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Principal Nigel Brown
"Let me make this clear for you. If you wear fake clothes, you're NAKED, which is bad! If you pay with fake money, you're A CROOK, which is bad! If you eat fake meat, you're A VEGETARIAN! Which I... Guess is not that bad, just a bit boring."
Voiced by: Lewis MacLeod (Season 1), Steve Furst (Season 2 onward)
Debut: Season 1, "The Third"
Last appearance: Season 6, "The Inquisition"
The school's principal (and occasional band teacher) who can be best described as a furry slug. He and Miss Simian have a strong attraction to each other and barely bother to hide it.
- Accessory-Wearing Cartoon Animal: Only wears glasses, though his fur is sometimes treated as if it were an object of clothing. He may also be wearing high heels under his fur, which produce his loud clopping footsteps.
- Berserk Button: He does not take cheating on a test well and will give whoever he catches cheating a spring break's worth of detention. Even his Love Interest Miss Simian is not immune to this, as he holds her back to eighth grade when he discovered she had cheated back then in "The Grades".
- Cartoon Creature: Confusion as to Principal Brown's species is something of a Running Gag. note On "The Others", when Gumball realizes just how amazing his world is and how Clare Cooper needs to see it, Gumball says that he goes to school with a banana (Banana Joe), a toast (Anton), a T-Rex (Tina), a ghost (Carrie), and "whatever Principal Brown is". In "The Lie", Principal Brown himself admits he doesn't know what his own species is."I tried to hibernate until spring, but it turns out that whatever I am doesn't do that."
- Cloudcuckoolander: Can be very loony, manic, and irrational at times. Emphasized more in his Day in the Limelight episodes.
- A Day in the Limelight:
- In "The Apology," he has to put up with Ms. Simian's petty rage over Gumball and Darwin.
- In "The Fraud," he becomes paranoid of Gumball and Darwin exposing his fraudelent degree and tries to suck up to them (in reality, Gumball and Darwin don't even think about telling anyone, as they don't want anything bad to happen to him).
- In "The Pact," he and Gumball form a pact, but when Brown refuses to finish it, Gumball goes to horrifying lengths to push him to it.
- In "The Wish," he has trouble finding a way to express his love to Simian.
- Dean Bitterman: Principal Brown can be rather petty, once giving Gumball detention specifically because it might have messed up his face, although sometimes he can be the Reasonable Authority Figure reacting to something ridiculous Gumball or Darwin did.
- Eye Glasses: His eyebrows are clearly on top of his glasses. He once took off his glasses dramatically, showing he had another pair of glasses under that while the glasses he took off still had irises and eyebrows on them.
- Has a Type: His song in "The Singing" reveals he finds Ms. Simian attractive because he likes body hair.
- Humiliation Conga: He's quite prone to these:
- In "The Mystery" he was slammed with a door by Miss Simian, leaving him dizzy and causing him to fall down the stairs, covering himself in toilet paper, then smashed into Penny's painting and falling into some burning chemicals, causing him to fall down MORE stairs and wrapping himself in more toilet paper, then finally landing inside Gumball's locker.
- In "The Meddler', Gumball crashes into him and he spills his hot coffee all over his face. He douses the coffee with a can of paint, burning his eyes; he washes off the paint with chlorine for the pool, burning off all his hair; and he finishes by neutralizing the chlorine with fertilizer, painfully growing his hair back. He is unscathed by the end of it, but he gives Gumball detention for potentially damaging his face.
- Happens in "The Sock", though at a smaller scale. In this episode he has his head set on fire for reasons unknown, and later he throws himself out of a window to "rescue" Miss Simian.
- In "The Apology" Miss Simian repeatedly trashes his office in rage every time she fails to get Gumball and Darwin in trouble. So he glues everything down. And it all gets stuck to him.
- Iconic Item: His Brain Academy mug that was only seen in Season 1 and 2.
- Interspecies Romance: Him (a furry slug like creature) and Miss Simian (an ape).
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He often punishes the students harshly, but in "The Apology", he refuses to punish Gumball or Darwin unless he's given solid evidence that they've done something wrong and he threatens to fire Miss Simian if she keeps trying to frame them, in spite of his personal feelings for her.
- Morality Pet: He is probably the sole being that Miss Simian shows a soft side to.
- Official Couple: With Miss Simian.
- Older Than They Look: He was in a flashback to when Louie, Betty, and Donald were young which means he is about their age and they are in their 70s.
- Phony Degree: "The Fraud" shows his degree in teaching is fake. He's worried about being exposed, but everyone who knows agrees to keep is secret so long as he actually focuses on his job.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: He's often petty and frivolous, but in "The Apology" he refuses to punish Gumball or Darwin unless he's given solid evidence and he threatens to fire Miss Simian if she keeps trying to frame them, in spite of his personal feelings for her.
- Took a Level in Kindness: He was a lot more unfair and cantankerous in season one, often giving out disproportionate punishments to Gumball (like giving him detention for hurting his feelings). In season two and on he became less meaner in favor of making more kind and loose, but also zanier than almost everyone in school.
- Totally Radical: In "The Fraud", where he tries to keep Gumball and Darwin silent from discovering that he had a fake diploma, one attempt was dressing up in a hip-hop outfit and speaking in 2010s terms such as piercings, hashtag, YOLO, selfies and swag. This went on until Mr. Small had to hit him with a cafeteria tray for being a Jerkass and attempting to be cool.
Miss Lucy Simian
"I have a surprise for you, children — a surprise test! Hahahaha!"
Voiced by: Lewis MacLeod (season 1), Hugo Harold-Harrison (season 2 onward), Rie Takahashi (Japanese)
Debut: Early reel/Season 1, "The Responsible"
Last appearance: Season 6, "The Inquisition"
An impossibly ancient monkey who teaches at Elmore Junior High. Her and Principal Brown have a strong attraction to each other and barely bother to hide it.
- Action Survivor: Of the joy virus in "The Joy". She also ends up being the Final Girl.
- Apathetic Teacher: She admits in "The Butterfly" that she doesn't care about the children's education. You wouldn't either if you've been teaching since the Stone Age and had people attacking you for trying to teach subject matter considered subversive for its day, such as using the wheel and how to make fire.
- Art Evolution: In Season 1, she was originally a rigid blocky character
◊ with a rather prominent shade of gray, and had a polka-dotted dress. In Season 2, she is given more color, a completely pink dress, a more rounded body, better computer animation, and some slightly noticeable Fan Disservice Jiggle Physics in her much more saggier boobs. - Bald of Evil: She's technically bald with a beard. Given she's a monkey, this wouldn't be especially notable if it weren't for it being pointed out to her in "The Boombox" by Principal Brown, showing she had not noticed before.
- Bare-Bottomed Monkey: She's a ridiculously old monkey with a disgustingly wrinkly, red behind to match. While not normally seen due to her outfit, the beginning of "The Apology" uses it for an extended gag when her dress accidentally hikes up in the back and her class is
continuously grossed out whenever she turns around. - Barefoot Cartoon Animal: Wears a full dress but no shoes. Given her feet are realistically primate-like, she probably couldn't fit them in a regular pair of shoes.
- Creepy Shadowed Undereyes: The skin around her eyes is heavily pigmented, presumably from age and a job she dislikes.
- A Day in the Limelight:
- In "The Ape," she attempts to emotionally manipulate the Wattersons into thinking she's a friend.
- In "The Apology," she refuses to admit her wrongdoings to Gumball and Darwin.
- In "The Joy," she attempts to stop the Joy Virus from spreading out of the school.
- In "The Lie," where she acts as a Grinch-like figure to expose Gumball and Anais' lie about Sluzzle Tag.
- In "The Grades," she forces Gumball to go back to kindergarten, only for this plan to completely backfire on herself.
- In "The Wish," she contemplates of leaving Elmore after feeling unloved by Principal Brown.
- Elderly Immortal: It's unknown if she's lived over 2,000,000 years because of actual immortality or a naturally long lifespan, but either way she looks quite old.
- Even Evil has Loved Ones: As cruel and mean-spirited as she is, she does genuinely care about her Nigel. He is the only character that she often shows a bit more of a softer and caring side to. Even if she can still be a bit controlling and threatening towards him.
- Even Evil Has Standards: In "The Skull," she was shown to be angry when Clayton ran off sobbing after Gumball and Darwin kicked him out of the cafeteria for lying. This was so off that Darwin and Gumball thought that Clayton was impersonating her, when in reality, he wasn't and it was actually Miss Simian.
- Fan Disservice: She has prominent, very saggy breasts, as well as a wrinkly bare bottom.
- Fun-Hating Villain: Outright admits in "The Joy" that she loves the smell of despair on a Monday morning.
- Iconic Item: Her "I ❤️ Myself" mug. She has a different mug in "The Singing" that said "I ❤️ Children", which doesn't make sense for Miss Simian to have.
- Interspecies Romance: Her (an ape) and Principal Brown (a furry slug like creature)
- It's All About Me: Her mug even says, "I Love Myself".
- Jerkass Has a Point:
- In "The Joy", she's completely unsympathetic to Gumball and Darwin being unnaturally happy on a Monday because she hates happiness, but she's also completely right that they're diseased.
- Also in "The Lie", where she's the only one bluntly denying that Gumball's made-up holiday is real. Slightly subverted late when other characters admit they knew all along, but ran with it because they needed a distraction from the bleakness of January.
- Jerkass to One: She's a grumpy, self-centered, and mean-spirited Sadist Teacher in general, but has a particular hatred for Gumball. In multiple episodes, she does her best to make his life a living hell, to the extent that in "The Grades," the very idea of having him out of her class leads her to do a Happy Dance.
- Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: In "The Ape", she was a complete jerk to Nicole when she was young and would even use Gumball and Darwin just to get the Teacher Award. She was given a choice to either get the form with the signature on the car and fall out of the bridge or get off the car and redeem herself by staying friends with the Wattersons. She went "Nah!" to the latter and does the former, which leads to her fall.
- Lean and Mean: She has a stick person-like body and is very mean and sadistic.
- Meaningful Name: Lucy is also the nickname of an important hominid fossil.
- Nominal Hero: In "The Joy", while she's doing it for purely selfish reasons (recognition, not liking the sight of so much happiness, etc.), she still tries to stop the spread of the titular G-Rated Zombie Apocalypse (even though she failed).
- Not So Above It All: She's a jerk to end all jerks...but she loves a good party and participates in crowd songs.
- Official Couple: With Principal Brown.
- Pet the Dog:
- She showed herself to not be completely heartless in "The Apology," as she gave up her attempts to frame or catch Gumball and Darwin when they attempted to actually get in trouble to save her dignity, her job and her relationship, and even attempted to clean up the mess they made to keep them out of trouble. Even when Gumball completely milks the fact that she's actually saying sorry for her behavior, she just chuckles. It's a surprisingly sweet moment for such a mean character.
- In "The Meddler," Gumball mentions that Miss Simian thought the souffle he made for Home Ec was "divine," and gave him a B- for it. Considering how Miss Simian normally treats Gumball, that's quite a compliment.
- In "The Skull", when Clayton runs out of the cafeteria, she bursts in demanding to know who upset him. Considering how mean she is to her students throughout the series, it's a somewhat nice moment for her, even if it wasn't treated as such.
- In both "The Grades" and "The Pact", she is genuinely proud of Gumball when he gets good grades.
- It's relatively minor, but she did attempt to comfort Anais during the joy outbreak before finding out she was already infected and was a trap.
- Sadist Teacher: Zig Zagged; she's almost always portrayed as grumpy, self-centered, and mean-spirited (unless she's with Principal Brown), but if this translates to actively picking on her students or Gumball specifically varies by episode.
- Species Surname: "Simian" is a animal classification, although it's a bit wider than "species", as it includes apes and some monkeys.
- Time Abyss: At least two million years old. She's so old, she taught during the Stone Age and her father's skeleton is currently on display at a natural history museum.
- Vocal Evolution: In Season 1, her voice was very screechy, and she had a noticeable British accent. After her voice actor changed in Season 2, her accent disappeared, and her voice became slighter gentler and more feminine. Her voice continued to relax as the series progressed (compare "The Apology" to "The Grades").
Rockwell "Rocky" Robinson
"I work real hard! ...To do as little as possible. To be honest, I just lie down a lot. Ah! I can whistle with my butt!"
Voiced by: Lewis MacLeod (Season 1), Hugo Harold-Harrison (Season 2), Simon Lipkin (Season 3 onward)
Debut: Early reel/Season 1, "The Debt"
Last appearance: Season 6, "The Inquisition"
Mr. and Mrs. Robinson's estranged son and a muppet creature like his parents (even though he's orange and they're blue). He works numerous non-teaching positions at Elmore Junior High (mostly the janitor, the cafeteria worker, and the bus driver).
- Alliterative Name: Rocky Robinson.
- All-Loving Hero: He mentions in 'The Ape' that he likes everyone apart from Miss Simian.
- Barefoot Cartoon Animal: Unlike his parents, he wears no shoes.
- Black Sheep: His father disowned him because he won't take a respectable job, is a deadbeat who never left school, and dresses like a Canadian.
- Bland-Name Product : He wears an AB/CD shirt in season one. From season two to now, the logo was changed to "Bisou" and stylized after the logo for the band "KISS".
- A Day in the Limelight:
- In "The Boss," where gets a job at Chanax, only to have his soul literally stolen by them.
- In "The Slide," where he uses an online dating app.
- Like Father, Unlike Son: His parents are both very mean, grumpy, and serious, but Rocky himself is friendly, happy, and laid-back.
- Mellow Fellow: Rocky is very calm and relaxed, generally only losing his cool when in danger or pain.
- Metalhead: Rocky is a rock/metal fan who can provide a useful summary of different types of Heavy Metal. He fits the typical outfit and job, though he's much more friendly and laidback than the stereotype.
- New Job as the Plot Demands: He fills pretty much every non-teaching, non-administrative job at school, usually the janitor, the cafeteria worker, and the bus driver. He is also a public bus driver in "The News."
- Nice Guy: By his own admission, he likes everybody...except Miss Simian. But as he also points out, nobody likes Miss Simian.
- Replacement Goldfish: Becomes a literal replacement goldfish for Darwin in "The Genius", who Nicole and Richard insist on calling "Rockwin".
- Vibrant Orange: In contrast to his parents, who are dull gray colored, Rocky is bright orange to reflect his passion for music and lust for life.
- "Well Done, Son" Guy: Downplayed; in "The Boss," Rocky was willing to try a full-time office job so his father would no longer view him as a loser. By the end of the episode, Rocky decides to go back to his old job, despite what his dad thinks.
- White Sheep: Rocky is much nicer than either of his parents.
Mr. Steve Small
"Did I hear someone talk about alternative medicine?"
Voiced by: Rupert Degas (season 1), Adam Long (season 2 onward)
Debut: Season 1, "The End"
Last appearance: Season 6, "The Inquisition"
A spacy, hippie cloud man who acts as Elmore Junior High's guidance counselor.
- Alliterative Name: The first letters of his first and last name begin with an "S".
- Characterization Marches On: In season one, Mr. Small's hippie-like tendencies weren't so pronounced and it was generally implied that he was much more mean, selfish, and cowardly than he let on. After that, he seems to be genuinely well-meaning but a complete doormat.
- The Chew Toy: Him being injured as the result of the protagonist's actions (or anyone's actions, as seen in "The Fraud" when Principal Brown trampled him on his way to the school boiler room or when Jamie used him as the "S" in "Soree" on "The Girlfriend") has become a Running Gag since the end of season one.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Even besides his deliberately "hippie" behavior, he's done strange things like writing an extremely long poem from the point of view of a shoe and thinking he's become one with the universe when he woke up in a room full of foam.
- Compressed Hair: Can easily fit the fluff on his body into skin-tight clothing when needed.
- A Day in the Limelight:
- In "The Painting", where he teaches Gumball and Darwin how to channel their hyperactive energy.
- In "The Sock", he tries to show Gumball and Darwin the ins and outs of lying, honesty, and when to be honest.
- In "The Void", he journeys with Gumball and Darwin into The Void in hopes of searching for his lost love, Janice.
- In "The Advice", where his vague advice causes the whole school to slowly fall apart.
- In "The Stink", where he discovers how hypocritical he is about his beliefs and decides to live in the forest.
- Drill Sergeant Nasty: He's the judge for cheerleading tryout and is extremely serious about it for a team with about six members.
- Everyone Has Standards: Principal Brown's attempt at being a cool kid in "The Fraud" was so disgusting that even Mr. Small smacked him with a lunch tray for it.Mr. Small: I'm sorry, Principal Brown, but you look like such a jerk that even a granola-crunching pacifist like me had to do something about it.
- Fully-Dressed Cartoon Animal: Though his appearance is hard to pin down, "The Lie" has him tear the fur off his face, revealing an ape-like face beneath.
- G-Rated Stoner: Besides the usual hippie traits, there's a few moments implying he is indeed a stoner; drinking herbal tea that makes him black out, and in "The Void," he can bounce through the dimension of the world's mistakes because he's, "...used to feeling spaced out."
- Hippie Teacher: A counselor variant. In the first season he was rather less patient than the typical example, but it's mostly played straight from the second season on. He even specifically refers to himself as this in "The Banana".
- Iconic Item: Never without his sandals; apparently, he even wore them to senior prom. The only time he has different footwear is when rollerblading or when in certain costumes.
- The Illegal: Implied in "The Fraud" when he confesses he isn't even a U.S. citizen.
- In Touch with His Feminine Side: Grows flowers, occasionally dresses in feminine clothes, and was frequently seen in a pink shirt in his youth.
- Ironic Name: Despite having the surname "Small", he's one of the tallest faculty members, only beat out by Coach, and is easily twice the height of Gumball and Darwin.
- Large Ham:"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!"
- Leitmotif: In most of his appearances, a strum of a sitar plays in the first time he shows up in the episode.
- Mood-Swinger: Can go from an easy-going hippie to an enraged maniac in a snap. This was mostly seen in Season 1 with episodes like "The Painting"; later seasons have his mood swings toned down quite a bit.
- New-Age Retro Hippie: Right down to the rainbow shirt, temporarily having a diet that was just sunlight, having a Hippie Van named Janis (possibly named after Janis Joplin), and even being a literal cloud.
- Nice Guy: A well-meaning, if extremely misguided New-Age Retro Hippie.
- Nothing but Skin and Bones: On a few occasions where he wears skin-tight or revealing clothes we can see his ribcage with a disturbing amount of detail. Justified as he starved himself on a diet of sunlight.
- Piss-Take Rap: Has one about honesty; while dressed in a bear costume.
- Psycho Psychologist: Mr. Small is the school's counselor but really needs therapy more than any of his students. Especially in the first season, where he often showed himself to be violently bipolar. Seasons two and three had him more as spacey and paranoid.
- Scare 'Em Straight: Does this to Gumball and Darwin by showing them a grotesque diagram of the soul of a liar. This can also be applied to his sock puppet, the Silence Snake, whom he uses to scream at people and shock them into shutting up.
- Small Role, Big Impact: Relatively speaking. If it weren't for him, then we would have never discovered The Void and Rob would not have been able to escape.
- Speak of the Devil: A variation. Mentioning "alternative medicine" will immediately summon him, as seen in "The Allergy" and "The Silence".
- Sphere Eyes: His are red with yellow irises.
- Straw Vegetarian: In "The Castle" he states he's only a vegetarian so he can rub his superiority over not eating meat in everyone's faces. In "The Pizza," it's revealed that in dire survival situations, he will turn to cannibalism, but only if the person about to be eaten hasn't had any antibiotics or anything that's not considered organic. Principal Brown in "The Fraud" mentions that he hates vegetarians because they're boring, always go shirtless, and have a smug superiority to them, which may or may not be how he really feels about Mr. Small. "The Potato" reveals that he still eats meat, secretly stashing it in his desk because he can't stop eating it.
- Token Good Teammate: He's the only teacher that genuinely wants to teach kids.
- Tuckerization: Named after a friend of the show's creator that also works in animation—the same one that made his character design, in fact.
- Vocal Evolution: In Season 1, he had a Southern accent and a raspy voice. Post-Season 2, his accent is gone and his voice is much airier and slightly higher-pitched (though his "Take My Advice" song goes back to his louder Season 1-style voice). When seen as a younger teen in "The Choices", his voice was higher-pitched and occasionally cracked.
- Unmoving Plaid: His rainbow-patterned shirt played this straight a few times in season one. Every other time it's a downplayed example, because the pattern will rotate and shift as his body parts move, but does not change when his shirt gets folded.
Coach R. Russo
"Angry dogs, 3; Watterson, nil."
Voiced by: Dan Russell
Debut: Season 3, "The Coach"
Last appearance: Season 6, "The Inquisition"
A red, cube-like person who takes over Miss Simian's/Mr. Small's/Principal Brown's duty as P.E. teacher in the third season, starting with the episode, "The Coach".
- Bait-and-Switch Tyrant: When introduced in "The Coach", she seems like a blowhard Drill Sergeant Nasty, not letting Darwin and Gumball use their excuse note for gym, exhausting everyone in class, talking about ridiculous stories of her accomplishments, and seeming to overly favor Jamie. Halfway into the episode, she keeps Jamie from beating up Gumball and makes her apologize, to everyone's complete shock. From that point, it becomes clear that she's just a regular gym coach, even if she's overbearing and somewhat dense.
- Cephalothorax: She has no neck.
- The Cobbler's Children Have No Shoes: She's in charge of physical fitness and goes on about how necessary it is, but she's in such terrible shape (literally and figuratively) that she gets exhausted running even the shortest distance. On the other hand, her daughter is very physically fit. Ironically, she's much better at her job than most of the staff, as her introduction has most of the students getting the first real workout they've had in their lives.
- The Comically Serious: She always speaks in a declarative monotone even when describing completely ridiculous situations where gym class lessons would come in handy.
- A Day in the Limelight: Her debut episode, "The Coach." Where she heckles Gumball to being more fit and stands up for him against The Dreaded school bully, Jamie.
- Fully-Dressed Cartoon Animal: Something she has in common with her daughter.
- Lady Looks Like a Dude: Despite the voice and gender-neutral-to-masculine appearance, Coach is actually a woman, something Gumball and Darwin didn't realize until the end of her introductory episode. Specifically, she's Jamie's mom.
- Larynx Dissonance: Like Tina, she is female but voiced by a man—the same man who
previously voiced Tina, in fact. - Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy: She's a giant red cube with a man's voice; her husband is a tiny green man with an effeminate voice. Given her daughter looks somewhat like her father but nothing like her, this is probably also an Interspecies Romance.
- The Münchausen: She claims to have won at least three gold medals. The only proof she has are pictures (or just one picture) where she looks exactly the same as she does now and takes up the entire picture, and some of the details are blatant nonsenselike.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: Only called "Coach" until "The Compilation", where she mentions her last name is "Russo".
- Out of Focus: She has three appearances in season 5, and does not speak in any of those episodes. In season 6, she has another speaking role, but she is still out of focus.
- Running Gag: Trying (and failing) to whistle.
- Sarcasm-Blind: She demonstrates inability to understand sarcasm when trying to explain the use for skills learned in P.E.Coach: Let me paint you a picture. You're being chased by another pack of angry dogs. You've reached a ravine with only asymmetric bars allowing you to reach the other side. They want your pen. What do you do?
Gumball: I guess I'd just turn on my jet pack, fly over the ravine, land in my flying car, and drive to space.
Coach: That's completely unrealistic. - Sports Hero Backstory: Coach claims to have won gold medals at several different Olympic events, but it's pretty obvious that's she's making it all up.
- Tiny Guy, Huge Girl: She absolutely towers over her husband. Then again, her husband is quite short (short enough that Jamie, their daughter, is taller than him if you remove his head piece).
Mr. Moonchild Corneille
"If you rearrange the letters of 'tough fighter guy', you get 'tighter of hug guy'."
Voiced by: Simon Lipkin
Debut: Season 4, "The Others"
Last appearance: Season 6, "The Inquisition"
A pixellated frog who teaches eighth-grade geography.
- Believing Their Own Lies: In "The Cage" he lets Joan believe he's a cage fighter to impress her, but ends up thinking he really is an amazing fighter.
- Cool Teacher: He tries to fit the mold of a stereotypical cool teacher who students seek guidance from. He also clearly has no idea what he's talking about outside of the school subject he teaches.
- A Day in the Limelight: In "The Cage," where he tricks everyone into thinking that he's a cage fighter.
- Embarrassing First Name: "Moonchild"
- Hippie Name: In "The Cage," laid-back geography teacher Mr. Corneille reveals to his girlfriend, Nurse Joan Markham, that his first name is Moonchild. She decides to just stick with calling him Corneille.
- Iconic Item: A geography textbook with a picture of him on the back.
- Ice-Cream Koan: Corneille's life advice is meaningless, contradictory nonsense.Mr. Corneille: If you only remember one thing I've taught you, it's this: question everything.
Clare: Why?
Mr. Corneille: No, don't question that. Question everything except that.
Clare: So it's "question everything unquestioningly"?
Mr. Corneille: Yes. I think. - Mellow Fellow: Corneille tries to come off as relaxed, but seems to exert himself to a ridiculous degree in doing so. While holding a conversation with Clare, he switches between different "relaxed" poses (laying on the desk, sunk into the chair) every time he's off camera.
- One-Man Band: On "The Uploads", there's an online video (called "Corneille'd It") of Mr. Corneille playing a cello and a kazoo at the same time.
- Smug Smiler: He's always smiling, probably trying to look friendly, but it mostly makes him look self-satisfied and idiotic.
Nurse Joan Markham
"No, I haven't lost weight. No, I haven't done something new with my hair. No, you don't have the Bubonic Plague. No, you can't have a second opinion on that, therefore, no, you cannot get a note to skip gym class."
Voiced by: Sandra Searles Dickinson
Debut: Season 1, "The Mystery"
Last appearance: Season 6, "The Agent"
The school's put-upon nurse, a living adhesive bandage, who has to deal with Gumball and Darwin trying to get out of gym class, Teri the paper bear's hypochondria, and Miss Simian's bad attitude.
- Astonishingly Appropriate Appearance: She's a nurse and a living band-aid—as are most of the other medical personnel in the show, including doctors and paramedics.
- A Day in the Limelight: She acts as Corneille's love interest in "The Cage".
- Arch-Enemy: In her opinion, Teri is the student she dislikes the most. Justified, as Teri is normally bratty and angsty.
- Dressed to Heal: Wears a white cap with a red cross, and a white dress with another cross. Definitely a nurse.
- Dr. Jerk: Having to put up with Gumball and Darwin looking for doctor's notes, Teri's hypochondria and other general craziness has left her a tad cantankerous.
- Fully-Dressed Cartoon Animal: Assuming the dress and shoes aren't just part of her body.
- I'm a Doctor, Not a Placeholder: When people keep sending Bobert her way for fixing, she reminds them she isn't a mechanic. In "The Advice", she gives up on trying to fix Teri because she has no artistic skills. Miss Simian points out that Elmore has all kinds of weird students, so she should just shut up and deal with it.
- Nerd Glasses: She wears enormously oversized eye glasses—or rather lenses inexplicably attached to her face.
- New Job as the Plot Demands: She is mostly a nurse, but is a paramedic in "The Singing", "The Law", "The Father", and "The Potion". She is also a surgical assistant in "The Compilation" and "The Parking" and a physician in "The Love". She is a nurse at a hospital in "The Test".
- No Name Given: Her name was not mentioned until "The Cage", six seasons in.
- Sphere Eyes: She has them.
- Tuckerization: Named after writer Joe Markham.
