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"I'm an action figure!"
The Disney adaptation of the Greek mythology of Hercules is one of the funnier films produced by the studio, featuring tons of hilarious characters, memorable one-liners and one of the funniest Disney villains out there. As a result, it has more than enough laughs to go around for the whole family. In fact, this is often considered one of Disney's funniest movies.


The Disney film

  • The introduction perfectly sets up the film's comedic tone. Charlton Heston makes a voice over cameo in the opening, setting up the film to be a serious telling of the Hercules myth...only for the Muses to abruptly butt in and tell him to lighten up. Heston rolls with it and says "You go, girl." as the Muses begin their song.
    Thalia: Honey, you mean Hunk-ules! [hops down to the picture on the vase] Ooh, I'd like to make some sweet music with—!
    • When the other four muses launch into "The Gospel Truth", Thalia realizes that she needs to catch up with the others, rushes down the improvised staircase, and does exaggerated high kicks once she catches up.
  • The Muses sum up most of the stories in actual Greek Mythology: "AND THEN ALONG CAME ZEUS!"
  • Baby Hercules chewing on a lightning bolt and tying Pain and Panic in a knot.
  • Zeus's present to his newborn son is Pegasus. That's right. Only a baby, and his parents got him a pony for a present!
  • Almost all of the scenes with Hades (played by James Woods, who actually improvised many of his lines). The numerous mythical/historical in-jokes were also great.
    • This line of dialogue:
      Hades: How sentimental. (Fakes being emotional) You know, I haven't been this choked up since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat! Huh?! (Beat) Is this an audience or a mosaic?
      • In the Finnish dub, he says that he (roughly translated) "hasn't felt this warm inside since the last time [he] swallowed a match stick". Never mind the fact that the guy's literally on fire.
      • In the Swedish dub, he asks "So, is this a baptism or a wake?"
      • In the Greek dub, he says the hunk of moussaka getting caught in his throat brought him a shock instead, and he asks the Olympians whether they're alive or statues.
    • The entirety of Hades' conversation with the Fates.
      Hades: Ladies, so sorry I'm—
      The Fates: Late!
      Lachesis: We knew you would be!
      Clotho: [proudly] We know EVERYTHING!
      Lachesis: Past—
      Clotho: —Present—
      Atropos: —and Future! [aside to Panic] Indoor plumbing...it's gonna be big!
      Hades: Right, anyway ladies, I was at this party and I lost all track of ti—
      The Fates: We know!
      Hades: I know you know. Anyway, Zeus—Mr. High and Mighty, Mr. "Hey You, Get Off Of My Cloud"—Now he has—
      The Fates: —a bouncing baby brat!
      Clotho: We KNOW!
      Hades: I KNOW you know. I know. I got it. I got the concept.
    • Nearly every time Hades goes off on one of his rants. Such as upon finding out Hercules has been alive all these years.
      Panic: Hercules... Oh, why does that name ring a bell?
      Pain: I dunno. Maybe we owe him money?
      Hades: WHAT. Was that name. Again?
      Meg: Hercules. (Hades snarls; Meg continues without noticing Hades' rage) He comes on with this big, innocent farm boy routine, but I could see through that in a Peloponnesian minute.
      Pain: Wait a minute! Wasn't Hercules the name of that kid we were supposed to--
      Pain & Panic: OH, MY GODS! RUN FOR IT! (Hades grabs them)
      Hades: So you took care of him, huh? "Dead as a doornail!" Weren't those your exact words?
      Pain: This might be a different Hercules!
      Panic: Yeah! I mean, Hercules is a (choked by Hades) very popular name nowadays!
      Pain: Remember like a few years ago, every other boy was named Jason and the girls were all named Brittany?
      Hades: I'm about to rearrange the cosmos, and the one SCHLEMIEL who can louse it up IS WALTZING AROUND IN THE WOODS!
      • The Korean dub changed Pain's line "Remember like a few years ago, every other boy was named Jason and the girls were all named Brittany?" to "Few years ago, it was a trend to name a boy Aladdin and name a girl Jasmine!"
    • Upon finding that Pain is wearing Air-Hercs:
      Hades: What... are... those?
      Pain: Um, I don't know. I thought they looked kinda...dashing.
      Hades: [getting flamier with each phrase] I've got 24 hours to get rid of this bozo, or the entire scheme that I've been setting up for 18 years goes up in smoke... and YOU... ARE WEARING... HIS... MERCHANDISE?!?
      [Hades almost flames Pain before both hear a slurping noise. Hades turns to see Panic drinking some Hercu-lade]
      Panic: [nervously] Oh! Ha ha. Uh... thirsty?
      Hades: DYEAAGGHH! (Cut to the mountain exploding in the distance as the city shakes. Hercules, Pegasus and the citizens of Thebes are shown in the foreground, hearing the distant explosion, then shrugging. We then see that Hades has flamed poor Pain and Panic.)
    • Hades having no chill when Meg refuses to go along with Hades plans:
    Hades: I'm sorry. You mind runnin' that by me again? I must have had a chunk of brimstone wedged in my ear or something...
    Meg: Then read my lips - forget it!
    Hades: Meg, Meg, Meg, my sweet deluded little minion. Aren't we forgetting one teensy-weensy, but ever so crucial, little tiny detail?
    [Hades explodes into flames]
    Hades: I OWN YOU!
    • When Hades releases the Titans for his evil plan, they waste no time wreaking havoc all across Greece. Unfortunately, it turns out that they're... not very bright, to say the least.
      Titans: ZEUS!
      Hades: Uh, guys?
      Titans: HUH?
      Hades: Olympus would be that way. (points at Olympus in the opposite direction)
      Titans: (look back as if to say "Whoops", then turn around and walk towards it) ZEUS!
      • Look at Stratos' (the wind titan's) face: he looks particularly embarrassed!
    • His big entrance during his takeover of Olympus:
    • Later, when he sees the Titans fleeing away after Hercules rescues Zeus:
      Hades: Guys! Get your Titanic rears in gear and KICK! SOME OLYMPIAN! BUTT! [Pegasus sneaks up and blows his hair out as if it were a candle] Whoa, is my hair out?!
      • The Greek dub has him ask "Whoa, did my wig slip off?"
    • The Stinger has him call out:
      Hades: What d’ya say? It’s happy ending time! Everybody’s got a little taste of somethin’ but me. I got nothin’. I’m— I’m here with nothin’. Anybody listenin’? It’s like I’m— What am I, an echo or something? Hello? Hello? Am I talking to, what, hyperspace? Hello, it’s me. Nobody listens.
  • Amphitryon and Alcmene's looks of disbelief after seeing baby Herc curb-stomp Pain and Panic.
  • One of the construction workers Hercules nearly knocks over at top speed with the tall load of hay angrily calls him a Sunday driver.
  • At the beginning of "Go The Distance", Hercules picks up a rock and skips it - and it just keeps skipping off into the sunset.
  • What is Herc's first instinct upon the giant stone statue of Zeus towering above him, coming to life and directly reaching towards him? Scream at the top of his lungs, that's what. Of course, in Herc's defense, that's probably how any normal person would react in such a situation. The scrawny teenager tries running away and crashes into a candlestand before being picked up in the great god's massive hands. The only other time Hercules became frightened enough to scream or run away was during his battle the Hydra, ironically after growing more muscular and brawny upon completing his training as a full-fledged hero.
  • Blink and you'll miss it, but after Herc and Pegasus first meet Phil (but don't realize who he is) are asking him if he knows where they can find Philoctetes, Phil's got a bowl of fruit in his hand—he studies it for a moment before tossing the fruit away and just straight-up eating the bowl (though Fridge Brilliance comes in when you realize that, since Phil is technically half-goat, he'll probably eat literally anything).
    • Hercules' reaction to seeing the goat-man for the first time was funny.
  • Just getting inside Phil's doorway becomes a whole sketch comedy routine:
  • Phil's snarkily lampshading Greek Hero Theme Naming when he's trying to get Hercules to leave at first:
    Phil: Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus... A lot of "-eus"-es.
    • One of the trophies in Phil's house is a ceramic plate with a painting of Theseus fighting the Minotaur on it... but when Phil spins it around, it's shown that it actually shows Theseus getting throttled by the monster.
  • Phil talking about Achilles and the pride he felt training, then his shame.
    Phil: [presents Achilles statue] And then, there was Achilles! Now there was a guy who had it all! He had the build, he had the foot speed! He could jab! He could take a hit! He could keep on coming! [stops as he looks at the heel of the statue] BUT THAT FURSHLUGGINER HEEL OF HIS!!! He barely gets knicked there ONCE and KABOOM! [illustrates his point by flicking the statue’s heel, causing cracks to spiderweb all over until it collapses into a pile of pebbles] He’s history!
  • Phil making fun of the idea that Zeus is Hercules' father.
    Phil: Hold it. Zeus is your father, right? (starts laughing) Zeus. The big guy - he's your daddy? Hahaha! Mr. Lightning Bolts! 'Read me a book, would you, da-da?' Hahahaaa, Zeus! 'Once upon a time!'... Ha-ha-ha!
    • Later, during Phil's song, he tells Herc that even if he is Zeus' son, he won't train him. Zeus convinces him to in the most epic way possible.
      Phil: My answer is, two words:
      [gets hit by lightning; Beat as a fried Phil looks up sheepishly at the sky]
      ...Okay.
    • Hercules is grateful to see Phil agreeing to train, treating Phil as though he had a change of heart and not that he changed his mind because Zeus just hit him with a Bolt of Divine Retribution.
  • While training to be a hero, Hercules has to save a "damsel" which is portrayed as a dummy. The dummy is barely in pieces by the time his training was finished.
  • The Rule of Three gag with the Damsel in Distress doll and the abuse it endures in "One Last Hope". By the end of the song, it definitely looks like it's seen better days.
    • In the Hungarian version, the rule about damsels ("Always handle with care") got translated as "When saving a damsel... if possible, she should stay alive!!"
    • The whole montage in general has its moments, mainly from Phil.
      Phil: Rule #95: Concentrate!
      [Herc grabs a bunch of daggers and does a cool-looking but wild toss towards the targets]
      Phil: Rule #96...
      [Shot of Phil who's been nailed to a tree by the daggers]
      Phil: AIM!
    • The final test Phil gives Hercules consists of blades, spikes, a stone fist, and two sharks that make up an obstacle course, ending with the doll and a ring of fire.
  • Notice that when Herc first addresses Nessus, he appears to check the centaur's back end before calling him "sir".
  • Meg's Establishing Character Moment:
  • When Hercules confronts Nessus to save Megara (or Meg), she didn't want to be saved. With the girl still in his clutches, Nessus punched Hercules into the river, causing the young hero to lose his sword. Hercules frantically searches the water for his sword, but grabbed a fish by mistake. He pulled out a swordfish! This causes Nessus to roar with laughter before hitting Herc again.
    • Just the look on Herc's face before and after he gets punched by Nessus, just before crashing headfirst into a rock. Dazed, Hercules comes up sputtering and spitting water.
  • Phil coaches Hercules to "use [his] head," which the young hero takes literally to save Megara.
    Phil: All right! Not bad, kid! Not exactly what I had in mind, but not bad.
  • As Herc continues fighting Nessus, he rides the bucking centaur like a rodeo horse.
  • Just the centaur getting KO'd with his horseshoes flying after him. It's straight out of classic 'toons! No Trailer Joke Decay here!
  • After Nessus lands and is dazed, Pegasus flutters over and blows a puff of air to knock him back in the water. He then daintily walks across the centaur’s back before stomping on his head and grinding back and forth with a toothy grin.
  • Hercules being the brave, heroic title character that just awesomely KO'd a centaur that was more than his size (which is really saying something) being reduced to a stammering, stuttering, Adorkable Shrinking Violet when he first tries talking to Meg.
    • Just the centaur getting KO'd with his horseshoes flying after him. It's straight out of classic 'toons! No Trailer Joke Decay here!
  • Megara accidentally slapping Hercules in the face with her wet hair.
  • Meg's introduction clues us into how snarky she is with several lines.
    Hercules: Are you alright, miss...
    Meg: (Meg whips her head around, accidentally slapping Herc in the face with her wet hair) Megara. My friends call me "Meg" — or at least they would if I had any friends. So, did they give you a name with all those rippling pectorals?
    Hercules: (Shy chuckle) Uh, I'm, uh, uh...(Stammering, Herc babbles incoherently)
    Meg: Are you always this articulate?
    Hercules: Hercules. (Clears throat) My name's Hercules.
    Meg: Hercules? I think I prefer "Wonderboy".
    Hercules: So, how did you get mixed up with the—
    Meg: Pinhead with hooves? Well, you know how men are. They think "no" means "yes" and "get lost" means "take me I'm yours"! (does a mock swooning pose to Herc)
    (confused, Herc just glances back at Pegasus, who just shrugs and snorts with irritation)
    Meg: (beat) Don't worry, Shorty here can explain it to you later.
    Phil: (growls)
    Meg: Well, thanks for everything, Herc. It's been a real slice.
    • Maybe the best part of that exchange is Herc rolling his eyes at Meg's "no means yes" line.
      • Even better when you remember whose son Herc is.
  • After Meg leaves, Phil trying to snap Herc out of his lovesick stare.
  • One of the citizens of Thebes has a cat named Snowball, whose black fur is burnt to a crisp after surviving a fire. In crowd scenes the man can be seen wearing Snowball as a hat when panicking, and when praising Hercules Snowball claps too. According to The Art of Hercules - The Chaos of Creation, Snowball does most of his owner's thinking for him.
    • The ending has Snowball wearing Hercules merch and blowing him a kiss.
  • Hercules perks up once he hears that two little boys have been trapped in a rock slide, since it means he can prove himself as a hero. Meg, not knowing the reason he was happy, has this to say:
    Hercules: Kids? Trapped? Phil, this is great!
    Meg: You're really choked up about this, aren't you?
    • Herc then takes Meg with him and Pegasus, despite her protests, leaving Phil behind.
      Meg: No, wait! P-Please! Y-Y-You don't understand! I-I-I have this terrible fear of— (Pegasus takes off) HEIGHTS!!
      (cue Meg fearfully hanging on to Herc as Pegasus snickers)
      Phil: (still on the ground chasing after them) I'm right behind ya, kid! Woo! I'm way behind ya, kid! Ooh, I got a fur wedgie!
      • Then when they arrive at the scene, a deep canyon, Meg is left groaning with her messy hair frizzled up and wears a sickly expression.
        Hercules: You okay?
        Meg: I'll be fine. Just get me down before I ruin the upholstery.
  • One of the two little boys says (actually a transformed Pain and Panic) yells, "Somebody call IX-I-I!"note 
  • Several moments from Hercules' battle with the Hydra, his second monster to fight:
    • The deep canyon where the events occur is revealed to be stadium-like cliffs, where the citizens of Thebes stand there like an audience.
    • Hercules after he finds his sword missing from his hands, landing behind him. Continuing the fight, Hercules hurls a stone slab at the Hydra, only for the beast to catch it in its mouth and crushes it into stones. After crushing the boulder, the Hydra even stops to laugh at the hero, taunting him. It's not just a mindless beast. It's a genuinely sadistic, evil creature that takes great enjoyment in the terror of its victims as well as the young hero's clumsy attempts at battle.
    • After swallowing Herc whole, the Hydra lets out a horrifyingly loud belch and then licks its slimy lips with a deeply satisfied expression, as if to say "That was good!" The Hydra reacts to a woman's scream by attempting to attack members of the audience. The hilarious Oh, Crap! look it gets when Hercules cuts his way out of its throat is also pretty funny.
    • Having cut his way out from inside the Hydra, Hercules staggers out covered with green slime. Swaying on his clumsy feet, Hercules tries to sheath his sword, only to drop it on the ground, before he himself collapses. Hercules tells Phil, "That wasn't so hard." It comes across as Tempting Fate at its finest as the monster grows more heads later. When Phil asks how many horns he sees, a dizzy Herc sees triple and his answer is "Six?"
    • Phil's face when the Hydra growing three heads, with his reaction is giving Herc his sword.
      Phil: [sees the Hydra's corpse twitching] That doesn't sound good. [The Hydra gets back on its feet, grows three more heads and starts moving towards them] DEFINITELY NOT GOOD! [hands Herc his sword and runs]
    • Hercules' desperate struggle against the Hydra. One head gave him enough trouble, but the Hydra is more difficult after it first revives. After the monster grows three heads, Herc flees before Pegasus picks him up. After Herc slices the Hydra's heads off, with more and more heads appearing after each cut, a look of pure horror on Herc's face as he stares down a massive forest of snarling Hydra heads. Even Phil and Herc's following comment probably can't erase the creepiness of that particular image.
      Phil: WILL YOU FORGET THE HEAD-SLICING THING?!
      Hercules: Phil, I don't think we covered this one in basic training!
    • Hercules rapidly slips and slides down a spiral of one of the Hydra's necks until one monster head bit into the neck of another and flung Herc high into the air. Prior to this, Herc yells to Phil that he didn't think they covered this in basic training.
    • Immediately after, Hercules manages to fling himself towards a cliff. The Hydra's entire forest of heads, which had a moment before been a chaotic mess of shrieking and hissing faces, pauses and gives a mildly confused "hmmm?" as they all turn to watch the hero fly through the air.
    • The surprised and gobsmacked looks on the Hydra's faces, accompanied by a confused "nyeer?" noise, right before Herc punches the cliff down on them.
  • The "Zero to Hero" sequence:
    • The Swedish dub of "Zero to Hero" mentions MTV by name.
    • In a part where Hercules's face is on amphora, Clio hits Thalia in the head with a stick for mispronuncing the word "vase". Thalia gets angry and slams the vase on Clio, causing to get her head stuck inside it.
    • Herc shoots an arrow at the Erymanthian Boar. In the space of a couple seconds, its expressions changes from "RAWR!" to "Oh, man, this is really gonna hurt..."
      • And then there's the urn that appears afterwards - with the boar cooked and served up on a platter (complete with an apple in its mouth), and Phil standing off to the side with a bib, plate, and fork.
    • Herc defeating one of the Stymphalian birds...by locking her in a giant birdcage. Her disgruntled You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me! look is what really sells it.
    • Amphytrion and Alcmene, still living in their little farmhouse...but with a giant mansion built onto the back. And a solid gold chariot on the front lawn.
    • The various shots of Hades' frustration and fury as Herc tackles everything he throws at him without even breaking a sweat, finishing with a Head Desk.
    • Herc defeating the Minotaur, Medusa and a gryphon with one punch each (and he straight-up Shoryukens Medusa), making them all land in a pile.
    • Everyone going insane over Hercules. The Muses, Hades, the people! No one is safe from the Herc-itis!
  • "But, Father, I-I-I've beaten every single monster I've come up against! I-I'm the most famous person in all of Greece! I-I'm-I'm- I'm an action figure!"
  • "Phil, what's the point?!?!"
  • Hercules fought mythological monsters, but the sheepish-looking hero is no match for a mob of screaming fangirls that are fighting over him like animals. Herc struggles to get away from five of those fangirls, who knock him on the floor and walk all over his face and neck as Phil is beside him, plotting his escape. Ouch..
  • This glorious exchange after Herc and Meg's date:
    Hercules: And that play, that ''Oedipus'' thing... Man! I thought I had problems!
    • Genius Bonus on your Greek Mythology that Oedipus is Meg's cousin. Meg just had to watch her family drama on the big stage with her boyfriend which probably explains her half-hearted laugh.
  • While Megara tries to find out Hercules' weaknesses, she tries to flirt with him. First Meg puts her foot in front of Herc, then uses it to turn his head around, squishing his cheek in the process, so their eyes will meet. After she legs go, Herc has this dazed expression before he backs away nervously while Meg comes closer to him, talking about his trick knee or ruptured discs.
  • Megara backs into a Cupid (or would that be Eros?) statue. Specifically she pokes herself with his "love arrow". She notices this, and shows an expression of "does that mean what I think it means?" Look at it!
    • As Herc leaves he gives Meg a flower and kisses her on the cheek, leaving her with a face that's priceless as she touches the spot where he kissed her; then followed by "I Won't Say I'm in Love."
  • Hercules and Megara having their romantic moment ruined by Phil and Pegasus, the latter imitating a police helicopter and the former acting like a riot officer.
    Phil: Alright, break it up! Break it up! Party's over! I've been looking all over this town!
    Meg: Calm down, mutton man! It was all my fault!
    Phil: You're already on my list, sister, so don't make it worse!
  • Thalia the Muse is full of them, especially during the "I Won't Say I'm in Love" sequence, where she waves the flower at Meg and is ignored, she ends up dangling from the 'ceiling' the others have raised up (her yelp of surprise makes it even funnier), she's held up by the others right before the line "you (got) (got) got it bad," and how her head isn't attached to the rest of her bust, which results in her lounging on the column holding her own head while singing.
  • This exchange:
    Hades: I can't believe you're getting so worked up about some guy!
    Meg: [Hercules] is different. He's honest and sweet...
    Hades: Please.
    Meg: ...and he would never do anything to hurt me.
    Hades: HE'S A GUY!
    • Hades is also a guynote - sadly, Meg didn't light the fuse of that particular Logic Bomb.
  • "Uh, how can I come down there when I'm feeling sooo UP!" (Herc launches himself out of sight). Pegasus just looks upward like this is nothing new to him.
  • Hermes being captured by Pain and Panic. And later when he gets his revenge on them.
    • Also Pegasus getting his revenge on Pain and Panic.
      Pain: [begging for Pegasus to not hurt them] Nice horsey! My intentions were pure! I really was attracted to you!
      [Beat down ensues]
  • When Hercules starts fighting the Titans, Pyros spews some lava on Hades in an attempt to get Herc.
    Hades: No, get HIM! Not me! Him! [Hydros goes after Herc, who flies by Hades] Follow the fingers, him! [gets frozen] The yutz...with the horse!
  • Hercules punching Hades' face inward when he's in the throes of a Villainous Breakdown. Funnier still, Hades calmly (and not without a chuckle in his voice) admits, "Well, OK, I deserved that."


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