Fanfic / With Big Shells and Wings
With Big Shells and Wings
is a Mario
fanfic written by abstow89 about Bowser gathering up every single villain
the Mario Bros. have faced and then forming an evil league whose sole purpose is to finally defeat the Mario Bros. It's up to Mario, Luigi, and other allies to defeat Bowser and his team of minions before they take over the Mushroom Kingdom. As Mario and the gang venture through the Mushroom Kingdom, the narratives frequently change and explain what's happening on Mario's side of the story as well as Bowser's.
The story is known for being random, having No Fourth Wall
, and consists of lots of various action sequences, and Kooper getting shot in the leg
. The humor is sometimes rather crude
or just flat-out disgusting
. And although the story is rated "T" and has most of its swearing censored, the author isn't afraid to go into detail when it comes to Gorn
This fanfic contains examples of:
- Aborted Arc: The entire fucking premise. At first, the story is nothing more than Mario and his friends taking out Bowser's troops and boss characters one by one. But halfway into the story, Trowzer starts to take control, and Bowser's league is cast aside. At this point in the fanfic, Bowser isn't even the Big Bad.
- Almost Dead Guy: Larry is brutally beaten to a pulp by Trowzer in chapter 53. He manages to stay alive long enough to say goodbye to Roy, Wendy, and Junior, and to tell them that Trowzer can be defeated.
- Ambiguously Gay: Red.
- The "fight" against Big Lantern Ghost.
- When Tubba Blubba and his remaining clubbas try to prevent Trowzer's army from advancing, Shannon walks up to Tubba Blubba and splits his head open with a machete in a matter of seconds.
- Anyone Can Die: While the main heroes have Plot Armor, the Mauve Shirts and minor characters have been dropping like flies. Even major characters like Yellow, Iggy Koopa, and Blaze aren't immune from death.
- And now we can add Eddard and Larry Koopa to the growing list of dead characters.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: When Larry is giving "The Reason You Suck" Speech to Trowzer, he tells everyone that he's a cold-blooded sadist who gets off on torture and will backstab anyone and everyone whenever he gets the chance. And then he comments about his Smelly Feet and bad breath.
- Artistic License – Physics: Invokved in chapter 43 when Lemmy jumps off a kart, kicks a dark koopa off a bike in mid-air, and then lands perfectly on the bike's seat and continues to drive it.
- Asshole Victim: Deacon. Jerry even lampshaded this.
- Awesome, but Impractical: Geno's infamous Geno Whirl move, which can kill anyone or anything in just one blow, even dragons. Too bad he rarely ever hits his target.
- Back for the Dead: Sharktail and Dix were absent from the story for nearly twenty chapters. When they finally came back into the story, neither of them lasted more than five chapters; the former didn't even do much when he reappeared.
- The Bad Guy Wins: Trowzer succeeds in everything he set out to do. He kills Bowser, takes over his castle, subdues the Mario Bros., crushes his brother's army, and even manages to kill two of Bowser's kids in the process.
- Big Bad: Bowser. For the first portion of the story. But later on we find out that his brother is the...
- Bigger Bad: Trowzer's really the one who's running the show.
- Big Bad Duumvirate: Bowser and Trowzer. Temporarily.
- Big Damn Heroes: Geno appearing from nowhere in chapter 3 and subsequently saving the Mario Bros. by killing Gloomtail with his Geno Whirl move.
- Bittersweet Ending: For the heroes' story arc. The Mario Bros. are defeated by Trowzer, and Kooper and Geno fail to retake Yoshi's Island and are captured by Trowzer's commandos. Even if things do get better, both of them are broken beyond repair; Kooper himself has lost all hope in getting rescued. However, Peach and Twink manage to escape from Trowzer and plan on informing everyone about his uprising, and Hooktail did promise Kooper and Geno that she'd return to Yoshi's Island with reinforcements...
- Black and Grey Morality:
- Bowser and his army aren't very cold-hearted. Sure, they're evil, but most of them are just Punch Clock Villains, and their only goal is to defeat the Mario Bros. Even though they resort to harming, sometimes killing innocents, they only do it for the sake of baiting the Mario Bros. into a trap.
- Trowzer and his army, on the other hand, are more than okay will raping, torturing, and/or gruesomly killing anyone in their way. Some of his soldiers kill people just because they feel like it. Trowzer himself is directly and indirectly responsible for the deaths of at least five major characters, one of whom was brutally killed just because he couldn't control his anger.
- Blatant Lies: Jerry's not good at keeping his obvious foot fetish a secret.
- Break the Cutie:
- Eddard. He's captured by Trowzer's forces (although rescued later on), some of his friends are killed, his village is burned down by Dracolin and his mother is presumably killed, he kills someone merely because he was angry, and then the only Yoshi he considered to be his father is executed right in front of him. To top all that off, Eddard gets his brains blown, which is especially jarring since the author made it seem like he'd end up surviving through the story.
- Black. It isn't until around chapter 51 that this trope hits him hard, and it gets worse as the story progresses. By chapter 55, Black is completely broken, and he even went as far as to list every single bad thing that has happened to him since Yellow died.
- Geno and Kooper. They try so hard to drive out Trowzer's forces from Yoshi's Island, but in the end it proves to be pointless when both of them are cornered and later captured by Marcus' commandos. It doesn't help that both of them were forced to watch Ned get executed, which sent both of them into a Heroic BSOD.
- Breath Weapon: The dragons (obviously), Bowser, Trowzer, and the putrid piranhas. Zorblax and several other putrid piranhas actually use their breath to poison several of Bowser's troops.
- Bring My Brown Pants:
- Averted, and then played straight in chapter 48. Shortly before the big shootout in Western Land, Lemmy pees on the floor of the milk shop so he won't end up pissing himself like that guy from Gladiator. Morton, however, decides to hold it in, and unsurprisingly pees himself right when one of Trowzer's assailants finds him.
- Played for Drama in chapter 51 when Black vomits and then involuntarily pees himself after being forced to kill an old friend.
- The Bus Came Back: Some of the named minor characters who were absent for over ten chapters reappeared in later chapters and became Mauve Shirts.
- Butt Monkey: Shannon.
- Cerebus Syndrome: The story starts out as a hilarious fanfic with a few action scenes thrown in here and there. But halfway through the story, characters start to die, the level of humor decreases, and the amount of blood, gore, and death increases.
- Co-Dragons: Subverted with Kirzvolitken and Shannon. At first it looked like they would be Trowzer's Dragons, but one chapter after Shannon is introduced, Kirzvolitken gets stabbed in the throat.
- Combat Pragmatist: In chapter 48, Harry and Barry run into a Sledge Bro. who tells them that they'll have to get through him (and his massive knife) to get to Trowzer's army. Harry points a gun at him.
- Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass:
- Lemmy. He goes from being a minor Plucky Comic Relief character to Taking A Level In Badass and earning his own badass subplot filled with him killing several of Trowzer's men.
- Morton too. While it took him longer to show his badassness, it's clear that he learned a few skills from Lemmy by chapter 46.
- Jerry, a clumsy koopatrol with a foot fetish who can take on a team of dark koopas with guns and knives by himself.
- Curb-Stomp Battle: Larry, Tutankoopa, General Guy, and Henson are all killed with little effort by Trowzer. Although Larry does succeed in coaxing Trowzer into having a Villainous Breakdown before dying.
- Dangerously Genre Savvy: Trowzer.
- Death by Materialism: Justified with Dix. The only reason why he didn't just cut and run was because he knew he needed money to get as far away from Trowzer as possible. It still doesn't change the fact that if he had left the castle empty-handed, he might've lived.
- Death Is Dramatic: Subverted with almost everyone who's died so far. Except for Jerry and Larry.
- Decoy Antagonist: Bowser.
- Dirty Coward: Tubba Blubba.
- Doorstopper: The story's roughly 5,000 words away from being 300,000 words long.
- Downer Ending: For Bowser's story arc. Bowser is killed by Trowzer, over half his troops are killed or driven out of Bowser's castle, two of his sons are dead, one's stuck in the middle of a blizzard, and his remaining children are forced to leave the castle in shame with the survivors. Soldiers who used to work for Bowser, like Green and Black, are fully aware of what kind of monster Trowzer is and realize that they're stuck working for him, unable to leave his army due to their fear of Trowzer killing them.
- Dramatic Drop: Lemmy drops his cell phone after hearing from Wendy that Larry had been killed.
- Dropped a Bridge on Him: Done egregiously with Deacon.
- Dying to Be Replaced: Kirzvolitken is killed by Lemmy in chapter 37 and Shannon quickly replaces his title as The Dragon for Trowzer.
- Enemy Mine: Hooktail. The only reason why she bothered working with Geno and Kooper was because she hates Trowzer and Dracolin more than she hates them.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Hooktail is utterly disgusted after she sees Dracolin crush a Yoshi kid to death for no reason. It's because of this that Hooktail fully ends up having a Heel-Face Turn.
- Eviler Than Thou: When you compare Bowser with Trowzer, it's really hard to even call Bowser a villain.
- Excrement Statement: Shortly after killing Dracolin, Hooktail squats over his corpse and shits on his head as payback for all the crude and disgusting jokes he played on her in the past.
- Sharktail can both breathe and fart fire.
- Wario uses his Wario Waft technique to blind a group of dark koopas in chapter 46.
- Trowzer, of all characters, managed to catch Basilisx off-guard in chapter 55 by farting in his face.
- Farts on Fire: When Bowser tries to teach Sharktail how to breathe fire, it comes out the wrong end...
- Faux Affably Evil: Trowzer.
- Fingore: Larry has all the fingers on his left hand broken.
- Forced to Watch: Trowzer's men force Dix to watch as he disects a koopa troopa alive.
- Gasshole: Bowser and Dracolin.
- Gory Discretion Shot: When Hooktail and Dracolin are fighting, the Yoshi kids only see their shadows. And when Hooktail deals the killing blow, most of them shut their eyes until the screaming stops. And then they see a pool of blood oozing into their view when they open their eyes again...
- If You're So Evil, Eat This Kitten: Dracolin dares Hooktail to eat a Yoshi kid just to see if she's still on Trowzer's side. She doesn't though, and simply makes it appear like she ate him.
- Infant Immortality:
Eddard: "Kids don't ever die in stories or on TV shows. It's like we're bulletproof or something."
- Insult Backfire: Deacon gives Peach and Twink "The Reason You Suck" Speech in chapter 49; he tells them that they're useless and contribute nothing to the story whatsoever. Peach responds by giving Deacon an even bigger "The Reason You Suck" Speech, which actually fazes him and leaves him speechless.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold:
- Kill 'em All: Out of the dozens of bank robbers who try to rob the Mushroom Kingdom Financial Security Counsel, only the Koopa Bros. make it out alive.
- Killed Off for Real: As of the final chapter, we have Gloomtail, Master Hand, Crazy Hand, Petey Piranha, Mallick, Darrik, Iggy Koopa, Yellow, Skipy, Elark, Blaze, Sharktail, Kirzvolitken, Dix, Benson, Steve, Dracolin, Tubba Blubba, Tutankoopa, General Guy, Henson, Bosley, Eddard, Larry Koopa, and Bowser.
- Kill the Cutie:
- Poor Yellow...
- And Eddard.
- Large Ham: Bowser, Trowzer, and especially Morton.
- Make It Look Like an Accident: How Shannon kills Steve.
- The Mole: Blaze.
- Mood Whiplash: Most definitely. Chapter 51, for example, starts out with a Mauve Shirt being dramatically killed off before abruptly switching over to a Deus ex Machina.
- My God, What Have I Done?: Marcus is visibly shocked after he shoots Ned in the back of the head. In fact, he was shocked before he shot him, and actually seemed like he didn't want to do it.
- No Fourth Wall: To the point where the characters can take out a copy of With Big Shells and Wings and burn or rip out the pages.
- No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: The Mario Bros. barely even scratch Trowzer when they go up against him.
- Nobody Poops: Horribly averted at the end of chapter 20.
- The Pigpen:
- While Darrik himself wasn't really dirty, the house he lived in was severely unkempt.
- Potty Failure: Bowser in chapter 22, after he farts a little too hard.
Ludwig: "Dad did you just soil your underwear?"
: "NO!!" (beat
- Precision F-Strike: There's swearing all over the story, but words like "fuck" and "shit" are usually censored. Up until chapter 39, anyway...
Dix: "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Dix: "I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!"
Bowser: "I will fucking kill you."
- Quirky Miniboss Squad: The Koopa Bros.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech:
- Green, upset over Steve's death, humiliates Shannon in front of an entire squadron of Trowzer's troops.
- Mauve Shirt Deacon dishes one out to Peach and Twink for how useless they are. It backfires.
- Larry spends the last few minutes of his life verbally abusing Trowzer with any insult he can think of.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: Inverted with Harry (a red Yoshi) and Barry (a blue Yoshi). Harry seems calmer and not as vicious as his older brother Barry. Interestingly, Harry has blue eyes, and Barry has red eyes.
- Running Gag:
- Kooper getting shot or stabbed in the leg.
- "I AM NOT A KID!"
- Everyone insulting or joking about Trowzer's smelly breath.
- Sacrificial Lamb: Yellow.
- Sacrificial Lion: Larry.
- Sequel Hook: The final chapter does end saying TO BE CONTINUED...
- Smelly Feet: It's been mentioned multiple times that Bowser has foul-smelling feet. And according to Larry, Trowzer's feet don't smell any better.
- Smug Snake: Shannon.
- Spoiler Title: Chapter 55 is named "Show No Tears". This is Basilisx's theme from Super Mario Bros. Z, which blatantly foreshadows his appearance in the chapter.
- The Starscream: Implied with Shannon.
- The Stoic: Geno and Mel.
- Taken for Granite: Basilisx from Super Mario Bros. Z appears in chapter 55 and shows Trowzer that he's still capable of turning people into stone.
- Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: Between Hooktail and Kooper.
- There Is No Kill Like Overkill: Sweet Jesus, LARRY. He's beaten to a pulp, bashed against the wall, floor, and various Bowser pedestals over and over again, has all the fingers on his left hand broken, has his right eye gouged out, is brutally beaten even more, is nearly choked to death... Let's just say that the author wasn't shy about the details.
- Those Two Bad Guys: Harry and Barry.
- Toilet Humour: And quite a bit of it. Later chapters have less toilet humor in them, but it's still there.
- Took a Level in Badass: Ludwig and Lemmy. Full stop.
- Uncleanliness Is Next to Ungodliness: Averted with Trowzer. Besides his bad breath, Trowzer isn't very dirty at all.
- Unfortunate Name: Trowzer. ...Yeah.
- Villainous Breakdown:
- Trowzer goes through one in "Sal" after he brutally beats the Mario Bros. to a pulp. Although he snaps out of it, he's obviously capable of having another breakdown.
- Shannon has one in chapter 50 after being the Butt Monkey for well over five chapters. Fed up with the incessant name-calling, Shannon snaps, steals a machete from Barry, and brutally hacks Tubba Blubba apart with everyone watching. He then threatens everyone in Trowzer's army to never call him "bitch-boy" again, with blood covered all over his body. While everyone knows he's still a Smug Snake, they stop teasing him for the sake of not ending up like Tubba Blubba.
- Trowzer has another, much more disturbing breakdown in chapter 53. He kindly asks Larry to beg for his life before killing him, but after he refuses multiple times, Trowzer devolves into a feral monster and mercilessly beats Larry to the brink of death. His entire army was disgusted and scared of Trowzer after he dropped his affable nature, and it took fifteen soldiers to calm Trowzer down and to convince him to stop abusing Larry (who, by that point, was nothing more than a "bloated bloody sack of meat and bones"). Even after he got over his breakdown, his army was still afraid of him.
- We Hardly Knew Ye: The nameless badass white clubba from chapters 47 and 48.
- Wham Episode:
- A few, but the biggest one would be "The Ninth Gate," which is when the author establishes that Anyone Can Die.
- "Sal." Dix is killed as he tries to flee from Trowzer's army, Bowser confesses to his army that Trowzer was Evil All Along, and when the Mario Bros. finally come face to face with Trowzer and fight him, THEY LOSE.
- "Run Turtle Junk (Part 12)." Kooper, Geno, and the other Yoshi rebels are cornered into a hut and surrounded by Marcus' soldiers, and to make matters worse, it's revealed that they've captured Bosley and Ned. Trowzer effortlessly kills Tutankoopa, Henson, and General Guy before having another Villainous Breakdown and beating Larry to a bloody pulp.
- "Run Turtle Junk (Part 13)." Marcus executes Bosley and then, shockingly, kills Ned too, causing everyone in the hut to go through a Heroic BSOD. Junior, Roy, and Wendy go back to find Larry, but shortly after they locate him, he dies. The three siblings break down sobbing and realize that Trowzer has utterly destroyed Bowser's army and has broken their family.
- What Happened to the Mouse?:
- Ludwig was last spotted walking into a blizzard in the middle of Fahr Outpost, and Doopliss was last seen wandering off into the jungles of Keelhaul Key.
- Subverted with Ludwig later on though when some...thing picks him up and carries him off somewhere.
- Where the hell are the Mario Bros.?!
- What Measure Is a Mook?: Deconstructed, especially in the recent chapters. The author has no problem giving random mooks names, faces, personalities, and even having large portions of a chapter focus solely on a group of mooks. Of course, many of them are still killed off like faceless mooks.
- The Worf Effect: Basilisx is the only character so far who has managed to not only critically injure Trowzer, but has managed to kill or subdue every single soldier in his army.
- You Have Failed Me: Even after Blaze captures Mario and his friends, Trowzer kills him anyway because he failed to kill them back in his suite.
- You Need a Breath Mint:
- None of the characters are afraid to tell Bowser, Trowzer, or any of the dragons that their breath stinks.
- Morton. Lemmy remarks (after Morton gave him mouth-to-mouth) that he doesn't like to wake up smelling his "nasty-ass breath." Moments later he jokingly tells Morton to find some breath mints.
- Trowzer seems to be the butt of this trope. Any character who sees even a slight opportunity to insult or make fun of Trowzer's foul breath will take it.