The opening couplet from the first Oompa-Loompa song: "Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop!/The great big greedy nincompoop!"
Veruca Salt isn't impressed by the stated effects of Hair Toffee. "Who wants a beard, for heaven's sake?" Mr. Wonka notes "It would suit you very well" before changing the topic. Particularly funny in the 2013 audio book, owing to Douglas Hodge's delivery of the Stealth Insult (almost under his breath).
Mike asks Mr. Wonka if other things could be transported via Television Chocolate, such as breakfast cereal. Mr. Wonka is horrified by that prospect: "Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
Mr. Wonka prescribes Mike "Supervitamin Candy" to fatten him up once he's been stretched back to his original height. Among the vitamins it contains is vitamin Wonka, which will "make his toes grow out until they're as long as his fingers..." Mrs. Teavee is horrified even as he points out "It's most useful. He'll be able to play the piano with his feet."
In the last Oompa-Loompa song, they admit that tossing out the TV set and giving kids books to read instead won't produce instant results, and that parents will have to put up with "all the dirty looks,/The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,/And children hitting you with sticks" for a while.
Also, this brief postscript to the Author Filibuster, which hadn't mentioned Mike at all:
P.S. Regarding Mike Teavee, We very much regret that we Shall simply have to wait and see If we can get him back his height. But if we can't — it serves him right.
In the 2002 audiobook read by Eric Idle, Idle manages to stretch Grandpa Joe's first "Yippee!" (when he realizes Charlie's found a Golden Ticket) out a good five seconds.
In the 2013 audiobook, Douglas Hodge manages to make characters like Mrs. Gloop, Mike Teavee, and Violet Beauregarde even funnier than they are as written simply with the voices he assumes for the roles — especially Violet's, owing to an impressive aversion of Larynx Dissonance in order to make her The Ditz.
2005 Film (Note: Depp!Wonka gets at least one funny moment per major room, and often between rooms)
Grandpa Joe tells Charlie about how he was a "much younger man" working in Wonka's candy shop 20 years earlier... in the resulting flashback, he looks exactly the same as he currently does. (Of course it wasn't too long ago, since he's supposed to be about 80 years old at present time.)
Mike Teevee's introduction, and Grandpa George flipping out.
Even funnier? Douglas Hodge, who originated the role of Willy Wonka in the 2013 stage musical, played Titus Andronicus — another gruesome pie-maker — at Shakespeare's Globe in 2006.
Mr Salt commenting that the Oompa Loompas' number felt rehearsed. Just imagine what happened off-camera. It might be something like this: "OK, let's practice for when those nasty children meet their demise. Augustus will be first to go, down the river . . ." and so on and so forth. (Indeed, Robot Chicken did a skit about the Oompa-Loompa writer's room in the Season Six episode "Immortal"; while it's specifically parodying the 1971 film, it needs little tweaking to apply to other versions.)
Willy Wonka tries to relate to today's kids when explaining Hair Toffee: "It's in the fridge, daddy-o! Are you hip to the jive? Can you dig what I'm layin' down? I knew that you could. Slide me some skin, soul brother!"
Violet's blueberry transformation is funny in all kinds of ways:
Mrs. Beauregarde: What's happening?
Willy Wonka: Well, I told you I hadn't quite got it right, 'cause it goes a little funny when it gets to the dessert. It's the Blueberry Pie that does it. I'm terribly sorry! [shudders, then yelps and ducks for cover]
Violet Beauregarde: Mother, what's happening to me? [continues to turn purple and starts to grow]
Grandpa Joe: She's swelling up!
Charlie Bucket: Like a blueberry! [Violet swells up to a blueberry that is about ten to twelve feet in diameter. As she's maxing out....]
Willy Wonka: I've tried it on, like, twenty Oompa-Loompas and each one ended up as a blueberry. It's just weird.
Mrs. Beauregarde: But I can't have a blueberry as a daughter! How is she supposed to compete?
Veruca Salt: You could put her in a county fair.
Willy Wonka:[wordless agreement]
Even more funnier is how in the one scene Wonka peaks up and watches Violet inflate, and in the next scene, he simply looks in disgust and sloooooowly goes back down.
When they reach the Nut Sorting Room, Mr. Salt mentions that he's in the nut business as well and instinctively hands Wonka his business card. Wonka takes it and throws it away without looking at it all in a single motion while Mr. Salt obliviously continues talking. As if this wasn't quite enough by itself, Wonka's response is to laugh uproariously and tell Mr Salt how weird he is.
Veruca wants a squirrel. Wonka says no. And then perfectly imitates Mr Salt's voice just to mock the both of them. (Also a Moment of Awesome.)
The Puppet Hospital and Burn Center. It's relatively new.
And, as the impetus for that Brick Joke, director Tim Burton burning "It's a Small World" in effigy. The setup scene in itself is hilarious. The bright and colorful singing puppets are awesome, then the show ends when the pyrotechnics fail, causing the show display to burst into flames and grind to a halt. As the group looks on in confusion, the camera pans across them slowly to reveal Wonka standing at the end, applauding wildly. "I was worried it was getting a little dodgy in the middle part, but then that finale...wow!"
And why wasn't Wonka on stage for the puppet show when he was clearly supposed to be? "Well, I couldn't very well watch the show from up there, now, could I, little girl?"
The bit where young Wonka is walking past lots of flags like he is traveling the world, only for it to then be revealed that he's just in the flag room of the local museum.
The throwaway gag of one of the Oompa-Loompas watching The Oprah Winfrey Show as the tour group arrives in the television room.
One of the faithfully-adapted running gags from the book: Whenever Mike Teavee points out some logical impossibility or absurdly circuitous process, Mr. Wonka accuses him of mumbling and then goes right back to pointing out impossible/impractical things.
How will they get Mike Teavee back to size?
Willy Wonka: Let's go put him in the taffy puller!
Mr. Teavee: Taffy puller?
Willy Wonka: (Offended) Hey, that was my idea!
After the Elevator ruins Charlie's house by crashing through the roof...
According to "When Veruca Says", the first thing she asked for after finally getting a Golden Ticket was North Korea!
When Mrs. Pratchett realizes that an Idle Rich Lovebird Couple's accidentally wound up at the dump, she calls out "Chocolate, (very expensive) chocolate!" and overcharges them for a few Wonka Bars. Then, when Charlie winds up with a stray pound note after they run off, she calls out "Chocolate! Only a pound!"
When the media, headed up by Cherry Sunday, descends on Charlie's home after he finds his Golden Ticket:
Jerry: Cherry, where are you?
Cherry: (brightly) Jerry, I'm in a shack!
When Charlie and Grandpa Joe arrive at the factory gate and are mobbed by the press:
Cherry: Charlie! The world's watching, is there anything you want to say?
Charlie: (in a voice barely above a whisper) Umm, how d'you do?
On that same token, Mr. Beauregarde's hilarious reaction:
Mr. Beauregarde: ...She exploded!
During the run to the Nut Room, the tour group passes several storerooms for unusual objects, all of which have their function: whips for whipping cream, turkeys for Turkish delight, and Scotch for...well, Wonka likes Scotch.
When Mike gets sent to the virtual world:
Willy Wonka (half-heartedly): Mike, no...
As Mike Teavee gets lost in the virtual world, the Oompa-Loompas perform an electronica-inspired song, "Vidiots", complete with funky lighting effects and video screens...and a heck of a Cryptic Background Reference gets brought up with but one line:
Willy Wonka: It's years since I've been to a rave!
Mrs Teavee's Genre Savvy nature returns as her son shows up on the computer screens.
Mrs Teavee: The little people are singing again. That's never a good sign.
She also sings and dances along with her son's exit song, more enthusiastically than even the Oompa-Loompas!
As "Pure Imagination" begins, there's a sweetly funny exchange as Wonka and Charlie board the Great Glass Elevator:
Willy Wonka: Let's hope this works, because I just invented it this morning...Push that button.
The Brick Joke during the first half of the curtain call: As Charlie Bucket takes his bow, a spotlight comes up on one of the boxes, revealing Willy Wonka cheering him on. He didn't waste a moment ingratiating himself into our world!