Episode One: "PILOT NO JUTSU~!"
- The sum-up of Sakura's Hate Dumb in the first episode: "STOP EXISTING!"
- Mizuki dares Naruto to steal the scroll of sealing.
Naruto: What's in it for me?
Mizuki: Pack'a smokes?
Iruka: Aw, did you have to wake me up for this? I was having that awesome ninja dream where I'm a ninja.
- Naruto (holding the ancient scroll): HOW THE HELL DO I SMOKE THIS?
Mizuki: Dude, you are a ninja.
Iruka: I am?! Holy shit, that's awesome!!
- Yami: "Why is everybody in this show a f*cking ninja?!"
Episode Two: "SKIPPING NO JUTSU~!"
- Naruto: "Why does everything I punch try to STALK ME!?"
- Naruto's Ninja Job Interview
Hokage: Greetings Naruto, I am the third Hokage.Naruto: I love Hokages!Hokage: Your ninja passport photo sucks...Naruto: F*cking Hokages!
Hokage: Nice job Naruto, you gave my grandson brain damage. Now I'm definitely making you a ninja.Naruto: Really?Hokage: ... No.Naruto: F*cking Hokages!
- Konohamaru raises a good point concerning Naruto's "training."
Konohamaru: I don't get it, Naruto... How does teaching me to be a sexual deviant help me to become a ninja?Naruto: Become a what now?
- "Just f*cking believe it!"
- Naruto (after Konohamaru transformed into an Gonkish woman) "Great, now I won't have another boner for the rest of my life. But that's mostly due to my CONSTANT SMOKING."
Episode Three: "FANSERVICE NO JUTSU~!"
- Sasuke: "Maybe the next scene will have something halfway intelligent in it."
- Naruto: "I CAN'T STOP POOPING!!!"
- "Love me, you sexy ninja bastard!!"
- Sasuke: (Completely deadpan mid-rape) "I don't like this."
- Naruto: "Now I have transformed into Sasuke so that I can seduce Sakura! I am such an appealing character!"
- Sasuke: (Completely deadpan mid-rape) "I don't like this."
- After hearing they were both put on Sasuke's team...
Naruto and Sakura: THREESOME NO JUTSU!
- Having Yami pop up saying "This is a show about ninjas! Apparently."
- The flubbed line from episode three being left in was good. "Oh my god Sasuke is so pucki- gah blah... oh my god Sasuke is so fucking pretty!" The camera actually rewinding after Naruto screws up his line makes it even more funny somehow.
- Naruto: Why do all the girls like Sasuke so much? Maybe it's his gorgeous eyes? Or his full, pouting lips? Or his sexy, emotionless voice? Come to think of it, why do I like Sasuke so much?
- BI-CURIOUS NO JUTSU!
- David Bowie's Starman parody.
- Oh crap I need to take a crap! Be right back Sakura I need to poop in the toilet because I need to take a dump!
- I Don't Wanna Wait playing whenever Naruto forces himself upon Sasuke.
- "Shhh, I'm trying hear the nudity."
Episode Four: "BOWIE NO JUTSU~!"
- Sasuke's flashback, complete with an "emo-off".
Sasuke's Brother: Hey Sasuke. You wanna know why you will never defeat me? Because my voice is much sexier than yours.Sasuke: Damn you, Sasuke's Brother. I challenge you to an emo-off.Sasuke's Brother: I accept your challenge. *draws deep breath* *siggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*Sasuke: *siggggggggghhhhhhhhh*Sasuke's Brother: *siggggggggghhhhhhhhh* (quickly) Iwin.Sasuke: Curse you, Sasuke's brother. I shall get you back. Somehow...
- When Sasuke hits Bowie-Sensei mid-song...
Naruto: Holy shit, Sasuke! I think you just killed nineteen-seventies experimental glam-rock sensation David Bowie!David Bowie: Nothing can kill David Bowie!Naruto: Zombie Ninja David Bowie is my sensei! This is the best day ever!
- Naruto: I'm sure they'll come back once they realize they forgot about me! *three and a half days later* THEY DIDN'T FUCKING COME BACK!
Episode Five: "MILKSHAKE NO JUTSU~!"
- Naruto killing Mittens spraying catguts everywhere, which is somehow reminiscent of Sasuke's twelfth birthday party.
- Naruto singing along to the soundtrack.
- "Hooray. I am ecstatic."
- The Stinger with audio of a character from Perfect Hair Forever shouting "I HAVE SEX WITH DOGS! WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?" dubbed over a shot of Kiba with his hand on Akamaru, his dog.
- Joe Hokage talking about a bridge and how one guy made a bridge and then some other guys made a bridge and some other guys made a bridge that was better than the other bridges and now everyone makes a bridge just so they can get attention even though bridges aren't anything amazing in the first place.
Naruto: What the Hell is he talking about?Bowie-Sensei: Apparently, bridges...
- "He must be an ocablu blah-blah-blah!" Beat "He must be some kind of optical illusion!"
- "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!"
Episode Six: "WEEABOO NO JUTSU~!"
- Naruto randomly singing Tarzan Boy, and getting to know his all-time idol The Rower right after that.
- Sasuke starts off with a Badass Boast of "Now Zabuza, you're about to feel the pain my entire village felt when Sasuke's brother betrayed me." Cue Flash Back:
Sasuke's Brother: "Hey Sasuke, I bought you a puppy."Sasuke (monotone): "Yaaayyyy"Sasuke's Brother: "And then I killed it."Sasuke (monotone): "Nooooooo"
- The entire part in the "The following is a fan based parody" bit, read by Zabuza getting a blowjob from Gato.
- Naruto throwing a kunai at the narrator.
Naruto: "A narrator!" (throws a kunai towards the screen)Narrator: "Ow! Son of a shit!"Sakura: Naruto, what the hell?Naruto: "Can't you hear them? They're everywhere! Narrating us!"Narrator: Sakura didn't know what to make of Naruto's insane ramblings...Naruto: "There she is again!" (throws another kunai)Narrator: "JESUS CHRIST, MY FUCKING THROAT IS BLEEDING!"
- This bit:
Naruto: Man, This is even more frustrating then the time I accidentally turned off my Animal Crossing game.
Mr. Resetti: Hey motherfucker, what did I tell you about resetting?!
*punch* *punch* *punch*
Naruto: I was waiting for you this time, you mole fucker!
- This part from the beginning:
David Bowie: Naruto, you remind me of the babe.
Naruto: What babe?
David Bowie: The babe with the power.
Naruto: What babe?
David Bowie: The power of voodoo-
Naruto: What babe?
David Bowie: Naruto, haven't you seen Labyrinth?
Naruto: Can't say I have, David-Bowie-Sama-Sensei-Senpai-San-Sama.
David Bowie: ... What the fuck is wrong with you?!
Zabuza: Now there is nothing you can do to stop me from killing Tazuna.
Naruto: WE WILL NEVER LET YOU—wait, who the hell is Tazuna?
Naruto: Oh, right. WE WILL NEVER LET YOU KILL THAT OLD MAN!!
- Naruto's failure at moonspeak.
Sakura: Well Naruto, what did he say?Naruto: He said you're a whore!
- And later...
- The sharingan is an app, apparently.
Narrator: "That's right folks, with the new iJutsu app, you can download opponents jutsu before they've even finished using them!"Naruto: "Narrator!" (throws kunai)Narrator: "AUGH! Why!"
Episode Seven: "FARTABET NO JUTSU~!"
- "Check it out, Bowie-Sensei! I can fart the alphabet!"
- Sakura's description of chakra, where she describes all the pictures on the scroll background literally.
- Sakura getting disqualified because David Bowie didn't say "go" yet.
Naruto: A tree!
Nooowww back to the tree!
I've got a knife!
The tree again!
- Zabuza taking Haku's repeating "Hai" (meaning "Yes" in Japanese) as "Hi," as in the greeting, leading him to go "Yes, hi, Haku." repeatedly after he wakes up from Haku paralyzing him.
- "Fucking moonspeak..."
- Kaiza being voiced by Monkey D. Luffy.
- "They may be able to take my life, but they will never take my freedom- *slice* Ow, my freedom!"
- Especially since Little Kuriboh was originally making it seem like Kaiza was going to a certain freaky fish guy.
- This is meant to be a play on what they did in Naruto the Abridged series, where they did make him "a certain freaky fish guy".
- The introduction of Kaiza.
Gilligan: Excuse me. Mister, have you seen a puppy around here?Kaiza: Hell yes I did. And you can bet your ass he tasted great.Gilligan: You're scary.Kaiza: Kid, you don't even know the half of it.Gilligan: What happened to those other kids?Kaiza: They also tasted great.Gilligan: Huh?Kaiza: Hungry?
- This exchange when Tazuna finishes his story:
Tazuna: And so, Gilligan was left all alone in the world, with nobody to love him.Sakura: Wait, what about you—Tazuna: WITH NOBODY TO LOVE HIM! BRRRRRR!
- The ending:
Naruto: The old man's story has taught me a valuable lesson! And it is that we should not complain about Masako leaving, we should be grateful for everything he has done for us and respect his decision to move on with his life!(Beat)Sakura: Why are you on the floor?Naruto: I'm waiting for Sasuke to FUCK ME!
- This bit by Sasuke:
Sasuke: -Monotone- He was like the Sasuke's father I never had because Sasuke's brother killed him noooooooooooooo.
Sasuke: (All while in the background he monotones "Om Nom Nom Nom Nom") Nobody will ever understand the food I taste. The food that tastes like regret. And noodles. Just like the taste in my mouth when Sasuke's Brother ruined my life. For some reason, there were noodles involved. It was weird.
- The Take That! at Vegeta 3986. A scene revolved around one of Tazuma's workers, whose voice sounds eerily similar to Vegeta's, bringing his girlfriend on to work on the bridge. She promptly ruins it.
"SON OF A BITCH! DAAHHHHHHH-" *boom*
- Masako X cameos as a guy building a bridge. Sakura says that itís shoddy, incomplete and he didnít include the best parts.
Episode Eight: "ENNETHING NO JUTSU~!"
- Naruto using MasakoX's disclaimer at the beginning of the episode... without permission.
Naruto: Who needs permission? This is the Internet! I can do and say whatever I want, and nothing bad will happen! I can say Team Four Star is overrated! I can say that Abridging is dead!Sakura: Naruto...Naruto: I can even say that My Little Pony is a giant stack of shi—.[This video is no longer available due to butthurt My Little Pony fans][Sorry about that][(Actually we're not sorry)][(Don't fuck with My Little Pony)]
- Naruto meets Haku.
Naruto: HolyshitthischickisfuckingHOT!Haku: [Actually, I'm a guy]Naruro: HolyshitthisguyisfuckingHOT! But wait, if he's hot, then that means I find guys attractive! And if I find guys attractive, then that must mean I'm...*Dramatic closeup accompanied by dramatic music*Naruto: A girl! THAT IS THE ONLY EXPLANATION!
- Naruto and Sasuke talking about the latter's pronunciation of "anything" as "ennething". Doubles as a Take That! to Masako X's same pronunciation.
Naruto: Okay, okay, say this with me: "Eh."Sasuke: "Eh."Naruto: "Nee."Sasuke: "Nee."Naruto: "Thing."Sasuke: "Thing."Naruto: "Anything."Sasuke: "ANNENAAAAAA!"
- SUICIDE NO JUTSU!
- "It's a good thing I play a lot of Assassin's Creed! *falls from tree* OHGODASSASSINSCREEDTAUGHTMENOTHING!"
- "OH SASUKE! YOU CAME AND YOU SAW THAT I FARTED! AND I THINK YOU ARE GAY! OH SASUKE!"
- All of Zabuza's plans to kill the protagonists are taken from Disney movies.
Zabuza: I'm going to disguise myself as a hideous old woman, then I'm going to offer them this [holds out an apple]Haku: [An apple?]Zabuza: Not just any apple, Haku. A poisoned apple, and they'll have no choice but to eat it, and when they do they'll fall asleep. Forever.Haku: [That's the plot to Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.]Zabuza: What? Really? Damnit. Wait, I've got it. What if we got them to somehow prick their fingers on a spindle...Haku: [Sleeping Beauty.]Zabuza: Crap! Well what if we lure them into a valley and cause a stampede...Haku: [The Lion King.]Zabuza: Turn them all into frogs and make everything really racist.Haku: [The Princess and the Frog.]Zabuza: [crushes his apple] FUCK IT! Let's just kill them!
- "Honestly, Naruto, your chakra levels must be TOTAL SHIT~!" "KATRA!"
- "I'm going to take off my clothes now~!" "Please don't." "STRIPTEASE NO JUTSU!"
- Naruto watching a Mermaid Melody fandub starring Will Ferrell.
- "THIS IS THE WORST PAIN IMAGINABLE!"
- Kaito to Lucia: You are a smelly pirate hooker! Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island!
- David Bowie exchanges some pre-fight banter with Zabuza.
David Bowie: Don't worry, Sakura. I've been training my whole life for a fight like this.Zabuza: But what about your students? Are they prepared?David Bowie: Yes.Zabuza: Haha. You lie. How could you possibly have trained them to defeat a shinobi of my caliber?David Bowie: They can climb trees.Zabuza: Is... that a... joke?David Bowie: Well what are you going to do, blow bubbles at us?Zabuza: (childishly) No! (quietly) Haku, forget the Bubble Technique. We're gonna have to do this the old-fashioned way.
- David Bowie notices Naruto didn't return home the night before.
David Bowie: I swear that boy is going through some CHA-CHA-CHANGES!
Episode Nine: Feng Shui No Jutsu
- "Do I look like some kind of pussy-ass to you, pussy-ass?"
- "I don't really care for that name. That hurts my feelings."
- This conversation between Zabuza and David Bowie
Zabuza: Looks like the Calvary isn't coming to save you!David Bowie: Cavalry.Zabuza: Wha-?David Bowie: It's cavalry. Calvary is the hill where they crucified Jesus. Surprisingly I didn't expect a fucking hill to sprout legs and rush over here to help me out.
David Bowie: Where the hell were you?Naruto: I was busy fucking a dead pig!Zabuza: Your students are fucking weird.
- "Oh my god, don't call him Sasuke-kun, you sound like a fffffffffffffffffffffucking idiot."
- Naruto entering the Crystal Ice Mirrors and talking to Sasuke about cocks.
- Sasuke's supposed death:
*Naruto sobs while holding Sasuke*Sasuke: Quit making out with my chest.Haku (in a straight English accent): GAY.*Naruto immediately draws on the Nine-Tailed Fox's power out of rage*
The Land Of Snow Movie
- DATTEBAYO MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
- Every scene with Japanese Michael Bay
Japanese Michael Bay: Annnd, action!... CUT! Cut! Cut! No! The camera needs to shake about more! Make it so I can't tell what's going on, the audience loves that kind of crap!
(cuts to the footage while the screen shakes uncontrollably)
Japanese Michael Bay: Yeah, shake it! Shake the camera! Shake it more! MORE DAMMIT!
- Every rider (Not that kind.) going "sorry" in a Creepy Monotone.
- IruKamina: "If there's ever one lesson that I taught you that you must remember, it is this: Believe in me who believes in the you who believes in the One Piece!"
- Assistant Director: (in YGOTAS Joey's voice, to the director) Sir, I'm afraid the princess has been kidnapped, oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no!
Tristan: (from a nearby truck) I think the assistant Director is gay!Yugi: (popping up beside him) Oh, you don't know that!
- The fact that M. Night Shamamalamasama-kun is pretty much Master Pain / Betty from Kung Pow! Enter the Fist.
- "THE POLAR EXPRESS IS TRYING TO KILL MEEEE!"
- David Bowie explaining the Villain of the movie:
David Bowie: They're a rare breed of Ninja called Forgettable Movie Villains. You've never heard of them and after you've finish fighting them you won't remember it even happened. But for the next 90 minutes you'll think they are the biggest threat you've faced in your entire life!
Cliche Henchman No. 1: Hey, David Bowie. The Seventies called; they want their timely references back.David Bowie: Oh yeah? Well Advent Children called and they want their crappy villains back!
- The ending.
Naruto: "And so, thanks to the MacGuffin crystal's power, the Land of Snow was once again turned into a sun filled paradise, completely devastating the country's ecosystem! And it was all thanks to me! But I couldn't have done it without The Rower."The Rower: "Yes you could."
- "I'M WIPING OUT YOUR GUYS WITH MY NINJA TRAAAAAAAIN!"
- "This is for all the fans of Avatar: The Last Airbender, you white washing son of a bitch!"
- M. Night Shamamalamasamakun: "Suddenly, I am reminded of a joke: What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? beat My ass."
- Naruto: Well, M. Night Shamamalamasamakun, I also have a joke!
M. Night Shamamalamasamakun: What, who let this guy in?Naruto: What do you get when you cross a chicken, and an internet meme?M. Night Shamamalamasamakun: I don't careNaruto: Cluggyachigawn! (Clucky on screen)M. Night Shamamalamasamakun: ... I don't get it.M. Night Shamamalamasamakun: Would somebody kill this guy already?Naruto: But wait, I didn't tell you about the log yet! *Gets knocked out*
- Naruto: Well, M. Night Shamamalamasamakun, I also have a joke!
- This part:
M. Night Shamamalamasamakun: And it's great because they're like talking to the dog, and it's like...they're saying "I love you" and the dog is like "Auwowowowowowoo". And it sounds like it..its saying "I love you" back to them, its really adorable. You gotta..you gotta watch it on YouTube one time, man. So anyway, what was it you wanted?Guard: Like I said, sir, the prisoners have escaped.M. Night Shamamalamasamakun: Aw, come on, man. What? No. I was having such a good day. beat Hey. beat Hey.Guard: What, sir?M. Night Shamamalamasamakun: Owowowowowowowoo.Guard: I love you too, sir.
- "Very well, I choose... NARWHALS."
- The music following this, coupled with the fact THEY ACTUALLY USE NARWHALS IN THE MOVIE, makes it ten times funnier.
- "Stand by Me no Jutsu!"
- "My Heart Will Go On no Jutsu!"
- At one point, Naruto says "M. Night Shyamalamasama-kun" really quickly.
- When Naruto lands face first on the ground during the climax.
Naruto: *muffled* Not so fast, Shamamalamasama!
- The Rasengan. Doubles as a Crowning Momentof Awesome.
Naruto: KAAAAAAA... MEEEEEEEEE... HAAAAAAAAA... MEEEEEEEEEEEE- I mean RASENGAN! *hits Shamamalamasama*M. Night Shamamalamasama: OOOOWWW! You punched me in the tummy! *gets blown away while the Super Mario World Spin Jump sound plays*
- The Stinger:
Naruto: Doodoodododoodooooooooooo, I made this movie in a week!
Naruto and the Curse of the Internet Drama (Currently viewable on Youtube)
- The movie proper is animated using Flash drawings, and it allows for some very funny facial expressions. As well as the fact that Sasuke and Sakura are reading all their lines from their scripts.
- "Your mom was really dissappointing! When I put my penis inside of her!"
- The parts where Naruto talks about fighting the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the Power Rangers, especially this line:
Naruto: Did you see that?! At first the Power Rangers started fighting me, but then we decided that we were all friends and so we went to McDonald's to get food and have a big party that ended with Tommy punching the Grimace in the face!
- The bit with Clucky the Chicken.
- Naruto's song about punching people in the face. It should also double as Crowning Music of Awesome.
Ghost!Sensei: "You see, it is a parody of that famous movie where they are all busting ghosts. I believe it is called "Bill Murray Vs. the Afterlife Starring Dan Aykroyd"."
- The same goes for Ghost!Sensei's song, and his line afterwards:
- "Now it is time for the funniest part of the movie!" (farts)
- The part where Naruto declares himself to be a doctor, and diagnoses Sakura with terminal cancer.
Naruto: "... Also, your cancer is now gone!"Naruto: "Because it killed you!"
- This, definitely Sasuke's best exchange in the movie:
Sasuke: "Naruto, would you like that blowjob now?"Naruto: "Yes I would, Sasuke! You may now suck on my cock-penis!"
- "And now the sex is over! You can stop enjoying it now!"
- The theme song.
- Most of the preview for new episode airing on March 23rd
Character: Oh, come on. I'll give you some paper clips and a Subway coupon.Sasuke: Weeeeeeell, okay.
- Buy the shirts.
- One character (and the announcer) trying to persuade Sasuke to do things by promising him great power and stuff, only to eventually sway him with this:
Iruka/Meowth: Hey, Hokage!Hokage: What the fu— *Cuts to next scene*
- Fozzie Bear randomly appearing out of nowhere in front of Sasuke delivering his signature Catch-Phrase.
- All of the "Randomly [Insert Accent/Voice Here] [Insert Character Here]!" part, especially ''Randomly Meowth Sensei guy!" where Iruka is replaced with Meowth while he talks with Hokage:
Naruto: ORG BORG BORG BORG BORG!
- "Randomly Swedish Naruto!"
- Everything from the None Piece crossover; the ultimate Rapid-Fire Comedy video.
Naruto: Your constant disassembly of dialogue is interfering with any buh blah bluh bah bluh blah.*Luffy blinks twice*Naruto: Your constant disassembly of dialogue is interfering with any rational plot development.Luffy: WHAT THE FUCK IS A PLOT?!
- "Now everything makes sense. Forever."
- Naruto and Luffy sum up Purple Eyes WTF's videos:
- An Uchiha Family Christmas