Characters appearing in Internet Historian's videos.
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Internet Historian
- Author Avatar: "Hide the Pain Harold". He even uses footage of the same guy's TED Talk in one episode.
- Cloudcuckoolander: IH's character is… odd to say the least:
- He steals a bell from the Costa Concordia just to throw it into the ocean a few years later.
- He gets distracted by a frisbee after the Fyre Festival collapses in flames and decides to live like a caveman for the next few years, on a massively populated island in the Bahamas.
- He locks Internet Herstorian out of his bunker during the Y2K apocalypse even though its a two-person bunker.
- He apparently has a habit of breaking into other people's homes to play with their dollhouses.
- He eats silica ("tiny rice") and complains about it making his "tummy feel dry."
- His intros to the "In The Field" sections say it all really:
IH: "Why do they call them all buildings when they are no longer in construction? They should be called 'builts'! And why do they always use that blue paper for plans? And why is nobody outside? And why can't I get into this house? And why are they calling the cops? And why won't the voices in my head stop? And who gave me this gun?IH: "Is this goose an art? More importantly, when is art? And when is dinner? And where are my pants? And where am I? Have you seen my mum? I'm lost and confused, please help me!" - Deadpan Snarker: His trademark speaking voice. No matter how weird the topic is, he'll never rise beyond mild bemusement.
- Major Injury Underreaction: He doesn't notice at all when he catches fire in the Y2K video
Internet Her-storian
IH's fiancee and later wife who appears very sparingly. She owns a channel called YOUTUBEPEDIA
, where she covers various topics in a professional matter.
- A Day in the Limelight: The aformentioned YOUTUBEPEDIA channel has her as the host.
- Commuting on a Bus: She only appears very sparingly, either as a female voice or whenever Historian feels like he needs her around for whatever funny Framing Device his videos have.
- Distaff Counterpart: To Internet Historian.
Internet Poll Businessman
[Blank] had a brilliant idea
A businessman who represents the marketing agencies of companies that try to use the internet for free marketing. He always manages to fail spectacularly at whatever he's doing and never learns from these mistakes. He makes a return in "TheVarus Strakes Buck" to help the celebrities keep the public entertained and happy. It goes as well as you expect.
- Genre Blind: He never learns from the many, many past times he gave the Internet any kind of say in his businesses' marketing and had the Internet promptly abuse it for comedy.
- Phrase Catcher: Is associated with the phrase "(X) had a brilliant idea".
- Obfuscating Stupidity: "Serious Business" suggests that he's not as dumb or disconnected as his previous appearances seem, and may or may not have been the culprit in alerting /b/ to Agile 2013's Twitter screens.
- Only Sane Man: In "TheVarus Strakes Buck", where he's in a Zoom call with various celebrities trying to rally them to keep the public's spirits up during lockdowns, only for them to repeatedly prove to be sheltered from and out of touch with the public.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: He plays this trope straight once he realises that the celebrities have no hope of rallying the public during the lockdown because of their disconnect with them.
- Totally Radical: He's partly responsible for a lot of the times big brands attempt and fail at appealing to meme culture.
Steve the Improv Dude
You're dead!
A stage performer who does improvisational theatre, or at least tries to. Debuts in In The Field video "monsters." and reappears in "mythology."
- Butt-Monkey: Is only pulled out to be mocked for his bad improv abilities.
- Dork in a Sweater: Wears a black turtleneck, commonly worn by stand-up performers.
- Improv Comedy Is Inane: He is an improv comedian who's too insecure to actually pull off a good bit, begging people to tell him he's funny.
- The Magnificent: Steve the Improv Dude.
- Performance Anxiety: His most defining trait. Despite having bad performance anxiety, he still performs.
- Take That!: This Butt-Monkey improv performer is given Jimmy Kimmel's face.
- Troubled Fetal Position: Ends up in the fetal position on stage muttering "I'm funny, someone tell me I'm funny!"
Elon Musk
Thank you, thank you, all of my children.
The CEO of Tesla and SpaceX. Elon Musk leads the remnants of humanity after Earth was rendered uninhabitable due to the COVID-19 pandemic. He has colonised Mars and is now willing to send humans back to Earth. He turns out to be infected with COVID-19.
- After the End: Elon Musk leads what's left of humanity after COVID-19 ravaged Earth.
- Blood from the Mouth: Has become one of the symptoms of COVID-19. This how Elon finds out he's been infected with COVID-19.
- Cliffhanger: Subjected to this at the end of "TheVarus Strakes Buck", where he finds out he has been infected with COVID-19.
- Homeworld Evacuation: Pulled this after COVID-19 got out of control and too much for humanity to handle.
- Historical Hero Upgrade: Elon Musk in our timeline is a businessman who is an instrument in the invention of electric cars and private space travel. In IH's timeline, however, Musk is a Messianic Archetype who is responsible for the survival of humanity and the Homeworld Evacuation of Earth.
- Uncertain Doom: Due to the nature of "TheVarus Strakes Buck" ending on a cliffhanger, Elon's fate remains unknown.
Sponsor Cinematic Universe
Shadow Man
Red: Shady Lemons
- Attractive Bent-Gender: Swoons an entire club when being disguised as NordVPN Man's girlfriend.
- Breakout Character: He appears in two of The Right Opinion's videos where he gets put in the former's dungeon and dies during The Right Opinion's sponsorship.
- Disguised in Drag: Disguises himself as a girl to aid NordVPN Man in an Operation: Jealousy.
- Dropped a Bridge on Him: If one believes that The Right Opinion's videos featuring him are canon, this happens to him when he unceremoniously dies in The Right Opinion's dungeon.
- Et Tu, Brute?: Shoots Nordman multiple times since the latter possesses knowledge that he actually plays a different mobile game.
- Happily Married: To Shadow Woman. At least until she died in a plane accident. From playing Raid: Shadow Legends instead of flying the plane.
- He Knows Too Much: He actually enjoys playing Field of Tanks Mobile, and Nordman's possession of that knowledge drove him to shoot the latter multiple times.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: With Nord Man; well... kind of. He always has Nord Man's back but needless to say Nord Man never returns his kindness.
- Look-Alike Lovers: Shadow Man and Shadow Woman look almost identical to each other.
- Nuclear Family: Shadow Man, Shadow Woman, and their son and daughter.
- Romantic Wingman: He acts as one to NordVPN Man and when everyone at the club rejects him he dresses up in drag and acts as NordVPN Man's girlfriend to make everyone jealous. He also sets up Raycon Man with a date.
- Skewed Priorities: Raid: Shadow Legends is his life, and is what's more important than telling his kids that their mother died in a plane crash.
- Something Person: Shadow Man.
- Strong Family Resemblance: His children look identical to him.
-
The Woobie: His wife Shadow Woman dies in a plane crash while playing Raid Shadow Legends and is affected by her death so much that he dances with her corpse at her funeral. This makes him a single father to his kids who he genuinely loves and if The Right Opinion's videos are considered canon, dies in a dungeon along with the rest of the Youtubers The Right Opinion kidnapped. Because of this, Shadow Man's children become orphans due to the death of both of their parents. Hell, we aren't even sure if The Right Opinion will give Shadow Man a proper burial considering how he neglected the rest of his prisoners. Poor Shadow Man.
NordVPN Man / Nordman
Nordman get to the Nordhole!
- Abusive Advertising: An In-Universe example. NordVPN Man stalks a woman who he describes as a "friend" while explaining to a public audience the benefits of NordVPN. After trying to evade him, the woman ends up falling into a snake pit in Japan and is possibly eaten alive. All while NordVPN Man explains to a cheering crowd that "this wouldn't have happened if she used NordVPN!"
- Animesque: NordVPN Man has his own anime opening in "mythology."
- Biting-the-Hand Humour: (While on the run from the police and about to launch a terrorist attack) "Big thanks to Nord VPN, they're the ones who keep approving these ads!"
- Hardboiled Detective: NordVPN Man works in "Nord Investigations" as a private investigator located in downtown Nord Town.
- He Knows Too Much: Possessing all the unprotected internet information had come to bite him in the ass when Shadowman shoots him to prevent knowledge that the latter actually enjoys playing Field of Tanks Mobile.
- Jerkass: NordVPN Man is on a sliding scale of being unaware he's doing anything wrong to being a complete dick to innocent people for its own sake, and advertising NordVPN.
- Kick the Dog: In his long list of Jerkass moments he's prone to doing really mean things just to be a dick.
- In one episode he stalks a woman until she gets killed by a snake pit.
- In another episode he goes on a rampage in a city; breaking windows with bricks (and bats), throwing showers of coins off rooftops (as well as Molotov cocktails into shops) and when he gets to another city, which is on fire, he turns around saying "Looks like my work is already done".
- In his "NORD PRANKS" episode he does pretty much everything prank channels do with the exception of kidnapping a dog (which he didn't get away with because he didn't turn the vpn on) and blowing up a building for pretty much no reason.
- Noir Episode: "The Cost of Concordia" features a Film Noir-themed advertisement titled "Tales from Nord Town", where NordVPN Man plays a private investigator and has his own Private Eye Monologue.
- Palette Swap: He's an incredibly transparent reskin of Shadow Man, but with all the black replaced with NordVPN logos.
- Panty Thief: Well, used socks and woolen hat thief, but the principle is still there.
- Something Person: NordVPN Man (occasionally shortened to "Nordman").
- Stalker with a Crush: Engages in stalking various women while using these exploits to vaguely describe what benefits Nord VPN has.
- Sticky Fingers: On top of being an asshole he is also prone to stealing stuff.
Honey Man
Honey, I'm home.
- Guys are Slobs: Honey Man is constantly drenched in honey and gets honey over everything he touches. He seems oblivious to this.
- Incoming Ham:Honey Man: [kicking open door] Honey, I'm home.
- Ironic Allergy: When a bee approaches him, Honey Man calls for his EpiPen. It cuts to him on the floor with his wife shocking him with a defibrillator, implying he's severely allergic to bees.
- Lost Aesop: Honey Man tells the viewer to "say no to racism" despite the fact nothing in his ad had anything to do with race.
- Parenting the Husband: Honey Man's fed-up wife cleans his honey-induced messes. She's also the one to use the defibrillator on Honey Man when he has an allergic reaction.
- Something Person: Honey Man.
Raycon Man
Raycon good! Wires bad!
Raycon's representative in the Sponsor Cinematic Universe. He is on a quest to cut as many wires as he can and replace them all with Raycon earbuds.
- Abusive Parents: While at first Raycon's father seems rather nice, he does use his last breath to emotionally traumatise his son by shouting, "Why, son, why? You're responsible for this!"
- Ass Shove: He apparently has a recurring problem with putting his Raycon earbuds in the wrong holes.
- Catchphrase: "Raycon good! Wires bad!" Given his origin story, it could also count as Madness Mantra.
- Death by Origin Story: Raycon's father dies in his origin by being decapitated with wired headphones... with wires.
- Freudian Excuse: When his father's wired earphones get stuck in a branch, it decapitates him while Raycon watches. This event severely traumatises him and influences him to go on a quest to replace as many wires as he can with Raycon earbuds.
- Obliviously Evil: In his quest to replace as many wires as he can find with Raycon earpieces, he among other things:
- Cuts power to major cities across the entire east coast of the United States.
- Rushes in and cuts the wrong wire to a bomb - while an actual expert was already there and trying to deal with it, and had seven minutes left on the timer - blowing it up and killing many people.
- Cuts an astronaut's oxygen line, leaving him to die in space.
- Scare 'Em Straight: One Raycon advertisement is about a man who is causing untold amounts of injury, death, and destruction to himself and everything around him due to his insistence on wearing wired headphones instead of Raycon earbuds. At the end, it turns out that the whole thing was a video in this style that Raycon Man is showing to a class of schoolchildren while their teacher isn't present.
- Something Person: Raycon Man.
- Steven Ulysses Perhero: His real name is Ray Con.
- Strong Family Resemblance: Raycon Man's father and Raycon Man's infant son share a very strong resemblance to him, including the same hat and mask.
- Wacky Marriage Proposal: Raycon Man proposes to his girlfriend, Jary Mane, with Raycon earbuds.Raycon Man: Will you... seamlessly connect your Bluetooth with me?
Mother Man
Take a look at my delicious cans!
Although not an actual sponsorship, Mother Man appears as the representative of the energy drink Mother in a mock ad from the In the Field video "food."
- Accidental Innuendo: "Take a look at my delicious cans!" She's talking about her cans of Mother energy drink.
- Action Mom: She's a superhero and a busy mom.
- Ambiguously Bi: Mother Man tells the viewer she just had sex with their wife. At the same time, she has a husband.
- Berserk Button: When people refuse to drink Mother she has a sudden Mood Whiplash. It doesn't matter if you have a stomachache, are vomiting, or are diabetic; she will make you drink Mother.
- Borrowed Catchphrase: From Nord Man of all people.Mother Man: Hur Dur it's me Mother Man I just had sex with your wife.
- Cleavage Window: Mother Man's "supersuit" includes a window for her huge cans.
- Drink-Based Characterization: Her entire personality is based around the energy drink Mother. Like the beverage implies, she's energetic and motherly.
- Eskimos Aren't Real: She believes diabetes is a myth.
- Mood Whiplash: When a kid mentions he's diabetic, her smile drops and she becomes flat-faced.
- Soda Can Shakeup: She shakes a can of Mother over a group of kids to protect them from the fire.
- Something Person: Mother Man (despite being a woman).
- Thememobile: She has her own car called the Mothermobile.
- Trademark Favorite Drink: Australian energy drink Mother, of course. She loves it so much she even feeds it to her car!
Sundance Rejects
The Gentleman Pirate
See The Gentleman Pirate.
SONIC HIGH SCHOOL
Sonic
Played by: Fredrik Knudsen
- Department of Redundancy Department: Sonic (much like everyone in the story) tends to repeat himself and state the obvious constantly.
- Informed Ability: Throughout the entire fic it's claimed he has the best morals out of everyone.
- Reading the Stage Directions Out Loud: "Nothing said Sonic!" Said Sonic.
- Took a Level in Jerkass: In this fanfic, Sonic is completely self-absorbed, punching friends in the face for embarrassing him, openly contemplating raping his girlfriend while she is tied up and gagged by Eggman, openly admits he only loves her for her body and is overall just horrible towards everyone, and that's not even taking into account the remaining chapters of the story that weren't adapted into the film and the parts IH edited out.
- Gass Hole: He takes poops that shoot out of him fast like a gun shooting, implying he had a lot of gas built up behind it, the poop itself also stinks so badly the neighbours got together to discuss what to do about it.
Redoing the Game of Thrones Finale
"This truly is a game of thrones."
Jon Snow / Aegon Targaryen
- I Have No Son!: Abandons his and Daenerys' son because, in his words, he "was born a bastard, and [he'll] leave a bastard."
Daenerys Targaryen
- But I Can't Be Pregnant!: Daenerys gets pregnant despite a prophecy saying she couldn't have any children.
- Express Delivery: Daenerys gets pregnant and gives birth in a short amount of time, although the exact time is unclear.
- Skewed Priorities: Is more concerned about people thinking Jon has better hair than her than burning King's Landing.
Samwell Tarly
- Department of Redundancy Department:Sam: "Hey Bran, I've been meaning to ask you if I can ask you something."
Bran the Broken Legs Who Can't Walk
- Department of Redundancy Department:Bran: "I don't really want to anymore. But what I do want… is to be able to want some more."
- Name That Unfolds Like Lotus Blossom: Among his titles include "Bran the Broken Legs Who Can't Walk" and "Bran the Fast Pass at Any Amusement Park."
- Non-Answer: In response to Sam asking if Gilly gave him an STD, Bran responds "some things are better unknown."
- Sanity Slippage: Morphs into Rick Sanchez from Rick and Morty when talking to Sansa.
Arya Stark
- Confronting Your Imposter: The real Jaime Lannister shows up while Arya is disguised as him.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: Arya puts on Jaime Lannister's face to sneak into King's Landing. This even fools Cersei Lannister, despite the fact Arya is 4'9" and has both her hands.
- Pre-Mortem One-Liner: "MISSION: ABORT!"
Sandor Clegane / The Hound
- Country Matters: Drops the c-bomb in almost every sentence.
Cersei Lannister
- Ice Queen: When Arya kills Cersei with the same dagger that killed the Night King, Cersei is resurrected and becomes the Night Queen.
- Spot the Imposter: When confronted with two Jaime Lannisters, she decides to hold a kissing contest to find the real one.
Sansa Stark
- Sanity Slippage: Morphs into Morty Smith from Rick and Morty when talking to Bran.
Shigekazu
Shigekazu
- Creepy Basement: Shigekazu gets kidnapped by Roxanne and held captive in her creepy basement which doubles as a slaughterhouse.
- I Have No Son!: Shigekazu's father kicks him out because Shigekazu loves his mother more than his father.
- Love Confession: Confesses his love to Roxanne despite the fact the two met earlier this evening and, y'know, he's being held captive in a basement surrounded by dead bodies.
- Skewed Priorities: Asks Roxanne "Do you have anybody in your mind that is your thinking about every day?" (transl. Do you have someone you can never seem to get out of your head?) while literally being held captive in a basement surrounded by dead bodies.
Roxanne
- Cute and Psycho: Roxanne's cute voice is contrasted with the fact she's a serial killer.
- Serial Killer: A proud one at that. She keeps sketches of her victims in her basement.
Bobby
- Affectionate Nickname: Roxanne affectionately calls him "booby" once (although that could've just been a misspelling of his name).
