Darth Wiki / Ilasgoc

"People have died, Aaron’s infused with the power of Giratina, Kotone has unleashed her satanic powers, Georgia’s on a god complex streak, Roxanne wants to take over the world, people have been brought back from the dead countless times
Not to mention Wallace is super saiyan rn and Steven just seppuku’d
And Ghetsis has no head
All because of a single Bidoof"

It's Like a Simple Game of Chess or "Ilasgoc" is an alternate universe Pokémon roleplay in which "arceus smoked hella weed before creating the cosmos and everyone in the resulting existence are over the top caricatures of cultural stereotypes". As can be expected, Hilarity Ensues, mostly of the surreal variety.

Peeps n Peepetes:

Barry

Trainer of Sinnoh and not gay.

• Straight Gay: Barry is actually in canon with Lucas now
• Running Joke: Barry is GAY
• Unwanted Harem: Dawn, Lucas, Saturn at some point, Curtis, and possibly Rowan all want his d.

Bill

A pokemaniac from Johto who is currently residing in Kanto. Made the PC system.

Curtis

An Idol, womanizer and not Len.

• Berserk Button: People calling him Len drives him batty.
• Casanova Wannabe: Subverted in that he hits on everyone and doesn't get any except from the people he doesn't want to be with.

• Running Joke: 'you want the d','Sorry, I don't date Black dudes' and anything involving him being a Vocaloid.

Dawn

A trainer from Sinnoh that is in love with Barry.

Kotone

A trainer from the Johto region. Is Satan

• Berserk Button: Calling her Lyra brings on the rage (hellfire rage).

Lucas

A trainer from the Sinnoh region.

• Mister Seahorse: He carried a child for a Celebi and a Shaymin, of all things.

Brawly Brawlworth

A Surfing Stoner and Gym Leader of Dewford in Hoenn.

• Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass:

• Just Friends: With Kris.

• Red Oni, Blue Oni: While he's stupid and friendly and the red oni, his opposite is Roxanne, who's wise and bitchy, while they both respect Hoenn and are willing to battle for it.
• Running Gag: I wonder does he love Marlon?

• The Nicknamer: Tends to call others simpler names, like pheebs, rox and flans.

Brycen Hachiku

A Movie Star of Unova but used to be a gym leader there.

• Demonic Possession: Angelic Possession since he sometimes gets taken over by an angel called Mastema.

• It's All About Me: Can get a bit obsessed with his fame.

• My Friends... and Zoidberg: He gets the short of the stick in introductions - The Hoenn Crew....and Brycen.

Candice

Ice type gym leader of Sinnoh

• My Friends... and Zoidberg: Like Brycen, she's not from Hoenn.

Flannery

Fire type gym leader of Hoenn but kinda new at it.

• Mistaken for Gay: Everyone thinks she's a lesbian

Juan

Water type gym leader of Hoenn and used to be Wallace's mentor.

• Pungeon Master: His name gives him quite a lot of opportunities.

Roxanne

Rock type gym leader of Hoenn. Leader (sort of) of the Hoenn Crew.

Steven Stone (d)

One of the champions of Hoenn. Likes to shove stones up his butt.

• Ideal Hero: The best person in the whole world, ever.

• Anal Probing: He likes to shove stones up his butt.

• Death Is a Slap on the Wrist: Dies daily but there seems to be no long-term consequences.
• Disproportionate Retribution: Got hunted down by the Sinnoh Squad and killed off for editing a post. Which everyone does anyway.
• Mister Seahorse: Through Wailord sperm shampoo, he became a mother.

Tate and Liza

Twin Gym Leaders of Hoenn. Tate is not a girl.

• Disappeared Dad: Their dad left in a space shuttle and never came back.
• Dude Looks Like a Lady: No matter how much he looks like one, Tate is not a girl.
• Running Gag: The "Tate is a girl" jokes.

• Wonder Twin Powers: "telepathic powers and shit"
• Younger Than They Look: They're 10, but could pass off as a bit older.
• Older Than They Look: People also call them babies.

Wallace

One of the champions of the Hoenn region used to be a gym leader.

Giovanni

The former(?) leader of Team Rocket

Koga

A poison type gym leader that is now an Elite 4.

• Bilingual Bonus: If you know Japanese, you'll know that the majority of things he's saying are rather rude, off-topic, and very poorly worded.
• Deadpan Snarker: He takes every opportunity he sees to jab at the other characters.
• Gratuitous Japanese: His sentences are both this and Gratuitous English, usually swear words.
• Only Sane Man: He likes to think he is, but he really isn't much saner than the rest.

Leaf

A trainer from Kanto. Smokes leaf every day.

• Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Smokes weed and flirts a lot. Shoots and kills a whole bunch of people when her region is threatened.

Lorelei

The former ice??? Elite Four member of Kanto. Resides on Four Island in a pile of plushies. Has really big boobs.

• An Ice Person: (former) ice Elite Four member of Kanto.

Aaron

Member of Sinnoh Elite 4. Hates Steven.

Cheryl

Has a powerful Blissey

• Olympus Mons: Her Blissey is apparently Arceus

Cynthia

Champion of Sinnoh and really cool (also a complete Babe *wolf whistle*)

Lucian

One of the Sinnoh E4 and would willingly fuck anyone

Saturn

Team Galactic commander and poledancer

Bugsy

A bug type Gym Leader of the Johto region and not a girl.

• Children Are Innocent: He doesn't understand what a lot of things are. Kirry and Aaron often have to explain.

• Dude Looks Like a Lady: Looks like a girl but definitely isn't one.
• Momma's Boy: The reason he acts so nice to ladies is because his mother went out with a jerk who broke her heart, causing her to leave Bugsy.
• Yandere: When either Aaron or Kirry talk to Cheren and Riley, respectively. Goes full on crazy, killing, drinking the blood, cannibalism. Apparently the 'red' talks to him.

Burgh

Bug type gym leader of Unova and struggling artist.

Drayden

Opelucid City's mayor and gym leader. Has the most infamous beard ever.

• Berserk Button: Don't ever call him Santa, mention Christmas or hurt Iris. And never challenge him to the title of Prom Queen.
• Death Is a Slap on the Wrist: Has died thrice now but he is fine with it.

• Intergenerational Friendship: Being one of the oldest characters, he tends to be this with most people.
• Jerkass with a Heart of Gold: He may act like a dick to a lot of people and threaten them but in reality, he clearly cares about everyone.
• Official Couple: With Bertha, to the point where they're getting engaged.
• Papa Wolf: He will kill you if you even so much as insult Iris.
• Running Gag: "INAPPROPRIATE", "what's a X" and "DRAGONS".

Hugh

A Trainer from Unova and ALWAYS ANGRY ALL THE TIME

• Berserk Button: Anything about Team Plasma or Purrloin makes him CRAZY ANGRY.
• No Indoor Voice: ALWAYS TALKS IN CAPS

Shadow Triad Emma

• Berserk Button: Anyone talking badly about Ghetsis makes him super mad.
• Cloudcuckoolander: A majority of what she says is quite spontaneous.

• Hopeless Suitor: Never gets the person she falls for.
• Improbable Age: Joined Team Plasma at 14.

Skyla

An airplane pilot and flying type Gym Leader of Unova.

The Happy Mask Salesman

• Mood-Swinger: Happy! and he says that he is trying to work on his anger issues.
• Really 700 Years Old: Is even older than Drayden.
• Sweet Tooth: He eats so many treats the sugar actually controls his mood swings.

Zekrom/Black Kyurem

Legendary electric dragon of ideals in Unova. Currently a pet belonging to Skyla and Sabrina. ...As Zekrom at least. Occasionally, circumstances end up causing him/her/it to turn into Black Kyurem. It can also change how it looks.

• Ambiguous Gender: Even he/she/it isn't sure what gender it is...
  • It has both a male and a female human form and uses them from time to time.
• Berserk Button: Don't even THINK of mentioning Reshiram unless you want his divine wrath.

• Luke, I Am Your Father: Zekrom turns out to be Gold's dad.

• Trademark Favorite Food: Pizza. Also, it apparently eats 12 dozen zombies a day.

Magma Grunt (Blair)

A Team Magma grunt.

Concordia

N's sister. Has no other relatives.

• Berserk Button: Don't freaking touch her little brother.

Molly

Goes between little girl and an adult. Doesn't like Professor Birch.

• I'm a Humanitarian: Has shown interest in eating Ash.

Clyde

The guy who gives you water in all the gyms. No one remembers him.

GORDOR

THE MOST EVIL MOTHERFRICKER IN FIORE.

• Berserk Button: Anyone saying or doing anything sexual near Tiffany, anyone threatening or hurting his family, and anyone insulting the University of Almia, his alma mater.
• Even Evil Has Standards: While he is a killer and an admittedly very evil criminal, he REFUSES to ever beat his children or molest a child.

• Noodle Incident: The incidents that cause him to fear Enties and Murkrows is never quite fully explained.
• No Indoor Voice: THIS IS HIS NORMAL SPEAKING VOLUME, DAMMIT.
• Unstoppable Rage: The usual result of anyone coming anywhere near Tiffany or doing anything vaguely threatening towards her is excessive violence..

Kaito

Yes. Kaito from Vocaloid.

• Berserk Button: Saying that he's into pee makes him mad.
• Food as Bribe: He'll do anything for food. Anything.

Sidney

He's Sidney

• Sidney: sidney
  • Sidney?Sidney? Sidney?

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Ilasgoc provides examples of:

• Abnormal Ammo: In the first Ilasgoc Hunger Games event, Biangra used an egg launcher as a weapon.

• Backstabbing the Alpha Bitch: Lavana has been back-stabbed by Ran in the third mafia event and those who voted her to be lynched in the second mafia event.

• Beware the Nice Ones: Altaria is very nice, but she sure won't hesitate to murder someone.

• Catchphrase:
  • Archer with "I'm Archer okay" and "Join Team Rocket".
  • Those in villainous teams often say "Join Team ____".

• Cruel and Unusual Death:
  • Death by being squashed by a flyswatter.
  • Getting eaten alive by Pokemon.

• Does Not Like Spam: Archer hates pizza more than anything. You must never even mention pizza around Archer.

• Everyone Is Bi: Gender doesn't matter at all when it comes to romance here.

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