Three gorgeous women in the middle of a desert with a beaten, nearly naked man in the trunk of their hot rod. As each gets out of the car, there is a long, slow-motion lingering shot, starting at each woman's long, shapely legs, tight bottoms, sliding up to ample bosoms, and finally reaching their faces.
...thus begins Bitch Slap, a 2009 movie that had a very limited initial release, but made quite an impression at various film festivals and eventually made it to DVD release in March, 2010.
The makers of this film, alumni of Sam Raimi's Hercules and Xena franchises, sat down one day, between projects, and tried to think: "how do we make a movie that people will watch with a limited budget and using only day shoots?" The answer, of course, is to simply put sexy girls Hel (Erin Cummings), Trixie (Julia Voth), and Camero (America Olivo) in revealing outfits in the middle of the desert, then have them fight, flaunt, and fornicate their way through a convoluted, Troperiffic plot.
Of particular note here is the involvement of kiwi Action Girl stuntwoman and fight choreographer Zoë Bell. The producers again called in favors from their Xena: Warrior Princess days; she was Lucy Lawless's stunt double. Her influence and expertise is one of the things that elevates this movie from mere exploitation schlock to awesome exploitation schlock.
"Trope Slap":
- Action Dress Rip: Hel, the better to become a Kick Chick.
- Action Girl: Camero, Hel, Kinki, and Pinky.
- Amazon Brigade: The secret agent group, Flesh Force Foxy.
- Apocalypse How: There's a cannister of Nano Machines that will turn every living person on an entire continent into a gray paste.
- Pinky later implies it was all a hoax to get Hel and Camero in position to get her sword back.
- Ax-Crazy: Camero. Pinky, too.
- Bait-and-Switch Lesbians: There is a chance that Trixie might fall for the handsome cop in the end. In this movie? Fat chance.
- BFG: Hel's "K-14 Corsair rail gun... carbon fiber mounts... hellfire damping system... and Zion laser scope. " Also qualifies as an Impossibly Cool Weapon.
- Big Damn Heroes: Just when all appears lost, Deputy Fuchs emerges from the flames, weapon in hand, shirt half blown off, to save the day, and gets rewarded with a shuriken to the chest as part of the Twist Ending.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Trixie.
- Bittersweet Ending: True, everyone except Trixie and Hel die bloodily, and Trixie is revealed to actually be Pinky and she leaves Hel sobbing in the desert.... but Hel's not in a terrible position. There are, presumably, at least two functional cars in the near vicinity (Hot Wire and Kinki's, and Deputy Fuchs's) and the rest of Gage's cache seems to be untouched. And the nanomachines are missing, but not activated. At the least, she can get herself to safety (and solvency) if she hurries.
- Blonde, Brunette, Redhead: Trixie is brunette, Hel is redheaded and while Camero isn't blonde per se, she has the lightest hair.
- Boom, Headshot!: Gage.
- Camera Abuse: Camero kills Kinki with a machine gun, and paints the lens red in the process.
- Cast Full of Gay: Nearly every female character is obviously a lesbian. Well, Kinki is probably bi. We're not sure about the midget and the showgirl at the Glory Hole.
- Catfight: at one point during Camero and Hel's knock-down, drag-out brawl(s), there is, incongruosly, a cat's yowl out of nowhere.
- Catholic School Girls Rule: Kinki wears the tiniest Catholic schoolgirl outfit one can achieve and still cover the naughty bits.
- The Chessmaster: Pinky. To a lesser extent, Hel.
- Chivalrous Pervert: Deputy Fuchs, the cop that offers to help the ladies is revealed to be a big fan of Trixie's stage show. Up to that point, he's been merely a Clueless Deputy.
- Clothing Damage: In spades. Several instances simply result in more flesh being revealed from attacks that one would assume to be normally fatal.
- Cluster F-Bomb: Mostly Gage, but Hel, Camero, and Hotwire aren't that far behind.
- Combat Stilettos: Hel fights Camero in 'em. In sand, no less. Also see the entry under Improvised Weapon.
- Country Matters: Gage makes the mistake of calling Camero this; she breaks his hand with the car's trunk lid in return.
- Damsel in Distress: Trixie is portrayed as this. She's not.
- Dark Action Girl: Pinky aka Trixie.
- Depraved Bisexual: Kinki.
- Designated Girl Fight: Averted. ALL of the main characters are female, the fights between them are merely the baddest, nastiest, and most ridiculous.
- The Ditz: Trixie, up until The Big Reveal.
- Elvis Impersonator: Camero's dressed like this when she steals Gage's diamonds.
- Fanservice: And how! Just as an example of the lengths they go to for this trope, at one point the three leads have a five minute water fight, with water that's probably radioactive, in the middle of the desert, drenching all of them dressed, while they're worried that someone might be coming after them.
- Feet-First Introduction: The first thing we see of Hel and Trixie when they first exit the car is their legs. Served up with a healthy side portion of Leg Focus.
- Fiery Redhead/
Dyeing for Your Art: Hel. The "making of" documentary says that both the actress, Erin Cummings, and the producers separately came up with the idea that Hel should be a redhead, just before shooting. - Fire-Breathing Weapon: After losing her katana, Pinky/Trixie uses a flame thrower to finish off her Glory Hole opponents.
- Flashback Effects: The multitude of flashback sequences are obviously filmed on green screen, partially because it's cheaper for all those location shots, and partially because of camp value.
- Flashback Stares: Trixie and (occasionally) Hel.
- Flipping the Bird: Camero to the Mother Superior, after she's thrown out of the convent.
- Girl on Girl Is Hot: Trixie likes to watch women fight each other. Also
she likes other stuff, too. - Girls Behind Bars: How Camero and Hel first met.
- Girl with Psycho Weapon: Kinki's flying-guillotine yo-yo.
- Gratuitous Japanese: Much of Kinki's dialog, sans translation or even subtitles.
- Groin Attack: Performed on girls during fights (including one done solely by teeth).
- Camero shoots Gage in the 'nads. Through Trixie's minidress. While Gage is using her as a Human Shield.
- And then Camero shoots Trixie in the bare groin.
- Hot Wire punches himself in the 'nads, repeatedly, to stop one of his Hollywood Tourette's outbursts. And promptly regrets it...
- Guns Akimbo: Hel, during the Glory Hole shootout. Dressed as a Vegas showgirl, no less.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: Basically anything can set off Camaro
- The Handler: Mr. Phoenix.
- Hide Your Lesbians: Quite averted. This movie doesn't know the meaning of the word "subtext".
- Hollywood Tourette's: Hot Wire.
- Improvised Weapon: In a deleted flashback scene, Hel uses a high heel as a boomerang to disable a thug assaulting Trixie — and follows it with a Pre-Asskicking One-Liner "You need to work on your nurturing skills, Daddy-O."
- I Shall Taunt You: Pretty much everything Camero says to Trixie.
- Katanas Are Just Better: Pinky's sword.
- Kick Chick: Fight trainer Zoë Bell took advantage of Erin Cummings' real-life background as a cheerleader when choreographing the No-Holds-Barred Beatdowns.
- Lipstick Lesbian: Trixie. They're all pretty feminine, though.
- Lovely Angels: It starts off with Hel and Camero looking like they're going to be Lovely Angels. Things go downhill before that happens.
- Ludicrous Gibs: What happens when Camero kills a mook by shredding him with the rear wheel of her motorcycle. For extra added Gorn, said mook's girlfriend is drenched with his blood.
- Made of Explodium: The T-bird, when Hel shoots an RPG into it. Followed by Gage's trailer, when the gasoline canisters around it catch fire.
- Magnetic Weapons: Hel finds a rail gun under a trailer home.
- Male Gaze: The entire point, really. Girls and guns, what more does a man want?
- Minidress of Power: Hel and Trixie.
- Murder the Hypotenuse: Camero gets it in mind to resolve her issues with Hel and Trixie in this manner.
- Naughty Nuns: In a flashback, Camero hides out in a convent. Hilarity Ensues.
- Neck Snap: How Hel disposes of an opponent during one of the Foxy 69 flashbacks. For added Fanservice, his head's trapped between her thighs...
- Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant: Hot Wire. Mohawk AND cataract AND scars AND Hollywood Tourette's AND guns.
- Nipple and Dimed: Despite being one of the most Fanservicey movies ever made, there's only one shot of an actual, unclothed female nipple in even the Unrated Edition. Made up for with a whole lotta Amazing Colossal Cleavage shots.
- Non-Fatal Explosions: Almost to the level of Looney Tunes. Camero and Deputy Fuchs are both caught in massive explosions, but emerge with no visible damage other than charred clothing.
- Noodle Incident: For a long while, it looks like the Glory Hole incident was going to be noodle-y. Then the trope is averted in, ahem, glorious fashion when that particular flashback finally kicks in.
- Oh, Crap!: The expression on Hel's face when Trixie asks her how she knows so much about the BFG. Hel quickly improvises a story about how her dad was a CIA black ops team member in the 80's.
- Out-Gambitted: Hel, by Pinky.
- Overt Operative: Really, Hel isn't very good at hiding this whole secret agent thing.
- Peek-a-Boo Corpse: At one point, the girls think they've found the location of the treasure. Unfortunately, when they dig it up, it proves to be the butchered remains of Mr. Phoenix.
- The Plan: Pinky's master plan: have Mr. Phoenix send Hel undercover in the women's prison where Camero is rotting after being caught at the convent with the diamonds, so they'll plan to get the location of Gage's secret stash, where the diamonds and nanobot canister of doom are... but the actual target is the sword that Gage also stole, that happens to be Pinky's most prized possession.
- Gambit Pileup: Gage has a hit squad waiting at the nanoweapon sale, so either he gets the diamonds or gets to keep both if the deal goes south. It works out so well that he even gets Pinky's sword in the process. This leads to Pinky's plan which involves tapping Hel to recruit Camaro and "Trixie" to get the location of Gage's stash, which begets Hel manipulating Camaro into being her dumb muscle.
- The Pornomancer: Camero works her way through a convent, does a contortionist at a circus, and even hits on the girlfriend of the guy she just messily murdered.
- Psycho Lesbian: Zigzagged throughout the movie. All three protagonists are lesbians, but how mentally stable are they really? Is Camero really psycho, or is she merely temporarily high on drugs while going through a fit of Woman Scorned? Is Hel a psychopath who will kill everyone? And will the sweet innocent stripper Trixie survive through the story without having a complete meltdown? Maybe, maybe not? No need to answer those questions here. Clues in different directions are sprinkled throughout the film, and maybe just maybe you'll find out in the end.
- Riddle for the Ages: We never find out what Trixie whispered to Deputy Fuchs in the trailer.
- Right Through His Pants: The big love scene doesn't actually involve any nudity. It's still really hot, though.
- Sexy Soaked Shirt: What do three hot chicks in the middle of the desert do when they're tired of digging in the sand for hidden loot? Use all their water in a gratuitous five-minute splash fight, of course!
- Shout-Out:
- Hel's outfit in prison is a shout out to Rosie the Riveter, the advertising face of women in the World War II workforce and lesbian icon.
- The opening and closing credit sequences are themselves shout outs to classic Russ Meyer-style exploitation flicks.
- Camero's prisoner number is 1138.
- Many to Xena: Warrior Princess:
- Cameos of Xena: Warrior Princess actors are endless: Lucy Lawless (Xena), Renée O'Connor (Gabrielle), Kevin Sorbo (Hercules), Michael Hurst (Iolaus), William Gregory Lee (Virgil) and of course the aforementioned Zoë Bell (stunts).
- In one of the flashbacks, Trixie does Xena's trademark 'flip' jump - straight onto Gage.
- Kinki's weapon - while not quite like the Chakram itself, is quite reminiscent of it in it's style. Also: the Katana.
- Flesh Force Foxy in probably a reference to Fox Force Five, a show with a very similar premise described by Mia Wallace in Pulp Fiction.
- Not only is Camero's habit in the nunnery right out of The Flying Nun, but Renée O'Connor's character is named "Sister Batrill."
- The vault contains The Maltese Falcon.
- Hel's outfit in prison is a shout out to Rosie the Riveter, the advertising face of women in the World War II workforce and
- The Spook: Pinky. Until The Reveal.
- Stripperific: Justified in some cases by the fact that some characters are actually strippers, it's played straight for most of the other female characters. At one point Camero rips a nun's robe off herself to reveal a leather thong bikini. She keeps the habit.
- Tattooed Crook: Camero
- Title Drop: A rather baroque version, during one of Camero's drug-fueled freakouts."I'm gonna booty-bang bitch slap your fucking ass until you're just this side of salvage!"
- Troperiffic: This film was lovingly crafted specifically to become a Cult Classic by pinging as many tropes as possible.
- Twist Ending: As it turns out... Trixie is actually Pinky, the notorious Keyser Soze-like crime boss that everyone is afraid of.
- Unusual Euphemism: This movie used almost every slang term for sex and female genitalia in the English language, except for the non-offensive ones, and then made up some more just to avoid repetition.
- Unwitting Pawn: Camero and Hel, by Pinky.
- The Vamp: Trixie.
- Wall Bang Her: Trixie gets this treatment... by Hel.
- Woman Scorned: Camero does not take kindly to find Hel and Trixie in bed with each other. Turns out that Camero and Hel are actually a couple. Camero considered Hel the love of her life and trusted her with everything... The betrayal make her suspect that Hel has manipulated her all along. She really loses it when she finds out Trixie was her favorite anonymous one-night stand.
- You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: Subverted (with Hel) and played straight (Camero and Deputy Fuchs).
