open/close all folders
Suction Cup Man
Suction Cup Man
"Da-da-da-da-da! Suction Cup Man! Look at me go!"
A man who loves using suction cups to climb various objects and the titular protagonist.Voiced by: Silas "ProBluesPlayer" McDonnell
- A Lighter Shade of Black: He's a total Jerkass, but he's nowhere near as bad as North Korea Boy and Satan.
- Awesome Aussie: Implicitly; "Business or Pleasure" has him briefly drop the screechy obnoxious voice in a moment of genuine despair, and he has a noticeable Australian accent. Justified, as his voice actor is Australian himself.
- Card-Carrying Jerkass: Takes pride in being an irritating asshole.
- Character Catchphrase:
- "Look at me go!"
- "Fuck you!"
- "Hey, I wrote you a song! It goes a little something like this!"
- Crazy-Prepared: He has a huge pile of suction cups in case he loses or gets his current pair of suction cups taken away. When those get taken away, he buys a bunch of suction cup dildos to replace the pile of suction cups. Also, his backpack contains a parachute in case he ever falls and a spare guitar.
- Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu?: Played for Laughs. The entire premise of "One Hell of a Climb" where Suction Cup Man does end up dying and going to Hell, but he also escapes Hell with minimal effort while singing a song about how Satan should "eat a dick".
- Driven to Suicide: Nearly hangs himself with bondage rope after failing to find an alternate method of climbing buildings.
- Determinator: When Business Guy threatens to take him to court again for climbing on his windows with dildos, SCM goes on a long speech saying that suing him won't stop him because he will use any form of suction cup to climb.
- Everybody Has Standards: He very clearly tells others not to look up 'suction cup therapy'.
- A Fool for a Client: He represents himself in "Business or Pleasure" in court. It doesn't end well for him.
- Hated by All: To the point where the police won't arrest Business Guy for his indirect hand in Suction Cup Man's (brief) death.Suction Cup Man: Officers, arrest this man for attempted murder!
Officer 1: We know who you are, and we're not doing that.
Suction Cup Man: Fair enough. - His Name Really Is "Barkeep": When asked what his actual name is by Business Guy, his response is "Suction Cup Man". Considering how both the US President and a court case exclusively use "Suction Cup Man" when describing him, it's all but confirmed that his legal name is indeed "Suction Cup Man".
- Jerkass: He tends to enjoy smudging up peoples windows with his suction cups, inconveniencing people and generally annoying them.
- Jerkass Has a Point:
- In the first Suction Cup Man short, while he was climbing up Business Guy's tower, tells Business Guy why it'd be a bad idea to jump out of his window after him with plungers.Suction Cup Man: You are going to kill yourself!
Business Guy: Fuck you, watch me! (jumps out the window and immediately falls)
Suction Cup Man: (Beat) For a guy in a suit, you're pretty fuckin' stupid! - In the fourth video, he defends himself in court saying he never damaged Business Guy's tower, in contrary to what the latter and his lawyer claimed, save for smudging up the windows. He probably could've won his case if he had stopped dicking around.
- In the first Suction Cup Man short, while he was climbing up Business Guy's tower, tells Business Guy why it'd be a bad idea to jump out of his window after him with plungers.
- Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: He only helps America stop North Korea for a free pass to suction cup up any building he wanted.
- Karma Houdini Warranty:
- After everything he's done to inconvenience everyone around him, he's managed to escape in almost every video he's in scotfree. He even managed to escape Hell. However, in Suction Cup Man: The PLUSHIE, he gets turned into a plush figure by mistake and is then promptly beaten, thrown around and left inside a car. This stands out as after everything was all said and done he was visibly shaken from it, as opposed to him acting indifferent to straight-up dying.
- While he does get around it in the same episode, his antics end up with him court, and the judge has all of his suction cups confiscated, with Suction Cup Man only finally figuring out a loophole after it drives him to near-suicide.
- Loophole Abuse: Does this when he gets sued into being banned from using climbing-grade gear to climb buildings, so he uses stuff that isn't climbing-grade to continue climbing stuff. He also points out that he will use absolutely ANYTHING that counts as a suction cup if he has to, forcing Business Guy to drop the case, though Business Guy does force a condition on him to only be able to climb his tower on weekends.
- The Nicknamer: He calls Business Guy "Business Dummy" multiple times in "One Hell of a Climb", on a lesser extent he usually calls people "Bitch".
- The Napoleon: Although it's hard to tell given that he isn't usually seen standing, when he appears in court sans suction cups, he's revealed to be quite short. True to form, he's very loud, obnoxious, and aggressive. His diminutive stature adds shades of Compensating for Something to his attempts to scale tall towers, missiles, and cavern walls. (Not to mention his switch to dildos when he can no longer use suction cups.)
- Nigh-Invulnerability: Seems to be this, as he gets shot by a sniper and falls from quite the height off a tower before getting right back up and running off. It doesn't stop him from dying after getting hit by a bunch of cars that then explode however. Though when he escapes Hell, his body is completely intact.Suction Cup Man: You can't kill Suction Cup Man!
- No Indoor Voice: Suction Cup Man rarely ever lowers his voice, though this could be intentional on his part as to annoy people.
- Nominal Hero: Only risked his life to stop North Korea so he could get the chance to legally climb up a building.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: Calls the North Korea Boy a "dumpling".
- Refuge in Audacity: After being banned from using climbing-grade suction cups, he takes advantage of a loophole to use multicolored dildos with suction cups to climb Business Guy's tower, all while wearing a bandolier of dildos, having a purple one stuck onto his helmet, and rechristening himself "Penis Man".
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: He drops quite a few swears in his dialogue, and he states that his favorite words are "the vulgar ones" in his theme song.
- Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: He really likes to mess with Business Guy.
- Too Dumb to Live: If you're drifting towards the highway on a parachute, you might want to steer yourself out of the way in case your Nigh-Invulnerability doesn't cover getting hit by a car.
- Troll: At the end of "The Suck for America", he gets pardoned for stopping North Korea from launching their nuclear missile and is allowed to climb any building he chooses. Which one does he choose? The hospital that Business Guy is in.
- Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: He's a vulgar, annoying asshole who climbs up other peoples' property for shits and giggles, gets away with his antics all the time, and finds any consequences of his actions hilarious. And they are.
- Villain Protagonist: In "The Suck for America", he states that he finds Business Guy jumping out his window to attack him, only to fall and almost die to be hilarious and implies that he would enjoy starting WWIII. In "One Hell of a Climb", he even ends up in Hell when he dies (he gets better, though).
Business Guy
Guy Business
"You're smudging my windows, asshole!"
The owner of a cleaning product making company who gets routinely antagonized by Suction Cup Man.Voiced by: ZACHxFULLER
- Anti-Villain: He's an antagonist to SCM, but he just wants to be left alone and not be harassed by the asshole climbing up his building.
- Butt-Monkey: As stated above, Suction Cup Man never misses an opportunity to make this guy's life a living hell.
- The Dog Bites Back:
- "One Hell of a Climb" might as well be called "The Business Guy Bites Back". He manages to get SCM off his tower with an Anti-Suction Cup spray his company whipped up, inadvertently causes Suction Cup Man's death, and doesn't get in trouble for any of it. Even after SCM gets back from Hell, he gets the last laugh by spraying him in the face with his water gun.
- Gets a second case against SCM in "Business or Pleasure" by managing to have him legally banned from using climbing-grade suction cups. Too bad SCM had the gall to use suction cups that weren't climbing grade, forcing him to drop the case.
- Hero Antagonist: He’s not really a bad person and is just trying to defend his property from Suction Cup Man.
- His Name Really Is "Barkeep": After being called "Business Guy", it's stated in Episode 4 that his name is actually "Guy Business".
- Honest Corporate Executive: Shows no evidence of being corrupt and uses completely legal means to try and get rid of SCM.
- Karma Houdini: He doesn't get arrested for causing Suction Cup Man to drift towards the highway, because the police are fully aware of who Suction Cup Man is and know exactly how the event came to pass.
- Too Dumb to Live: In the first one he tries going after Suction Cup Man by jumping out of his window with plungers. Suction Cup Man even warns him not to do that.
The Cops
Officers Paul Ease and Buddy Ease
- Voiced by: Robin Nelson and none
- A Day in the Limelight: Officer Paul Ease appears in his own one-off short, "Routine Stop", without any of the other characters including his partner/husband until the very end.
- Donut Mess with a Cop: The mustachioed cop, in addition to looking a bit like an old-school cariacture of a cop, is shown in the remastered version of the first episode returning to his car with his partner from the donut shop.
- Dissonant Serenity: Officer Paul Ease seems to meet some of Suction Cup Man's antics with a straight face and slight amusement, including surviving both a shot to the back and a several story fall, climbing Business Guy's tower with dildos and coming back from the dead.
- High-Class Glass: Officer Paul Ease uses a monocle in lieu of reading glasses.
- Improbable Aiming Skills: The sunglasses-wearing cop is a crack shot, more than once shooting down SCM without actually hitting him.
- The Main Characters Do Everything: Normally depicted as patrol officers, in "Business or Pleasure" they function as bailiffs in the civil court proceeding at the beginning of the episode.
- No Name Given: The sunglasses-wearing cop is never named onscreen. Even the mustachioed cop has never been named in dialogue, only in the credits.
- Perpetual Frowner: The sunglasses-wearing cop never smiles, or even changes expression.
- Punny Name: "Paul Ease" is a phonetic pun on "police". Likewise, "Buddy Ease" is somewhat similar to "buddies".
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Generally depicted as benign and competently going about their jobs.
- Straight Gay: Revealed to be a married couple, but show no signs of explicit queerness.
- Those Two Guys: Never seen apart. In episode 4 they are both wearing wedding rings; Piemations confirmed that they are "married and madly in love"
. - The Voiceless: The sunglasses-wearing cop never speaks.
One-off Characters
President
"The hatch is high up on the missile and, frankly, that would take a very expensive ladder."
The president of the United States. Employed Suction Cup Man's help against North Korea on one occasion.Voiced by: ZACHxFULLER
- Blunt "Yes": His response towards Suction Cup Man questioning if he honestly believes North Korea will attack the United States.
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Some of his dialog at least suggests this (like claiming that without Suction Cup Man's help, it would take a really expensive ladder to get to the hatch on the missile).
- Expy: Of Donald Trump (obviously), combined with a more traditional "action movie" president.
- Trumplica: Based on the then-president when episode two came out. This is funny considering the series premise is based on the case of someone trying to climb Trump Tower with suction cups.
- Wrong Genre Savvy: He seems to believe SCM is looking for a way to atone for the damage he did, not realizing he's an unapologetic asshole.President: I understand that you may believe your suction cups can only bring destruction and sadness.
Suction Cup Man: What? God no, it was hilarious.
North Korea Boy
"You may have delayed my plans this time, Man With Suction Cup. But, you won't be around next time I- OH, FUCK!"
Voiced by: Robin Nelson
- Big Bad: Of "The Suck For America".
- The Caligula: It's implied he's invading America for fun and he openly proclaims to be his peoples' god.
- Expy: He looks like a thinner version of Kim Jong Un.
- A God Am I: As stated above, he proclaims to be the god of his country.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: He calls Suction Cup Man an "American dog".
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: When he finds out Suction Cup Man survived falling out of the sky, he shuts down his missile program, quoted as saying "fuck, I don't know" in the newspaper.
- Sir Swears Alot: Second only to Suction Cup Man.
- Villainous Breakdown: While he's already angry about Suction Cup Man being on his missile, he loses it when Suction Cup Man tells him he was hired by the American government, in which case he decides to launch the missile right then and there.
Satan
"Hi, welcome to Hell, enjoy your punishment."
Voiced by: Michael Edwards
- Big Bad: Of "One Hell of a Climb".
- Big Red Devil: So big, in fact, that he towers over most of his dimension.
- Deadpan Snarker: He throws in some snide comments throughout the episode, like the comment above and sarcastically breaking even with Suction Cup Man when he says that Satan's the most fucked. However, his last comment fell flat.Suction Cup Man: Boom! Me one, Satan zero!
Satan: Well, you're stuck in Hell, so let's call it even between us.
Suction Cup Man: Cool! I'm as evil as Satan! Can we team up? - The Devil Is a Loser: He's unable to do anything to stop Suction Cup Man from leaving Hell, and when he tells Satan to eat a dick, all he can come up with is "you eat a dick..." after he left. He's also unable to come up with a viable reason as to why Suction Cup Man can't leave other than "you're not supposed to".
- Evil Sounds Deep: As per being Satan, this is basically a given.
- Harmless Villain: Even more so than North Korea Boy, in that he posed no danger to begin with.
- Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: He gets one hit on SCM, disintegrating his guitar, and proceeds to miss every following shot, with most of them not even hitting the pillar SCM was climbing on.
Wizard
"Violent dumbass, heart so rotten! Become soft with a heart of cotton! A twisted soul who yelled and swore, cause a ruckus nevermore!"
Voiced by: Damien Lee
- Artifact of Doom: The suction cups he has are implied to be this, as he protects them from falling into the wrong hands (aka Suction Cup Man).
- Heel–Face Turn: Attempted to invoke this on Suction Cup Man with magic, he turned him into a stuffed toy instead by mistake.
- Hero Antagonist: Aside from the otherwise neutral Business Guy, most of the antagonists Suction Cup Man had gone up against were typically worse than him. The Wizard, by comparison, is a lot more pleasant than the other three and had initially tried to force Suction Cup Man into a Heel–Face Turn via magic.
- Hypocrite: Part of his spell to turn Suction Cup Man into a plushie calls him a "twisted soul who yelled and swore." Despite this, he's got a mouth just as dirty as the average SCM character.
- Humiliation Conga: He accidentally invokes this onto Suction Cup Man when he turns him into a stuffed toy, which prompts him into an advertisement where he gets abused throughout the entirety of it.
- Let's Get Dangerous!: Unlike everyone else Suction Cup Man had faced, The Wizard actually proves to be too much for him, Suction Cup Man never even gets the better of him.
- Power Incontinence: He accidentally turned Suction Cup Man into a toy while trying to force him into a Heel–Face Turn by making him "become soft with a heart of cotton".
- Rhymes on a Dime: Being a wizard, he speaks like this. Until Suction Cup Man ticks him off, which then subverts the trope.
Judge Carter
"Suction Cup Man, I find you guilty of all charges. You are hereby banned from owning any climbing-grade suction cups. Your suction cups will be seized, and auctioned off. Court is adjourned."
Voiced by: Ty Harper
- Hero Antagonist: Much like the wizard, he's a regular judge just doing his job. Suction Cup Man's antics drive him to invoke his authority, entirely justifiably.
- Let's Get Dangerous!: When Suction Cup Man proves to be incapable of being civil, the judge throws the book at him hard, and Suction Cup Man never gets the better of him either (the best he can do is get Business Guy to withdraw his case, with conditions), to the point of him having the last word in the episode's "fuck you" exchange.
- No, You: After finding Suction Cup Man guilty and coming down on him hard, SCM tries his classic "Fuck you" exchange; not only does it not work, but Judge Carter gets the last word in.Carter: Suction Cup Man, I find you guilty of all charges. You are hereby banned from owning any climbing-grade suction cups. Your suction cups will be seized and auctioned off. Court is adjourned! (crumples court order and throws it in his face)
SCM: (catches order and reads it) WHAT?! FUCK YOU!
Carter: No, (slams gavel) fuck YOU! - Rage Breaking Point: After Suction Cup Man dicks around too much in the court, Carter decides enough is enough, finds him guilty of all charges, and orders the seizure and auction of his suction cups before tossing the order into his face.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: He does not mess around when it comes to decisively dealing with Suction Cup Man's antics, and with entirely justified reasons.
- Scary Black Man: Justified and Downplayed. Judge Carter looks middle-aged and doesn't look all that intimidating, but he's still a judge; by his position alone, you don't want to aggravate the man who decides your fate in the court. Suction Cup Man learned the hard way when he kept dicking around, making Carter come down on him hard when he's had it with his antics.
