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Characters / Pit People

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A list of characters who appear in Pit People. Currently under construction, please contribute! FULL OF SPOILERS, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

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Main Characters

    Horatio 
The main protagonist. A humble blueberry farmer, until the Narrator decides to make him a Cosmic Plaything.

By default, Horatio uses a sword and heavy shield, making him good against ranged units.
  • Cosmic Plaything: The Narrator absolutely despises Horatio for really no reason. Horatio has thugs sent to kill him, loses his son and his house, is forced to give all his blueberries to Pipistrella, and gets tossed to new areas at random.
  • Improvised Weapon: His default loadout is a box cutter and a broken-off fence, which he grabbed to fight off the bandits.
  • Luckily, My Shield Will Protect Me: Carries a shield crudely improvised from a section of farmyard fence. Somehow, it successfully protects him when his party - and the entire universe for that matter — is eradicated by Honey Kiss during the latter's Villainous Breakdown.
  • Roaring Rampage of Revenge: After the Narrator crushes his son with butterfingers, Horatio goes on one of these. It turns out that Hansel was never actually killed, only kidnapped, so he instead goes to rescue him.
  • Stone Wall: He's outfitted to be quite tanky and he shrugs off ranged attacks, but his damage is on the low end.
  • Set Right What Once Went Wrong: In the Encore, after the Speckled Horse provides a Reset Button Ending, Horatio ignores the tutorial to escape the farm with his son before the raiders arrive. He then goes on to warn Pipistella and her father about the impending Helmetite attack, and prevents Gluten from being used as bait by the bridge bandits.

    Hansel 
Horatio's son. The Narrator crushes him in the first battle of the game, but it turns out Hansel was only kidnapped.

    Pipistrella 
A very capable princess Horatio meets while looking for shelter. She asks for help against Helmetor's warriors invading her castle. In the battle, her father, Papastrella, gives her the royal staff before dying.

By default, Pip uses a mallet in combat, shredding through armored units.
  • Armor-Piercing Attack: Her mallet is made to crush shielded enemies.
  • Blood Knight: Gives a few hints that she really enjoys fighting.
  • In-Series Nickname: Most characters call her "Pip".
  • Ship Tease: In the cutscene after Helmetor is defeated, Horatio bats back Honey Kiss' paw when the latter was forcibly making Pip smile, and Honey Kiss suggests that they're bonding.
  • Vengeance Feels Empty: Implied to be the case after the party slays Helmetor, which earns a bit of Lampshade Hanging from Honey Kiss.
    Honey Kiss: You're depressing me, Pip; why the long face? Your hands are bloody with the sweet tang of revenge. Problem solved, right?
  • Warrior Princess: A badass bruiser who was raised as a princess.

    Yosef 
A demi-clops who knows his way around The Pit. He binds his soul to Horatio then joins the group.

By default, Yosef dual-wields throwing axes, giving him a medium range.

    Sofia 
A conquistador from Spain, claiming this new land and the people within for her country. She joins up with the party after crashing her boat.

Sofia wields a short sword as well as the Recruitment Net. With the net, Sofia can tie enemies down from range. If there's only one enemy left, Sofia instead traps the enemy in a cage, recruiting them for your team!
  • The Conqueror: She sets out to be this from Spain. Every time you discover a new area, she pops up with a flag and adorable smile.
  • Inescapable Net: Her default loadout gives her one, which is the only way to recruit enemies.
  • Weak, but Skilled: She has the worst combat skills of the main characters, but is extremely important for getting new recruits.

    Gluten 
An adorable sapient cupcake who was kidnapped by roadside bandits and used for food. After you defeat the bandits, he happily joins your party.

Gluten in combat is identical to the regular Cupcake units. For tropes related to them, see below.

    The Narrator 
A guy with a British accent and a serious hatred for Horatio. It turns out he's actually Honey Kiss, another Space Bear like Honey Hug.
  • Affably Evil: Honey Kiss outright states that he's evil, yet he's affable enough to offer his captive, Hansel, some ice cream.
  • Ambiguously Related: The relationship between Honey Kiss and Honey Hug is never elaborated on. Are they close friends? Lovers? Brothers? Father and son? It is left completely up in the air. In the epilogue sequence he does say Honey Hug was his "best friend", so we can probably cross off family from the list of possibilities... Probably.
  • Bears Are Bad News: He's a huge, planet-sized bear who relishes in sowing chaos across our world.
  • Card-Carrying Villain: He outright refers to what he's doing as "being evil." He does say it's tiring though, and in the final cutscene, points out that he hasn't actually killed anyone.
  • Even Evil Has Standards:
    • When Yosef eats Uvulor, the Narrator is visibly disgusted.
    • As blatantly evil as he was being, he is horrified when he destroys the universe using Hatty Hattington's laser.
  • Happy Dance: After beating the second playthrough, the ending shows Honey Kiss in his original state, dancing happily while the resurrected Honey Hug ominously glowers.
  • In Love with Your Carnage: Loves violence and will react enthusiastically when PCs get a good kill streak going. He also approves of Helmitor's violent raid of Pipistrella's castle enough to facilitate his escape via errant space shuttle.
  • Interactive Narrator: He exists within the world itself, and is delightfully hostile towards people trying to disrupt his 'fun'.
  • Large Ham: The Narrator has his moments based on what we've seen from him.
    Narrator: I SAID HORATIO DIES!!! (giant furry arm smashes Horatio's house, with his son in it) OOPS! BUTTERFINGERS!!!
  • Lemony Narrator: Well, for starters, he's the main antagonist… and he really hates Horatio's goody-goodiness.
    And so, with nothing but a handful of blueberries and a stupid look on his face, Horatio set out to find some shelter, burdened with the realization that none of this would have happened had he listened, and to make matters worse he's got weak arms, and he's not all that handsome, I don't see what all the fuss is about.
  • Orgasmic Combat: He gets a little, uhh, excited when the player gets multikills.
  • Shipper on Deck: During their initial face-to-face confrontation, Honey Kiss suggests that Horatio and Pip are "bonding". Earlier, when Pip is introduced, the Narrator calls her a "beautiful lady" and announces that Horatio shares his blueberries with her, over Horatio's confused protests. The Narrator later claims that Horatio is so smitten with Pip that he forgot all about his dead son Hansel and gave her the rest of his blueberries, again over Horatio's protests.
  • Talkative Loon: Fond of long, rambling run-on sentences.
  • Technical Pacifist: Honey Kiss is mad with grief, but insists that he's not killing anyone, though he is sending down hordes of enemies to kill people for them. In the finale of the initial playthrough, succeeding in killing everyone else in the entire solar system except Hansel and Horatio in a fit of rage leaves him horrified with himself as he slinks away into the darkness of space and leaves the father and son in peace.
  • Villainous Breakdown: He has a minor one at the beginning when Horatio refuses to die. He has a much much larger one after the heroes destroy one of his star-nipples and he reveals his past.
  • Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: He plunges the entire world into chaos because his… mate? Let's go with mate… was killed senselessly by Hatty Hattington back in Battleblock Theater.

Notable Figures

    Jerkimedes 
A "Magical Jerk" who led a bunch of cannibals to Horatio's house. May or may have not kick-started the plot, considering Honey Kiss was already pretty pissed at the time.
  • Jerkass: He's literally named Jerkimedes. He apparently was always a jerk, but the hat he wears amped up his jerkiness.
  • Jerkass to One: Downplayed. He's a Jerkass to everyone, but seems to love messing with Horatio the most.
  • Redemption Demotion: Loses all his magical abilities when he's eventually recruited, most likely the result of Horatio removing his evil hat.

    King Papastrella 
Pipistrella's father, who gets killed from his own castle collapsing on him after getting wrecked by the Helmitites.
  • Go Out with a Smile: In his last moments before he gets killed by the collapsing ceiling, he looks at his daughter with a smile, likely being content with knowing she can fend for herself.
  • Papa Wolf: At the sight of his daughter being ganged up on, he immediately gives her his scepter so she can defend herself.
  • Staff of Authority: One with his name engraved on it. He gives it to his daughter so she can protect herself.

    Helmitor 
The leader of the Helmitites, a gang of grumpy warriors who raid Pipistrella's castle.
  • Arch-Enemy: To Pipistrella following the death of her father.
  • Jerkass: He and his Helmitites are never given a reason for raiding Pipistrella's castle other than for the sake of wreaking havoc.
  • Non-Human Head: His head is revealed to be that of a bird's when his helmet gets knocked off.
  • Starter Villain: The first major villain to be fought by Horatio and the gang.

    Chog 
A giant squid-monster-thing that lives in a lake of bubbling blood.
  • Flunky Boss: Does zero actual fighting, he just summons mini cycloptopuses and lets Uvulor shoot his energy mortar at our heroes.
  • God Guise: He's just a giant sea-blood monster who's successfully duping everyone
  • Karma Houdini: Doesn't appear to die when Uvulor is captured, only knocked out, and his disciples still appear on the world map.

    Uvulor 
Yosef's half-brother. A demiclops parasite who resides in Chog.
  • Cyclops: Has one eye.
  • Eaten Alive: By Yosef after getting defeated, thus making the latter his new host.

Just Us League

    General 
  • Fake Ultimate Hero: According to Captain Chrysanthemum, and the league themselves, they don't save anyone, and it's implied that they've done nothing but run annual competitions where Captain Punch has to scam people into paying a entry fee. The contestants might also be this, as both General Sod and Death Breath's team can be hurt by their own "powers" which just seem like predicting how the flora react to their actions.

    Captain Chrysanthemum 
The leader of the group. A scammer.
  • Badass Normal: Well, weakass normal; he doesn't appear to have any powers beyond possibly ignoring the weight limit on equipment, something that's to be expected, at least until he picks up the Thousand Shards.
  • Dirty Coward: The first time he's thought, he flees the moment he starts to bleed.
  • Flower Motif: He's named after a chrysanthemum flower and his hood resembles one.

    Pollen Boy 
Captain Chrysanthemum's right-hand man and the host of the Just Us League's tournaments.
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Goes hand-in-hand with the league itself being full of FakeUltimateHeroes. He's all enthusiasm when hosting the tournaments, but is shown just as much of a jerk as his boss in the final part of the quest.
  • Eye Scream: Units that get hit by his pollen attacks go blind temporarily.
  • Flower Motif: He's named after pollen, but he still dresses like a flower, and flowers carry pollen.
  • Given Name Reveal: Smarticus addresses him by his real name, "Jerome". He tries to claim that it isn't, but Smarticus points out that Jerome isn't even wearing a mask.
  • The Host: Of the Just Us League's tournaments.

    Mr. Punch 
The Just Us League's ticket guy. Until he gets kicked out for the last mission.
  • Badass Normal: Besides the ability to literally throw his fists like rocks, he's a "Standard Human".
  • Heel–Face Turn: If the player chooses to, he can join the Pit people after leaving and help them beat up the Just Us League.

    General Sod 
Named after Superman villain General Zod, the first contestant you meet in the Just Us League quest. He can control plants; giant thorns to be specific.

    Drain Thane 
A viking/plumber themed Hero. He turns any tile he stands on into water.

    Grammar Raptor 
A "hero" themed around dinosaurs and grammar.
  • What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: Played with. His grammar questions seem like nothing more than lame distractions, and even Drain Thane thinks he sucks, but answer incorrectly, and all of the player's units will take damage!

    Final Question 
A Deathwraith. He has the ability to damage and confuse all units around him.
  • Confusion Fu: His main gimmick. His questions confuse anyone within his range.
    "If you're trying to fail, do you succeed when you lose?"

Other Quest Characters

    Scrumptious 
A cupcake who is friends with Gluten.
  • Distressed Dude: In every single quest involving Scrumptious, there's always someone trying to eat him. The first time, it's a boy who wants to eat him for his birthday, the second time, a to-be-wed couple wants to eat him as part of their wedding's catering, and the third time it's a food critic.
  • Plot-Mandated Friendship Failure: At the end of the second quest involving him, Scumptious and Gluten have a temporary falling out, which leads into the third quest, where the player has the option to either still try to save Scrumptious, or team up with the food critic who's planning to eat him. If the player chooses the former option, then Scrumptious and Gluten will mend their friendship when the whole ordeal is over.

    Rub Savory 
A renowned food critic who appears in the final quest relating to Scrumptious.
  • Final Boss: If the player chooses to defend Scrumptious, he'll become this for the Scrumptious quest line.

    Mayor Rumptrumpet 
The mayor of Tinkletown.
  • Election Day Episode: The final Tinkletown quest involves helping Rumptrumpet get re-elected as Mayor by protecting his voters from the voters of his rival. The player wins if Rumptrumpet is re-elected.

    Whizz Kid 
The janitor of Tinkletown.
  • Bring My Brown Pants: Shortly after he's introduced, he's revealed to be the one pooping in Tinkletown at night due to the monsters that come out at night literally scaring the crap out of him.
  • Face–Heel Turn: Upon completion of the third Tinkletown quest, Whizz Kid promises to come clean to Mayor Rumptrumpet. In the final Tinkletown quest, he goes back on his word and chooses to compete in the election against Rumptrumpet.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: If the player successfully helps Rumptrumpet win the election, the Pit People expose Whizz Kid as the one pooping in the city at night. As punishment, Whizz Kid is escorted off to jail.

Units

    Humans 
The most versatile unit class. They can be equipped with a variety of weapons, giving them significantly different fighting styles.
  • Humans Are Average: They don't excel in any area, but can be made into any combat role with the right weapon.
  • Jack of All Stats: They have middle-of-the-road stats and no special attributes, instead focusing on variety.
  • Simple, yet Awesome: Nowhere near as flashy or fun as the weirdo units throughout the game, but they don't have any specific weaknesses and their adaptability is unparalleled.

    Cupcakes 
Sapient cupcake people. They act as Actual Pacifist healers who fling icing to injured allies, restoring their health.

    Cyclopses 
Hulking brutes with one eye. They can be outfitted with many weapons like humans, and have access to the mega-powered heavy mallet weapon type. They can also send enemies flying and walk through water unimpaired. However, they're limited to melee and take up two unit slots.

    Electrobots 
Flying robots with plug-ins for fists. They can shoot lightning chains and can stun enemies in melee range. However, they cannot be healed by Cupcakes, instead needing to be repaired by Gnomes.

    Gnomes 
Little creatures in hoverchairs. They attack by throwing wrenches and can fling allies to new locations. They will also heal badly damaged Electrobots. They only require half of a unit slot.
  • Cool Chair: They always fly around in a hoverchair, with varying degrees of coolness depending on the cosmetic equipped.
  • Fastball Special: They can fling allies into the thick of the fight, potentially quite far away.
  • Gadgeteer Genius: They build miraculous inventions. This is represented in their gameplay through sheer versatility — they can be healers, ally-launchers, and ranged fighters. And, you can have two in one slot.
  • Our Gnomes Are Weirder: Little green men in hoverchairs. According to their journal entry, their feet have atrophied since they've "evolved beyond the need for walking".
  • Percussive Maintenance: They heal by literally throwing wrenches.

    Gorgons 
Snake ladies that spit acid on enemies. Every time a Gorgon takes damage, they have a chance to spawn a snake, which is a Mook that can absorb some hits. They can control up to three at one time. Gorgons take up two unit slots.
  • Gorgeous Gorgon: They have rather attractive faces and figures, snakiness aside. The façade drops somewhat when they spit, which has them take on something of a Nightmare Face.
  • Mook Maker: Their main strategy is attempting to soak up lots of little hits, creating an army of snakes.
  • Reverse Arm-Fold: They always stand like this, which makes them look even more snake-like. Detailed art shows them with normal arms, though.
  • Taken for Granite: Gorgons turn to stone on death.

    Hair Trolls 
Scary monsters made of hair. They deal immense damage and can fling enemies around the battlefield. They also regenerate their health each turn. However, they're cripplingly weak to fire and take up two slots.

    Kobolds 
Lizardy rogues that swarm enemies. They take less damage from arrows and fire and they are the fastest unit in the game, making them exelent archer hunters. They take up half a unit slot.
  • Fragile Speedster: They can cover far distances and attack quickly, but have low health.
  • Lizard Folk: Described as "if raptors and goblins had a baby".

    Mascots 
A weird thing in a costume with a large instrument on its back. It has a weak melee attack, but its real strength comes from its passive effect. All allies around the Mascot deal extra damage, have higher defense, heal more, and are more accurate.
  • The Bard: Fills this traditional role.
  • The Faceless: No one knows what these guys actually are, since they're always in costume. They do kinda sound like ducks, though.
  • Status Buff: Provides one to all surrounding units.
  • Support Party Member: While they can attack, they're best left in the backline to buff up your ranged units.

    Mushrooms 
Sturdy and slow mushroom men. They attack by unleashing purple fart clouds, poisoning all characters around them.

    Octoclopses 
Mono-eyed flying squids and masters of deception. They're squishy and fire ink blots at enemies. Ink blots have a chance to confuse enemies, causing them to attack nearby allies. Ink also has a low chance to completely repaint the target, letting you take control of them for one turn.
  • Confusion Fu: Their main advantage. Rather than get into the fight themselves, they use mind control and Friendly Fire abilities.
  • Cyclops: Actually averted. They're such masters of deception, they only make you think they have one eye.
  • Heel–Face Brainwashing: Basically what ink does for one turn.
  • Leaning on the Fourth Wall: How do their Mind Manipulation abilities work? Well, they spray ink on the target, changing their team colour. Either they get a little ink and get confused which team they're on, or they get soaked and think they're on the other team for a turn.
  • Weak, but Skilled: Not too high on the damage department, and their health is quite poor. Instead, Octoclopses force enemies to fight each other.

    Pixies 
Little screaming humans with insect wings. They attack by unleashing waves of fire, or by creating an explosion.

    Rainbow Horses 
Derpy horses with rainbow manes and conical horns. They fire long-ranged high damage horn mortars that stick into the ground, exploding after a random number of turns. The longer the horn sticks, the more damage it does.

    Spidaurs 
Half woman, half spider, half horse. Spidaurs produce web walls between themselves and terrain or other Spidaurs, and have a chance to snare enemies they hit in melee. Additionally, ranged units can be ordered to mount a Spidaur, protecting them from most damage until the Spidaur is slain.
  • All Webbed Up: Inflicts this on enemies.
  • Horse Archer: The main point of a Spidaur is letting your archers move without fear of attack or suffering movement penalties.
  • Our Centaurs Are Different: They have the general style of a centaur, but the horse part is contorted into the shape of a spider's body.
  • Spider People: Has this basic body shape, although with the colouring of a normal centaur.

    Troll Moms 
Massive Hair Trolls. Troll Moms deal minimal damage, but have a large chance to summon a Troll Baby every turn. Troll Babies are essentially smaller Hair Trolls, lacking the flinging attack but making up for that by being Cannon Fodder. Both the mom and her babies have the same regeneration and fire weakness as normal trolls. However, the Troll Mom requires an astounding three unit slots.
  • All Trolls Are Different: The same troll species as the aforementioned Hair Trolls.
  • Giant Mook: The biggest units in the game, so big that they take up 3 slots in a party, being the only unit with this disticntion.
  • Mook Maker: All she does is form Baby Trolls to engage in combat for her.
  • Regenerating Health: Both her and her babies have this. With all four babies on the field, taking them all down is a time-consuming task.

    Vampiresses 
Hideous bat monsters that suck the blood from their enemies. Vampiresses deal bonus damage based on how injured their target is, and also drain life. They can also fly a long distance on command.

    Wraiths 
Spooky ghosts in cloaks armed with scythes. They fire skulls or swing their scythes, applying a hefty damage debuff to enemies, and have a chance to strike adjacent units as well.
  • Achilles' Heel: Rainbow attacks decimate them.
  • The Grim Reaper: What their design evokes.
  • Sinister Scythe: If they're in melee range, they'll swing this instead of shooting. The scythe has a much lower chance to debuff, however.

    Zombies 
The living dead! Zombies are terrible fighters, but their attacks apply a slow effect. Also, whenever a Zombie dies, it has a chance to return to life on the spot. Each Zombie only counts for half of a unit. Being undead, they can't be healed in any way.
  • Immortal Life Is Cheap: Zombies aren't good for much other than Cannon Fodder. That said, their high numbers and resurrection make them ideal for that role.
  • No Cure for Evil: They can't be healed, although this oddly only applies to Zombies and not Wraiths.
  • Resurrective Immortality: Potentially, although each subsequent resurrection during the same combat lowers the chance of the Zombie coming back.
  • Revenant Zombie: They can engage in some dialogues just the same as any player unit, although Mook Zombies tend to stay quiet.
  • Status Effects: Of the ailment variety. Their attacks have a chance to slow down those who get hit, forcing them to only be able to move one space in any direction for the next turn.

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