Funny / Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men."

  • The fact that the entire planet....all these adults, losing their minds over a contest involving chocolate.
    • And one of them was an infamous Nazi officer hiding out in Paraguay under an assumed name.
  • Everything involving Mr. Salt. Seriously, just watch Roy Kinnear's facial reactions to anything.
    "I can't take much more of this!"
  • Mr. Beauregarde's awkward reaction to Mr. Salt's business: "Nuts."
    • A bit of a Bilingual Bonus here. To a Brit, it's a perfectly straightforward answer, but to an American, it means "Get stuffed."
    Mr. Beauregarde: What kinda business you in, Salt?
    Mr. Salt: Nuts.
    Mr. Beauregarde: (Looks away awkwardly)
  • The entire scene with the team of programmers and their Golden-Ticket-locating supercomputer.
    "I am now telling the computer EXACTLY what it can do with a lifetime supply of chocolate!"
  • Any of the literary references or deadpan snarking:
    Mrs. Gloop: Don't just stand there! Do something!
    Wonka: Help. Police. Murder.
  • "My chocolate! My beautiful chocolate!"
    • Mike yelling "Man overboard!" when Augustus falls in.
  • The psychiatrist telling his patient the sooner he gets rid of the dreams, the sooner he gets well, the patient tells the psychiatrist his guardian angel told him where to find the golden tickets.
    Psychiatrist: And what did he tell you?
    Hofstetter: What difference does that make? This was a dream, a fantasy, I mean, you just said yourself—
  • You gotta love Wonka's funny literary quotes. The best part is, they were just added for the fun of it. Examples:
    "Where is fancy bred... In the heart or in the head?"
    "We are the music-makers..."
    "Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker!"
  • Mr. Gloop taking a bite out of a microphone.
  • After Veruca falls down the shaft.
    Willy Wonka: "She was a bad egg."
    Grandpa Joe: What do you know? Mr. Salt finally got his wish.
    Charlie: What's that?
    Grandpa Joe: Veruca went first.
  • When Wonka leads everyone to the Chocolate room.
    Wonka: You can't get out backwards. You gotta go forwards to go back. Trust me.
    Charlie: Hey, the room is getting smaller!
    Mrs. Teevee: No it's not, he's getting bigger!
    Mr. Salt: He's at it again.
    Mike: Where's the chocolate?
    Mr. Beauregarde: I doubt there is any chocolate.
    Mr. Salt: I doubt any of us are gonna get out of here alive.
  • "I've just decided to switch our Friday schedule to Monday, which means that the test we take each Friday on what we've learned during the week will now take place on Monday before we've learned it. But since today is Tuesday, it doesn't matter in the slightest."
    • Pretty much everything the teacher says, really. Ahem:
      Teacher: Well, I can't figure out just two! So let's pretend you opened 200! Now, if you opened 200 Wonka bars, apart from being dreadfully sick, you would have used up 20% of the 1000 Wonka bars, which is 15% half over again, 10%...
    • "Of course you don't know. You don't know because only I know. If you knew and I didn't know then you would be teaching me instead of me teaching you. And for a student to teach his teacher is presumptuous and rude, do I make myself clear?"
    • "Class dismissed!" "Class un-dismissed." "Class re-dismissed!"
  • "The suspense is terrible! (beat) I hope it will last."
    • The look on Wonka's face when he says that helps.
  • Very debatable, this exchange with Veruca and Charlie may qualify.
    Veruca: He's absolutely bonkers.
    Charlie: And that's not bad.
  • Right after the previous exchange between Veruca and Charlie, Charlie turns to see Mike eating something with a look that says "Idiot". Of course, no more than ten-fifteen seconds later... *BOOM*
    Mrs. Teevee: MIKE!!
    Mrs. Teevee: Your teeth!
    Mike: (dazed, blows smoke out of his mouth) Boy, that's great stuff.
    Wonka: That's exploding candy for your enemies. Great idea. Not ready yet, though. Still too weak. Needs more gel-ignite.
    • Keep in mind Mike was thrown on his butt when the candy went off.
  • Violet telling Veruca to shut up.
    Veruca: Hey, daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa. I want an Oompa Loompa right away!
    Mr. Salt: Alright, sweetheart. We'll buy one as soon as we get home, okay?
    Veruca: I want an Oompa Loompa now!
    Veruca: *Silent, then grumpily takes another bite out of her candy*
    • Also, the way Violet rolls her eyes while Veruca is demanding an Oompa-Loompa, as if thinking "Oh God, does this girl ever shut up?"
    • This exchange between Charlie and Grandpa Joe:
    Charlie: (about Violet) Why doesn't she listen to Mr. Wonka, Grandpa?
    Grandpa Joe: Because, Charlie, she's a nitwit.
    • In the audio commentary, Paris Themmen (Mike Teevee) goes to some effort to draw attention to this Brick Joke that no one ever seems to notice (Violet calls Veruca a nit and a twit before Joe calls her a nitwit), only to completely miss the punchline because people were talking about Denise's (Violet's) blueberry costume, instead.
  • Everything in Wonka's office is cut in half, for some reason.
  • Grandpa Joe's thoughts on Veruca during the arrival of the boat.
    Wonka: All aboard, everybody!
    Mr. Salt: Uh, ladies first and that means Veruca!
  • "Hey I don't like the look of that tunnel up there! Hey Wonka, I want off!"
    • "ROUND the world and home again! THAT'S the sailor's way!"
  • Veruca's reaction to the boat ride.
    Veruca: Daddy, I do not want a boat like this!
    • "What is this, a Freak Out!?!"
    • Even the horrific chicken beheading image gets a bit of humor:
      Mrs. Teevee: "Ugh...I think I'm gonna be sick...."
      (the chicken gets beheaded with a crashing gong sound effect)
      Mrs. Teevee: "*B'wwwaaaa!*...Now I am gonna be sick!"
    • Charlie and Grandpa Joe even enjoy it at first.
      Charlie: This is kinda strange.
      Grandpa Joe: Yes, it's strange, Charlie, but it's fun!
    • When getting off the boat, Mike and his mom have this exchange:
      Mike Teevee: "Now, why don't they ever show stuff like that on TV?"
      Ms. Teevee: "Ugh...I dunno...."
    • When Wonka is singing the song on the boat, Mr. Salt weakly joins in with "Rowing..."
    • Immediately afterwards, Mr. Beauregarde pushes past his daughter and the Salts to be the first one off the boat, then Violet does the same.
  • The whole Inventing Room scene prior to the Gobstoppers scene can be considered a Hurricane of Puns.
  • While everyone is cramped in the small space just outside the Chocolate room. Poor Augustus says this...
    "Let me in! I'm starving!"
  • The rich woman's husband is kidnapped, and the kidnappers are demanding a case of Wonka bars for ransom.
    Mrs. Curtis: What do they want? Whatever it is, they can have it!
    Detective: They want your case of Wonka bars.
    Mrs. Curtis: *doesn't answer*
    Detective: Mrs. Curtis, do you hear me? It's your husband's life or a case of Wonka Bars!
    Mrs. Curtis: How long will they give me to think it over?
    • Anybody else wonder what happened to the poor guy?
  • The South American man who claims to have the last Golden Ticket is Martin Bormann. He's come out of hiding in Paraguay just to get a tour of the chocolate factory.
  • Wonka plans to use his taffy machine on Mike:
    Mrs. Teevee: Uh, T-T-Taffy? (Oompa Loompa whispers to Wonka) Wh-What's he saying?
    Willy Wonka: (to the Oompa Loompa) No, no. I won't hold you responsible.
    (Mrs. Teevee suddenly passes out)
  • In this version, Violet's father is a used-car salesman, and uses every opportunity to plug his lot. Both times Violet has to tell him to pipe down.
    • Also:
    Mr. Beauregarde: ...I got a blueberry for a daughter.
  • About the Wonkamobile:
    Charlie: Is it fast?
    Grandpa Joe: It should be, she's got more gas in her than a politician!
  • The scene where the entire group is trapped within the tiny black and white room, specifically
    Veruca: (her tomato red face squished between the wall and Mr. Beauregarde's torso) Let me out or I'll scream!
    • The interaction between Mrs. Teevee and Grandpa Joe when the former complains about the latter's hand on her shoulder. The look on her face is absolutely priceless.
    • Amidst the panic, Wonka simply stands in the mob and muses aloud, "Is it my soul that calls upon my name?"
    • Mrs. Gloop: ...Help Mr. Wonka, Help! I'm getting squashed! Save me!
    • During the whole scene, Wonka bangs on the walls trying to find the "other" door. He continues banging until he "finds" it, the same door they came in.
    Mr. Beauregarde: That's the way we came in!
    Wonka: (confused) It is? Are you sure?
    Mr. Salt: We just gone through there!
    Wonka: (casually leans on the door) Well how do you like that—?
    (The door swung open, revealing a whole other room. The guests groans and complains.)
    Mr. Salt: What is this, Wonka? Some kind of fun house?!
    Wonka: ...Why? Having fun?
  • When everyone first notices Augustus drinking from the river:
    Charlie: Grandpa, look at Augustus!
    • Looks like he might try, cause he appears to be drinking a bit faster as everyone crowds near him.
  • During Veruca's song, Wonka just stands there, not reacting when she throws some wrapping around him, then face palms and shakes his head as she continues on her tirade, clearing thinking "maybe this contest wasn't such a good idea."
    • And then she falls through the shaft.
    • Veruca composing herself in her song after excitedly yelling, "..and I DON'T want to share them!", which is pointed out in the DVD commentary.
  • In a running gag all the kids including Charlie give in to temptation and each one except Charlie pay the penalty. Augustus Gloop gets sucked to the fudge room, Violet's pigment changes to the color of the same name and is the size of a beach ball, Verruca Salt goes down the garbage chute and Mike shrinks to the size of a mouse. Plus the Oompa-Loompas sing about each kid's demise.
  • Grandpa Joe despite being bedridden for 2 decades somehow manages to walk and run about like he was 50 years younger.
  • Despite being a minor character Violet's father arguably says both one of the funniest lines in the film and cinema history.
    "You're turning violet, Violet!".
    • Also this little dialogue as Violet's face started turning color:
    Mr. Beauregarde: What happened to your face?
    Violet: Cool it, dad! Let me finish!
  • While Mike Teevee is taking his turn to sign the contract:
    Mike: Saw this in a movie once. Guy signs his wife's insurance policy. Then he bumped her off.
    Wonka: Clever...
  • Wonka meeting the four brats. He starts out being pleasant to Veruca but by the time he gets to Mike he can barely hide his distaste. His patience lasted all of ten seconds and he spends the rest of the movie snarking at them.
  • While people are trying to interview Mike Teevee, he's trying to watch TV.
    "Can't you shut up? I'm busy!"
  • This exchange after Willy Wonka gives Mrs. Teevee rainbow drops:
    Wonka: Suck them and you can spit in seven different colors.
    Violet: (picking her nose) Spitting's a dirty habit.
    Wonka: I know a worse one.
    • Fun fact: Denise Nickerson was extremely reluctant to do that scene, as she didn't find it ladylike and she was trying to impress Peter Ostrum.
    • At the start of the boat ride, Veruca says she wants a boat just like this. Grandpa Joe leans to Charlie and whispers "What she wants is a good kick in the pants."
  • Mike sees the television cameras outside of the factory and gives a shout out to his hometown. He then says hi to Billy, Maggie and Fishface.
  • The reporter after the fourth Golden Ticket is found.
    "Four down, and one to go. And somewhere out there, another lucky person is moving closer and closer to finding the last of the most sought after prizes in history. Though we cannot help but envy him, whoever he is, and we might be tempted to be bitter in our losing, we must remember there are many more important things, many more important things. (beat) Offhand I can't think of what they are, but I'm sure there must be something. And now for tomorrow's weather and-"
  • During the initial Wonka-Mania montage, there's a shot of a Wonka truck delivering chocolate bars to the White House. The president in 1971 was Richard Nixon. Just the idea of Nixon trying to find a Golden Ticket is funny in its own right.
  • Relating to the gum machine, a very bizarre contraption in and of itself.
    Wonka: I have something rather special to show you.
    Mr. Salt: Well, it's special, alright. I only hope my Veruca doesn't want one.
    • Once it's working, Mr. Salt watches a scoop that's dumping sugar into a cone. He leans forward to get a look inside...right before another scoopful gets ready to drop right on his head.
    • Violet sticking her finger into a section that's mashing tomatoes.
    • Grandpa Joe's expression at the honeybees.
  • Veruca and Violet elbowing and clawing at each other during "Pure Imagination." This was something that the actresses themselves added to the scene.
  • Mike Teevee's interview. He laments that his Colt .45 isn't real and asks his dad when he's gonna get a real one. His dad's response?
    "Not 'til you're twelve, son!"
    • Incidentally, that one line... took some forty takes to film.
  • Mrs. Salt's only line in the film.
    Mrs. Salt: (knowingly) You're going to be very unpopular around here Henry if you don't deliver soon.
  • The way Violet flaps her hands when the Oompa-Loompas begin moving her, as if to say “Get away, you little orange freaks!”
  • Grandpa Joe getting his hat taken right off his head by the hat-hangers, his facial expression after also sells it.

  • Word of God that the actresses who played Veruca and Violet both had massive crushes on the actor who played Charlie and as such, were somewhat antagonistic towards each other competing over him; the director loved it and used it in the movie.
    • When Julie and Denise reminisce about how the runner-up got the assistant director's son, who played Bobby Goff, Paris sarcastically adds "he's dreamy!"
  • Julie Dawn Cole stated the reason her arms are clamped to the side when she does down the chute, besides the obvious safety ones, was that a very handsome 16-year-old assistant was assigned to catch her below, and Julie was protecting her dignity as much as she could since she was in a dress.
  • Paris Themmen (Mike Teevee) was the youngest and most immature of the child actors, much to the annoyance of nearly everyone during filming. At one point, Gene Wilder was asked in an interview how he was getting along with the children, to which he replied "Oh, four of them are great, and one of them [Paris] I'm going to shoot in the head tomorrow."
    • In the DVD commentary track, an adult Themmen cheerfully comments that what you see on the screen was pretty much how he acted in real life.
  • The story of how the ending was written, as told in the DVD documentary. Director Mel Stuart hated the last line Dahl wrote (Grandpa Joe saying "Yippee!"), so he halted production until he could get in touch with their other writer David Seltzer, who was on vacation fishing at a remote cabin in the woods in Maine. Stuart managed to get him on a pay phone and demanded he write a new closing line; when Seltzer asked him when he wanted it, he shamelessly insisted, "Now! I want it now! Like in the song 'I Want It Now'? I want it now!" (The line Seltzer gave him on the spot over the phone is the one we see in the film!)
  • A deleted scene, which was filmed but not included, featured a mountain climber visiting a Himalayan guru and asking what the meaning of life is. The guru requests a Wonka bar, opens it, and upon seeing it has no ticket, he says "The meaning of life is disappointment."