A.I. girl. Which means (A) Kirito and his friends are totally defying the system structure, or (B) Navi-Pixies will completely ruin your sense of immersion by pointing out NPCs. Either way, it's funny.
  • Episode 19, Season 2: The Unsettling Gender Reveal scene where Asuna, envisioning the mysterious Zekken to be a knight in purple armor, is shown that Zekken is a girl. Cue her grabbing Liz and demanding an explanation on the matter since she didn't fully mention about this. Then she shifts to Kirito, thinking that he went easy on Zekken because she was a girl. The intense, vocalized Death Glare she gives her husband really sells this scene.
  • Around the start of the Mother's Rosario arc in Season 2, Asuna mentions that she took her Amusphere with her when she and her mother went out of the city, only to find that there was no internet connection. The anime's imagery of Asuna wandering around the room, holding up her Amusphere like she's trying to get a cellphone signal, is funny enough. But the fact that she found this out when the Amusphere failed to connect to ALO gives the wonderful mental image of an Asuna POV shot, the Amusphere whirring dramatically, "Link start!" ...and then a long and awkward quiet.
  • The opening to the last episode of Mother's Rosario (and, by extension, the last episode of SAO II) is equal parts Funny, Awesome, and Heartwarming.
    • It starts off with Asuna and Kirito hosting a party at their home on New Ainrad floor 22. As an estimate, it's them and their friends from SAO plus Leafa and Sinon, Furinkazan, the Sleeping Knights, the leaders of the Sylph, Cait Sith, and Salamander factions, and a few others. Out of nowhere, Jun suggests that, since the SK have their proof of existence from floor 29, why don't they just go take on the floor 30 boss together? Cut to them doing just that - and winning.
    • Cue an F/A/H montage with such moments as:
      • Kirito fine-tuning the camera that either Yuuki or Yui is using... mid-date.
      • During an ALO duel tournament on MMO Stream, Kirito vs. Yuuki has a note under each of their names. Yuuki appears to be noted as "Zekken"; Kirito is "Blacky". The ensuing duel has the time run out with Kirito's sword halfway to Yuuki's face.
      • The group goes on a trip with Yuuki's camera. A pause mid-meal seems to imply that Yuuki asked Asuna to share.
  • Yuuki telling the story about how the Sleeping Knights were once on an MMO known as "Insect Site," and Siune being horrified at recalling how she ended up as a caterpillar that shot string out of its mouth.
    • Even more side splitting in the adorable super-deformed Blu-Ray extras Sword Art Offline II Interviews:
    Asuna: I definitely don't want to be an insect! That's gross!
    Yuuki: (putting on a cool "charming stud" persona") Well Asuna, you'd be a beautiful butterfly, My Dear.
    Asuna: Aww, thank you Yuuki!
    Kirito: Well, what about me?
    Yuuki: (Reverts to innocent tomboy) Well, Kirito would be (GASP) Uh... you promise you won't get mad?
    Kirito: Of course I won't.
    Yuuki: Well.... you'd be.... A Cockroach I guess
    Kirito: (Thunderstruck) C-Cockroach?!
    Asuna: Teeheeehee!!
    Yuuki: Well, you see, Kirito is black and fast, It fits him perfectly!
    Asuna: Teehehehee!! "Black and fast...."
    Kirito: Will you cut it out with the "black and fast" punch-line! That's an insult to all the Yamikaze players out there!
    Yuuki (Genuinely confused) Huh? What's a "Yamikaze"?
    Asuna: Teeheeheeheehee!!
    Kirito: (Annoyed aside to audience) And that was today's playback corner. (Grumble Grumble)
  • Yuuki wants to know about Kirito's party. He explains very well about Silica and Leafa. Afterwards, for Lisbeth, Agil and Klein.
    —> Kirito: Next is Lisbeth. She's a rip-off (swindler) blacksmith. That's it.
    —> Kirito: Next is Agil. He's a rip-off (swindler) dealer(I forgot what it is). That's it.
    —> Kirito: Next is Klein, huh? He's a katana user and a womanizer. That's it.
    • You can guess how "unhappy" those three might be if they are watching this, so Asuna hurriedly reminds Kirito to give more detailed summaries, which leads to:
    Kirito: This is Sinon, a cruel and coldblooded sniper.....
    —> (A blood-red laser pointer from a 45mm Caliber Sniper Rifle dangerously hums onto Kirito's forehead.)
    Kirito: Uh... I mean a beautiful genius lady gunslinger who is the champion of GGO, who has helped me a lot! Please forgive me!!
    —> (Red Dot Dissapears)
    —> Kirito: PHEW that was close! And that's all the members of our Adventuring Party.
    • Unfortunately, Mommy and Daddy seems to have forgotten a special important someone....
    Asuna: So, how did you like today's segement, Yuuki?
    —> Yuuki: Wow! You guys have so many fun and interesting friends.... by the way... there seems to be one more person behind you.
    —> (Yui Stands Behind Kirto And Asuna, looking dejected)
    Kirito And Asuna: GASP!! / EEK!!
    Yui: (Sobbing) Daddy and Mommy... Both forgot about me... How could you!! (Runs off weeping)
    —> Kirito: Y-Yui! Wait Up! (Runs after Yui)
    —> Asuna: I'm sorry, Yui-chan! (Runs following suit)
    —> Yuuki: (Nervously chuckles) Ahahaha... And that was Today's "My Questions Corner!"
  • Klein's unfortunate tendency to teach Yui-chan knowledge inappropriate to little girls her-age comes back to haunt him in a big way in Sword Art Offline II Episode 9 during the Info Dump segment where Yui-chan commentates on selecting player-gender.
    Kirito: Just what the Hell has Klein been teaching Our Little Girl again.
    Asuna: Klein-san better be prepared for the beating of his life. (Mom and Dad both storm off to give Klein what's coming to him)
    Yui-chan: Oh My. I think I better pray for Klein-san's safety. And that was today's Sword Art Offline II Trivia Segment.

The Movie

    Ordinal Scale 
  • When Kirito mentions the Augma's capability to learn stuff, Lis' Augma gives her a health warning about the dessert she gets from winning a game of Pac-Man 256 at Wagnaria. She sulks and leave grumpily.
  • The fact that Kirito's rank was way behind Asuna and her friends. His number is 100000+. Well, people might expect him to be in the top 1000 or 100 at least.
    • Kirito doesn't like AR battle. When the girls discussed having no transport to go to the rumoured location, he slowly turns around and tries to escape (Note:He has a motorcycle) but Klein's message him delayed his flight and the girls give an eerie grin at him.
  • Lisbeth, noting that Silica is a huge fan of Yuna, coerces the latter into singing in public. Silica resists at first, but eventually gives in and sings the chorus - with passion!
  • During the battle against Kagachi the Samurai Lord, Kirito trips and falls before the boss. Good thing he still has Super Reflexes.
    • Kirito complaining that the lag in augmented reality is much worse than in VR. Apparently Real Life is just too laggy for him to handle.
  • How does Yuna reward the MVP of the raid? A kiss on the cheek, regardless of gender. Asuna gets one in the Kagachi raid, and dodges when she also wins the Yoyogi park raid. The faces of the guys were priceless.
  • The reaction of Fuurinkazan after learning that Asuna was taking a bath before the Yoyogi park raid.
  • When reinforcements from ALO and GGO arrive to help Kirito's True Companions against An Incarnate of Radius, Yui bursts out of Leafa's cleavage, with the latter in shock.
  • Klein whines about how Kirito and Asuna are not present to celebrate him for getting discharged from the hospital.
  • Klein saying that games aren't about meeting girls. Agil isn't amused. In fact, he declares that he will charge only Klein, just to reimburse for the wasted ticket.

     Sword Art Offline - Ordinal Scale 
  • Every fact Yuna states about Kirito was totally off except that he uses dual wielding and was a solo player. When she doubts whether Asuna is "a very scary girl when she gets Angry", Kirito tactlessly confirmed that she's correct in front of Asuna, earning him several nasty slashes from his wife for his troubles. Oh, what a Call-Back and poor Kirito too. He had to get clobbered by his girlfriends (if you were to include Lisbeth, Leafa and all other girls he ever met and had a crush on him) in almost every offline episodes.
  • Yuna tries to kiss Asuna again and the latter freaks out as she hides behind Kirito.
    • Later, Yuna tries to bribe Kirito to receive her kiss by giving away some coupon. The latter initially have the intention of accepting it because he can use the coupon to buy spare parts for his PC. Yui warned her father that cheating is not allowed.
  • Yuna wants to ride with Kirito on a bike. Too bad she must win in Rock Paper Scissors.
  • The scene showing Kirito suddenly hugs Asuna and pushed her onto the bed, with his head on her chest. Both of them began to panic as the scene easily creates misunderstanding and ordered the footage to be shut off. Both of them started screaming like ballistic when Yui and Yuna started asking questions one at a time about the footage. It must be seen to be believed.
  • The fact that this time the client for the counselling corner was none other than Kirito because of the obvious naming (Yui and Yuna had no idea that client is Kirito, except Asuna herself). Even better that he got shot down by the real traits of himself by Yuna.

Anime Dub Outtakes:

     Season 1 Bloopers 
The First Season's English dub's Hilarious Outtakes are comedy gold.
  • Season 1's outtakes includine the Running Gag of Klein's messed-up lines and a lot of Innocent Innuendo jokes, including Portuguese breakfast.
  • Asuna has some funny lines.
    • When Kirito joins the Knights of the Blood Oath:
    Asuna: You'll obey my orders, like it or not. Stare..... *cue to where Asuna shows her eyes*
    • When she is referring to Kirito when compared to Kuradeel:
    Asuna: While I can't say anything about his shadiness, he is actually quite strong. In fact, he's ten levels above you, you piece of s*bleep*t.
  • Don't forget about Lizbeth:
    • After Kirito tosses his coat at her
    Lisbeth: Holy s(bleep)t! This smells like feet!
    • When she's falling down the hole with Kirito:
  • Caynz' dying words:
    Caynz: *while hanging and stabbed on the chest* Guys... err... little help here... that hurts... guys... anybody?
  • Giving Yui some spicy food.
    Kirito: If you think you're ready for it I won't stop you. *give the spicy sandwich to Yui* Just add some ghost peppers... YOLO mother*bleep*er.
  • About interrupting vacations...
    Asuna: Why else would he interrupt our vacation?
    Kirito: 'Cause he's a DICK!
  • To be honest, Kirito says a lot of F-bombs. For example, when Leafa teases him about his magic...
    Leafa: I guess in situations like this that your lame Spriggan magic could come in handy! (laughs)
    Kirito: (beat) ...Ugh. Yeah f*bleep*k you too...
    • Then after a water gag that Kazuto pulls on Suguha
    Suguha: To make up for that water gag you pulled you owe me one green tea raspberry parfait. You cool with that?
    Kazuto: F*bleep*k you.
  • Leafa/Suguha can be funny at some times. For example:
    Kirito: *Upon arriving at a town* It's beautiful.
    Leafa: Isn't it... KISS ME!!!
    Recon: Leafa! Thank god you're okay and I totally f*bleep*ked that up! G*bleep**bleep*t!
    • Later when Leafa is blushing red on falling in love with Kirito while she tries to shrugs it off...
    Yui: *sees Leafa blushing red* What's wrong Leafa?
  • Kirito's fumbling on the 'Next Time...' lines.
    Kirito: Next Time... Yui's Fart.
    • It's then followed by an outtake where Yui makes a fart sound at the next scene as she lands.
  • In another 'Next Time...' mess up:
    Kirito: Next Time... BOOBS! Err... I mean bonds! Bonds!
  • In the final outtake, Todd Haberkorn shows who's boss as King Oberon in a very epic way:
    Oberon: What a surprise...
    Asuna: Todd?
    Oberon: ...the last thing I've expected is a pack of cockroaches in my little bird's cage.
    Kirito: You gotta be kidding... HABERKORN!!!
    Oberon: Mmm-mmm. I'd prefer if you didn't call me that name in this show. You should address me as 'His Highness, "TODD (bleep)ING HABERKORN"'!!!" *kicks Kirito*

     Season 2 Bloopers 
The second season's outtakes also have a lot of funny bloopers.
  • The introduction (which uses one of the last scenes of the last episode)...
    Kirito: I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow. All I know is... right now, more than anything else, I wanna watch some bloopers.
    Asuna: (giggles) Then all you have to say is, "here come the bloopers, bitches".
    Kirito: Here come the bloopers, bitches.
    Asuna: ...Dick.
  • When Shino is talking with Kyouji on a swing in the real world:
    Shino: He tricked me into thinking he was a girl and had me take him to the gun market. I even helped him pick out his gear! He thinks I'm an idiot! Oh man! (groans) It really pisses me off! (pauses and looks at Kyouji) Let's have angry sex!
  • Episode 8, Season 2: When Kirito pulls a cutesy stance and asks them all to root for him...
    Kirito: Hey guys... (in a gruff voice) how do you like my girl voice?
    • And there's a second outtake of this, only this time, where Kirito is dubbed over by a female voice actress...
    Kirito: Hey guys... (in an actual girl's voice) how do you like my girl voice?!
  • When Seijiro Kikuoka/Chrystheight enters a scene in ALO...
    Lizbeth: F(bleep)ing slow, Mercer! Your ass is slow as sh(bleep)t!
  • Even Death Gun gets a blooper:
    Death Gun: This isn't over. Not yet. I'm just getting started. It's... (in a British accent) Monty Python's Flying Circus.
  • When Kyouji attempts to rape and kill Shino before Kirito stops him in the 13th episode...
    Kyouji (in an insane tone): AUTOGRAPH! AUTOGRAPH! AUTOGRAPH! AUTOGRAPH! AUTOGRAPH, MICHELLE! I LOVE YOU, MICHELLE! AUTOGRAPH! (gets kneed in the face by Kirito)
  • Kirito's bad introductions of his harem.
    Kirito: (To both Asuna and Liz) This is Shino Asada, a.k.a. Sinon. Champion of GGO, and she's a dominatrix.
    Shino: Only until I graduate.
    Kirito: These are my friends from my time in SAO. That's Liz, one of the many girls who wants to bang me.
    Lizbeth: Huh?! What the hell did you call me?!? (tries to punch Kirito, but falls)
    Kirito: And Asuna Yuuki, a.k.a. The girl I still haven't had real sex with.
    Asuna: Not yet.
    Kirito: Want to grab a table and do some body shots with us?
    • After that:
    Lizbeth: (to Shino) So, anyway... it's great to meet another girl VRMMO player IRL. Welcome to the harem!
    Asuna: I second that. (to Shino) Have you been tested for STDs yet?
  • When Shino tries to voice her opinion after the Calibur mission.
    Asuna: (to Shino) Excuse me! I don't think you've been around long enough to voice your opinion!
  • When Kirito phone calls Asuna to ask her to join him in on a ALO quest in the 15th episode, while Asuna is taking a bath...
    Asuna: H-Hi, Kirito!
    Kirito (through the phone): Morning, Asuna. Sorry to call so early. We were planning about going on a quest in ALO this afternoon. You wanna go?
    Asuna: I'm in the bath right now, but yeah, I'll totally go.
    Kirito (through the phone): There's a setting on your phone called "Face Time"; use it now!
    Asuna: You're so dirty! And I like it dirty. Done.
  • In the same episode, Lizbeth shows up holding a bunch of weapons:
    Lizbeth: All righty. Let's all pose and look totally sexy!
    (cue everybody making their "ready to go" poses)
    • Followed by this blooper:
    Kirito: Are you ready?
    Silica: (Enthusiastically) NO!!
  • In one blooper, after a snowfall, Silica sings a certain song, much to Leafa's annoyance.
    Silica: I guess it stopped snowing while we were sleeping.
    Leefa: Yeah. It really came down.
    Silica: Hey Leefa, (start singing) "♫Do you want to build a snowman?♫"
    Leefa: ...I hate that song.
  • This outtake with some funny comments:
    (A sign says "Anarchy in the studio.")
    Asuna: Then lets meet back at the Lonbal save point and talk about what we learned, okay?
    All (in either Jun or Talken's voice): Have my babies!
    (Cuts to the sign, saying "Let's try that again...")
    Asuna: Then lets meet back at the Lonbal save point and talk about what we learned, okay?
    All (in either Nori or Siune's voice): COCK POTATOES!
    (Cuts to the sign, with the emoticon, ">:(")
  • The actual reason why Klein's late:
    Kirito: You're late! The hell took you so long?!
    Klein: (while battling other players) Sorry! I went to the Anaheim Convention Center!
  • When Asuna and Yuuki see Tecchi (Chris Cason)...
    Asuna: Cason? What the heck are you doing in an L.A. dub?! note 
  • When Asuna confronts her mom, Kyouko:
    Asuna: Mom, all I want for you is to see my world! (Beat) Hmm?
    Kyouko: (pause) Five minutes.
    Asuna: YAY!!!
    Kyouko: But—
  • In the final bonus outtake, when Kirito gives a toast to everyone:
    Kirito: TO ME!
    All: F**k you!

Game adaptations
    Infinity Moment/Hollow Fragment 
  • If you max out the affection of all the main girls in the Japanese version, you get the trophy, ''Don't cheat, daddy''. Then, almost as if in response to this, the English version's trophy is titled "It's Not What It Looks Like!"
  • The affection system applies to every allied character, which means you can bridal carry Klein.
  • Strea in general, who is even more of The Gadfly than Kirito and Lisbeth combined.
    • Take a drink every time Strea puts Kirito through Marshmallow Hell.
    • Special mention goes to a second party, where those who get the super-spicy slice have to command someone to do one thing for them - Strea, upon getting one of the two spicy slices, promptly commands Kirito to kiss her. Asuna is having none of that however, demanding Strea kiss her instead, which 'shockingly' (to her) Strea has few issues with whatsoever... the reactions from everyone are embarrassed/horrified fascination, as apparently Strea is applying the same amount of strength she displays in hugs to the kiss itself. After going at it intensely, an ashamed Asuna asks Kirito if she still wants him as his wife.
  • The size of Leafa's boobs get brought up a lot in the game and how impressive/jealous it makes the rest of the girls.
    • One time Kirito finds the girls talking about their hair. Silica remarks she's thinking of changing hers, to which Sinon tells Silica her hair looks cute. To demonstrate Sinon asks her to jump, to which her Girlish Pigtails bounce up and down in accordance. Silica notices Leafa's ponytail and asks her to do the same figuring that a similar thing could happen. However when Leafa jumps, something else starts bouncing instead...
  • In Hollow Fragment, when Kirito returns from the Hollow Area, he mentions that he met a female player in there. Everyone automatically assumes Kirito found himself a new girlfriend. Everyone female in his company, including Asuna, Silica, Lisbeth, Leafa, and Sinon, is having none of it.
  • Leafa, having been left out of the loop while her brother was trapped in SAO, is quite surprised to learn that not only are Kirito and Asuna married in-game, but they also have a daughter in-game. Yes, Leafa, you're an aunt.
  • Klein's roles in the slice of life cutscenes, especially when a fortune telling event claims that his compatibility with Kirito is the highest, much to the horror of the harem.
  • After seeing a play put on by some players, Silica suggests doing a play of "Snow White". After the Kirito's girls bicker over who would play Snow White opposite Kirito's prince. The solution they eventually reach? Kirito as Snow White, Pina as the prince, and the girls as the eight dwarves.
  • One event has Yui asking if she can sleep in the same bed as Kirito and Asuna. When her parents agree she says she looks forward to "spooning", which Kirito doesn't wish to know where she learned the word from. Asuna and Yui then go take a bath together where you can hear the following conversation:
    Asuna: Yui-chan! Stop playing with my boobs!
    Yui: But it feels so nice playing with them! You like it too, don't you, Mommy?
    Asuna: L-Like it? Don't be silly, Yui-chan!
    Yui: Huh? You don't like it? I guess I need to play with them some more until you do!
    Asuna: Argh! Yui-chan you're being too rough!
    Yui: Did you like it Mommy?
    Asuna: D-Did I like it?! Argh! ...Ahem...
    Kirito (thinking): They sound like they're having fun.
  • Silica and Kirito run into a fortune teller player, who predicts a dark fate for Kirito unless he stays close to a woman at all times. Silica takes it upon herself to cling to Kirito's arm for the duration of the trip back to Agil's shop. Lisbeth finds out about this too and insists she 'share' the burden of keeping Kirito safe. Leafa and Philia then arrive, and upon also hearing the story are determined to take part in being in close proximity to Kirito, where it finally gets to the point where all four girls have covered every inch of Kirito. Sinon then shows up and informs them the fortune teller is a fraud, before deciding to give her own prediction that there is a dark future ahead and disaster will befall Kirito. Cue Asuna arriving looking for Kirito. All of the girls run off leaving Kirito alone to try and explain it's Not What It Looks Like. Sinon really did predict the future.
    Sinon: If you're looking for Kirito, he's somewhere buried in that mass of women over there.
    All the girls run off leaving Kirito at Asuna's mercy.
    Asuna: Kirito... I think it's time you explained what's been going on, hmm?
    Sinon: Oh, look. Something terrible did happen to you after all.
    Kirito: You really can read people's futures, Sinon.
  • The scene where Yui catches Kirito and Asuna in the middle of kissing and believes they are trying to make a little sister for her, much to the shock and confusion of Kirito and Asuna. Yui then remembers that SAO has no mechanisms of having children, which prompts her to ask if they're 'practicing' for the real world. Turns out the last time Asuna gave The Talk by telling Yui kissing made babies has become problematic and she's forced to come clean. Yui is insistent on the truth, unable to understand what's so embarrassing about reproduction. Kirito and Asuna finally manage to quell her curiosity by explaining someone her age has no need to know the fine details as a child can't shoulder the responsibility.
  • One time, Kirito visits Asuna's room where Yui proceeds to let him in. However unbeknownst to him Yui, Asuna, and Lisbeth were just taking a bath before he came in. This results in a very awkward moment where Kirito has to explain Yui let him in and he actually had no idea they had been taking a bath. Just as Kirito is about to leave Leafa shows up at the door, to which Yui lets her in too. Leafa is also under the impression Kirito was peeping on the girls, before Kirito and Asuna explain it's Not What It Looks Like. Yui then notices Leafa smells nice from the soap she had just used and drags Kirito over to smell her. Then Philia and Sinon, shows up and the same process happens again, complete with Yui making Kirito smell the soap both girls. Finally Silica arrives, to which Yui still won't keep her mouth shut and for the fifth time explanation is required for the unusual sight. However in Silica's case the smell she bears isn't soap. All of the girls are curious and take turns in smelling her, except Kirito who is adamant about not being drawn in, until Silica finds out he already smelled all the other girls and insists Kirito smell her.
    Kirito: I told you I'm not a pervert!
    Asuna: How many times have we done this now? I think it's my turn to explain.
  • When Kirito is caught in a dungeon with Lisbeth, he starts hallucinating the Boss monster as a scantily-dressed, attractive girl and has difficulty attacking it. A desperate Lisbeth devises a solution that resorts to taking Kirito's head and pressing it against her soft bosom to remind him what's real and what's not. This finally snaps Kirito out of his hallucination and when it's all over, Kirito thanks Lisbeth and remarks he'll never forget how soft she felt. Lisbeth is having none of it and tells him to forget this ever happened, even though she was the one who told him to remember this to begin with.
  • Philia's attempt to prank Kirito with extremely spicy food fails when he shows no reaction. Then she tries the food and learns the hard way that Kirito has an abnormal sense of taste.
  • The entire scene where Klein teaches Yui that guys like breasts, which Kirito tries to stop. That is until the girls arrive and Yui starts asking about it. What does Klein do? He leaves when the girls are surprised about Yui asking it.
    • Then Yui starts groping all the girls one by one, in the name of research, and tries to get Kirito to say who's breasts he liked the most. Kirito unable to make a choice without landing himself on hot water chooses Yui's breasts, but that only ends up digging himself deeper.
  • A game of "playing house" with Yui get really interesting. It starts with Kirito as the daddy, Yui as the mommy, and Silica as their daughter, with Yui playing the role of mother very convincingly. Then Asuna, Lisbeth, and Leafa arrive and serve as Silica's younger sisters. Lisbeth tries to take advantage of being a younger daughter to get intimate with Kirito, only for Yui to be motherly and provide the physical contact for Lisbeth (including lying on Yui's lap). Sinon then shows up to which everyone forces her into the game too as the baby. Yui promptly cradles Sinon and offers her nipple, to which Sinon suckles and gurgles (and wishes someone would kill her due to the embarrassment). Philia then promptly joins in where Yui has her be the pet dog, and is only allowed to make barking sounds, but she ends up getting the best part of the deal since Kirito has to pet her.
  • There's an event triggered by Kirito giving Asuna a "his and hers" matching outfit set. She's so excited that she insists they change into them and go on a date. The next scene has commentary from lots of pedestrians jealous of/angry at the obnoxiously lovey-dovey couple.
  • One event has Kirito and Asuna's marriage data glitching so that it appears they are no longer married. When this is brought up to everyone else, Lisbeth is all too eager to point out that Kirito is single now and technically available, before Asuna has her behave. In order to test if this is a system glitch or if they accidentally divorced, the game allows Kirito to send proposals to any of the other girls. If you choose Lisbeth, she immediately starts contemplating how she and Kirito would make a fetching couple, before a furious Asuna makes her decline. If you choose Silica, she starts bringing up unpleasant memories of her weirdo fans sending her marriage proposals but then remarks she doesn't mind getting one for Kirito, before once again Asuna goes on the warpath. If you choose Sinon, when she is about to decline the proposal, she goes "oops" making it seem like she accidentally accepted, before revealing she was just messing with Kirito.
  • In Infinity Moment, there was an event where Lisbeth gets the idea to invite Kirito to come shopping with the girls. One of the questions Lisbeth ask towards Kirito was 'What color do you think is suitable for Asuna?'. Kirito think white suits Asuna. Cue Asuna's blush reaction and later the rest reveal that they were talking about buying the color for underwear. Oh, Crap! reaction by Kirito himself when he had no idea what the girls are talking about. Later, he sighed when he had to carry the bought stuffs and realized the shopping is only just begun despite spending so much time on one shop.
  • When Kirito is feeling sick, passing out from dizziness and fatigue onto his bed, he finds Strea in his room trying to make him feel better. Her solution is to lie down next to him and squeeze him tightly so that her boobs press against his back, as she's under the impression boobs make guy's feels better. Kirito wanting to get out of this, pretends he's recovered by leaping out of bed and putting on his equipment. This leads Strea to believe he really is better and that it was all thanks to her boobs!
  • Sinon and Kirito climbing up a tree for the former to practice her shooting skill. Kirito complains why the game reproduces the tickling feeling as at that time, Sinon's hair was near to his nose, which makes him sneeze, leading to an awkward moment between them.

    Lost Song 
  • When Kirito tries his hand a cooking stew, the end result doesn't even look edible. Asuna and Leafa are both too scared to try it, so Kirito has the first taste and enjoys it. The girls then have a go... and end up getting their mouths burned. Turns out they had forgotten Kirito's Bizarre Taste in Food and how much he can tolerate spice.
  • Kirito finds Silica and Lisbeth arguing over a helmet she made for Pina, with Lisbeth insisting it's perfect given she's an Ultimate Blacksmith while Silica finding it unfashionable. Lisbeth asks Kirito's opinion who finds it to be decent, however Silica points out that Kirito has no sense of fashion and will wear any junk so long as it has high stats. Kirito doesn't take too well to this remark, with Silica immediately becoming apologetic and starts tripping over her words as she tries to defend his fashion sense, which only proceeds to make Kirito even more uncomfortable.
  • Strea gives Asuna a handmade set of underwear as a gift. She has Asuna show it off to Kirito, dressing in only her underwear, too. She then suggests making Kirito his own pair of lingerie.
  • Lisbeth spends some time feeling up Silica's cat ears and tail (and since they're both girls, the anti-harassment code isn't violated), which leads to all the other girls doing the same. Then Silica gives Kirito permission to do so, just as Sinon and Yuuki walk in on this scene, which leads to Kirito telling them it's Not What It Looks Like. Sinon then threatens to send Kirito to the jail if he does the same to her...and then Strea decides to do so for him.
  • This is followed up with a scene of all the girls commenting how they'd love to have cat ears, so Agil decides to market his cat ear items. All of the girls try on the cat ears and get remarks on how cute they look, until Kirito is asked who he thinks looks the cutest. Once again wanting out of the awkward situation he's been put in, he goes for the least obvious answer and picks Agil, who everyone thinks looks awful wearing them. With the sale of the items ruined, Agil considers making Kirito buy all of them as a penalty. However Kirito's punishment doesn't end there, when all the girls try to make him wear the cat ears, with the final shot of a first person view of Kirito running away from the girls holding out cat ears to put on him.
  • Strea reveals to Kirito she also has a Navigation Pixie form in ALO. She tries to sit on Kirito's shoulder. However Kirito warns her that she should hold on before trying to shake her off. As payback Strea goes into Kirito's shirt, and Kirito is really ticklish. Kirito is forced to apologize to make Strea stop before she decides to permanently seat herself below Kirito's neck.
  • Kirito and Klein going on a dungeon raid leads them to finding a gravure photobook of NPCs from ALO. Klein is all over it and is having the time of his life, however Kirito is unable to see it due to the images being blurred out for minors. Klein feels sorry for Kirito and offers to book to him under the challenge he could hack around the filter, which Kirito is tempted by despite not being interested in the actual content. Right on cue, Asuna and Yui walk in as soon as it's in his hand. Kirito tries hiding it behind his back, but Asuna sneakily snags it and sees it's a photobook, which would have be fine had Klein not decided to tell Asuna it featured images of sexy girls. Kirito knows fully well Asuna's going to kill him, where she smiles sweetly and tells Kirito to come with her to her room.
  • Alicia Rue manages to get Kirito on his own. What does she do? She summons up a Moonlight Mirror and has Kirito look into it, which looks on into Sakuya's personal room. Where Alicia shows off Kirito to Sakuya, snuggling up against him while telling her she's on a date with him.

    Hollow Realization 
  • Kirito and Strea had a bonding moment about Yui during a meat hunting quest... then this happened:
    Strea: Actually... that kinda makes her my big sister too, huh?
    Kirito: W-Well, technically speaking, I suppose that...
    Strea: Well then, daddy~!
    Kirito: C-Cut it out... That's embarrassing hearing that from you...
  • When Kirito, Silica and Premiere are out on a quest together, they fight through some mobs before resting. Out of the bushes comes a squirrel. Silica thinks it's cute. Kirito thinks it's adorable. Premiere?
    Premiere: Shall I slay the beast?
  • At one point, the crew comes across a waterfall with a sign that says "Fortune shall reign down on those that endure". Thinking they'll get a cool drop if they succeed, everyone except Agil, Sinon, Leafa and Asuna gets under the waterfall...only to discover it's ice-cold water that quickly soaks them to the virtual bone, and even Klein, Strea and Yuuki give up quickly under the torture. Kirito remains and screams that he'll get whatever awesome drop comes...and it turns out to be a bucket that conks him on the head, and not even a bucket with crazy stats.
  • If you think Bridal Carrying men in Hollow Fragment is already funny, then how about doing the same thing on Eugeo, who even had a bed scene too!
  • The very concept behind Zero, an NPC you encounter after completing the third part of the Abyss of the Shrine Maiden DLC. She's another clone of Premiere and Tia, meaning she's a Blank Slate for others to influence, and Premiere immediately wants to become her friend and takes her under her wing. Though heartwarming, it soon becomes apparent that Premiere's time with the party has exposed her to very...questionable subjects, something she has no qualms with talking to Zero about.
    Premiere: ...have you heard of a "harem"? I was taught that it is another word for friends.
    Zero: Harem... I see...
    Kirito: (It's amazing to watch this, but at the same time, I'm starting to feel uneasy about it...)
    • Talk to Zero afterwards and you'll find that she's become a borderline Genki Girl with an insatiable curiosity about the world and a knack for spouting random quotes. While this is funny enough already, the fact that she's identical in appearance to Premiere gives off the impression that Premiere is the one saying these things. Here are some standout ones:
    Zero: Slacking off is most excellent.
    Zero: Official waifu status will one day be mine...
    Zero: The four emotions I can currently experience are happiness, anger, sadness, and curry.
    • The truth behind Zero's personality is more meta than either Premiere or Tia. Shortly after the Japanese release of Hollow Realization, fans were able to take part in a project that allowed them to interact with Premiere as an AI and shape her personality, with the promise that this personalized version of Premiere will be available in a future update. Zero is that personalized Premiere, now given free reign in the game, which means that we have the fans to thank for this.

    Millennium Twilight 
  • Doubling as fanservice, Lisbeth makes a mace from a new rare mineral. However its so heavy she has trouble carrying it. When Asuna goes to help her out, both of them fall over onto the ground. The next scene shows both girls are naked on top of each other, unable to understand how it happened. Turns out it can destroy armor, which includes all of their clothes. Also, Kirito was in the room the whole time watching the entire event unfold.
  • As a Call-Back to the time Kirito grabbed Sinon's tail, Asuna decides she wants to have a feel of a Cait-Sith's tail too. Since Asuna is a girl and can't trigger the anti-violation code, Sinon is at Asuna's mercy as she strokes her tail.
  • Kirito and Leafa run into Alicia and Sakuya, who invite them into an alliance for a specific quest. There's then a repeat of the scene from the anime, with Alicia and Sakuya cuddling up to and trying to seduce Kirito. Leafa even says the same line Sakuya did on Alicia "wearing" Kirito

    Memory Defrag 
  • In "Inherited Tradition A Priest's Will", Asuna tries to get Kirito spill the beans on what's been happening with Sinon. Avery reluctant Kirito explains that Suguha invited a friend to stay at their house so they could try out at a new job together, but fails to tell him it was Sinon. This leads Kirito to walk in on Sinon while she's changing, while a bumbling Kirito awkwardly asks if he should address as "Shino" and what she was doing in his house. An angry Sinon tells him to shut the damn door.
  • In "Flowers in the Wilderness", Sinon invites Kirito back to GGO to explore a newly discovered location accompanied by Dyne. It turns out Dyne has been Locked Out of the Loop and is still unaware that Kirito is a guy. He treats both him and Sinon as ladies much to Kirito's annoyance. It isn't until he overhears Sinon bringing up Asuna and Kirito flirting with another girl that he finally catches on that Kirito isn't a chick.
  • In "A Dark Plot Against Fliers", while Kirito, Sinon, and Leafa, are pursuing some guilty circus members through a forest. Leafa gets wedged in a branch and stuck. Sinon proceeds to ask if she's been going to hard on the snacks, to which Leafa angrily points out it's impossible to get fat in VR. Turns out Sinon was trolling her.

    Fatal Bullet 
  • At one point Klein is caught flirting with a female ArFAsys NPC and trying to ask for her number. When he's asked about it, he states his theory that asking her out 1000 times may trigger a special event, and he's currently on 500.
  • In the "Death Gun" event, Kirito uses an alternate account to infiltrate BoB (his canon GGO avatar). Unlike the anime, his friends are shocked that he looks like a girl. Klein wonders why he's using girl avatar and if his face was always this cute. After the end, Rain wants Kirito to use the cute girl avatar again, to which Kirito outright refuses to ever touch it.
  • Lisbeth, Silica, and Sinon take Yui swimsuit shopping, to which they all try on new swimsuits. However Yui reveals she invited Kirito to come over and check them out. Queue a Mass "Oh, Crap!" among all the older girls, with Yui unable to understand what everyone's so flustered about. Immediately Lisbeth and Sinon label Kirito a perv for agreeing to come, when it was Yui who invited him in the first place. While Silica is secretly disappointed Kirito-san can't see her.
    • Made even funnier is the fact that in a previous game, Lisbeth and Silica already took part in a swimsuit contest with Kirito as the judge, where that time Lisbeth had been the one pushing Kirito into doing it.
  • One event has Strea trying out being a dealer. It comes with a very revealing outfit which Strea has no problem wearing. When Kirito tries to subtly point out it's inappropriate, Strea misinterprets it as him not wanting anyone else to see her because he wants her all to himself. However Strea then adds on that she will do as Kirito wishes because he's her daddy. This causes a lot of confusion and assumptions from the surrounding players, leading Kirito to grab Strea and bail.
    Strea: You don't want other people to see me like this, do you? You want to keep me all to yourself. Well, aren't you greedy! Still, if that's what my dear Kirito wants of me, then how can I say no? You're my daddy after all.
    Player: What?! That guy's the dealer chick's "daddy"?
    Player: GGO isn't the kind of game parents would play with their kids, either... those two must be...


  • Kirito's reaction to people crowding over the duel between him and Heathcliff in the novel:
    "...Let's run away Asuna. We can go live in some small village on the 20th floor and plow fields."
    • Possibly more amusing than just funny, but it's great for Kirito that his title changed from "The Black Swordsman" to "The Dual Wielding Demon" shortly before he was forced to join Asuna's guild (because her guild leader thought he was stealing her from them and was against it) and has to don a white outfit.
  • In a side story "A Murder Case in the Area", Kirito and Asuna invite Heathcliff over for a meal to ask some question. Problem aside, the noodles they tasted are so bad that Heathcliff or rather, Akihiko Kayaba, THE CREATOR OF SAO OF ALL PEOPLE even wonder why the shop exist!
  • For fans who don't regard it as Squick, Chapter 16.5 (in which Kirito and Asuna have sex) is rather hilarious... for all the wrong reasons. It's very badly written in comparison to the rest of the story - Kirito's narration is consistently ridiculous (with phrases like "two years of semen" and "glopping sound" being thrown around) to the point that it seems like a Self-Parody, Asuna climaxes an impossible number of times, female genitals apparently look extremely silly (like white foam) in the SAO world... You either pretend it didn't happen or accept that it did and laugh the whole way through.
    • Or you can imagine it as the sex scene from the first Scary Movie.
    • Two years of semen (assuming the system saves the data on it as specific units, unlike the inconsistent patterns of real humans) = roughly a gallon. Try that mental picture on for size and try not to fall out of your seat giggling like an idiot.
      • Several hentai anime already took care of producing that mental picture.
  • During the honeymoon, Kirito tries out fishing. He doesn't get as much as a nibble. He blames his lack of success on how he spent all his luck "snagging a lovely wife". Then said wife teases him about said lack of success.
  • While the circumstances behind it are quite sad, it's somewhat funny to hear about Yuuki responding to her aunt, who's trying to manipulate Yuuki into willing the family home to her by saying that while she's in the Medicuboid, she can't hold a pen, leaving her aunt completely speechless.
  • Alicization Beginning
    • There are a couple jokes about Kazuto being a Henpecked Husband.
      • Shinon recruits Kazuto to her team for the fifth Bullet of Bullets because he can do crazy things like slice bullets out of the air. Then she says that she recruited another person as a "control system" for him. Cue Asuna walking in.
      • Because Kazuto hasn't explained yet, Shinon assumes that Asuna's heartbeat tracking app is an "anti-cheating system".
    • After waking up in Underworld, Kirito considers the possibility that he has been transported to a genuine alternate dimension. He dismisses it as ridiculous but nonetheless assigns it the "completely arbitrary" percentage of 0.03% chance of possibility. What really makes this funny is the line about Dramaturgy. "Within minutes, I should rescue a girl from monsters, fulfill the village elder's request, rise as a hero and eventually defeat the dreaded sorcerer lord". In other words, a Take That! against the genre and some of the previous Sword Art Online storylines.
  • Starting from Alicization Running, the back cover of the novels show Silica and Lisbeth holding up sign cards demanding more deban (more screen time).
    • Hilariously, the two eventually receive their own spin-off alongside Leafa.
  • Alicization Lasting has lots of these:
    • Project Alization's launch day has Alice (in a robot body that looks suspiciously similar to her UW avatar except she's weaning a school uniform) publicly confessing her feelings to Kirito in the middle of an interview with Rinko. If Asuna finds out about it, then Kirito is screwed.
    • Kikuoka interrupting Kazuto and Asuna's romantic moment in the hospital while bringing a lot of rare fish and cheese. Asuna gets annoyed for it, telling him to put them in a nearby fridge since the room isn't well ventilated and she doesn't like the smell of those foods.
    • After Kirito, Asuna, and Yui went into the World Tree for the ALO conference, where their friends and the Japanese players are gathering, Agil cracks a joke to Kirito about his overpowered account in UW and he might get killed off for it.
    • Remember the "super weird feeling" Silica mentioned after Kirito grabs Sinon's tail back in the Calibur arc? This time, When Kirito gives his thanks to Lisbeth and Silica for their involvement in the UW war, Silica takes this opportunity to hug Kirito, only for a jealous Lisbeth to grab her tail for it.
    • Kazuto, who is all alone in his home since his stepparents are at work and Suguha has kendo practice, got a call from Rinko about Alice running away from Rath. Then, just as Kazuto is about leave with his motorcycle, a postman appears, giving him a package box from Rath. What's inside the package box is Alice, freaking out Kazuto not once, but twice! And he would've freaked out the third time if it weren't for her telling him to stop messing around and get her out from it.
      • It even gets funnier when Alice explains to Kazuto about how she sneaked out from Rath: she deliberately let the cameras see her leaving Rath and then using the blind spots to pack herself in a box!
    • Alice addresses Minetaka (Kazuto's uncle) as "Father", which is, in Japanese culture, considered as a woman seeing herself as the man's wife, to Suguha's shock and disbelief.
      • She then outright tells Minetaka and Midori about his heroism in UW despite being an Ordinary High-School Student in the RW. Kazuto attempts to interrupt Alice by telling her that Minetaka and Midori have no idea about the whole UW stuff, only to find out that they already knew about him being "Black Swordsman Kirito" and his achievements from Aincrad to UW: someone else wrote a book about him and they read it. Kazuto keeps on denying those claims, saying that the book is full of "rubbish", because, in his part, he was credited with lots of things. Being the famed hero of SAO isn't easy, huh?
    • Kazuto gets caught in a Love Triangle between himself, Asuna, and Alice. How the hell did this happen? When Asuna saw Alice attempting to make advances on Kazuto by hugging him tightly while seating behind his motorcycle, both girls were exchanging Death Glares at each other.
      • For extra points, Asuna is acting all cocky while glaring at Alice.
      • Made even funnier when Kazuto reminded Asuna and Alice about their agreement back in UW, only for them to respond by telling him that the said agreement was only a ceasefire.
      • Just as Asuna and Alice are going for another cat fight, Kazuto attempts to flee from the scene, only for them to chase him instead!

Squad Jam spin-off light novel

  • Let's say this again; Chibi girl wearing pink combat suit and bunny-ears helmet, armed with a P90 sub-machine gun...
  • LLENN constantly mistaking the word 'squad' for 'squid'.
  • Team Battle Royale gamemode was just introduced into Battle of Bullets at the start of storyline. Pitohui explained that someone, apparently a novelist who is also a gun-nut, wrote to the game operator Zasker to have the gamemode included in the tournament. One have to wonder whether SIG-sawa is writing about himself or not...
    Pitohui: "Well, a gun maniac alone is unusual enough, but a novelist is even more so. What the heck is with such a combination? If you see such a guy walking around town, you’d better arrest him."

Progressive manga

Side stories/Other

  • There is But One Ultimate Way. Who wouldn't be shocked by that.
  • Sword Art ''Offline'', sanctioned by the author himself, is presented in a news-variety show format. Character traits subtly implied (ie. Asuna's clinginess and temper, Kirito's obliviousness and love of teasing others, Klein's dirty mindedness and misfortune, and Heathcliff's epic trolling) in the series are cranked Up to 11.
    • Winning moments of the DVD commentaries are the Playback Corner segments and Life Counseling (a la Oreimo) parts. To name a few examples:
      News Headline (Volume 1, Episode 1): The headline states that a lot of "girl players" revealed their true forms once Kayaba's revelation was unveiled. "This event only proves further," Asuna reports, "that there are no girls on the Internet." Kirito mentions that the trend of playing as the opposite gender is rather popular with players recently. Cue Asuna imagining a genderbent princess Kirito needing rescue from a prince Asuna.
      Episode Guest Yui: I have a question: Mama says she wants to have lots of kids with Papa. Uncle Klein, how exactly are babies made?
    • Yui's Offline episode is especially amusing. Continuing on the quote above, Klein has been accused multiple times by Asuna and Kirito of teaching Yui "improper things" and he has to answer honestly. He asks for Asuna's opinion.
      Asuna: W-W-Well Yui-chan, first you have to go down the menu and turn off the 'Ethics Code', and then—
      Kirito: S-S-Stop right there! We can't teach her that! Y-Yui, the truth is, when a couple gets married, a stork brings the baby!
      Yui: S-So, I, I'm not Mama and Papa's daughter??
    • From Episode 2 to Episode 5, Klein is the commentator of a Life Counselling segment, during which Kirito is assigned to sitting in a box where he gets an amusing label for his job like "Lovey-dovey deadweight".
    • In Leafa's first episode as anchor, the screen keeps switching to a close-up of Leafa's cleavage, which prompts Leafa to hit Kirito to keep him from watching every single time. He accumulates more and more bandages over the course of the episode.
    • Kirito being a Butt-Monkey in these shorts. Frequently ending up as a victim of Accidental Pervert situations which leads to him getting beaten up by Asuna and Leafa. The crowning moment had to be in Episode 9 where the screen blacks out for an extended duration where Kirito's cries of pain can be heard before returning he can be seen strewn over the desk bruised and bleeding.
  • The manga 4koma omakes. Most — if not all — of them. There's a lot of Notable mentions :
    • The many many back stories before Kirito met with his friends such as how Lizbeth gets her house and outfit in the first place and Leafa and Recon's first encounter.
    • Anything with Asu-nyan. And no it is not Azusa from K-On!!
      • It turns out that Lisbeth want to dress her up to impress Asuna's boyfriend. Lizbeth suggest to try out her new look. Unfortunately, that first customer turns out to be Kirito. Cue to him saying he has gone to the wrong place making her embarrassed.
      • The next 4koma scene Kirito brought up the catgirl shopgirl when Asuna suggest to find a blacksmith. Cue to Asuna nearly stabbing him.
      • Ironically, one of the 4koma shows Asuna in a sexy succubus outfit. Lisbeth really loves to cosplay people.
    • Klein's encounter with a nekama (a guy pretending to be a girl on the internet) and cue to how the end results.
    • The main reason why Agil's shop never sell his stuffs well? He was making deals...when he's asleep.
    • In a rather ironic aversion of the anime commentary in Yui's episode, the manga omakes reveal that (in that continuity) Yui was observing Asuna and Kirito's behavior from the start. Everything. Possibly including, yes friggin 16.5. To quote:
      • It turns out that Kirito requested Asuna to do a Cat Girl cosplay of the outfit made by Lisbeth instead.
  • After the cast for the Mother's Rosario arc was revealed, Erica Mendez posted this funny bit on her Twitter.
    The boys don't know it yet, but we're officially changing their names to "Eric(k)a" and making the Sleeping Knights an all Eric(k)as guild.
  • The "Popularity Contest Questions" are a combination of "trivia for the hardcore otaku" and "more hilarity than can be fitted into the main stories".
    Q for Kirito: If polygamy was possible, would you feel like making a harem? If you do, who would you pick?
    Kirito: I-I wouldn't make such a thing.
    Q for Kirito: Is Triple Blades impossible?
    Q for Yui: How do you feel looking at your parents' lovey-dovey behaviour, Yui-chan?
    Q for Yui: What are your thoughts on people aside from Kirito and Asuna?
    Yui: I think they are all very nice people. However, I do have a problem with Lisbeth-san getting me to do her school homework.
    Q for Asuna: What were your thoughts when you found out it's possible to remove the Ethics Code?
    Asuna: I will never use it! I remember that I thought that.
    Q for Asuna: How far do you go when flirting with Kirito in public? (like holding hands, or kissing) Honestly now, please, lol.
    Asuna: I guess hugging would be the limit. I’m fine with it, but Kirito-kun would just, you know.
    Q for Heathcliff: Are you a boke? Or a tsukkomi?
    Heathcliff: I realized that there were mere few who laughed at my jokes as boke when I was an elementary school student.

Alternative Title(s): Sword Art Online The Movie Ordinal Scale