In the "You're a Dirty Rotten Bastard" episode the Critic is at first shown to be an anchor around the necks of his compatriots. However, when you think about it, his life is shown to be worthwhile because his presence in the timeline saved all of Canada from being wiped off the map. Also, The Nostalgia Chick's happy marriage was shown in the bloopers to be a sham, Ask That Guy is clearly a Stepford Smiler who has to rely on nice customers to get his hookers and Spoony!Critic is batshit insane.
Of course none of them are truly happy: they're all still terrible people, plagued by the same vices.
An alternate interpretation: Who's to say that it wasn't a story created by Santa Christ? He did open and close the episode like he was reading a book, he has more than enough reason to hate the Critic, it was never mentioned again and nearly everyone was out of character. Their interaction later in Care Bears II also supports this, as Santa Christ seems a lot colder.
That would explain why Critic doesn't seem to recognize Malachite as "Roger the Angel": here, there's no case of You Look Familiar because it isn't in the same continuity.
Or! We know God Is Evil in the That Guy with the Glasses universe. What better way to fuck with an often suicidally lonely Cosmic Plaything who's prone to blasphemy than to make him think everyone would be much better off without him? If another contributor did it, He'd probably do the same thing to them.
OR! The angel was just insane and looking for a way to get himself promoted quickly and thought no one would miss the Nostalgia Critic, subconsciously making 'better' futures and showing them off to the Critic.
That makes sense. It's been revealed that Roger exists in the same continuity (when Critic encounters him in a later episode, Roger remembers being killed by him), and it's pretty obvious that's he's both a total dick and rather unstable. The fact that Roger looks exactly like Malachite could be chalked up to a side effect of the Plot Hole.
In the My Pet Monster/"Commercials Special" two-parter, it wasn't particularly an attack from the director that did him in but his own self-loathing. The guy just asked him a few armor-piercing questions and pitied him, Critic was the one to call himself pathetic, not a man, weak, a loser, wallowing in make-believe, etc. Dude's got pretty epic self-esteem issues.
In the Captain Planet review, he says that a crowd can be led to believe child birth was bad and said an understatement of Hitler being a dork. Those were episodes in the actual show about human overpopulation and time traveling to stop Hitler, respectively.
It was really clever of him to put Follow That Bird before Saved by the Bell. In the former, we got some really sweet innocence for the first time and his adorable shout of "YOU ARE CHILDHOOD!". What did we get in the latter? The episode where we start to get hints that his younger life was nightmarish, beginning with a "psycho" Stalker with a Crush.
Many people would normally consider the use of a Running Gag to be annoying at best, or unprofessional at worse. But such a gag can often be a Call Back in its own way to an earlier funny moment, to a different old show or old movie they watched a long time ago, remembering an old joke used in a similar way, which is often... nostalgic. Enjoy that.
Getting obsessed with small stuff and bringing it up constantly (in, say, a twenty minute review) is a realistic sign of OCD.
After a certain review, people complained about him not being as angry as they wanted him to be and talking a bit more calmly about what the movie did wrong or right. What was this review? The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, the one that even Doug says was the worst movies he's ever done. Makes sense that he understood that no other film could match up.
In the "Top 12 Christmas Specials", despite all the warm fuzzies, there was still a bit of foreshadowing about the whole Abusive Parents thing. Notice how he says the best time is when you're spending it with your "loved ones", not "family" like most people would think.
Similarly, his belief in "Top 11 Dumbest Superman Moments" that adults need to obtain a license before they can be a parent has a whole new meaning when you know it's been taken from experience.
One could wonder why does Nostalgia Critic not want to review Tentacolino. Considering the size of the Jńgermeister bottle he had in The Legend of the Titanic, he'd have a hard time to find a bigger one.
A possible explanation for how different a character he was at the beginning - he was trying to invoke Testosterone Poisoning: lower voice, not much respect for women, more Vulgar Humor jokes, homophobic tendencies... his adorkable love for Sesame Street is what pushed him on the way to act more like himself.
While the Critic is usually very good at impressions, to the point where some of the voices he does are practically indistinguishable from the original, when he narrates as Morgan Freeman in The Pebble and The Penguin, he doesn't sound a thing like Freeman. Why? Because only Morgan Freeman can do that voice.
With his parents being such horrible people and his school life being equally horrid, it might seem weird that he's not crazier and nastier than he is. But his granddad was crazy yet seemed a nice Cool Old Guy that Critic appears to think fondly of, so it's likely he got his almost-decency from him.
Another nice bit of heartwarming: the grandfather liked to call himself Vanessa, both Critic and Ask That Guy are obsessed with that name and use it for any female character they can. He's probably dead by now, so they're honoring his memory as the only family member who gave them actual unconditional love. Aww!
Of course he would beat the shit out of an interviewer who spun bullshit that he was a Spoiled Brat who had a cozy childhood.
He's so broken by the thought that he has no power or control over anything, but he does really. In the anniversaries, he might be thought of as irritating and crazy (and of course he is), but they do still follow him freely. He just can't seem to realize it.
In the beginning of his other Titanic review, Darth Vader is a perfect character for the Critic to play as. A kinda tragic Anti-Villain, a Papa Wolf, a Bad Boss who is nevertheless still subservient to plenty of people, and really is a waste of space but still wants to do good things.
In the Story Arc for Superman, I was a little irked by his noting that Lois felt like she got no attention despite her very tiny skirt. But then I realized it's all just attention to him, good or bad. This is the guy that went back to Spoony even after he was traumatized after all.
Same thing goes for his confusion as to why Satine would want more out of life in Moulin Rouge!, when most sane people would understand that being a prostitute (no matter how much you glamor it up) would suck. She gets "love", money, sex and all the attention in the world, he'd be in heaven in his perception of her position.
And serves as an explanation why child actors are the exception to his "protect every kid ever" rule. Doug confirmed on the commentary that Critic has no clue how they're really treated or how much work they put in, he just sees the glamorous attention they supposedly get and so stews in his jealous misconceptions.
Even though the Critic/Critic thing in Suburban Commando is a silly argument, "you have no idea what I'm going through", "I've worked very hard to get where I am today", "don't act like you're king of the universe all the time" are all pretty good reminders of his problems.
He has an electroshock therapy machine. According to The Other Wiki, "ECT is most often recommended for use as a treatment for severe depression that has not responded to other treatment, and is also used in the treatment of mania and catatonia", all of which he's shown signs of.
A few people have expressed ickiness about how gleeful he is about lead dogs dying in movies, but let's look at this in steps: in Battlefield Earth he says that talking to his dog would be freaking cool. Sixteen episodes later, in A Troll in Central Park, he's angry that the movie's "wish and anything will come true" message might teach kids that wishing will get their parents back together or bring their dog back to life. His hate of cutesy animal leads and wanting them to die only started eight episodes later in Zeus and Roxanne (four episodes later in ''ID4'' if you count his sarcastic joy about Boomer surviving). We know he's a vindictive brat, so it's almost certain that he's taking his grief out on the characters.
When he complains about the creepy rapey fem-bot scene in Star Chaser, his main focus is that children will be watching this and get disturbed. The rape aspect of the case never seems to enter into his mind, so he's able to dodge making himself look like a hypocrite. (See all the Spoony entries.)
He appears to have a fair few identity issues (all those Captain Obvious comments about being white and male, crossdressing but feeling embarrassed, being raised as a girl for a short time but owning testosterone pills), and God knows we've all seen his insecurity about his job. His main Catch Phrase is "I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to," i.e who he is and what he does. Now put all those together and doesn't that line sound like he's reassuring himself?
He says in Child's Play II that he's always wanted to hear the version where they all live happily ever after. Why would he say that when he usually wants children to learn actual good stuff? Well, the story involves parents tricking their kids into hopeful death cos they can't take care of them and a witch who seems nice but really wants to kill them. With his situation, kid!Critic would probably be terrified.
In his review of Digimon The Movie with JesuOtaku has both her and Angry Joe mistaking his JO signal in the sky for a JOE signal. With Joe, it's plausible, but why would JO make the same mistake? Because she knows Critic is dyslexic.
There are a few odd OOC bits in Baby Geniuses II, like calling the acting babies being ample reason for committing violence towards children, or forgetting he has a fuckton of issues. But then we find out he faked being in a coma to get out of paying for a hotel room, and sounds pretty proud of himself for pulling it off. So? He was invokingOOC Is Serious Business.
In Junior, a few people were confused as to what Critic's "crimes against humanity" were. But remember, this is the Critic's dream, and we all know how low on self-esteem and high on self-importance he is.
A lot of people were wondering about the mass increase in his cameos and crossovers the past year. Turns out, it was Foreshadowing for the ultimate crossover: between his past, present, and future self in the ScoobyDoo review.
It was probably also because he was ending the show soon, and so made sure to get them over with before then.
The entire Scooby Doo review revolves around the past, present and future. When the Critic comes out to play poker, who's there? 80's Dan, the Ghost of Christmas future and Rob as a dinosaur. Why these characters? 80's Dan is a guy stuck in the past. Rob is at present a dinosaur. The Ghost of Christmas Future. Playing cards with them shows the Critic is at peace with the past, present and future.
After To Boldly Flee, another reason for his love for the original version of The Haunting (1963) emerges. In the movie, Nell is a Broken Bird who is desperate to feel wanted, and she willingly dies because staying in the house lets her be needed by someone. In TBF, Critic hits the Despair Event Horizon because he thinks he's nothing but a waste of space, and willingly sacrifices himself because becoming the universe would mean he actually has a purpose. They sound similar, don't they?
The Nostalgia Critic wasn't the only character to get his own send-off. In the Child's Play Part III review, Phelous trapped Casper in the Nostalgia Critic's toilet and he doesn't escape like the end of the first Child's Play review. It looks like Doug retired this character along with the Nostalgia Critic.
Back in December of 2011 Doug's computer got a virus and delayed his release of Disneycember and the Christmas episode. One would think that he could just hold onto that review and show it next Christmas, but seeing how he was planning to end the Nostalgia Critic in 2012 it makes sense why he didn't wait.
In the Son of the Mask review, Satan is told what shows his daughter had been watching; out of all the shows, he's most upset when he hears Thomas the Tank Engine. Who created Thomas? Reverend Wilbert Awdry.
The Plot Hole review of Twilight has him get the most angry at the moral, which he sees as "do nothing, sacrifice nothing, and you'll get rewarded". After his Heroic Sacrifice (plus all the misery he endured up to that point) and admission at the end that he never wanted to do this, just stay as the Plot Hole, no wonder it upset him so bad.
In his review of Santa Claus: The Movie, at the beginning it seems that Santa Christ risking his life to give him a Sega Genesis to Critic is hypocritical humor, but we must remember that Santa Christ has Resurrective Immortality .
In The Review Must Go on, Lindsey Ellis was adamant about Doug not resurrecting The Nostalgic Critic to the point of sending Nella to deal with him. In her Matilda review, it was established that Mara Wilson is seeking revenge against the Critic by destroying his ally. So, in addition to losing her "Nostalgic Monopoly", she has to deal with Mara Wilson going after The Nostalgia Chick.
His tangential disgust with the "winners fuck the prom queen" line from The Rock seems weird at first, especially with his new I Want to Be a Real Man personality. But remember what happened on his prom night? Of course that's going to slither through the shell when he's upset.
His becoming a South Park character in the Top 11 of the series episodes could be a leftover side effect of his time in the Plot Hole, a portal to other universes, being able to transform his composition a la his Muppet phase.
Critic's asshole behavior in the reboot and "The Review Must Go On" when he could have been best described as a snarkier version of Santa Christ while as the Plot Hole. Ma-Ti turned evil in the Plot Hole remember? He probably started off sweet and helpful universe too. Douchey's in charge now because he was already mean and awful.
Peter Soulless always wearing sunglasses makes a lot more sense when you remember the old saying "Eyes are the window to the soul." If Soulless' eyes are always hidden, then, metaphorically speaking, he really doesn't have a soul.
In "Why is Loki So Hot", the Nostalgia Critic misspells Woobie as Whoobie. Now the Critic has made spelling mistakes before, but since he had to look up the definition of the term in the video, it's to show that the Critic is unfamiliar with the term.
His claim that he sold his soul for a Zod impression seems to contradict the fact that the Nostalgia Critic and General Zod clearly have been established as two separate people, but it could be a reference to the Critic's To Boldly Flee review where he briefly does an impression of Zod that - for obvious reasons - sounds uncanny.
His review of Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie states that Thomas the Tank Engine moves his mouth more than Zordon in the film. Thomas the Tank Engine has moved to full CGI animation since 2009, wherein all of the characters now have moving mouths, so of course Thomas would move his mouth more than Zordon.
In the Les Miserable review, the people reviewing it have their seating arranged similarly to an average voting screen on sites like Rotten Tomatoes, IMDB, or even That Guy with the Glasses.Com to say what they thought of something, like a movie. Low scores to indicate that the person disliked or hated it are on the left (Oancitizen), high scores to indicate that the person enjoyed and loved it on the right (Paw), and the middle to indicate the person was indifferent or had mixed feelings (The Nostalgia Critic).
Also in the Les Miserables review, Rachel and Malcolm (as themselves) sing a song about how Sasha baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter are the two strange Brit actors that keep getting placed into weird situations only in order to bring a laugh to the viewer. If you remove the part about Cohen and Carter being Brits, you realize that Rachel and Malcolm were used for similar purposes up until now in the Nostalgia Critic reviews. They were there to play additional parts in what were mostly situations related to the movie being reviewed, they were only rarely involved in the plot, and were there most of the time "to shell out the laughs". Then again, the Les Miserables review was filled with jokes containing meta humor.
The reloaded reviews were heavily criticized for focusing more on racist, sexist and homophobic jokes than actually analyzing the movies. But while it's no excuse, the racism starts (followed by everything else) after a Mood Whiplash from Malachite killing a guy. Maybe, as the angst in the films grew, reloaded!Critic started remembering the trauma he had gone through and, as his old way of dealing got smashed in To Boldly Flee, got a new, worse Jerkass Fašade to combat it.
Santa Christ's screenplay about a group of people trapped in an elevator with the twist that one of them is Cthulhu does a reasonable job setting up the review of Devil. However, it becomes hilarious if you think about it at length. For one thing, Cthulhu is not, as the Nostalgia Critic claims "a lame supernatural element" but in the context of HP Lovecraft's original writings was actually a Sufficiently Advanced Alien, and though built up as something horrifying he is likely more or less indifferent to humanity so it seems odd he would take the time to kill off a group of people in an elevator. Also he was originally described as "a mountain" so he couldn't even fit into an elevator and there was never any indication that he could change shape, not to mention that whole thing about being trapped in R'lyeh until "The Stars are Right" which will mark a drastic change in civilization if not the end of the world as we know it. The thing is... regardless of whether Doug has actually read Lovecraft or was just going on the popularity of that particular character, Santa Christ's concept of Cthulhu being the killer would actually make even less sense than what was shown to happen in Devil.
He described The Christmas Tree as the worst Christmas special he'd ever seen. He said nothing about Life Day specials.
In his Batman & Robin review, mental health workers were looking after him, saving him from suicide and restraining him during his bat credit card freakout. But near the end you see him successfully sneak some tranquilizers without being forced to cough them up. It's likely that they were a prescription which would mean that the orderlies actually would ENCOURAGE him to take it.
The comment about not leaving home without his tranquilizers also was an obvious reference to the "never leave the cave without it" line after showing the infamous bat credit card.
The Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie review ends with Linkara defeating Moviebomb. Remember that the purpose of Moviebomb was to destory all possibilities for a rising franchise. With Moviebomb defeated, Power Rangers could bring In Space to it's fanbase, redeeming itself for Turbo's awfulness.
A lot of people including Kyle complain that the editorials (unless they're about depression or a top eleven) don't really give anything new, they're just Doug going through a thought process and that he usually negates his opinion right after, making the episode feel like a waste of time. But look at when this trend started; "Did Seinfeld Lie To Us" came right after "The Cat In The Hat", the episode where he sold his soul. A soulless person is going to have much less passion unless he's talking about something dark.
The Nostalgia Critic did not say, "(Hello!) I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to," in the reviews of Sharknado, Man of Steel, or The Purge. All three of those movies only came out in 2013, so he wouldn't need to remember them for us. In fact, he seems to be saying it less in the newer reviews. That's probably because a lot of the movies are more recent and less nostalgic, so he wouldn't have to remember those movies for us, either.
In his Top 11 Batman: The Animated Series episodes, The Critic tries to imitate many different Batman actors' voices. Though for George Clooney he just says in a normal voice "Hi, I'm George Clooney" one would initially assume he's just not worth imitating. But the fact is that Batman & Robin is so hated by the fanbase most fans prefer to think it never happened, so in turn, as far as the fans are concerned George Clooney was never Batman.
Alternately, he's saying that George Clooney just played himself.
In his Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer review, he makes mention at the start that his freakouts about Christmas scare people, and sure enough when the patch suppressing his freakout is removed he flips shit and has a major Freak Out that terrifies Tamara and Malcom. But looking back at his previous Christmas videos, his freakouts have never been too bad. They happened and were done in the space of a minute, but said patch had been repressing it this year, so of course the freakout was big. He had no time until the end to just give out a giant freakout and be done and over with it so he could move on with the holidays.
He also has actually scared people the past few years with non-Christmas related things, so Malcolm at least thinks he needs to repress all that.
What did Black Willy Wonka mean by "darker"? Dark City, of course. Normally this would just be ordinary foreshadowing, but the significance is never made clear in the review itself.
In his X-Men review, the Critic argues the uselessness of arguing why someone should review something someone else did already. He then says that at least he didn't rip off the Chick and do a Dark Nella saga with Rob... until Dark Rob enters! ...but in order for him to do that... he would've had to... kill his own brother!
"It's prom night all over again!" Make your own conclusions, people.
Cynical manchildren don't tend to give a shit about prom and we know from his commercials special that he had such promise as a kid. Imagine a nicer, younger, more optimistic Critic looking forward to prom but waking up to a sleazy-and-proud-of-it guy who talked about him like he was a conquest. Ow.
Because we found it out after Spoony raped him and "all over again" is important here.
"Granted, I didn't grow up as a girl. At least, not for long. *beat* I have a history." That was a (still) funny, throwaway line from the NickComs review. Considering that we learned later that his parents were abusive enough to be drawn as monsters, the implications can be creepy.
Also something to do with his past: in crossovers, he nearly always has an argument with someone and acts like a complete brat. But then he just seems to cave for no reason and break down. Isn't that the behavior of an abused child? Give up very quickly so he wouldn't get hurt as much?
Way back in the Scariest Nostalgic Moments, he says he's going to stand up for himself (against the banshee) like that usually doesn't happen.
His comment about mouthing off to his Dad with "This is the nineties, old man" suggests as well as being the last time he ever did that, it was probably the first time too.
Also from the "Spooning With Spoony" series; watch the two episodes back to back. While still bad, at least the Chick was just a random lay that he didn't really care much for. The way he says the Critic's name... it sounds like he's really proud of this one. Add that to Spoony nonchalantly mentioning it outside of his SWS persona (the blackmailing in the "Captain America" review for example) and you start to get why Critic wouldn't care about killing him-inside-Insano in Kickassia.
It should really have been obvious from the first viewing, but in his "Commercials Special" he says "There's nothing left for me anymore." and then slumps over in his chair. Forgetting his He's Back moment right after, let's think about this. He would have killed himself. And this wasn't Suicide as Comedy, this was genuine giving up, can't deal with it anymore. The beginning gave the impression that he gets depressed a lot, so what happens next time he gets like this?
In his Commercials Special part two, he's wearing the same shirt and is actually relatively happy (if a little bit manic). But in the first one he said in the beginning "I do what I always do when I get depressed; I watch commercials." So what the hell happened this time?
His "nastie-wasties" speech was already creepy but I didn't get the mass-murder/suicide bit until a while later. So let's sum it up: he hates his reviewing life, he has no power and when he finally does...if it's taken away, there's a big part of him that would kill everyone and himself. Jesus Christ this guy is fucked up.
Doug says that in his "Cartoon Allstars" commentary that whenever Critic yells or looks angry, it's usually because whatever he's watching is scaring him. What mentally healthy person honestly gets scared that much?
So what did the stalker person do to him that's got him still scared? Judging by how bullied he was and how most people aren't fond of being broken up with three times, it can't have been nice.
Speaking of, how naive do you have to be to break up with someone three times in a row?
It could have easily been about another relationship, but his line about Domestic Abuse in his Top Eleven Batman Episodes seems to hint that it was abusive already and he kept going back. And we've seen him go back for more and be horrified with himself in the donation drive Spooning With Spoony.
On the topic of fear, while the Hostage Video might be Fridge Sexy to some, it looks like he was there for a while. With how terrified he was and how rough he was treated, just how long was he there for and what were they doing to him?
He's one of the worst kinds of drunk; Can't Hold His Liquor, crying easily, touchy-feely, even less common sense and can easily pass out. He "went drinking with the Spoony One". No wonder rapey!Spoony likes him so much.
In the Chick's review of TLC, he defends living with his mom because she's his world. This is a person who gets drawn as a monster when he was six, raised him as a girl for a short time and the best thing we've heard about her is that she helped him with getting bullied (which had to be at least caused by how she and Daddy Critic raised him) when he was a kid. I think we've got a pretty decent case of Stockholm Syndrome here.
And think back to all those times where he got himself killed or in trouble. She was in the house. She just doesn't give a shit about him.
In the beginning of the first Care Bears review, he stops complaining about having to watch it to reassure people that his job is the best in the world. Sweet, except the next thing that came up in the "canon timeline" was Kickassia. He was lying through his teeth, wasn't he?
I couldn't work my head around why he suddenly wanted power so badly that he would even go for murder-suicide if someone wanted to take it away from him. Then after a Archive Binge, it hit me, why wouldn't he want power when most of the time he seems to hate his job and his life? Look at the Full House review where he hopes the fans appreciate what he does for them, look at the review of The Care Bears Movie where he said how embarrassing it was. There's the amount of times he's quickly broken down crying after being an ass to the others and how he admitted to CR that he acts like a Bad Boss because he's ridiculously insecure (he even said that it was mainly because of Kickassia) and scared of people going into his territory. And then there's obviously how being told he's pathetic once has a major blow on his self-esteem making him not wanting to do his job anymore. Obviously it isn't an excuse on how he acted that week but still... poor Critic.
Okay, so he likes toppy women. Awesome. But liking them so much he's willing to be pretty much snuffed by psychotic ladies in prison doesn't exactly suggest Safe, Sane and Consensual relationships.
In his Alaska review, he mentions that the last time he mouthed off to his Dad (in the 90s) really was the last time he mouthed off to his Dad. Judging by how shaky he looks when he says this, it's hard to imagine he was just grounded or got a smack.
His reaction to a moment in Patch Adams that really angers him is to whip it with a belt. After all we've heard about his past, the idea that the reaction is from experience of being on the receiving end of such treatment is not all that unrealistic.
With that thought in mind, that guilty-slash-miserable expression in the "Top 11 Cereal Mascots" after he says his Dad still has AIDS, looks a lot like he's still scared of the retribution that would likely come from airing that little fact out in the open.
Where did he get that skull he occasionally drinks from?
More importantly, what is he drinking?
In the Nemo review when he gets rewarded for not making a Finding Nemo joke, listen closely and you'll hear him squeeing that's he's never been so loved. Boy needs a hug.
The Chick/Critic G-Rated Sex ending in "Now you're pregnant" in Ferngully is hilarious and shippy, but isn't it also rape? After she says it, he's screaming, crying and trying to get away while she's grinning and holding onto him tight.
And as a result, the also wonderfully shippy moment of her chloroforming then happily fondling him gets a little bit creepier. Especially as there's a heavy implication in the next episode that she's done this before (as when he sees the rag he instantly knows who did it) and she repeats the I Have You Now, My Pretty face when she's tied up Todd later on.
From The Pebble and the Penguin review, mixing Nyquil and Vicodin is a horrible idea and can kill you. From what we know about Critic's past, it's likely this was intentional at some point.
Also, he revealed in his Batman and Robin review that he carries around tranquilizers (which could either be some kind of opiate-based medicine like Vicodin or Percocet, or possibly a benzo-type medicine like Klonopin or Xanax). Those can be very addicting, so when the Critic freaks out, we could be seeing withdrawal symptoms.
At the beginning of his James and the Giant Peach review, he's just been allowed out of a high-security prison, his tie and jacket are missing, he thinks everyone hates him and he's a lot meeker than usual. He would make a suitable bitch.
And then there's giving "everything" to Sage in the Care Bears II review, which probably means he won't be having any fun after he dies. No matter how assy he can be, he's still a fundamentally good guy who doesn't deserve that.
And then there's the other meaning. Whether it's a case of desperation, being a bit of a ditz, mind control or all three, he would have done anything Sage wanted. Sage. He's very lucky he didn't get asked to do worse.
In his review of 'Son of the Mask', we see the real Satan; This means he gave all his money to Sage and tossed himself off a cliff for no reason, and this is Played for Laughs. Well, at least, his soul isn't in danger. Yet.
Let's just hope the grandfather that Critic had fond memories of wasn't the one who Ask That Guy said he'd Stuffed In The Fridge on his 90th birthday.
From his rant about kids having too much pressure on them in The Secret Of NIMH II, getting a meal when he got an A- and his homework always getting torn up by bullies, it wouldn't surprising if his ditzy tendencies came from his parents making him think he was an academic letdown.
In the Gordy review, the Critic responds to the idea that people can understand animals if they just "take time to listen", by trying to listen to his saucepan, which immediately starts yelling "FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!" Why is the pan so angry? Well... how would you feel if you were kept shut in absolute darkness almost your entire life except for once in awhile when you were set on top of a burning flame and filled with boiling liquid?
Crossing over with Adult Fear, he had a gun as a child. Yes he only shot his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles doll because he was scared of it, but any worthwhile parent would be having a fit.
Yet more from Spooning With Spoony II. Before going into "The Spocker", Spoony tells a basically catatonic Critic that he found the George Takei book and calls him a dirty, dirty man (i.e that he's a slut who wanted it). In a con, Doug-as-Critic was reminiscing about it dreamily, Critic drank with him again in the donation drive and was pretty much orgasming over the prospect of "The Spocker" in the Avatar group review. So... Spoony was right?
With the pills and drink he ingests, his tendency to piss people off, how Trigger Happy he is, the temper tantrums and the manic depression, it'll be a surprise if he even makes to fifty.
Once Upon a Forest has three The Internet Is for Porn jokes where the audience would rather go on that than watch his review. The first and third are blurred and of grown stars, but the second is a rather disturbing Freeze-Frame Bonus. It's a sex trafficking site, with a picture of a fifteen year old girl and the caption "make her suffer". Seeing as how he thinks just leaving a child alone is comparable to Hitler, you've got to wonder how much Critic loathes his audience.
He admitted in the Gordy review that he's exhausted. He was going to face Jaffers killing him with just a bit too much dignity. He gets close to Empty Shell state whenever he's BSOD-ing. He's been killing himself a lot less lately. His job issues still haven't gone. Maybe he's just given up and is living life out of obligation.
His not realizing that something was up with The Sci-Fi Guy could have been less ditziness and more getting distracted by someone being nice to him. We know from his conversation with Joe that his constant giving in to people has been on his mind lately and he made the decision to kill Guy when he found out they were about to review the same thing.
It needs a bit of background research, but he makes a comment in Judge Dredd about how he'd rather take the retirement homes he'd seen on 20/20 any day than the "long walk". So he'd rather be vulnerable and abused in horrible ways than be alone.
If we go with the theory above that the world was much worse if the Critic was never born and God just didn't want him to know that, Chester wasn't shown in the Christmas Special because he very probably froze or starved to death.
Why wouldn't Sage give off mass I Have You Now, My Pretty vibes (especially with the "I can't play with you if you're dead" bit) in the Starchaser review? After all, he probably still remembers Critic's promise to give him "everything" way back in Care Bears II.
Not to mention that there's a fifty percent chance he raped Critic in the "man-sandwich" with Spoony.
In Jack - hey Critic, perhaps if you'd asked about sex stuff and not just thought any boy who did was stupid, then maybe you wouldn't have been stalked or raped on your prom night?
Also from that episode, he complains ten year olds wouldn't want to sleep with their parents after a bad dream. He's right generally, but based on what he's said about his childhood, he probably knew he'd get hit if he ever asked.
If he's curious enough as an adult to phone up hotlines that he thinks are run by pedophiles, then imagine what he must have been like as a kid.
So how many people do you think died in his Quest for Camelot town-blowing-up tantrums? Or an even better question, how many children?
His "review" of High School Musical. This is not his video, this is a fan-made video put together from clips of his different reviews and scenes from the abovementioned movie. There is something very unsettling about the fact that anybody can take your words and do everything they want with them.
The main complaint the Critic had about The Odd Life of Timothy Green was that the parenting was abominable. This enraged Doug Walker so much when he saw the film that it prompted the return of the character just to rip that film the new one he felt it deserved. Remember how his experiences with bad parenting were and you'll see why he hates the movie that much.
Critic's Imagine Spots of Bay, Tina and Dawg were a nasty parody-like version of Demo Reel, as Bay was wearing Donnie's blue shirt, the Batman music, that they were director/actress/writer True Companions... and they were exactly what the three would hate to be like: Donnie, who desperately wanted to do good and treated affection like air, is a prissy martyr who can only make shit. Rebecca, who was sexualized against her will at an early age and wanted people to notice that she was smart, is a ditz whose only feature is her boobs. Tacoma, who was nice and intelligent and slightly granola, is just an offensive black stereotype.
Confirmed when you watch the Demo ReelTransformers episode. In that, Donnie wanted to pander to the Michael Bay crowd and tried to get Tacoma and Rebecca to join him. But they stood their ground, having obviously suffered racism and sexism and not wanting to be stereotypes, and he apologized for his ignorance. In Pearl Harbor however, Bay is treated as an innocent and Dawg and Tina are the stereotypes.
Who was such an awful partner for him that even his parents thought it would only end miserably?
Considering how important a character Ma-Ti is, the events of Captain Planet take place in the Channel Awesome universe. Now that Ma-Ti is dead and his ring nowhere in sight, there's no way to summon Captain Planet to fight off the eco-villains.
Captain Planet can be summoned with only some of the elements. However, without heart, he probably would have no conscience and would destroy mankind for being a threat to life on Earth.
In the review of Devil, Santa Christ says he's made bowls of oatmeal SCARIER THAN THE DEVIL HIMSELF. It's played as an insult, but considering his past, it would be totally in character...
Hyper Fangirl kidnapped Critic at the end of Small Soldiers. A week later, a narrator tells everyone that Critic is missing and terrified. A week later is Princess Diaries 2 in which we find out where they both are. That's two weeks, and she's batshit insane with no boundaries. What had been happening to him in those two weeks?
How does the Critic remember Spider Smith every time he appears when Smith killed the Critic in his first appearance?
Erm, he's immortal in the "yes, you can die, but you'll always come back and probably remember how you died" sense note which sounds pretty horrific in itself? I have no clue for why they're kinda friends, however.
That would also explain why he knows about It from his review of The Tommyknockers, since he died at the end of that one too.
Outright confirmed in the Phelous crossover where he shoots Phelous because he's upset about dying three times in twenty minutes.
His review of "Surf Ninjas" shows him being resurrected by Optimus Prime. I guess that's how he keeps coming back.
Turned out to be a recording, no need to get the guy's hopes up.
Plus, the first time Critic wanted to kill him for going into his territory, and the second time he was being molestily paranoid about Linkara. Would you really want to agitate him even more by bringing up a death that was partly his fault?