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Thuganomic Raps
"This is serious now. Kill the beat.
Yo, people think I'm crazy.
That's what everyone is telling me.
That me beating you
is like you winning a spelling bee.
That's okay because tonight
I silence them all.
You're a Neanderthal.
So I'll use words that are small.
"Big Brock Lesnar.
Here comes the pain!
God build me strong.
Forgot to give me brain."
You hop around all day
like there's potatoes in your crack.
That's a nice tattoo
of your mother on your back.
Yo. I'm untouchable
you can't beat my ability.
I'm like a basic match problem Brock.
You just can't finish me."
Yo, people think I'm crazy.
That's what everyone is telling me.
That me beating you
is like you winning a spelling bee.
That's okay because tonight
I silence them all.
You're a Neanderthal.
So I'll use words that are small.
"Big Brock Lesnar.
Here comes the pain!
God build me strong.
Forgot to give me brain."
You hop around all day
like there's potatoes in your crack.
That's a nice tattoo
of your mother on your back.
Yo. I'm untouchable
you can't beat my ability.
I'm like a basic match problem Brock.
You just can't finish me."
HBK, I'm scouting you heavy,
Because I know there's no one better.
But you're a little friendly,
Wearing chaps, chains, and leather?
And gold medal or not,
Kurt Angle's goin' south.
Forget your mouthpiece,
I put my piece in your mouth.
Big Show's a giant! He's enormous!
I can think of a million adjectives.
But it's another case of...
Big things with small packages.
And Carlito, you're ain't cool!
You're some chia pet putz.
And instead of spitting out apples,
You should be choking on these nuts.
Lita's a slut.
You all should run the other way when you see her.
I shook her hand last week,
And she gave me gonorrhea.
Hey, You! You claim your Money in the Bank.
Edge, "you think you know me?".
Well John Cena's like a pinwheel.
So you can go ahead and blow me.
You see the champ is here!
And I never back down! I never quit!
If I got to, I fight you all!
Cuz' I just don't give a SHIT!!
— Dissing Shawn Michaels, Kurt Angle, Big Show, Carlito Colón, Lita, and Edge at Carlito's Cabanna, Monday Night Raw, October 10, 2005
"Finally, The Rock came back
and everybody was gettin' with it.
'Till he said I was talking trash,
but he would never be specific.
It's because I wasn't talking trash, Rock,
I was talking truth.
You left us hanging high and dry
to play a fairy with a tooth?
And... and then you walk into this ring
and tell these people that I'm lame, man?
He wore lipstick in Get Shorty
and rocked a skirt for The Game Plan.
This "Fruity Pebble" that you dealin' with,
I'm not your average jabroni.
I'm like a big purple pinwheel, Rock,
so go ahead and blow me.
And you're electrifying, yes.
But hang with me, that's just absurd.
See, now you gotta tell your family
you just got schooled by Barney's turd.
Oh, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. That's your material,
you can have your joke back.
Just don't go racing to Witch Mountain, Rock,
'cause your mountain is Brokeback.
Oh, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, The Rock's new movie,
well it's nothing like "Walking Tall".
He spends the movie in a bowling alley,
polishing my balls.
The People's Champ? He's never with the people.
Rock, your words are see-through.
You imitate me every time you leave:
for seven years we couldn't see you.
And-and-and-and is it Rock or is it Dwayne?
Pick a side, come on, son.
If I was you, I'd stick with "Rock".
'Cause "Dwayne" ain't got a john, son.
And you'll see me at WrestleMania,
well, then I'll make sure not to miss it.
But you ain't gonna whip my candy ass, dude.
I'll make sure you kiss it.
You're the WrestleMania host, Rock.
That's your role, know it.
You tell these people that you love 'em.
I'm here every week to show it.
That's called a first round knockout,
and now you know that I'm not playin'.
Run your mouth all you want, dude,
it doesn't matter what you're sayin'."
and everybody was gettin' with it.
'Till he said I was talking trash,
but he would never be specific.
It's because I wasn't talking trash, Rock,
I was talking truth.
You left us hanging high and dry
to play a fairy with a tooth?
And... and then you walk into this ring
and tell these people that I'm lame, man?
He wore lipstick in Get Shorty
and rocked a skirt for The Game Plan.
This "Fruity Pebble" that you dealin' with,
I'm not your average jabroni.
I'm like a big purple pinwheel, Rock,
so go ahead and blow me.
And you're electrifying, yes.
But hang with me, that's just absurd.
See, now you gotta tell your family
you just got schooled by Barney's turd.
Oh, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. That's your material,
you can have your joke back.
Just don't go racing to Witch Mountain, Rock,
'cause your mountain is Brokeback.
Oh, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, The Rock's new movie,
well it's nothing like "Walking Tall".
He spends the movie in a bowling alley,
polishing my balls.
The People's Champ? He's never with the people.
Rock, your words are see-through.
You imitate me every time you leave:
for seven years we couldn't see you.
And-and-and-and is it Rock or is it Dwayne?
Pick a side, come on, son.
If I was you, I'd stick with "Rock".
'Cause "Dwayne" ain't got a john, son.
And you'll see me at WrestleMania,
well, then I'll make sure not to miss it.
But you ain't gonna whip my candy ass, dude.
I'll make sure you kiss it.
You're the WrestleMania host, Rock.
That's your role, know it.
You tell these people that you love 'em.
I'm here every week to show it.
That's called a first round knockout,
and now you know that I'm not playin'.
Run your mouth all you want, dude,
it doesn't matter what you're sayin'."
"Rock wanted me to write a song tonight
but I will never be his mouthpiece
'cause Rock is like LeBron James... (beat)
he took his talents straight down the South Beach.
And for the past few weeks
Rock's been legitimately pissed.
If you get stuck singing your song tonight, Rock,
it's all in the wrist.
Could we please have a week
where you don't come out here and choke?
You may be G.I. Joe this summer,
right now you're a G.I. Joke.
Ever since I open my mouth about you,
you've begging me to back off,
so if Rock and Dwayne are the same person,
I think y'all both are jackoffs.
And after April 1st,
you won't be making no more movies.
You're gonna need surgery on your face
just like you had it on your boobies.
Those poppin' pecs, they had more work
than a locker room full of Divas.
I've got a gift for Rock tonight,
I'mma give him a Cleveland Steamer.
"Team Bring It!" His team lost it,
and the truth is getting scary,
'cause they weren't cheering "Rocky!" last week,
they were chanting "Tooth Fairy!".
Keep making fun of this fruity pebble, Rock,
'cause I'm not even close to sick of it.
I'm Mister Kung Pow Chicken,
you just Miami fried chickensh*t.
And no! No! I don't have balls,
but I've got something in their place.
I'mma beat yo ass at Wrestlemania
AND PUT MY NUTS DEAD IN YOUR FACE!"
but I will never be his mouthpiece
'cause Rock is like LeBron James... (beat)
he took his talents straight down the South Beach.
And for the past few weeks
Rock's been legitimately pissed.
If you get stuck singing your song tonight, Rock,
it's all in the wrist.
Could we please have a week
where you don't come out here and choke?
You may be G.I. Joe this summer,
right now you're a G.I. Joke.
Ever since I open my mouth about you,
you've begging me to back off,
so if Rock and Dwayne are the same person,
I think y'all both are jackoffs.
And after April 1st,
you won't be making no more movies.
You're gonna need surgery on your face
just like you had it on your boobies.
Those poppin' pecs, they had more work
than a locker room full of Divas.
I've got a gift for Rock tonight,
I'mma give him a Cleveland Steamer.
"Team Bring It!" His team lost it,
and the truth is getting scary,
'cause they weren't cheering "Rocky!" last week,
they were chanting "Tooth Fairy!".
Keep making fun of this fruity pebble, Rock,
'cause I'm not even close to sick of it.
I'm Mister Kung Pow Chicken,
you just Miami fried chickensh*t.
And no! No! I don't have balls,
but I've got something in their place.
I'mma beat yo ass at Wrestlemania
AND PUT MY NUTS DEAD IN YOUR FACE!"
"The Doctor of Thuganomics is back
and poor Elias has got the worst deal,
'cause you standing the ring
with John Cena about to turn heel.
"Silence your cell phone, hold your applause,
shut your mouth, and no string plucks"?
I feel like I’m watching one of my movies
because this whole damn thing sucks.
This means "walk with Elias"?
Nah, I’m not really feelin’ it.
Because without the guitar, what it really means
is wasted wrestling experiment.
I’m a bad man, my style
like a pitbull bit you,
And you ain’t even half a dog,
you just a little piece of shitzu.
(A photo of a Shih Tzu with Elias's face on it appears on the Titantron)
I’d ask you to do a duet,
but you’d just put it on the shelf,
because everybody here just saw
you only like playin’ with yourself.
And they call me the Golden Shovel,
so I’m about to bury your push,
your face looks like my nuts,
except you got a hairier bush.
It looks like I wore out my welcome.
It’s about time that I left you.
So there’ll be no AA for today,
but... you are about to get the F.U."
and poor Elias has got the worst deal,
'cause you standing the ring
with John Cena about to turn heel.
"Silence your cell phone, hold your applause,
shut your mouth, and no string plucks"?
I feel like I’m watching one of my movies
because this whole damn thing sucks.
This means "walk with Elias"?
Nah, I’m not really feelin’ it.
Because without the guitar, what it really means
is wasted wrestling experiment.
I’m a bad man, my style
like a pitbull bit you,
And you ain’t even half a dog,
you just a little piece of shitzu.
(A photo of a Shih Tzu
with Elias's face on it appears on the Titantron) I’d ask you to do a duet,
but you’d just put it on the shelf,
because everybody here just saw
you only like playin’ with yourself.
And they call me the Golden Shovel,
so I’m about to bury your push,
your face looks like my nuts,
except you got a hairier bush.
It looks like I wore out my welcome.
It’s about time that I left you.
So there’ll be no AA for today,
but... you are about to get the F.U."
— Bringing back the gimmick for another night, against Elias, WrestleMania 35
Other
"I don't blame a portion of the audience getting complacent with me, but I'm not gonna, change who I am."
"Trust me... I know where my heart is and my heart's right here. I'm going to keep doing everything because I love to do it, but I will never sacrifice my time between the ropes. That's no shot to anybody. Everybody's got different career paths. This is mine."
"A true champion is not judged by how much he or she is admired, but how well they can stand at the face of adversity."
