Funny / John Cena

"And THIS is the Champ's entertainment! Word Motherfreakin' Life!"

Sure, some people may say Cena can't Wrestle... But he can damn well entertain.

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• In a 2005 feud with Kurt Angle, he tries to poll the backstage area to see if Kurt Angle sucks:
  • First he ends up in the ladies' locker room. Right before he's thrown out, Candice Michelle stands in front of Cena and drops her towel (her back, unfortunately, to the audience). After he's thrown out, he genuflects briefly at his bad luck.
    Candice Michelle: John, I know you think that Kurt Angle sucks, but... (drops her towel) ...do you think I do?
    Cena: Is there any way I can make that happen...
  • Next, he ends up in the men's locker room, where Gene Snitsky is giving Tyson Tomko a massage.
    Cena: I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
  • Then, he sees The Boogeyman in an odd closet. He just sings "My Fair Lady", and smashes his own face with his clock. Cena's face is a wonder to behold, wide-eyed at first before going "what the..." then looking back inside.
    Cena: Okay, maybe the WWE Superstar thing was a right turn down Bad Idea Street...
  • Finally, Cena went out to the audience, where several audience members say Angle sucks.
• Really, his entire time doing "Five Questions with the Champ/ with John Cena" was full of this. He might be a Large Ham now, but believe me, age has mellowed him.
• John Cena and Fruity Pebbles. That is all. Thanks, Rocky!
  • Not quite Ascended Meme territory but now he's appeared on a box of the cereal.
    • Now, he's replaced Fred on the cover.
    • Now he has his own commercial.
• "...BALONEY, FUDGE, AND MUSTARD! My life is being ruined by the Internet! ...I haven't flipped out this bad since my mom canceled my subscription to Warcraft!!"
• This whole video. Especially the bit about Umaga.
  • "I will hit the ring with the strength of a thousand men, lightning will shoot FROM MY ASS!...
  • Another gem from that video; "My name is Armando...Alejandroooo-OH, MY GOD, WILL YOU JUST PARK YOUR ASS AND SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE!"
• Even if it's just coincidence (which is doubtful), Cena's fake whining having more than a passing resemblance to a similar scene from My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic is hilarious.
• How does Cena beat Batista in their Last Man Standing match at Extreme Rules? By using duct tape to tape his ankles behind a ring post, leaving him unable to get back up on his feet to stop the 10-count, thus giving him a humiliating defeat.
• John Cena is not the only one who won a— "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
  • "It's a Running Gag!"
    • Vickie could barely keep herself from smiling.
    • She did. Twice. Dolph needed to remind her she was supposed to be angry both times and had to cover her ears after the second time to keep her in-character.
  • And then in this particular promo, Cena and Jerry Lawler start Volleying Insults about Vickie's weight.
• Cena was a guest referee for a match between what was supposed to be a 4-on-4 tag team match between CM Punk's Nexus and Barrett's new team, "the Corre", with the stipulation that the losing team would not participate in the Royal Rumble. Cena then proceeds to throw both teams out of the match leaving just Punk and Barrett, attack both of them before the match starts (knowing they can't retaliate or else they're DQ'ed), throws Punk out of the ring, leaves the ring to sign autographs while Barrett covers Punk, and finally disqualifies both competitors while they're on the canvas... for using excessive profanity.
  • As he’s leaving for the back, he mutters to himself, “What I did was genius!”
• Cena being a little too excited to be teaming with Trish Stratus on RAW, as he wrestled with a visible boner for much of the match. You can hear Cole and King audibly stifle their laughter as they try to call the match.
• His "The Reason You Suck" Speech to John Laurinaitis was hilarious. Even Michael Cole, one of Laurinaitis' very few supporters (though Laurinaitis had even managed to turn Cole against him somewhat by then) admitted it was Actually Pretty Funny.
  • Laurinaitis could barely keep his frown up.
• When Eve came out to introduce John Laurinaitis after Over the Limit, Cena told her, "Wow, John Laurinaitis, you got really hot, but you still suck!"
  • He did something similar to Melina concerning Umaga.
  John Cena: Umaga, you look very, very different.
• The ENTIRE John Cena vs. Michael Cole. What Cole learned, is to not mock someone, who's going to stipulate a match with ANYONE.
• Making his conflict with John Laurinaitis and The Big Show sound like a WWE/Star Wars crossover Fan Fic. Even he had trouble not laughing while doing it. It wouldn't be surprising of half of what he said become memes in short order.
  John Cena: "The reason for an announcement so big, is that because over the past month, the WWE has been turned upside down. It's been like a... like a, like a rotten episode of Star Wars. *beat* Allow me to enlighten you: A short time ago, in a WWE universe not so far away, the evil emperor John Laurinaitis convinced the world's largest Jedi to join the dark side and become Show Vader. Show Vader then channeled his new-found anger to wage war against the younger, more handsome Jedi John Cenawalker. The two did battle in an epic fight so big, it had to be contained in a 15-foot-high Death Star. With the evil emperor sitting ringside, but not to be outdone and to make sure the match was fair, the old, decrepit, dust-covered Jedi Yoda McMahon sat next to him. The entire galaxy was involved: Jabba the Funkasaurus, Han Soul-bro, Bro-bacca the woo-woo-wookiee. Hell, even R2-A-ri and Santin-3PO were there. The battle was so vicious, that Show Vader had Cenawalker in a corner, and breathing heavy as he most often does, said *wooosh* *wooosh* 'I am your father!'. And to be quite honest, that totally weirded me out, because I know my dad and my dad's not Show. So I climbed out of the Death Star as quick as I could, using a maneuver that was easier than bagging womp rats back in Beggar's Canyon, and when I hit the floor, the ancient, old Jedi Yoda McMahon leaped out of his chair and said to the face of the evil emperor, 'No chance in Hell have you.' *beat* 'Fired you are!' and left the evil emperor John Laurinaitis to perish: "Oh, I'm John Laurinaitis, and I'm about to perish."
• Chris Benoit locks Paul Heyman in the Sharpshooter while Cena makes Paul E. eat soap. See it here. John was having a lot of fun telling Benoit when to apply pressure with the submission and when to ease up so Heyman could do something other than scream and tap out.
  "Eff me? Eff moi? I believe that the correct verbage is F.U, Paul Heyman!" CHRIS!
• Maybe funnier for one that doesn't like Cena, but there was a slapstick-like moment of the borderline- Epic Fail variety in his most recent match against CM Punk. Cena sets up for his shoulder tackles - the first of his Five Moves of Doom. When he makes the return pass for the second, though, Punk hits the deck, causing Cena to come up empty and fly halfway across the ring before spilling out onto the floor.
• John Cena low blows CM Punk.
  • Probably made even funnier by his obvious "YOLO!" look toward the ref right before he does it.
• This moment. It starts off with Cena slamming Edge, then Cena has a spaz attack when doing the Five Knuckle Shuffle, then Big Show chokeslams Edge, then Edge gets gets pinned by four wrestlers. Everything about this is funny.
• This moment in 2011 Cena tells The Miz and R-Truth that his tag partner for Survivor Series is The Rock, And when he says that he spits on the mic.
• His angry face. Nuff' said.
• This 2003 Moment. Almost everything is funny. Cena stealing Eddie Guerrero's low rider sold the deal.
• Cena beating up people while rappin. Priceless.
• Raw on 4/8/13. Cena came to the ring after Beating The Rock for the WWE Championship at WrestleMania 29. And he basically messed with the crowd for the most part in this promo, But the funniest part was four minutes in the video Cena said he may do a Championship dance, And then he did a embarrassing shake, Then a kick, But the funniest part was that Cena teased a heel turn.... By doing a HEEL turn!
  • May have turned into Harsher in Hindsight for his fans because he came up with an injured Achilles about a week later.
• Cena trolling Team Rhodes scholars. Especially the part where Cena was leaning to Cody Rhodes' mustache.
  John Cena: An issue, That's totally growing out of proportions it's everywhere- Don't move pretend I'm not even here, I just wanna see it up close.
• Cena's entire Shout-Out to Punch-Out!! when Mike Tyson as the guest. Even Orton was Corpsing at that point.
• Pretty much every time John Cena was on screen in the Fred movies. They even fought Mr. Devlin and Kevin in front of a LIVE WWE crowd! ...But it was All Just a Dream. or was it!?
  Devlin: No human is a match for the strength of the Undead!
  John Cena: Except a WWE Superstar!
  Devlin: I was going to say that, If you let me finish that was gonna be the end of my sentence.
  John Cena: I'm sorry I cut you off.
  Devlin: You're what?
  John Cena: I-I'm sorry.
  Devlin: Well you don't sound like you mean it so, apology not accepted!
• This moment in 2007 When Cena was on Carlito's Cabana, He started interviewing himself under a new show called "Cena's Cabana".
  John Cena: Because that, My friend, Is cool!
• When Cena visited Manchester, England.
  John Cena: I am lord helmet!
• Cena Rock bottoming The Rock. Mainly his face after The Rock kicked out.
• Cena and Eddie Guerrero in Singapore.
  John Cena: To be honest with you I'm a little sexually confused.
• When Cena made a cameo on Hannah Montana and beats up Jackson Stewart to get him to read. But it was just a dream.
  John Cena: READING TAKES YOU TO NEW AND EXCITING PLACES!
• Cena pissing on a grave.
  John Cena: ...WORD LIFE!
• Cena showing what he thinks of being on commentary for a match in 2008.
  John Cena: Wow Steph, Thanks a lot. That'll be so exciting, Not only for myself WWE Superstar John Cena, but for all the WWE Universe watching.
• This moment between him, Triple H and Randy Orton.
  John Cena: THERE IS NO GOOD REASON ON THIS GREEN EARTH THAT THE TWO OF US SHOULD FIGHT THE THREE OF YOU, TONIGHT WE WOULD SIMPLY SELF DESTRUCT!
  John Cena: .....But, despite all that...
  John Cena and Triple H at the same time: WE ACCEPT!
• This moment in 2007 between him, Vince McMahon and Shawn Michaels.
  John Cena: Unless ECW stands for "Extremely Crazy White-Guy", all I'm seeing, is a stooge in a doo-rag.
• In this 2009 moment between Cena, Triple H and Shawn Michaels, They are looking for Hornswoggle, then he comes out decked out in John Cena gear.
  John Cena: See? Not wearing your stuff, head-to-toe, John CENA merchandise, you guys hang him on a hook, he just gets angry and more assertive, you gotta talk to him nice- hey look at this!
  John Cena: Hey watch this he learns too, show em' this is the thing- the thing! do the thing!
  *Hornswoggle does Cena's "You Can't See Me"*
  John Cena: And you know that's just like Survivor Series cause at Survivor Series you two...
  John Cena: (While him and Hornswoggle do the "You Can't See Me.") CAN'T SEE ME!
• In this 2009 moment between Cena, HHH, and Shawn Michaels, they talked about "Beating" eachother... in front of the Bella Twins.
  Cena: Well guess what I beat you [Triple H]! I beat you [Shawn]! We all beat each other! WE BEAT EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME!
  "Beat as it cuts to the Bellas having watched the conversation who smirk and walk off"
  Cena: THAT DIDN'T COME OUT RIGHT! *Throws Cap*
  Shawn: Way to go!
  • An extra level of hilarity comes into it nowadays since Cena was in a relationship with one of the twins.
  • Earlier:
  Cena: You can never hang a leprechaun on a hook, Shawny. My uncle hung a leprechaun on a hook...once...ONCE!//
• Cena's Money in the Bank win. It was just him and Big Show on the Ladder and Cena starting swinging the Briefcase at Show, only for the hook at legitimately snap, giving Cena the technical win. Cena, ever an entertainer, when with it and has this legit shocked face as he holds up the briefcase and also beating show down with it.
• Cena posted on Twitter of him dressed as Jabba.
• In 2004, Cena who wanted to get payback over Kurt Angle backstage, Angle pulled a You Wouldn't Hit a Guy with Glasses, (But in this case a wheelchair) and Cena's reaction?
  Kurt Angle: You wouldn't hit a man in a wheelchair!?
  "Beat"
  (Cena picks up Angle)
  John Cena: U NOT IN A WHEELCHAIR NOW!
  (After throwing Luther Reigns through a wall)
  John Cena: THIS IS MY HOUSE! NEXT TIME, WIPE YOUR FEET BEFORE YOU GET HERE!!!
• Cena in this Capri Sun commercial.
• All of Cena's interactions with the We Hate Cena Guy.
• The crowd chanting for "Randy Savage" and "We want divas!" during his match with Randy Orton and the 2014 Royal Rumble.
• 3/24/14: John Cena in the bathroom and in the mirror he see's Eric Rowan. When he looks back, Rowan's gone. Cena has a WTF Face.
  • The following week, as Bray is celebrating his win over R-Truth a strange figure appears dressed like Eric Rowan, sheep mask and all. It's Cena, but can you imagine Cena wearing that sheep mask over his face?
• 4/7/14: Cena enters and the crowd, more or less angry that he beat Bray the night before, decide to sing to his theme. What do they sing? "John Cena Sucks"....in time to his own theme song. This had happened before during a show at Peru but it was still mixed in with wild cheers and thus not as audible. This time it came out loud and clear.
  • And when 2015's Night After WrestleMania crowd started singing it again, Cena's acknowledgement made sure it would become as ubiquitous as chanting "YOU SUCK!" with Kurt Angle's music.
• 4/14/14: Cena coming out and showing three photoshopped picture's of Wyatt, Harper and Rowan and talking about how Wyatt is secretly a ladies man.
• Completely unintentional and an indirect example, but Cena told Nikki Bella in an episode of Total Divas that he could be on the road for at least another ten years, making him unsuitable as a husband and a father- much of WWE's fandom seems pretty alarmed by this...... until one realizes, upon actually reading or listening through most mentions of that segment, that it isn't the drama between Cena and Nikki which alarms them, it's the implication that they'll be seeing Cena for at least another ten years.
• 1/19/15: Seth Rollins screwed up his lines (saying "Tuck his [Cena's] legs... tail between his legs..."), and Cena responded with "I don't know how the hell I'm gonna tuck my legs between my legs."
• 4/20/15: Cena's been issuing a weekly open challenge for the US Title. (Yes, Cena has the US Title... it's a long story) This particular day, people have been telling Kane that he's basically over the hill and can't go anymore. Triple H even said he's a corporate guy and not "fire and brimstone" any longer. Seth Rollins has been getting on his nerves for the last several weeks, but Kane still has to try to keep his job despite all of this. Suffice it to say, Kane's in an even worse mood than usual. When Kane's music hits, Cena, if only for a moment, gets a look on his face that screams of mingled Oh, Crap!/You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!.
• This moment (note: it's French commentary) with Bobby Lashley, where Cena is asked if he thinks he can beat Lashley. Cena starts this with a narmy speech about how he thought he couldn't win, because Lashley speared him and it "hurt", and starts crying about how it's unfair because he never learned how to read. After that, he smiles at the camera and says "God bless America".
• On the 7/20/15 episode of Raw, in the main event 6-man tag team match between John Cena, Randy Orton and Cesaro VS Kevin Owens, Sheamus and Rusev, after Owens super kicked Rusev and bailed, Cena and Orton made the funniest faces ever.◊
• The Raw after Summerslam: He AA's Jon Stewart! The kicker, though, is Cena's totally flat, "This-Is-What-My-Life-Has-Become" expression◊ as he does it, and Ric Flair's (who was the reason Stewart interfered with Cena's match: to defend his 16-time record) reaction as he watches in the background: Shock, disbelief, and finally something that looks like admiration. After Cena leaves the ring, Flair proceeds to check Stewart's pulse.
  • It gets better. At the Emmy Awards, the "Outstanding Writing for a Variety Series" category tends to have a tradition of a funny video package usually accompanying the reading the nominations. For the final year the Jon Stewart hosted version of The Daily Show was nominated in this category, the video package that accompanies the reading of the show's writers consisted of the clip of Cena AA'ing Jon Stewart over and over.
• Cena wasn't at Fastlane 2016 because he was at Daytona Beach, FL, to drive the pace car for the other major sporting event that day, the Daytona 500 (he was originally planning to be the starter of the 2012 edition only for weather delays to chase him to Portland for a RAW commitment). Before getting in the car, he was standing in the crowd, and pit reporter Jamie Little completely ignores Cena, and her ponytail even gets in his face! "You Can't See Me", indeed. (The look on Cena's face while this happens is the icing on the cake.)
• Cena makes an unexpected yet awesome appearance at WrestleMania 32 to help the Rock clear the Wyatt Family out of the ring when they interrupt Rocky's promo...and that still isn't enough to prevent the record crowd from chanting "JOHN CENA SUCKS!" with his music.
• In one of his appearances on the Conan show, he actually taught the crowd how to sing "John Cena Sucks" along with his theme song.
• On the July 18, 2016 RAW, Cena meets with Enzo Amore and Cass, the two comparing them to the great trios of the world, listing them with "how you doing" after each one: Nirvana, TLC, Destiny's Child, Wu-Tang Clan. Cena interrupts with "how am I doing...I don't know how I'm doing! I don't even know what the hell is going on here!" He adds that "Wu-Tang Clan has got like 20 guys!"
  • When the New Day enter, they end up with a big "how you doing" bit with Enzo & Cass naming the various characters of Pokémon Go with Cena just standing there with an expression of "what the HELL is this?"
• When he teaches Brie Bella how to drive with a manual gearbox during the first episode of Total Bellas.
• For Halloween 2016, he dressed up like Nikki Bella. The Internet's immediate response? "YOU CAN'T UNSEE ME"
• Smackdown 1/17/17. The Miz and AJ Styles are confronting each other in the ring, and so John Cena starts egging them on, like he's the devil on each of their shoulders.
  Behind AJ Styles: Sounds to me like the Miz is saying he's way better than AJ Styles!
  Behind the Miz: OOOHHHH SNAP! Are you gonna let him talk to you like that? Talk about you and your wife like that? Step up, bro!
• His performance as play by play announcer Lance Catamaran in Southpaw Regional Wrestling.
• Some of the gold-mines from Cena's social media posts which demonstrates his self-awareness of the memes (especially the "You Can't See Me" memes):
  • Cena posted a pic of a Nintendo Switch that is floating in mid-air.
  • John gets confused with the FaceID feature of the IPhone X.
• Whenever John Cena appears in The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, something funny is bound to happen:
  • This True Confessions game featuring him and Kate McKinnon had this gem of a line during Cena's random fact confessions:
  (After Cena spoke his random fact confession)
  Fallon: "What was her name?"
  Cena: "My name is John Cena..."
  Fallon: "What was her name?"
  (Fallon and the audience laughs)
  Cena: "That is uh, that's enough questions out of you. I already told you my name."
  • This Mad Libs Theater session, featuring among other things: Perenium, protractor, Rob Roy, and even anus as Cena's word of choice.
  Fallon: "Another body part."
  Cena: "(laughs) Can I say anus?"
  Fallon: "NO! Yes you can, yes you can."
• Cena's next voice-acting gig has him playing a flower-loving bull from a book known as The Story of Ferdinand. I kid you not.
• When cutting a promo on Jinder Mahal, Cena demonstrates his newly found self-awareness, and attacks Jinder with the power of dank memes...
  Cena: It was nice to meet you. You can't see me. Hit the trumpets!
• During his Curb-Stomp Battle promo-off against fellow Base-Breaking Character Roman Reigns, Roman shot at Cena that the first reason crowds boo him is because "you suck", only for Cena to cut him off and sling his arm around the shoulders of RAW GM Kurt Angle, who's quietly Corpsing in the corner of the ring.
  Cena: Hey, uh, according to them so does he, but that's OK, he won a gold medal.
  • It didn't help matters that this quip was so funny that it completely threw Roman off his game and made him forget what his second reason people boo Cena is.
    Cena: ...go ahead, find it, go ahead. <Beat> I'll wait.
  • Even before Reigns got to continue his promo, Cena lectures him about doing a promo right, then, after having achieved self-awareness again, caps it off with this line:
    Cena: SEE YA, FOURTH WALL!
• Cena spent the Summer of 2018 hyping up the debut of his "Sixth Move of Doom" on Twitter. It turned out to be a punch to the face.
• Cena returning as the Doctor of Thuganomics during WrestleMania 35 to cut a promo on Elias. It must be seen to be believed, with Cena delivering one bombshell after another on Elias, all while brazenly ignoring kayfabe (such as one line making reference to, in his own words, "a John Cena heel turn").
• At the start of the 2019 Raw Reunion show, The Usos invited John Cena as a guest to "show off his rhymes", but Cena was not interested. It wasn't until they called Cena "the cat that left them for the movie biz" that he returned to the ring and gave the brothers this savage rhyme:
  Respect for calling me out
  But ain't no way I'm getting bested
  Y'all look just like your mugshots
  How was it getting arrested?
  • Jimmy would later be arrested (again) for DUI 2 days later, so Cena just foreshadowed Jimmy's arrest.
• There's the time his "cousin" Juan Cena showed up during an interview of Lucha House Party with him in front of the camera shouting "Si cabron. ¡Fiesta! Lucha, lucha, lucha..." with Lucha House Party wondering if that was Juanito before realizing that they can see him.