Funny / Hercules: The Legendary Journeys

  • Atalanta may have appeared in only three episodes, but those three episodes all had funny moments.
    • "Ares" has Hercules Distracted by the Sexy during their arm-wrestling match. Atalanta then quips that he's "as much a man as he is a god".
    • "Let The Games Begin" has her doing an Effortless Amazonian Lift on Herc as a surprise greeting. Oh, and her nephew's Jaw Drop when she takes off her Clark Kent Outfit.
    • "If I Had a Hammer" has her shutting Salmoneus up with a punch to the chest as Sal was talking about her physical prowess.
  • Talking about Salmoneus, any scene where he shows up (or even gets mentioned) can split your sides.
  • "One Fowl Day" features Discord as a giant chicken and prompts arguably the definitive version of the old joke ever.
    Autolycus: To kill us all!
  • Hercules asks Ares' alternate-universe twin to distract the original Ares. Ares 2 tries to point out that he's a "lover, not a fighter". But when put on the spot, this inspires him to use his talent by getting Ares' henchwoman to fall for Ares... hard, I'd say Ares was pretty distracted.
    • Ares' reaction when he learns what his double has done.
      "You! I owe you for this!"
  • "Yes, Virginia, There is a Hercules" serves up funny moment after funny moment.
    • Jerry Patrick Brown's entrance involves him going berserk during a game of paintball.
      Jerry: Paintball ain't just a game, soldier. It's a metaphor for life!
    • The Reveal that Alex Kurtzman and Bob Orci are living together inside a closet in Renaissance Pictures' meeting room.
    • Paul Robert Coyle fretting over Kevin Sorbo going missing:
      Paul: No star, no show! No show, no paycheck! No paycheck, no kneecaps! I got debts!
    • This lovely exchange:
      Jerry: Back in Korea, we had a saying: "You never leave a man behind."
      Liz: When were you in Korea?
      Jerry: I was there for the Olympics, missy! It was hell.
    • After Alex and Bob pitch their idea for "Chimpules":
      Rob: You guys sit there like vegetables for six months and the first idea you come up with is "Chimpules?!"
      Alex: Well, we were saving it for the right time.
      Hollinsfoffer: How the fu(bleep) did they get these jobs?!
    • Johnny Pinto's audition for Hercules.
    • The very reason Ares manipulated everything so the show would get canceled: So he could watch Millennium in peace.
  • "Faith" ends on a pretty low note, but still manages to sneak in a hysterical moment early on with Nebula fighting off some guys while Herc and Iolaus just shrug and sit down until Nebula calls for their help.
  • "For Those of You Just Joining Us" is full of these moments:
    • Tapert's meeting with Hollinsfoffer at the start.
      Hollinsfoffer: What is it with you and animals, anyway?
      Rob: Why, what have you heard?
      • "I want action! I want romance! I wanna see Salmoneus in more episodes!"
      • Hollinsfoffer orders Rob and his crew to come up with a new script by the end of the week or Rob will be selling cotton candy at an amusement dressed as Woody Woodpecker, followed by Hollinsfoffer doing a Woody Woodpecker laugh.
      • Rob challenges Hollinsfoffer, calling him "spinach beard." Cut to Rob being thrown through the doors of Hollinsfoffer's office.
    • The scene where Hercules, posing as Kevin Sorbo, is driving along, when Ares suddenly appears in the car with him, holding a Hercules action figure:
      Ares: (high-pitched voice) Oh my god, it's Kevin Sorbo! (bites the action figure's head off) Oh, oh, Momma! Momma! Oh, oh! (tosses the figure out of the car) Oh, the humanity!
      • As Hercules drives, the background changes from one showing a Tyrannosaurus rex to other scenes.
      • Ares hits the bottom of Motive Decay, as he reveals what he wants from his do-gooder brother: "Merchandising rights."
      • Hercules eventually boots Ares out of the car ("This is where you get off"), and Ares is heard cursing at Herc.
    • Paul is nervous about the retreat:
      Paul: I just got a call. They told us to pack our bags. They're shipping us out, aren't they? Why, Jerry?! Why?!
      Rob: Because we've all gotta learn to work together, to be creative in a crunch, to boost overall morale. By the way, Paul, your last script sucked.
      Paul: (dropping to his knees) I'll change my ways! I promise! I'll only drink when I'm awake! I'll tip all the show girls!
    • Everyone, but especially Paul, freaking out upon meeting Norma Bates, complete with Psycho-style music.
    • "Eeny, meeny, miny...DIE!"
    • The "trust exercise" that has the rest of the production crew withdraw their arms as Rob falls to the ground.
    • Iolaus's "cheesy death montage" scene. First is spontaneous combustion, then being eaten by a lizard and, finally, "the old fashioned ACME way."
      Iolaus: One of those days...
    • Hercules pitching how to kill off Iolaus with dignity, recapping "Faith." After the clips are done, we cut back to a bawling production crew.
    • Hercules "accidentally" breaking the dining table to prevent the crew from eating Sunny Day's poisoned soup.
    • Paul freaking out in the sweat lodge, saying he can't breathe and asking Melissa to give him "mouth-to-mouth," prompting Melissa to knock him out.
      • As Jerry comments on how there's nothing scarier than seeing Paul's backside, Paul farts.
      • Everyone wears a towel in the sweat lodge...except Liz, who retains her black business suit.
      • Rob's idea of "Hercules in Ireland": Hercules dressed in a kilt and playing the bagpipes, while a leprechaun dances at his feet.
        Rob: Sometimes, I'm so brilliant, it's frightening!
        Melissa: Well, ya got it half-right.
      • "Look, everyone, it's Mel Torme!"
    • The flashback of Hercules coming across Sunny Day, revealed to be Hollinsfoffer, singing "Figaro" in a deep voice.
    • How Hercules figured out Sunny Day is Hollinsfoffer: Norma Bates simply slipped him a note in the sweat lodge.
    • "You haven't heard the last of me! Wherever there's television, there'll always be B.S.!"
    • Ares pulling an I Always Wanted to Say That on Hollinsfoffer by telling him "You will never work in this town again!"
  • "Love, Amazon Style." As a Continuity Nod, Iolaus off-handedly asks Hercules if he knows what happened to Salmoneus. Herc quickly says "Yeah, he got arrested for tax fraud" and they go on with the episode.
  • "Full Circle":
    • Hercules and Iolaus find a village under attack by a rather goofy-looking monster conjured by Evander. The monster, at one point, breathes bubbles after it originally spewed flames.
    • After Herc and Iolaus wake up to find Evander missing, Ares greets them by calling them "The two stooges."
    • Herc and Iolaus's doomsday scenario conversation:
      Iolaus: Well, if you're so fed up with the gods, why don't we let them just destroy Olympus?
      Hercules: Remember my theory about the seasons?
      Iolaus: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The sun revolves around the Earth. What's that got to do with Olympus?
      Hercules: Well, Olympus is supported by a pillar that runs right into the center of the Earth. If Atlas manages to break the pillar, Olympus will come crashing down.
      Iolaus: So?
      Hercules: So if Olympus falls, it'll hit the ground with the force of a comet.
      Iolaus: A what?
      Hercules: A comet. I'll explain later. Olympus will knock the Earth right out of its orbit.
      Iolaus: Wait. So if the Earth gets knocked too close to the sun—
      Hercules: We'll fry.
      Iolaus: And if it goes too far—
      Hercules: We'll freeze.
      Iolaus: (beat) Why are you wasting time explaining this to me?! Come on! (heads off)
    • At the end, Ares appears to Hercules and Iolaus to gripe about Zeus and Hera getting back together.
      Ares: I hope you're happy! Because of you, Hera and Zeus are gonna get back together again!
      Hercules: And this upsets you. Unbelievable.
      Ares: Because everything I ever learned about hate and greed and envy and spite, I learned from Hera! (looks up at the sky) ARE THERE NO MORE HEROES?!
      • Followed by Herc and Iolaus taunting Ares by telling him he still has them and making absolutely goofy smiles, prompting the God of War to vomit in disgust.
      • Ares then tries to threaten his demigod brother, only for Hercules and Iolaus to cut him off by mimicking him.
        Ares: You mark my words—
        Hercules: "You'll pay for this, Hercules." "We'll meet again, little brother."
        Iolaus: "You're on my list, Hercules!"
      • The whole thing ends with Ares heading off, sniffling, before he disappears.