Funny / Life SMP

Season 1: 3rd Life

Day 1

• Midway through Day 1, Cleo, Scar, Bdubs, Tango, Impulse, Scott, Jimmy and Etho all happen to run into each other in the center of the map. They hang out there for a while, dancing to Bdubs's jukebox while Scott questions why he spent his one diamond on that of all things… before being interrupted by about twenty phantoms. Cue mass panic as the entire group is forced to cram themselves into Bdubs's tiny little mine entrance.
• After killing the entire flock of phantoms, Cleo nearly suffers the server's first death... by tree.
• Throughout Day 1, Martyn has gone around the entire server jump-scaring people with the Creeper hiss sound effect. Most of everyone's reactions are comical, with Ren's computer crashing in the middle of the phantom attack when this happens... which Martyn interprets as the sound effect scaring him to death.
• As Ren and Martyn promote Renchanting in the chat, Scott asks if anyone has an adblocker.
  Smajor1995: anyone got a good ad blocker?
  Smajor1995: im being "hounded" right now ;)

Day 2

• By Day 2, word of the dark oak 'monopoly' being held by the Desert has spread to the secluded Flower Forest faction... who then reveal they have their dark oak forest in their corner of the map. Cue the world's most ridiculous display of busting down capitalism.
  • Martyn starts doing a Grian impression on the way to the smaller forest, which his episode displays as Grian's head photoshopped over his own.
  • While collecting saplings as proof, Scott, Martyn, Joel and Jimmy decide to plant one sapling each to grow their own dark oak tree in front of the Desert's eyes. As if holding their own saplings isn't enough, they have the audacity to flaunt how they can collect the wood just as easily as the Desert can, out of sheer spite.
  • At the Desert base, Martyn claims that they're a "travelling magic act" by the name of... "SoliBeanSmajorLittlewood... the Fantastico".
  • Grian and Scar's reaction to this fiasco is to start panicking... then setting fire to the tree.
  • After the ordeal, Scott and Martyn dub the Desert's monopoly "the Patreearchy".
• Previously at the end of Day 1, Martyn has killed a Pillager captain and gained the Bad Omen effect, attempting to use it as leverage against the Village People for dissing the Renchanting business. On Day 2, with only a minute or two left on the effect timer, Martyn then attempts to troll everyone by standing on the edge of the chunks near the Village and start taunting over how close he is to starting a raid... only for Scott to knock him into the Village chunk. This eventually devolves into an argument over who's to blame for starting the raid.

Day 3

• While moving a pair of villagers to Dogwarts, Cleo and Etho start poking fun at Bdubs' height.
  • Bdubs says the route he's taking is only for "perfect height people". Cleo responds that this means he has to go the other way.
  • Bdubs says he's 5'10". Cleo asks if he grew.
  • The fact that Cleo is participating in this while admitting that she's shorter than him.
• When Scar turns Red, Grian explains to his audience that, while he is still Green and thus can't kill people directly, he's still under Scar's command, and believes that Scar is going to go "a bit crazy" and "do what Red Names do". When Grian goes back to Scar, he's dragging around a bee on a leash which he's named Mr. Bubbles, and insists that they go steal BigB's cookie.
  Grian: Your job is not to steal cookies, your job is to take everyone else's lives!
  Scar: No, I really want the cookie.

Day 4

• Scott and Jimmy managed to secure a cow that they named Daisy, and used her to start a cow farm underground. When Jimmy got a nametag, they named the original Daisy at the start of Day 4 (although she was completely indistinguishable from the other cows), and vow to never kill her. Not two seconds later, Scott accidentally clobbers Daisy to death.
  Scott: I just did a bad thing...
  Jimmy: NO, YOU DID NOT!
  Scott: (laughing, high-pitched) She moved in front of my axe!
• While rigging a trap, Tango refers to the lava as "happy fun sauce".
• At one point, Tango visits Dogwarts, where he learns that Ren has declared himself king. He asks if Ren got his crown from a cereal box.
• After Scar spent almost a full session trying to threaten him into handing over the enchantment table throughout Day 3, Ren's sheer bafflement at Scar's audacity to come to him asking to use the enchanter again on Day 4 is hilarious.
• Grian did his sinister laugh after his TNT Minecart trap exploded killing three players: Jimmy, Rendog, and Skizzleman. Even Big B and Scott fear him.
• When Scar comes over to the Crastle to try to sell them a No-Kill Pass, Bdubs tells him not to take a step closer. Scar responds by getting into a boat and rowing it on land to move closer.

Day 5

• Dogwarts shows up at the Flower Forest faction demanding tribute, which ends with Jimmy burning the Dogwarts banner given to them and telling Dogwarts to get lost after they not-so-subtly threatened Scott. That much is some mixture of Awesome and Heartwarming. What makes this funny is that in classic Jimmy fashion, he accidentally sets himself on fire trying to burn the banner.

Day 6

• At the end of Day 6, Joel places a bounty on Martyn for killing his wolves, who is quite delighted and proud of this. What makes this funny is the bounty in question:
  Smallishbeans: 64 dead bushes to the person who brings me inthelittlewoods' head

Day 7

• At the start of Day 7, Ren recounts another one of the stories his mother told him.
  Ren: My mama taught me once many years ago when I was a wee lad, that to kill the hydra, one must cut off the head.
  (Background music stops)
  Martyn: I mean, I don't think that's limited to just the hydra; I think most things will die if you cut their heads off.

Day 8

• Halfway through the final day, when Scar is trying to access the sky base using a water bucket stream Grian has put down, Grian continuously picks the water back up again just before Scar can reach it. It's a funny few moments in a bleak episode otherwise filled with Characters Dropping Like Flies.
• During the Battle of Dogwarts, Grian dives down from the Red Desert's sky base under the effects of a slow-falling arrow, slurring, "I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!"
• When Bdubs replies to Scar that his favourite brand of watch is Nokia, four words pop up in the corner of Scar's screen.
  He's dead to me
• While the ensuing fist-fight to the death in the cactus ring is classic Tear Jerker territory, Scar takes the time to throw all of the Dogwarts banners in his inventory and their enchanter into a fire, knowing that the ghosts of the Dogwarts forces are watching. It's as petty as it is hilarious.

Season 2: Last Life

Day 1

• Martyn's Hurricane of Puns based around the "aha" sound.
• Lizzie naming her three dogs after things that scare people — "Dragon", "Ogre", and "Taxes".

Day 2

• Grian and Mumbo go looking for diamonds together and start pretending to have hidden diamonds nearby and saying "My diamonds are right... HERE!" while mining into an area only to reveal no diamonds. Over and over again. What makes this even better is that when they finally do find diamonds, it's right after the first time they didn't say it.
• Lizzie partakes in Tango's "You Bet your Life" game on Day 2, proposing her own husband to be the first to reach Red, especially after he made his Boogey attempt on her earlier in the session. Despite having regrets after walking away, mere minutes later, her bet is fulfilled as Joel gets revenge killed by Pearl for his Boogey kill on Scott, meaning Lizzie gets to turn back around and collect her prize almost immediately. For bonus points, Joel's scream can be heard in Lizzie's video as he fights the duo in the Scottage.

TBA

• After learning that Scott and Pearl have the Enchantment Table, Grian, Impulse and Mumbo decide to tunnel under the Scottage to try to find it. The trouble is, none of them can manage to stay quiet for more than a second, meaning Scott hears them almost instantly, and decides to poke his head into their tunnel. Cue the three of them running away screaming.
  • This happens again on Day 5 after Grian and Joel try to tunnel into the base to look for Scott and Pearl's Villagers. Scott is pretty fed up with it at this point and tells them to scram.
    Grian: Grian's not here now. Please leave a message after the beep. Beep!
    Scott: Hi, Grian, this is Scott, I'd prefer it if you weren't in my base right now.

Day 6

• On Day 6, Scott finds an Enderman in BEST's rock base. When Pearl asks him to lure it outside so they can trap it in a boat, she falls for a certain classical blunder that causes Scott to take the conversation in a decidedly more serious direction. The cherry on top is Cleo's reaction: laughing heartily, then offering solidarity.
  Pearl: Okay, come out, Scott? 'Cause he'll chase you...
  Scott: I already came out! It was a few years ago, Pearl! It was a hard time!
  (Cleo laughs)
  Pearl: A few years ago, ha!
  Cleo: Yeah, I know that feelin'.

Season 3: Double Life

Day 1

• Whenever anyone goes near the Pillager Outpost at the corner of the map, they're usually chased away by about a dozen Pillagers being aggro'd on them at the same time, each of those Pillagers with crossbows aiming to fire. It's horrifying to be the player they're targeting, but hilarious to watch it happen.
• When Joel is using an axe of all things do the soulbound synchronization test with Scar, Grian is panicking in the mountains that he almost died in one hit. What makes it funny is that upon comparing the two's perspectives, not only are Grian and Scar eating the same foodstuff to heal up, but they put it in the same inventory slot as well.
• At one point, Grian replies to Joel that he hasn't found his soulmate yet, and says, "Whoever I'm with is desperately trying to get me killed." It is at this moment Scar pops into view. The comedy really writes itself at this point.
• Just after the above moment, Grian's reaction to realizing he's linked with Scar. Bonus points in that Scar was within earshot of that, had Grian following him around practically all episode since that moment, and was still completely unwary of this until the end of Day 1 — and even then, only because Grian told him to his face, and that alone took him two times since Scar got distracted by the Jellie pandas.
• About halfway through Day 1, Cleo and Scott meet up with Grian and Scar at night. Scott punches Scar due to a trivial discussion, sees Grian take damage, looks over Scar's shoulder directly at Grian, and blows his goat horn in sympathy. This is coupled with Grian looking back at Scott directly, with these words of absolute mortification popping up on the screen:
  *he knows*
• Jimmy shows up on the Divorcees' porch to ask for supplies. In turn, Cleo shows No Sympathy.
  Jimmy: I'm poor!
  Cleo: So are we, get over it.

Day 2

• While Grian is tunnelling himself out of the cave, Martyn is relieved that he is not alone stuck in the cave before he accidentally scares Grian. The scream from Grian was so loud, it accidentally scares Martyn as well!
  Grian: I have been digging... FOR THIRTY MINUTES!

Day 3

• After Grian attempts to create a sugarcane monopoly on the server in Day 3, about half the server shows up to tunnel under his base to hunt for it... and when Joel tunnels into Grian's underground sugarcane farm, he and Etho harvest and make off with a good chunk of the current crop while Grian futilely tries to shout he would sell them some sugarcane instead.
• Tango tries to get revenge on Grian and Scar by ferrying a Warden up into their base, but it ends up escaping, sending the entire server into chaos for a bit before they manage to strand it in a ravine. Here is a compilation of everyone's reactions, set to "Yakety Sax" for good measure.

Day 4

• After Joel and Martyn kill the "Ranchers' Revenge" Warden with fishing rods, Grian makes an Accidental Pun and later decides to incorporate it into his subtitles.
  Grian: We are of-fish-ially the best Minecrafters ever.
• Following a moment of Stunned Silence after Grian accidentally kills Joel and Etho with a fishing rod, in a moment of Black Comedy, Bdubs yells for everyone to scramble and look for valuables from their scattered inventories.

Day 5

• While Scar's second death isn't exactly pretty, it's funny when all things considered, he was inviting others to Jimmy and Tango's funeral just before he went kaboom, and it was that verbal invitation that triggered the TNT trap. In other words, when he said "I'm here to invite you all to a funeral...", he unintentionally meant his own.
• Grian kills Rendog with a falling stalactite. His insane reaction of his achievement:
  Grian: (screaming) THAT'S THE BEST THING I'VE EVER DONE!! ...except maybe getting married.

Day 6

• Grian adopts a horse which looks perfectly normal to him... except the horse is glitched to look like a foal from Impulse's perspective, hence the image of Grian riding a baby horse around all day.

Season 4: Limited Life

Day 1

• Six minutes in, and Grian is already asking the important questions:
  Grian: (in the in-game chat) anyone want to do a wager on if tim will die first or na??
• While the fact that it happened at all is horrifying, there's something darkly hilarious about Skizzleman dying twice in the span of about five minutes to two different Boogeymen.
  • It takes Big B almost a full minute to realize Skizz's first death happened at all, due to him being distracted by mining and resource-gathering.
  • During the second kill, Cleo is busy trying to prove that Scar was the Boogeyman, and somehow fails to notice that Bdubs is killing Skizzleman right next to her until Bdubs has not only finished the murder but has been crowing about it for several seconds.
• While he admits to feeling bad for doing so, Grian decides to eat chicken while herding a flock of chickens into a secluded pen.
  Grian: You saw nothing.
• Halfway through Day 1, the Bad Boys stumble across Etho rowing a boat with a cow in it near the shore. Naturally, this is followed by the cow getting shot on the spot.
  Joel: I can't believe you replaced me with a cow, Etho!
• Scar commenting on the term 'cottagecore'. Note that he's doing this in the middle of a sales pitch to Jimmy.
  Scar: Some people use [moss] for their builds these days, and they call it "cottagecore" — I don't know what 'core' means. People put it in front of things, and say 'core' this, 'core' that — I'm confused.
• The fact that Scott and Jimmy are, for a brief period of time, too busy reminiscing to notice the Mansion under them going up in flames and being burnt to the ground.
  • From the perspective of Entertainment Mountain and the visiting Nosy Neighbors, the ensuing fire fight consists of the Bad Boys and the Mean Gills (then called the Coral Kids) running around like half a dozen headless chickens, as the fire is spreading faster than they can even put it out.
    Bdubs: They're just [...] giving oxygen to it.

Day 2

• The Bad Boys realize very quickly that their reset Woodland Mansion base is incredibly dangerous to live on, dying in rapid succession while trying to take on their Illager housemates.
• The Bad Boys' plan to get Joel a Boogeyman kill is to extend their wheat farm to Entertainment Mountain and send a TNT minecart along it to detonate Cleo in revenge for burning their base down. Their ruse hinges on them pretending to be very into making bread. Cue the Bread Bridge.
  Grian: Out of all of the bases that I've made in this series, this is the dumbest.
  Joel: And the ugliest.
  Grian: And the ugliest! [...] Welcome to Bread Bridge.

  The funniest part? It works.

• During a trade negotiation, Pearl asks Martyn for Tilly back from last season. Martyn responds by handing her some gunpowder, claiming them to be Tilly's ashes after he cremated her.
• Martyn's Hurricane of Punny Names for his faction, later followed by Grian bringing back a joke from Day 1 after he leaves:
  Grian: Can you believe that there's only nine months 'til Christmas?
  Jimmy: Stop that, what– (is interrupted)
  Grian: Feliz Navidad, boys.
  (Cue cackling on Grian's part and lame pun reactions on the other Bad Boys' part)
  Grian: (in private) I've been holding on to that one for so long.
• By Day 2, Scar is walking around with his "scitties" out again. Cleo is evidently exasperated by this.
• After being Boogeyman-killed by Joel, Cleo sets the Bad Boy Manor on fire. Again.
  Cleo: (nonchalantly) I've already just set the Mansion on fire, so... maybe you should go deal with that.
  Joel: Oh, for goodness' sake, Cleo!

Day 3

• Scar tricking Skizz into being his getaway man after stealing from the Coral Isles' sugar-cane farm early in the session.
• When Cleo announces to the rest of the Clockers that she plans to go feral, Scar "fears" for her safety because if she dies, he and Bdubs would "starve". Cleo replies that she would have a dispenser system set up... then Scar argues that the dispenser might run out of food, to which Cleo half-jokingly says that the two could eat the dogs to survive.
• Martyn visits Jimmy to tell him several more punny, bread-related nicknames he made up for the Bad Boys. Jimmy takes them quite well... until Martyn calls them the "Ciabatta Children", at which point he starts attacking Martyn on the spot.
• Upon visiting Bad Boys Manor, Scar inexplicably starts baby-talking to a very much AFK Grian.^note He apologizes for it later in the day.
• When the Nosy Neighbours visit the Coral Isles on Day 3, Scott assigns Martyn the role of 'manager' and himself 'supervisor'... because then, Martyn would be the one to deal with all the complaints.
• The fact that Grian gets killed by a pufferfish of all things. In his defense, he is AFK for the duration of Day 3^note he was sick but didn't want to miss the session because it would throw his time off, but it's frankly ridiculous for anyone to die by a pufferfish in Minecraft.

Day 4

• The moment Joel receives 30 minutes of life-time back for bombing Tango to Yellow, Grian knocks him off from the Skynet, citing that he needs 30 minutes as well.^note Joel hits Soft Water, so he's fine.
• While the Green Life hunt is horrifying, it has its gems:
  • The fact that it overall takes 10 attempts for the server to successfully kill Impulse.
  • During the hunt for Scott, Grian and Etho sneak off to the Coral Isles to trap Scott's bed, believing that he'll respawn there once the rest of the Yellow alliance tracks him down and kills him. Just as they discuss this while setting up the trap, Scott shows up... with his life still intact. Everyone takes a moment to laugh about it before continuing with the murder attempts.
  • There's something oddly silly about Grian using the Marco Polo method through proximity chat to track down Tango underground. Better yet, Tango responds several times.
  • Naturally, once everything is said and done, the terrifying chase scenes are edited down into a compilation set to increasingly sped-up replays of "Yakety Sax". Remember, any chase scene can be instantly made funny by editing "Yakety Sax" over it.
• After the hour-long witch hunt is over and the damaged property can be repaired and replaced, there's a discussion on the Coral Isles which no one needs to hear:
  Scott: (looking through the chests) One little bed tucked away downstairs [in the underground base] would be a good idea, especially since no one really knows about our downstairs area.
  Martyn: I've already shown you my little downstairs area.
  Scott: And I appreciated it.
  Martyn: (laughter)
  Scott: It's not little.
  Martyn: True, although the name would suggest.
  Scott: (snicker) Yeah, Littlewood, Small Beans... we do have a lot of euphemism names on here, I'm realizing.
  Martyn: We're just all humble, that's all.
• The Clockers' "family trip" to collect Sculk sensors in the Deep Dark quickly devolves into a sitcom where Scar accidentally summons the Warden and accuses Bdubs of setting off the shriekers by farting, even though Scar himself was the one dropping torches near it.
• Pearl visits Entertainment Mountain in her 'Scarlet Pearl' attire with a Creeper in tow, claiming it to be her friend for the goofs and giggles. While it initially appears to be a rehash of Grian's Deadly Prank from 3rd Life, the Creeper explodes... killing Pearl herself.
• When Grian visits the T.I.E.S. base to continue the alliance to protect Skizz, he tells Skizz that the code for him to come to his aid is to key-smash into the in-game chat. Skizz interprets this as typing nonsense into the chat... and demonstrates by literally typing the word 'nonsense' in.
• Jimmy trying to kidnap and trap Big B in an obsidian box... and failing miserably. The reason all this is happening is... a custody battle. Over a frog.

Day 5

• All throughout the series thus far, the Clockers have turned the server population into the cast of a sitcom, with Cleo being a 'single mother', Etho being a Disappeared Dad who went to live with a band of boomers, the Nosy Neighbours being nosy neighbours... and come Day 5 and they're adding the Bad Boys to the family tree as the rowdy cousins they only see once a year. Also, when we said Etho's supposed to be the Disappeared Dad, he embodies the archetype in name only and can be seen hanging out near Entertainment Mountain just about every episode. Again, by Day 5, Cleo has had enough of this.
  Cleo: Look, if you're gonna be an absent father, could you be at least absent?
• After the Nosy Neighbours steal Scott's enchantment table, Big B demands for proof that it's really Scott's, to which he replies he has episode footage.
  Scott: You really said "pics or it didn't happen"? That's really the card you just tried to play, Big B?
• Etho, for some reason, decides to make a return to Entertainment Mountain (again)... and they decide to have an awkward family dinner together. In short, they are not beating the sitcom allegations.
• After the aforementioned awkward family dinner, for some inexplicable reason, Etho decides to take Bdubs and Scar out to play "catch"... with TNT minecarts. This is in the middle of what's essentially a supernaturally-induced Hunger Games. The Life series being the Life series, the results are predictable.

Day 6

• On Day 6, several of the creators couldn't make it to the recording session for various reasons and had to find emergency substitutes, with GeminiTay subbing in for Cleo and Lizzie for Pearl. This leads to... shenanigans.
  • Gem-as-Cleo repeatedly refers to Scar as her favourite son, often to Bdubs' face. He is quickly fed up about this.
  • Since Lizzie isn't caught up about the Nosy Neighbours' plotline, she's completely unaware of who Judge Judy And Executioner is and the existence of Pearl's Pit Trap... which results in Jimmy interrogating her over the frog while both are standing on the trap... which Grian triggers because he's Grian, killing them both.
  • While everyone else goes along with it, Joel is the only one to repeatedly refer to Lizzie-as-Pearl as "Lizzie". Martyn's explanation for this veers straight into Heartwarming territory.
  • When Etho tries to take everyone on a family outing, Gem-as-Cleo tells him to go away, saying that as an absent father, he's not being very absent.
    Cleo: (as an editor's note) I love Gem :D
• After accidentally killing Jimmy with his penchant for pressing random buttons, Grian is tasked with activating an Ender pearl stasis chamber while Jimmy and Joel go out killing to get Jimmy some life-time back. During the second excursion, Grian gets so bored waiting that he starts playing Pokémon on his Gameboy Advance to pass the time.
• At one point, the Bad Boys leap off from Bread Bridge 2.0 onto the flooded Mansion roof. Just as Joel warns everyone not to hit his submarine, he overshoots and splatters into a pile of dust on the forest floor.
• The Bad Boys attempt to bomb Martyn's birthday party with a barrage of TNT minecarts, only for all of them to either miss or land on the half-built hourglass the party is held under, which shields the guests from most of the blast.
  Gem-as-Cleo: Joel, you're bad.
  Joel: (under his breath) Oh, dear...
  Scott: Bad Joel.
  Joel: I'm not bad!
  Gem-as-Cleo: You are bad.
  Scott: You're not good-bad, you're bad at being bad.
  Gem-as-Cleo: It's 'L-ishbeans'.
  Tango: Get gooder at being bad.
• When the T.I.E.S. visit Entertainment Mountain, they find a flock of chickens roaming at its base, hatched from Tango and Impulse's redstone clock egg dispenser-cannon they set up on Skynet earlier. In response, Impulse plays the infamous Vine, "Look at all those chickens."
• After the fiasco that was Day 3, Jimmy also gets a death-by-Pufferfish, this time courtesy of a trap that Scott set up for the Nosy Neighbours. From Big B and Lizzie-as-Pearl's perspectives, one moment he's walking through the opening in their wall, the next moment, he's poofed into a cloud of dust.
• The fact that Grian promises Joel not to end the session for Day 6 until they kill Scott, who is once again one of the last two people on a higher colour grading (Yellow this time).^note Alongside Impulse. And they still fail to kill him by the time the session ends.

While ambushing Scott on Entertainment Mountain, Joel screams that he has "the right to remain silent" and "the right to remain... stupid!"

Day 7

• Day 7 kicks off with deadly mishaps with the Bad Boys as Joel and Grian fall off a ladder and die. The latter twice. Within the span of about two minutes.
  InTheLittleWood: bad boys? more like splat boys

  Jimmy refuses to believe that they actually died, claiming they used commands to fake it. Despite being below both of them, and thus able to see what was happening, and neither of them having access to commands. His level of denial is funny and baffling in equal measure.

• Bdubs summarizes what happened in the previous session for Cleo, who's recovered from her "amnesia-cold".
  Cleo: So, what happened with my amnesia-cold during that time?
  Bdubs: Dur– When you were sick with your amnesia-cold, you killed Etho like, thirty times. (corpses)
  Cleo: Yeah, I heard about that! (laughs)
  Bdubs: And Scar... Scar ran Etho through the washing machine and– uh, hung him upside down and shook all the money out of his pockets, and– uh, that was basically it.
• This exchange in the in-game chat:
  GoodTimeWithScar: You have a bad shoot
  Tango: WarmGuy
  Etho: you are bad word
• In the midst of the chaos and deaths, Scar finds the time to continuously call the T.I.E.S. "nerds" and faux-imitates them shouting trap strategies and battle tactics whenever they're in sight in the first half of the day.
• When the Bad Boys were away, Martyn traps the Soft Water flooding the Woodland Mansion, sticking blue stained glass panes on the roof in the hope that someone falls on one and dies from fall damage. Sure enough and as planned, Joel lands on one such pane later in the episode and dies, outraged.
• While the fact that it happens at all is a massive Tear Jerker, Jimmy somehow does the Minecraft equivalent of tripping over his own shoelaces and falls off Skynet trying to murder someone with a TNT minecart. This is his final death of the season. It's very evident why the Tumblr side of the fandom calls him "a wet paper bag of a man".
  • And of course, several members of the server themselves have burst into fits of hysterical laughter over how the Canary curse remains unbroken after four whole seasons.
  • After Grian and Joel hold a small funeral for their departed friend, this conversation happens:
    Grian: He's a Bad Boy in the sky now.
    Joel: He's a Bad– well, put him in the sky, he'll probably fall out of it.
    Grian: (laughs) He's not a– he's a Bad Boy very flat on the floor!
• When Grian gets worried about Joel's reckless Roaring Rampage of Revenge, it's pretty telling that his instinct is to shout, "SCAR, NO!"

Day 8

• At the start of the session, after Martyn briefly teams up with the remainder of T.I.E.S. (or rather, T.I.E.), they hunt down Grian hiding out on top of the Nosy Neighbours' tower and Etho throws down a TNT minecart. Grian's resultant squawk is inexplicably bird-like; it's safe to say he's not beating the "Pesky Bird" allegations in the fandom.
• While battles are all the rage on Day 8, Scar tries to sell Martyn a nautilus shell in exchange for life-time. Martyn nonchalantly responds by spleefing him off of Skynet.
• Grian's final death is incredibly anticlimatic — by walking off of Skynet and plummeting onto Bread Bridge, just after declaring that he is on his final hour. His first reaction? "Don't tell Tim."
  • On the meta-side, Jimmy found out within the week. He calls it Laser-Guided Karma for laughing at his final death (mentioned above, which, to be fair, means it was quite funny too).
  • What makes Grian's death even worse for him is that he managed to land on a block that was surrounded by water. The slightest strafe could've saved him.
• Martyn's finale features all the other content creators involved counting down from 10 until Martyn's time runs out as victor. That's not funny. What is funny are the behind the scenes explanations:
  • Grian forgot to send in his countdown until the very last second and had to make the recording on his phone in a public cinema bathroom.
  • cc!Martyn organized it so that when the countdown reaches "six", Scott's voice is loudest. This is because Scott's accent causes the short 'e' and 'i' vowels to sound very similar. You know exactly where this is going.

Season 5: Secret Life

Day 1

• Before the series even officially kicks off, Grian's introduction already has this gem:
  (The demonstration shows Martyn on Green, Cleo on Yellow, and Gem on Red)
  Grian: Your name is green when you have three [lives], yellow on two, and you turn Red and hostile on your last life.
  (Gem punches Cleo)
• The cited reason for Gem joining the series:
  Grian: Gem has joined us for this series.
  Gem: Hello!
  Grian: She kinda didn't leave the Discord and no one wanted to say anything.
  Gem: You can't get rid of me.
• Jimmy suggesting that everyone should haze Gem and punch her once for being new to the series. This is immediately followed by Martyn punching Jimmy in the shoulder, causing him to lose half a heart of health. Once again, this is before the series has even officially started yet, and people are already getting hurt.
• Scott spots Jimmy and Scar, two of the biggest death magnets on the server, talking to each other. He immediately moves to break them up.
  Scott: I'm– I'm sorry, I need to interrupt this canon event because you two together would be out of the series quicker than we have time for.
• Mumbo's secret task in the first episode is to make at least 3 puns in a 5-minute conversation, which he dreads as a self-proclaimed "not a pun person". Then he meets Grian and the two almost immediately fire one bad pun after another.
  • Even better — Grian's task was to make 3 bad jokes and get no laughs.
• Tango's first assigned task is to get Scar to talk about Star Wars for over 60 seconds. He goes on for 30 minutes.
• Scott's first task is to build a base obnoxiously attached to someone else's. He tries to build his house right next to Gem's... but Gem notices how close they are and keeps moving her house outline over, forcing Scott to keep expanding his.

Day 2

• Joel's assigned task is, of all things, to start a cult, as if he hasn't already done so before.
• Lizzie mistakes her composter's redstone ticks for someone digging under her house and goes on a wild goose chase to find who's tunneling under her base. Pearl shouldn't even need to send Lizzie on a wild goose chase when she's already done it to herself.
  • Or so it seems, as it was actually Grian tunneling away after moving her door (which was part of his task). The composter inadvertently confused Lizzie and the viewers into ignoring Grian's tunneling. Grian was saved by a composter.
• Jimmy's second assigned task is to get someone to tell him to "Get Out!", so he builds himself into a corner of Pearl's base to be The Thing That Would Not Leave. This goes hilariously wrong.
  • Mumbo and Impulse are quickly intrigued by this and start expanding Jimmy's corner and adding trapdoors, so that they can goof off, lay down, and join in on the shenanigans as well. Pearl eventually gives in and adds her own trapdoor.
  • Impulse then invites everyone to live in Pearl's house with them, saying Pearl herself said they could. She did not, but doesn't object to this because she wants to see what happens from this point onward.
  • When Grian finally walks in, everyone present starts singing him the birthday song. Grian's birthday is in August; the episode was filmed and released in October.
  • By this point, nearly the entire server has invited over to move in and bunk together. Bear in mind that this whole impromptu slumber party wasn't directly prompted by any secret task.
    Scott: I like the fact that this was no one's task, and because there's no Boogeyman, nobody was scared of someone dropping a TNT block.
  • At the same time, while everyone else is having a grand ol' time, Martyn is quite literally going through Hell.
• Lizzie comments on the building style of Big B's bare-bones Backrooms-style underground base.
  Lizzie: (laughing) I haven't seen anything like this since 2011!

Day 3

• Day 3 kicks off with several of the players wearing unorthodox skins for the session.
  • Joel has changed to wearing a cream Life series merch hoodie.^note He couldn't earlier as Days 1 and 2 were filmed back-to-back because TwitchCon Las Vegas was held on the day Day 2 was supposed to be filmed.
  • Martyn briefly spends the start of the session wearing his skin from the Pirates SMP, as there was a lore stream for the series just before the Secret Life recording session... which had to be cut short so cc!Martyn could make it to this recording session in time.
• At the start of the session, Joel tries to come up with a chant for the Mounders at Mumbo's request. It doesn't go as expected.
  Joel: We are the Mounders, we are all rounders, we like to go down– no.
• When Mumbo asks Grian whether he can reroll for a harder task after failing his initial task, Grian informs him quite firmly that he cannot. By pure coincidence, he utters this ruling at the exact moment Gem opens the End portal for the first time. The resulting booming sound effect makes Grian's proclaimation a lot more dramatic than it would have been otherwise.
  Grian: I lay down the RULES in this game!
• After an interesting question at the end of Day 3, Jimmy and Martyn both affirm that they are not part of the Furry Fandom… and five seconds later, they mention how fursuits are expensive. Why and how they know that is not disclosed in the recording.

Day 4

• By Day 4 of the series, some of the tasks have become... interesting.
  • Cleo's task for the session is hilariously easy — she has to convince another player to read her secret task. She gets five people to do it before handing it in, less than 10 minutes into her episode.
  • Mumbo's assigned task is to avoid all one-on-one conversations... which he calls accurate to real life.
  • Scar describing his task of opposing all instructions as "the dyslexia task".
• Mumbo asks Grian about his favourite Welsh town. Grian's answer is both predictable and requires googling.
• Scar accidentally crafts a diamond helmet for his full set of gear... and when others tell him to stop wearing the helmet as it's against server rules, he is forced to keep it on by the requirements of his secret task. Cue the Benny Hill music again.
• While making a path near the Heart Foundation for her secret task, Lizzie stumbles across Jimmy and Skizz hanging out, with the latter crouching very close next to the former. Unfortunately for Lizzie, it appears they're in a highly compromising position from her perspective, to her mortification. Jimmy's response in her YouTube comments section doesn't help matters at all.
  Solidarity: you caught me and skizz at the wrong time..
• As Lizzie's completing her secret task of connecting the server with paths, Scott suddenly shows up to help her out of nowhere, which Lizzie shrugs off… until it's revealed that Scott's secret task is to figure out someone's task and help them complete it. The funny thing is that this isn't the first time something like this has happened with the two of them before — except "Deal with Destiny" didn't end with either side finding this out.
  Lizzie: Here I was, thinking I was tricking you, but this whole time, you've been tricking me!
• Lizzie and Scott, along with the Big Dogs, decide at the end of the episode to try to Kill Steal the Ender Dragon, and independently meet up at the Stronghold to storm the End dimension. Upon entry, Martyn just walks off the edge of the entry platform into the Void. To rub salt in the wound, Lizzie gets a front-row seat of this happening, and it's hysterical.

Day 5

• As of Day 5, the server is still in chaos, but this time, it's starting to… toe the line.
  • Scar accidentally hops off of his camel with Pearl while being chased by a baby zombie. When he gets back on the camel, he comments on always getting "humped off" of it, while Cleo, Gem, and Pearl comment on how he did not have to word it like that.
  • After an impromptu wall height contest, Gem and Mumbo decide to have a tower-off to see who can build a taller one, with the latter also dragging Pearl into the mess. It's somehow worse than it sounds.
    • First off, both sides decide to start the bases of their towers on Y-level 69.
    • Second, the two Mounders are forced to add to their tower after realizing their initial tower looks… suspiciously phallic.
• In an attempt to force the entire server to sleep through the night (for task reasons), Lizzie tries to invite the entire server to a slumber birthday party at her place. As she hurriedly tells the Big Dogs faction to effectively "be there or be square", Jimmy points out that given this is Minecraft, they're already square.
• While exchanging yet another Hurricane of Puns about them being "Mounders for life" with Pearl, Joel says, "I'm just trying to think of one, let me just ponder," only for him to mispronounce 'ponder' as "pounder" (approximate homophone of "pound her"), immediately realize his mistake, and leave.

Day 6

• Scar's assigned secret task requires him to play a Game of Chicken against Impulse and Bdubs… where Scar starts out the session not knowing what a game of chicken even is.
  Scar: Okay, I'm a little confused… Um, "win three chicken competitions"… I mean… how do we make chicken games? I don't know, does everybody stand here and throw chicken eggs until you get one, or you chase the chicken? Huh, let me look at this again; I'm gonna have to figure that out. "Anyone can declare a round of chicken as long as it's something that will cause damage." So we're trying to kill the chickens?
• Cleo's task is special in that just about everyone except her knows what it is, and she can only ask if she's hot or cold to figure it out. In the spirit of trying things out, she at first tries to punch, then furiously compliment Scott.
  Cleo: Can I tell you that you are the best person on this server? You are like the most wonderful and gorgeous person that is currently on this server.
  Scott: It isn't hot at all, but you can keep going.
• At the start of the session, Impulse proposes an alliance loyalty pact for Gem and the Scotts to always have each other's backs, no matter what. Gem is Genre Savvy about it.
  Gem: God, that sounds like a recipe for angst. Yeah, I'm in.
• Ren-as-Tango repeatedly promising the Hermits Decked Out shards (i.e. entry tickets) in exchange for various favours. As one commenter on Tango's episode puts it:
  levchenkodarya: Tango sitting there, editing the episode and watching Rengo promising shards, feeling like when you lose your credit card and then start to receive purchases notifications
• As part of her secret task, Pearl has to set Etho on fire on Lizzie's behalf. From Etho and Grian's perspectives, Pearl suddenly appears at their base, sets Etho ablaze with zero context, and runs. They are far more confused than terrified.
• Grian decides to name the Warden Etho has to summon for their collaborative secret task "Etho's Dishwasher", which would mean that later in the session, a few players would be end up getting killed by Etho's Dishwasher.
• The Warden vs. Wither fight is packed full of hilarity:
  • Grian and Etho decide to play it casual as they're leading the Warden to the central area. Nearly everyone else has an Oh, Crap! moment when they realize what's coming.
  • Scar aggros the Wither right after it is spawned. It responds by chasing him in circles for several minutes, raining destruction right behind him. Depending on whose point of view you're watching, he can be seen repeatedly entering and exiting the view.
  • Back at the end of Day 5, Mumbo placed down some fence posts to block Martyn's path as he was one of the only Red Lives at the time, to much hilarity when he succeeded for a moment. When trying to flee the Warden this episode, he accidentally catches on the posts, permanently dying while unable to flee in time.
  • Grian presses the button to complete his task, but he dies to a Wither skull before the reward sequence could finish. This programming oversight breaks Grian's game, forcing him to relog. Not only that, he's respawned with twenty hearts instead of thirty, and he didn't receive the overflow items that would normally be granted.
  • After the battle is over, Etho asks a final, crucial question:
    Etho: Did that make you jump?

Day 7

• Near the start of the episode, long before everything hits the fan, Martyn tries to steal the Heart Foundation's bed, while being chased away by the alliance on account of already having blood on his hands from killing Scott (albeit at his own request, though no one else knew that) just before that. However, Big B then says that there's an infestation of bed bugs… causing Martyn to drop the bed and run.
• After killing Scar, the Infected attempt to explain the task to him. However, he is too distracted with his own task of becoming hated and doesn't notice; when given the Infected's task book, he tosses it in the fire without reading it, thinking he's just made someone's task non-completable.
• It takes a surprisingly long time for the Infected to take Joel down, given he just won't stop setting down 64 Zombie spawn eggs as he runs to make this a real Zombie Apocalypse. At one point, even Gem admits she's considering rooting for Joel for his sheer tenacity.
• After the Infected successfully take Joel down and recruit him, Joel denies his involvement in the horde of Zombies (as in the mobs) roaming the server.
• In the end, one of the only survivors of the zombie apocalypse is the player literally named ZombieCleo. The irony of it gets commented upon several times.

Day 8

• Grian's task is to do everything Jimmy, talking to him via Discord, tells him to do. Jimmy spends most of the session making Grian do weird and/or embarrassing things, such as introducing himself with "It's-a-me, Grian!" or randomly asking Cleo and Etho to do "the Zombie Dance" or breaking all the bookshelves in the enchanting room and then asking Etho what happened to them. While funny by itself, the kicker here is that, throughout the entire session, not a single person calls Grian out on his strange behavior. Not only that, but as many YouTube comments point out, all of the strange and wacky behavior Grian gets up to at Jimmy's behest is completely in-character for him, to the point that many people who watched other people's POV first did not notice a difference between Grian's behavior on Day 8 and his regular behavior.
• Taking it upon himself to steal bones and arrows from the Mounders' Skeleton spawner, Scott goes on an invisible stealth mission at the Mounders' base… only to get caught by Pearl almost instantly via the potion particle effects. Cue a narrow cat-and-mouse chase where Pearl loses track of her ex-soulmate at one point and comments people are going to think she's delusional… while Scott is crouching around the side of a nearby wall watching her.
• Upon being prodded, Joel denies having ever been anything but "nice" to Scott throughout the Life series… and is Instantly Proven Wrong in Scott's episode via a short montage of some very repeated targeting on Joel's part throughout multiple seasons.
• As the Roomies watch Joel build a TNT cannon aimed at their base and try to shoot it, Grian suggests that they sing "Baby Shark" at him to taunt him; Etho ends up making up a song on the spot to make fun of him until he can make the cannon function properly.

Real Life

• Scott's episode opens with him wearing a VR headset in real life, waving his arms around for no apparent reason.
  Scott: Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.
• Given the premise and the series title, the first thing Martyn does is to demand taxes from more than half the server.
• Due to the VR premise, some people look smaller than usual because they're sitting down. Big B's avatar, however, is rather… big.
• Several people spend their time in VR dancing to silly songs like the "Hokey Pokey" song and "Macarena", both in real life and in-game.
• The first thing Jimmy does in the series is to punch an iron golem.
• This exchange between Scar and Grian:
  Scar: Is this what a meter is in real life?
  Grian: You know what a metre looks like in real life!
  Scar: I'm American!
• After Big B and Martyn get trapped in a deep surface cave with no blocks to help them climb out, Jimmy peers down to greet them, only to be spleefed by Scott from behind and fall to his death.
  • Scott can only justify it by claiming he didn't know the block Jimmy was standing on had no blocks underneath it.
  • Grian and Scar notice the message in the in-game chat, which is immediately followed by them hearing Jimmy complaining in the distance as he respawns.
• Grian getting so distracted by strategizing how to win the season that he almost mines a block of iron ore with a wooden pickaxe.
• Grian's first death is to being shot by a Skeleton while gathering iron. He and Jimmy proceed to both lose their second lives in quick succession trying to regather the inventory/ies scattered from the deaths, which suggests three lives were lost to a single Skeleton in just a few minutes. The end result is Grian strongarming Jimmy to never go back and settle in the nearest Villager house.
• Joel apologizing for the lack of face-cam footage because he spent a majority of the recording facing the wall, with his back to the camera.
• Jimmy and Grian, now the only two Red Lives on the server, invite everyone to join their club if they want to. Scar, on Yellow, enthusiastically declares that he wants to join. What makes this funny is that he somehow didn't pick up on the true nature of the club despite watching two other people being murdered in front of him by the Reds in the name of "joining the club".
• Grian declaring that Jimmy is allowed to win these season out of their Red Lives club because it's April Fools' Day. Funnier yet, Jimmy doesn't even win the season, and Grian is the first permadeath.
• The Red Lives Club decided to dive into a nearby lake to hunt for fish, since they were running out of food. They got quite a few fish... but swimming made them all so ridiculously motion-sick that they collectively decided to never touch water again.
• In response to Pearl commenting that caves look cool in VR:
  Cleo: It does look pretty badass.
  Pearl: Did you just say 'donkey', I know you said–
  Cleo: I did– I definitely said 'donkey'. Looks like a bad, naughty donkey.
• For darker laughs, the reason Scar ends up dying early in the series is because he fell out of his wheelchair in real life when he was attacked.
• Shortly before the final battle, Martyn is stuck on the opposite side of a river to Jimmy, Big B, and Scott, where he can hear Scott but not Jimmy or Big B. Jimmy tries to pass on the message for Martyn to join them to kill the extended Three Gs alliance. Scott instead passes on the message that Jimmy's headset is about to die and to kill him instead.
• Having lasted this long, Jimmy's final death comes anticlimatically when he accidentally jumps off a cliff in the middle of a fight, screaming at the top of his lungs.
• As Gem comments that she doesn't have a battery pack for her headset, Cleo and Scott immediately joke about waiting it out for her headset to die.
• The final fight comes between Scott and Cleo, and in a dramatic case of Mood Whiplash, the former is killed off by a random zombie.

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