Shirou and Saber discuss bras. It ends with this pronouncement. "Under no circumstances shall I wear any underwear that is not picked by Shirou." Cue Shirou desperately trying to flee... And then, well, Shirou fleeing the scene and Saber chasing after him. And Sakura and Rider heard the whole thing. And all this caused by Rin.
Lancer meets the Track and Field club. Hilarity Ensues. Highlights are when he completely fails to come up with something sexy to say to Saegusa. "You're the drudge."
Then, they ask what sport he does. "Javelin Throw".
Shirou: That's not "smooth"... that's harassment! Lancer:...What's that? Weapon? Food? Shirou:...... [narrating] I am now explaining the concept of sexual harassment to a hero of mythological times. This is too much. It's almost as impossible as explaining what Internet is to Tohsaka. And if I do try, I'd probably be taken for a clown.
Saegusa: Javelin throw... so that's like what Kubota-kun does on our team. Himuro: Oh? You look like you'd be pretty good at that. What is your record? Shirou: [to himself] Speed of about Mach 2, and distance of around 40 km...
Shirou: [realizing that Lancer is actually getting his way with the ladies for once] [narrating] Congratulations, Lancer. Clapping softly, I get up from the bench. And I'm sorry, Lancer. This hunting session... Heavens may forgive you, but I will not...! [cockblocking ensues]
The icing of the cake is when Shirou advises Himuro about what to do if Lancer starts acting funny: find an excuse to feed him some hot dogs and make sure to say how they're named afterwards. Trolling and a nice reference to Celtic Mythology all wrapped into one snarking package:
Shirou: [narrating] So. No more than ten minutes later, I'm still sitting on the bench, basking in the sun. Lancer: Kuaaaaaaaaah! Wha-wha-wha-what did you feed meeeeee!? Shirou: [without missing a beat] A refreshing scream resounds throughout the clear sky. Kicking up a dustcloud behind him, Lancer runs toward the port with a speed matching and beating that of a raging bull.
Yet another Bad End...Shirou can reveal to Saber that Shirou trained with Rider. She gets ANGRY
Saber and Rider discuss cooking. It ends in almost restarting Heaven's Feel.
Saber: Shirou. I'd like to try on this swimsuit. Will you tell me how it looks?"
Option A: A little lie can save a life
Option B: Hope for the best, plan for the worst
Shirou and Saber go on a swim date to the water park. The Funny Moments begin when Saber reveals that, being King Arthur, she is able to WALK on water... But not SWIM in it. Cue Shirou DUNKING A HEROIC SPIRIT into the drink, and then spending the rest of the stay there obliviously embarrassing her as she keeps getting reminded of why she fell in love with him.
Shirou and Saber then meet Archer, and as Shirou and Archer immediately begin hating on each other, Lancer teases Saber. Doesn't end well for him.
And how does the entire thing end? Shirou accidentally beats Saber in a swim race without thinking, forgetting to his horror that Saber is a VERY Sore Loser. Cue 30 laps of swimming hell and Shirou swearing that he'll never forget this ever again.
'My muscles are screaming in agony, my endurance sapped to rock bottom. I'm sure a vital part of me died on the inside that I'll never be able to get back.'