History Funny / HerculesTheLegendaryJourneys

14th Oct '17 12:10:07 PM kalel32688
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* The breakout of a war causes Ares so much joy that he blows up a cow for the fun of it.
-->'''Hercules:''' That was a cow.\\

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* After his dream of Iolaus, Hercules utters to himself, "No more stewed possum for me."
** After he has another vision of Iolaus, Herc goes, "Definitely no more stewed possum for me."
* Hercules's un-enthused response after Ares zaps in:
-->'''Hercules''': Oh, goody, now my day is complete.
* After Hercules announces his intentions to stop a brewing war and heads off, we get this reply from the God of War with all the [[SarcasmMode sarcastic petulance]] of a recalcitrant teenager:
-->'''Ares''': Well, that's new.
* After the two armies start fighting, Ares appears in the midst of the hostilities and looks around at the soldiers in awe ("I had this battle scheduled for next week!") before proceeding to excitedly cheer them on. You'd think he was a high-school gym teacher egging students on.
* Hercules briefly suspecting Iolaus isn't Iolaus, and Iolaus's efforts to convince him he is the genuine article.
* Ares's gleeful entrance before Hercules and Iolaus.
** Ares asking Iolaus, "Aren't you dead?", followed by Iolaus feigning gasping in pain as Hercules suggests "Why don't you go be annoying someplace else?"
* The breakout of a war causes Ares so much joy that [[ForTheLulz he blows up a cow for the fun of it.
it]].
-->'''Hercules:''' (''in the funniest "WTF?" tone of voice ever'') That was a cow.\\



* Hercules says he has no time to bother with Ares because Michael is threatening to end the world.
-->'''Ares:''' You're bluffing.\\

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* ** Hercules says he has no time to bother with Ares because Michael is threatening to end the world.
-->'''Ares:''' --->'''Ares:''' You're bluffing.\\



''[Hercules and Iolaus begin walking off]''\\

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''[Hercules (''Hercules and Iolaus begin walking off]''\\off'')\\



'''Hercules:''' I guess so, but in a way I envy him.\\

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'''Hercules:''' I guess so, but in a way way, I envy him.\\



'''Ares:''' I hate when they do that. ''[throws lightning into the sky, immediately gets hit with a dead bird]''

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'''Ares:''' I hate when they do that. ''[throws (''throws lightning into the sky, sky and immediately gets hit with a dead bird]''
bird'')
* This exchange:
-->'''Hercules''': War.
-->'''Iolaus''': What is it good for?
-->'''Hercules''': Absolutely nothing.
* As Ares goes about how he's going to get violent with whoever is "taking the food out of my soldiers' mouths":
-->'''Iolaus''': Where did you get all of this hostility?
-->'''Hercules''': He was born that away. It's sad, really.
* Hercules's completely unconcerned "Oh, boy" as Ares issues his AGodAmI declaration.
* Thus says Ares after he and his henchmen pop in before Michael and two of the HorsemenOfTheApocalypse:
-->'''Ares''': Boys, it's time to crack open a barrel of whoop-ass!
** Made better with Michael [[TheStoic stoically]] staring back at the God of War before turning to the two Horsemen and calmly ordering them to destroy Ares and his boys.
** And the two Horsemen take down Ares's men in about less than a minute. CurbStompBattle does ''not'' begin to describe it.
** Ares's expression as he looks down at what's left of his men, followed by their weapons pathetically clanging to the ground. Then he puts on a brave face and goes, "So that's how you wanna play it, huh?"
** Ares hurls an energy blast at War, who deflects it with his shield, resulting in [[HoistByHisOwnPetard Ares getting hit by his own blast]] and sent flying backwards. After he lands on the ground, he looks pitifully at War and goes "''Et tu'', War?"
* "KISS MY AX!"
** Followed by Michael [[NoSell simply catching said ax]] and Ares being sent flying a great distance away by the Horsemen's combined might.
* After Ares lands near Hercules and Iolaus, he remarks he's getting really angry...then collapses. Hercules gives a mild shrug.
* [[OhCrap Iolaus acting as though he's a student caught doing something wrong by a schoolteacher]] as Michael calls him out for warning Hercules about the coming Reckoning.
* Ares's GrudgingThankYou to Hercules.
7th Sep '17 12:31:22 PM SpideyTerry
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* Blamed for the murder of a king, Salmoneus resists Autolycus's DisguisedInDrag plan and says they're innocent.
-->'''Autolycus:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh, sure, they'll believe that.]] You were holding the knife, and I'm the King of Thieves. If we're lucky, they'll only kill us once.




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** Young!Herc insists to Zeus that Apollo said it was okay for him to have ambrosia. The King of the Gods gives a perfect annoyed dad response: "I don't care what he said!"




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** Also good is Hera's reaction. She's enraged that Zeus wound up in the arms of "a bimbo" and is having the time of his life.
--->'''Hera:''' He's supposed to be suffering--driving himself crazy because once he was somebody!\\
'''Ares:''' [[SarcasmMode Y'know, maybe it might just come to him how miserable he is without you.]]




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* It turns out Salmoneus got into some other off-screen legal trouble. As Hercules says, "That massage parlor bust was a real drag."




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* Iolaus spends the episode being a massive Egyptologist (as Hercules puts it). He repeatedly annoys Herc with various facts about Egypt.




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* The coven tries to get Iolaus out of the way with a spell making him hopelessly in love with Lilith. She's weirded out by his overtures and tries to keep her distance, which she interprets as cheating on him. He goes crazy with jealousy, but it's still played strictly for comedy.
-->'''Iolaus:''' Herc, great, you're back. Break the door down, will ya? I gotta kill Lilith. She's cheating on me.
** They get rid of him by saying they've been planning a surprise party for him. Hercules suggests Iolaus go get some ice by going to the top of a nearby mountain. It's not until the very end that Hercules remembers this and sets out to find him. We then see Iolaus as the spell breaks: up an icy mountain and no clue how he got there.
28th Aug '17 9:13:12 PM SpideyTerry
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--->'''Autolycus:''' ''[punching him out]'' [[[[Film/ArmyOfDarkness I ain't that good.]]

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--->'''Autolycus:''' ''[punching him out]'' [[[[Film/ArmyOfDarkness [[Film/ArmyOfDarkness I ain't that good.]]




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* A BroughtDownToNormal Zeus takes refuge in a bar and immediately turns on the charm for a blonde patron. This annoys her boyfriend, but later, all three of them are drunkenly singing tavern songs.




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* The breakout of a war causes Ares so much joy that he blows up a cow for the fun of it.
-->'''Hercules:''' That was a cow.\\
'''Ares:''' [[{{Pun}} Udder destruction.]]
* Hercules says he has no time to bother with Ares because Michael is threatening to end the world.
-->'''Ares:''' You're bluffing.\\
'''Hercules:''' [[SarcasmMode Okay, I'm bluffing.]] See ya.\\
''[Hercules and Iolaus begin walking off]''\\
'''Iolaus:''' Boy, poor Ares. Have to work it out for himself.\\
'''Hercules:''' I guess so, but in a way I envy him.\\
'''Iolaus:''' Envy him?\\
'''Hercules:''' Sure. I mean, ignorance is bliss.\\
'''Ares:''' I hate when they do that. ''[throws lightning into the sky, immediately gets hit with a dead bird]''
27th Aug '17 8:04:48 PM SpideyTerry
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* When Hercules goes to the marketplace for Alcmene, a pig keeps brushing up against his leg. When Herc gently keeps trying to kick the pig away, the off-screen owner tells him to knock it off and rushes him. Without missing a beat, Hercules flips the guy on his back and nonchalantly says, "Hello, Iolaus."
* When Iolaus tries to shake Oi-Lan's hand, she flips him.
-->'''Iolaus:''' ''[to Hercules]'' It's bad enough when you flip me.




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* The sheer look of OhCrap on Autolycus's face when he realizes it's Hercules he's dealing with.




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* Autolycus's subplot has several, as he teams up with and gets irritated by his younger self.
** His younger self mocking him as "Mr. Goody Two-Shoes!"
--->'''Autolycus:''' ''[punching him out]'' [[[[Film/ArmyOfDarkness I ain't that good.]]
** "I know this is a huge shock, Hercules, but at one time I was actually obnoxious."



** And of course how he begins his story: "[[OpeningShoutOut It's the story of a time long ago...]]"




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* How Hercules sees through Deimos's old man disguise.
-->'''Deimos:''' How'd you know?\\
'''Hercules:''' Your annoying laugh.\\
''[Deimos begins laughing uncontrollably]''\\
'''Hercules:''' That wasn't a compliment!
10th Jul '17 5:17:35 PM kalel32688
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* Paul Robert Coyle coming onto a casino worker (and failing), then thinking the person who's calling him is a debtor.

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* Paul Robert Coyle coming onto a casino worker (and failing), then thinking the person who's calling him is a debtor.debt collector.
10th Jul '17 4:58:11 PM kalel32688
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Added DiffLines:

* Ares affectionately saying "I love you, Mom" after watching Hera do something.
27th Jun '17 6:10:21 PM kalel32688
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* When Liz suggests an episode that focuses on a strong woman, Rob tells her they can't afford Margaret Thatcher.



* Ares's [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe expression]] when Strife mentions he misses ''Series/CopRock''.

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* Ares's ** [[spoiler:Ares's [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe expression]] when Strife mentions he misses ''Series/CopRock''.
''Series/CopRock''.]]
** [[spoiler:Strife moving a frozen Bob and Ares signaling for him that the position is perfect.]]




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* During his and Young!Hercules's fight with Ariadne's harassers, Young!Jason sticks his banana into his foe's mouth and tells him "Enjoy the rest!" before striking him.
* When Apollo mentions that Hercules' name comes up a lot whenever Zeus and Hera talk, Young!Hercules gives Young!Jason a "I told you so" wink.
* Zeus asking Young!Hercules if there's something wrong with his hearing after Hercules asks if he's Zeus.
17th Jun '17 11:21:10 AM kalel32688
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to:

* Iolaus 2 freaking out after learning the original Iolaus is dead.
* Iolaus 2 refuses to go with Hercules, then The Sovereign begins to stir and he changes his mind.
* Ares 2 checking himself out in a mirror and asking "Does this outfit make my butt look big?"
* Nebula 2 dissolving into tears and complaining that no one "likes me for me!"
* Nebula 2 welcoming Hercules (posing as The Sovereign) and flirting with him a bit...then punching him, demanding to know where he's been and grousing about his absence as she pushes him repeatedly.
-->'''Nebula 2''': Where have you been?! Every day without you has been an eternity, every eternity an infinity, every infinity--
-->'''Hercules''': Hey! I get your point!
** She then executes a GroinAttack on Hercules, complete with a cartoonish squeak and Herc going "Hello!" with the funniest stunned expression on his face.
*** When Nebula lets go of Hercules's...goods, another squeak is heard.
* Hercules tossing Falafel out of the window to maintain his guise as The Sovereign.
* Hercules ending up in a suggestive position on a statue after Nebula 2 pushes him across the room.
* [[MassOhCrap Everyone else vacating the room]] the moment Nebula 2 [[WhipItGood breaks out her whip]].
* Nebula 2 hissing at Iolaus 2 as she's escorted away by guards.
* Ares 2, observing Ares and Nebula 2 arguing, asking "Why can't we all get along?" as he sheds a SingleTear.
* Nebula 2's over-the-top grief after Ares informs her that the real Sovereign is dead, as well as Ares's disgusted assumption that she cares for "that clown." Followed by this:
-->'''Nebula 2''': No! [[AllWomenAreLustful I just thought I was gonna get lucky tonight!]]
-->(''[[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe Ares turns away in exasperation]]'')
* Hercules asks Ares 2 to distract the original Ares. Ares 2 tries to point out that he's a "[[TheMatchmaker lover, not a fighter]]." But when put on the spot, this inspires him to use his talent by getting Nebula 2 to fall for Ares...''hard''. It's safe to say that Ares is [[DistractedByTheSexy pretty distracted]].
** As Nebula 2 and Ares start to get it on (complete with [[ImmodestOrgasm grunts and cat sounds]]), Ares 2's initial joy turns to revulsion and [[HeadTiltinglyKinky he turns away]], saying "I can't bear to look"...but then glances back.
** Ares' reaction when he learns what his double has done.
--->'''Ares''': You! I owe you for this!
*** Ares 2 yelping like a girl and teleporting away when Ares throws a vase at him.
* Hercules punching Ares and sending him flying in and out through various doors.
* Hercules commenting that [[{{Stripperific}} Nebula 2]] would look better in a jail cell.



* Hercules asks Ares 2 to distract the original Ares. Ares 2 tries to point out that he's a [[TheMatchmaker "lover, not a fighter"]]. But when put on the spot, this inspires him to use his talent by getting Ares' henchwoman to fall for Ares...''hard'', I'd say Ares was pretty distracted.
** Ares' reaction when he learns what his double has done.
--->"You! I owe you for this!"
15th Jun '17 7:30:35 AM kalel32688
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to:

* Dahak's response to Hercules overturning a table in one of his temples.
-->'''Dahak''': The maid doesn't come until tomorrow.
* Dahak's religious gathering strongly resembles something one would see in a Western-world Christian church, complete with organ music and a lively choir. Dahak even speaks with a Southern accent as he preaches to his congregation.
* Hercules's greeting to Dahak during his BigDamnHeroes moment:
-->'''Hercules''': Hi, Dahak. Now it's your turn to pray.
* Herc's BondOneLiner to Dahak as he prepares to use the mystical gem against him:
-->'''Hercules''': Oh, lighten up!




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* Ares's failed attempt to attack Nebula and Morrigan.
-->'''Ares''': (''as his zap pops out'') Oh, great.
-->'''Nebula''': Don't worry. Happens to all men sooner or later.
* Ares hurting his ankle after he jumps down from his perch, then hiding behind a statue of himself.
** Nebula then asking him "You ''are'' Ares, right?"
* After a bunch of Dahak's followers burst into the temple:
-->'''Nebula''': I've heard of religious conviction, but this is ridiculous.
* As Ares flees with Nebula and Morrigan, he takes a moment to turn back and tell his pursuers "You're all on my list!", prompting Nebula to grab and pull him away with her.
* Ares laughing as Nebula and Morrigan wisely haul ass away from Dahak's worshipers after he turns them on the two women.
11th Jun '17 10:57:01 AM kalel32688
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to:

* This is possibly an example of BlackComedy, but Dahak makes it clear to [[spoiler:Nebula]] that he doesn't take rejection well. At all.
-->'''Dahak''': NO! IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL I SAY IT'S OVER!
* Dahak, in [[spoiler:Iolaus]]'s body, greeting Hercules with "Boo!"
* After Hercules declares to Dahak that he isn't staying, Dahak pretends to sob how he came back from the dead just to see Hercules.
* As Dahak exposits to Hercules how he was able to enter the world despite Herc's efforts to stop him, he obviously causes creepy organ music to play in the background as he mockingly relates his tale.
** He ends the story by singing "The end!", then considers for a moment before remarking "Or maybe it's only the beginning."
* During the climatic fight, Dahak whistles at some bladed weapons as he telekinetically hurls them at Hercules.
* Herc's PreAsskickingOneLiner after Dahak mimics his voice: "Not bad, but your delivery lacked [[TalkToTheFist a certain punch]]!"



-->'''Hollinsfoffer''': What is it with you and animals, anyway?\\
'''Rob''': Why, what have you heard?

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-->'''Hollinsfoffer''': ** After they watch a clip of Hercules, Iolaus, and Autolycus facing a giant chicken.
--->'''Hollinsfoffer''': Let me get this straight, Tapert...Hercules versus a chicken?\\
'''Rob''': You know, that's not fair. It was a giant chicken.
** Hollinsfoffer jabbing a cattle prod into Rob's foot, which is propped up on his desk.
** "Oh, come on, B.S. You know me better than that. I never cared about quality."
** This nugget:
--->'''Hollinsfoffer''':
What is it with you and animals, anyway?\\
'''Rob''': (''concerned'') Why, what have you heard?



** Hollinsfoffer orders Rob and his crew to come up with a new script by the end of the week or Rob will be selling cotton candy at an amusement park dressed as Woody Woodpecker, followed by Hollinsfoffer doing a Woody Woodpecker laugh.

to:

** Hollinsfoffer then orders Rob and his crew to come up with a new script by the end of the week or Rob will be selling cotton candy at an amusement park dressed as Woody Woodpecker, followed by Hollinsfoffer doing a Woody Woodpecker laugh.



* Liz going "Damn!" after Rob replies nothing's broken after being thrown out of Hollinsfoffer's office.
* This brief but lovely exchange:
-->'''Rob''': Hollinsfoffer wants a bunch of new story ideas by end of week, or it's fade out on me.\\
'''Melissa''': What's the bad news?



** As Hercules drives, the background changes from one showing a TyrannosaurusRex to other scenes.

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** Before Ares shows up, Hercules is whistling the show's theme tune.
** As Hercules drives, drives and Ares mentions "those cheesy, blue-screen effects", the background changes from one changes, showing old-time scenes involving a TyrannosaurusRex to other scenes.''TyrannosaurusRex'', horse-racing, and fighting soldiers.
*** For bigger laughs, the horse-racing is seen behind Hercules while the soldiers scene is shown behind Ares.



'''Paul:''' ''(dropping to his knees)'' I'll change my ways! I promise! I'll only drink when I'm awake! I'll tip all the show girls!

to:

'''Paul:''' ''(dropping to his knees)'' I'll change my ways! I promise! I'll only drink when I'm awake! I'll tip all the show girls!showgirls!
* The looks on Paul and Jerry's faces after Rob announces they're going on a corporate retreat.
* Everyone dresses in outdoorsy clothes...except Liz, who retains her black suit.
* Sunny Day's introduction.
-->'''Sunny Day''': Well, howdy y'all, y'all. Welcome to Camp Wannachuck, where every day, you'll see a sunny day. 'Cause that's my name: Sunny Day.\\
'''Liz''': Pray for rain.



** Rob's shoes squeaking as he turns around on the table.
** After Rob hits the ground and falls unconscious, Paul steals Rob's wallet as he checks to see if he's all right. And he does this ''in plain sight of everyone else''. Who make no move to stop him.
*** This:
---->'''Jerry''': Is he dead?\\
'''Liz''': Don't tease me.



* When Hercules arrives, Jerry shoots up from his seat, salutes, and barks "Ten-hut!"



* Melissa telling Paul that having a conversation with him is like being in a coma without the advantages.
* As Norma looks creepily at the camera after supposedly poisoning the soup, lightning flashes...even though it's sunny outside.



* After Jerry enthusiastically answers Sunny Day's question ("A true sign of character is knowing when to say, 'The buck stops here.' Which one of our illustrious presidents had that very motto on his desk?" "I know it. I know it! Our 33rd president, and a great American, Mr. Harry S. Truman!"), Liz remarks "I think they dropped the bomb in the wrong place."



** Rob's idea of Hercules getting in touch with his spiritual side: A clip of Hercules, his long hair tied in a ponytail, standing on someone's doorstep holding a flower and asking, in a very effeminate voice, for a donation to "the Church of Soul and Consciousness," only for said someone to slam the door in his face ("Get lost!").
** Rob considering Hercules's thoughtful answer, accompanied by the sound of wheels turning, until Hercules goes "Never mind."



* Norma Bates again startling the production crew right after Rob tells everyone they're going to stay "even if it kills us."
** [[AmbiguouslyGay Liz just gives Norma a small smile and strokes her own hair]].
** Sunny Day then shows up and chides Norma for leaving the house.
--->'''Sunny Day''': Norma, honey, you know the rules. In the closet by sundown. Now, get.
* Sunny Day then tells the gang that Norma hasn't been the same since [[Music/TheSpiceGirls Ginger Spice left the group]]. This news takes Jerry by surprise.
-->'''Jerry''': Dear God in Heaven, say it ain't so!
* After Jerry points out that Hercules's pitch doesn't account for the villain in the end and Hercules replies he left that open to build up the villain's next appearance, Paul cackles at Jerry, who [[OffhandBackhand backhands him]].
* Everyone huddling behind Hercules as they try to figure out the answer to Hercules's question. Liz doesn't even join them; she just steps into a corner by herself.
* The buzzer sound effect that's heard when Rob gives the wrong answer: "Falafel."
* Jerry doing karate moves as the cave starts to collapse.



* [[spoiler:Hollinsfoffer]] growling at [[spoiler:Norma]] after [[spoiler:she handcuffs him roughly]].
* Hercules making a chatting motion as [[spoiler:Hollinsfoffer rants about his EvilPlan]].
* When Ares zaps into the cave:
-->'''Rob''': Oh...
-->'''Liz''': My...
-->'''Jerry''': (''happily'') God...
-->'''Melissa''': Of...
-->'''Paul''': War! (''passes out'')




to:

* Jerry expressing it's "kinda comforting" that the God of War is real.
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