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Hello, small children!
The four main characters:
Dana Porter
Dana Porter
"Random question, but...What would you guys say if me and Drake went on an adventure to save the planet from aliens?"
"If jelly beans can be magical, I’m supposed to save the world from invading aliens, and children can send threats to dead composers, it’s entirely possible, no, it’s very likely that our parents know something about this."
The Protagonist of the story. An introverted boy, but willing to step up to be a hero for this adventure. He always wears headphones and is skilled with a bow and arrow.- Badass Bookworm: His PK Special has random information he memorizes physically appear (with proper MLA citing).
- Forgot About His Powers: Justified, considering how long the name his PK Special is.
- Friendly Sniper: Dana is a good-hearted nerd who can't get himself to do daunting tasks, but he's got a clean shot with a bow and PK Properly Researching and Presenting Papers on Obscure Academia.
- Missing Mom: And dad. The first step of the aliens' 2018 attack is to abduct the boys' parents for their connection to their mysterious uncle.
- Nerd Glasses: Obsessed with gaming and properly-cited research papers, it's no surprise Dana wears glasses.
- Sibling Team: Dana and Drake fight together whenever they can; Drake attacking up-front with sword combat and offensive PSI while Dana stays behind to snipe.
- Signature Headgear: His headphones and beanie.
- Shared Signature Move: Both Dana and Drake are capable of using the PK Special, although their versions greatly differ from one another.
- Songs of Solace: ''Listen to the wind blow... watch the sun rise...''
- The Chosen One: According to Ian, Pio, and the magical mega-jelly bean.
- Trauma Conga Line: The people testing his abilities at Snow Wood comment about how he can't get happy because everything that's happened in the past week is rightfully depressing him.
Drake Porter
Drake Porter
"Two Nesses in one place might damage the spacetime continuum, and that’s really more of a Tracy thing."
"I might need to think about stuff alone in our room with no one around for a little bit longer, maybe an hour so that I can really get strong thoughts about various topics that are rapidly coming to my mind at this minute. You’re okay with that, right?"
Dana's brother and biological cousin. He is very close with his brother. A casual guy, and a bit of a nerd at times, sometimes going on long and convoluted ramblings.
- Ascended Fanboy: Drake is a big fan of the Mother series. He is, understandably, very excited to learn that EarthBound is real, he can use PSI, and he is one of the heroes of a modern-day EarthBound adventure.
- Heroes Prefer Swords: His main weapon is a fencing saber.
- Implausible Fencing Powers: Can use a fencing sabre fast enough to catch projectiles from a BolaWrap device.
- Let No Crisis Go to Waste: Being an optimist with powers triggered by hope, his PK Rockin and telekinesis abilities were both learned in the middle of fights.
- Mind over Matter: Drake possesses the ability to move things without touching them.
- Motor Mouth: Frequently goes on ramblings about everything from games he likes to the existence of dark matter.
- Roaring Rampage of Revenge: Takes him less than a split second to take out a bat and go apeshit on Rhelkyy for abducting his parents.
Dov "Pio" Pioneer
Dov "Pio" Pioneer
"I'm lazy and hungry and I need to get back to sending telepathic threats to Johann Pachelbel in his grave for ruining the cello."
"I’m actually fourteen, and if I could get rid of the fire in the snow, so can you."
A quiet boy who does not talk to many people. Struggles with showing emotion and speaking, but speaks much more easily through telepathic communication. He is gifted in music and composing, and uses a lot of different types of offensive PSI.- Author Avatar: If the name didn't give it away, Pio is controlled by the main writer of the story, pio_dov.
- Close-Call Haircut: Pio's hair is set on fire during the battle with the Masked Humanoids.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: He attempts to finish the Masked Humanoids off with a blast of PK Fire γ. Unfortunately, Masked Humanoid is equipped with an Emmons Badge, and his attack spectacularly backfires.
- In-Series Nickname: His real name is Dov. Most people call him by a shortened version of his surname, however: Pio.
- Precision F-Strike: He may not talk clearly, but he's willing to throw a violent F-bomb when a PK Fire attack backfires.
- Raised by the Supernatural: Raised by aliens under yet-to-be-revealed circumstances.
- Signature Instrument: The cello.
- Situational Sociability: On one hand, Pio doesn't talk much and tends to stutter or stammer whenever he does. On the other, he speaks easily and fluidly while using telepathy. He doesn't have any problems taunting his enemies mentally, either.Pio after Masked Humanoids continue to fail to capture the kids: "Wanna just surrender now?"Masked Humanoid A: "Stop... STOP IT. Stop sending those freaky brain messages! STOP."
- Speech Impediment: The few times he verbally speaks, he has a noticeably stammer.
- The Quiet One: Doesn't speak out loud much.
- Weak to Fire: A running gag of Pio constantly burning himself.
Ian Henderson
Ian Henderson
"Great, use that to make sure those two dunderheads don’t get decapitated."
"Pio. There’s a concept that exists called ‘patience’. Civilizations have been making do with this capability for ages."
A clever and serious boy who could easily make friends but chooses not to. Does the most talking between himself and Pio. Possesses a large vocabulary, is great in conversations and can get people to spill anything. Uses less types of PSI than Pio, but their attacks are stronger.- Brits Love Tea: Drinks tea when the Porters take hot cocoa (though Pio the dumb American also takes a tea.
- Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Appears as a kid being bullied for being "weird". It turns out he is one of, if not the strongest member of the four.
- Deadpan Snarker: Known for being dry with his humor, matching his serious nature.Ian: "It might take a while to work, but there's a move called Telepathy Ω that should do the trick. Unfortunately, the only person I know who can use it just wasted most of his psychic points lighting himself on fire."Pio: "Uh, no one told me they'd have badges."
- Exotic Weapon Supremacy: His main weapon is a cricket bat, rather than a baseball bat.
- Helpful Hallucination: Ian's PSI move 102 Takeover can induce hallucinations onto numerous targets. He offers to use this on Dana and Drake's parents to create illusions of them so they can go on their adventure without any parental issues, but Drake shoots the idea down. Ian later uses it on the Mysterious Humanoids to get them off the kids' backs.
- Master of Illusion: Uses 102 Takeover several times throughout the story.
- Raised by the Supernatural: Raised by aliens under yet-to-be-revealed circumstances.
- Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Ian's known for having an exceptional vocabulary. So exceptional, in fact, that the author had to use an online thesaurus to write some of his lines due to his own vocabulary not being as large.
- The Smart Guy: Whenever any of the other characters make a mistake, it's likely Ian did whatever they did wrong flawlessly. He also serves as a voice of logic, calling the other three "numpties", "yahoos", "dunderheads", and "clodhoppers".
Supporting characters:
Scale/#170
Scale/#170
"Everyone! Grab the foes by their neck in a chokehold and strangle to subdue them! After that interrogate them with weapons drawn!"
A dragon kid from another dimension. He’s calm and collected, but a little sleepy. Joins the four boys on their adventure after meeting them in the basement of Crafty's store. Has massive wings that span 20 feet wide, and generally groggy and grumpy, unless you let him have his coffee first. Then becomes kind and nice to be around.- Artistic License – Child Labor Laws: Works with bounty hunters to guard Crafty's shop. Bonus points since he's only paid in coffee. Even before coming to Van Clover, he appeared to have been a dedicated and militant soldier to the "Dragon King".
- Cool Sword: His Cyberhex, given to him by the Dragon King himself.
- Dramatic High Perching: Likes to use his massive wings to his advantage in battle. Or just to jump on top of buildings to scare off bad guys.
- Drink-Based Characterization: Scale really likes his coffee. He agrees to help Crafty with his store under the promise of a supply of the beverage.
- Hyper-Competent Sidekick: Oh yes. Even though he isn't part of the main party, he has proven himself to be exceptionally skilled in battle.
- Impossibly Cool Weapon: Scale is the wielder of a Cyberhex that can turn itself into any sword he chooses.
- Ironic Name: His name is Scale, and guess what he doesn't have?
- Named Weapons: "The Sword of Dorks"
- Token Non-Human: Human nerd boy, human nerd boy, human nerd boy, military-trained dragon, human nerd boy...
- Winged Humanoid: He's a boy with dragon wings.
- You Are Number 6: Another one of his names is "#170".
Crafty McCraftingcraft
Crafty Mc Crafingcraft
"Hello, hello, come on in! What snakes— sorry, I mean snacks can I get for you?"
The owner of a corner store that conveniently is all the corner stores. Sells the gang snacks at the start of their journey, and later becomes mixed up in their adventure. Secretly owns an illegal pet shop in the basement of his shop.- Friendly Shopkeeper: He's kind and amicable enough, even when the gang discovers his animal stash. He also refuses to give away the location of the heroes when the Mysterious Humanoids threaten him, and is kidnapped as a result. Fortunately, the heroes rescue him after defeating the Mysterious Humanoids.
- Innocent Bystander: Gets kidnapped by the Mysterious Humanoids after refusing to give information to them.
- Name McAdjective: The government agents arresting him reveal his last name is "McCraftingcraft."
Ryler Terrateski
Ryler Terrateski
"Cam, get over here, there's drama in our lives now."
A boy from the city of Port Atlas who went on an adventure two years before Dana and Drake to stop the aliens. The fact that the aliens are still a threat two years later tells us they were not, in fact, stopped.- Big Brother Instinct: Dedicates as much energy he can to save his kidnapped little brother, Denver, despite never even knowing the kid.
- Character Tics: Fingers his scarf when he's nervous.
- Consistent Clothing Style: Ryler loves his jacket and scarf. Even in the middle of June.
- Create Your Own Hero: Keiran is sent to eliminate Ryler due to him being a psychic and therefore a threat to the aliens' plans. Unfortunately, Keiran doesn't feel like doing that and instead warns Ryler about the aliens and teaches him how to use his PSI. Ryler then decides he needs to save the world from the aliens.
- Fallen Hero: Ryler's journey ultimately ends with his defeat at the hands of the aliens, who capture and brainwash him to use for their own purposes.
- How Do I Shot Web?: Like Dana, Ryler struggles at first to learn how to use his abilities.
- Improvised Bandage: After losing control of his nervousness-induced psychic levitation and landing hard on his ankle, he wraps his scarf around his injured foot as he limps home.
- Motor Mouth: Tends to talk extremely fast when excited.
- Power Floats: Ryler is capable of using his PSI to levitate himself off the ground.
- Scarf of Asskicking: Always scarf-clad. His scarf-related fidgets eventually ascend into a prep for his offensive PSI.
- Twisted Ankle: Adds extra spice to running away from a paranormal crime scene.
- Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Ryler's only fear is heights. His psychic powers revolve around levitating.
Camber Terrateski
Camber Terrateski
"Damn, why’d he get an edgy origin story instead of me? It’s not fair."
Ryler's younger sister. As of Ryler's story, she is in her preteen edgy phase, wanting to look cool and seem more mature than Ryler.- Big Eater: Swallows three avocado rolls in one (painful) gulp during dinner.
- Separated at Birth: revealed to have a long-lost twin who was supposedly abducted by aliens as an infant.
Keiran
Keiran
"I was still alive and kicking then. And the most popular kid in elementary school because my parents bought me Silly Bandz."
A boy who died in 2009 and became a poltergeist. He was sent by the aliens, along with other poltergeists, to possess inanimate objects and eliminate any psychics. Unfortunately, Keiran had no interest in doing either and instead warns and befriends Ryler, starting his journey.- Friendly Ghost: He's nice to Ryler and helps him learn how to use his powers instead of attacking him like he was ordered to.
- Mr. Exposition: In a way. He tells Ryler about the aliens and that he has psychic powers.
- Only One Name:
Word of God says he only has a first name.pio_dov: He's just Keiran the dead guy:tm: - Poltergeist: Capable of possessing inanimate objects. This includes old video game consoles and an unfortunate Ryler while he was having an out-of-body experience.
Brooklyn Hamm
Brooklyn Hamm
“Yeah, let’s yeet those psychedelic punks to HQ.”
An eager and rather edgy girl working a winter break job as an assistant to the Eagleland Bureau of Paranormal Investigation. Ham hails from Billytown, Eagleland.- Badass Normal: Takes out all four of the protagonists despite not even being psychic. Granted, she does it by hitting them with a truck while they're distracted, but still.
- Car Fu: The battle technique she used to take out the heroes.
- Not Like Other Girls: Ham insists she only goes to Starbucks because it's near her house, referring to the building as a "normie shop".
- Pastimes Prove Personality: She's obsessed with the paranormal, zombies and ghosts. Her personality, accordingly, is quite edgy.
- Teen Superspy: Works a winter break internship with Eagleland's shadow government.
- The Lightfooted: Mentioned to be very swift and agile.
- Totally Radical: The purest essence of 2018 slang. She's the only character to use "yeet", "hype", "cringe", "oof", "wut", "normie", and "bruh" unironically.
The Dragon King
The Dragon King
The ruler of Scale's homeworld. He offered Scale a once-in-a-decade chance to go to "the other world outside this one" which he accepted.- The Ghost: Never physically appears in the story. He is only mentioned occasionally by Scale.
Pey
Pey
A teen anarchist from Sailorsbane, Ungergut.- Awesome Aussie: Living in knockoff-Australia and played by an Aussie kid, they're a tough anarchist, thief, and rebel.
Harry Lancer
Harry Lancer
A retired psychic with Cold War connections.- Dad the Veteran: He's Jackie's father and fought in the Cold War.
- Give Him a Normal Life: Harry wants this for Jackie, but his attempts to keep his life normal...don't work out.
Jackie Lancer, Tavian "Tesura" Tesla, and Greyson Hunt
Three friends with unique paranormal ailments who aid Scale.
- Shock and Awe: Tesura's body biologically generates electricity, and he's been described as comparable to a "living wire".
EarthBound Protagonist Counterparts
Tropes Shared by All Members
The real-life versions of the heroes of EarthBound and EarthBound Beginnings. All of them are quite similar to their game selves, despite them now being adults.
- Adaptation Name Change: An In-Universe example. The government had the protagonists' names in the games changed to be different from their real-life counterparts.
- Kid Hero All Grown-Up: All of them have grown into adults following their journeys years ago to save the world.
Connor Hollow
Connor Hollow
"It’s…it’s cool that you two turned out to be psychics, right? I mean, genetically speaking, there was a pretty high chance given you’re my nephews."
Dana and Drake's uncle and the real-life version of Ness. Arrives after the showdown with the Mysterious Humanoids to help them fight the aliens.- Hero of Another Story: The protagonist of EarthBound.
- Kid Hero All Grown-Up: Ness from EarthBound, now living as a middle-aged funcle to the main characters.
- Teleportation: The first PSI technique he uses is Teleport, to warp from Snow Wood to Crafty's shop, where the kids are hiding.
David Terrateski
David Terrateski
Ryler and his sister's adoptive father with a shady origin. The real-life version of Lloyd.- Parental Hypocrisy: He didn't want Ryler setting out to defeat the aliens since he'd be in danger. Even though he did the exact same thing when he was a kid.
Miguel Solano
Miguel Solano
A workaholic metalhead running the psychic shadow government and the biological uncle of Ryler and Cam. The real-life version of Ninten.Antagonists:
Rhelnetiicoe "Rhelkyy" Kyyek
Rhelnetiicoe "Rhelkky" Kyyek
“So! As you may not know, the snot-nosed shrimps are getting stronger, and with my little bambinos down there, they may as well be able to bring back the gonies.”
An excessive and stylish alien prime minister going into great depths to invade Earth on behalf of his late friend Giygas.- Affably Evil: He's polite and friendly to Dana and Drake, even after Drake hits him with his bat. After forcibly restraining the boys with duct tape, he promises the kids chili and water every night so they don't die during the invasion.
- Aliens Speaking English: Not only speaks perfect English, but practically speaks it better than all the native speakers (minus Ian).
- Invasion of the Baby Snatchers: It was a phase.Rhelkyy admiring his hat: Wow! This hat’s just the size to scoop up an weakling human infant. That’s crazy. If only I had this hat back in my human-baby-kidnapping phase!
- Big Bad: Likely qualifies as he's the leader of the invading army of aliens.
- Parental Substitute: Given his title as "Papa Prime Minister", it's implied he was the one to raised the abducted experiment kids.
- Sissy Villain: For a pan-galactic conqueror, Rhelkyy is absolutely fabulous.
- Try to Fit That on a Business Card: His full title, apparently, is "Distinguished Papa Prime Minister Master of the Universe Sir".
- Villains Out Shopping: Enjoys hobbies such as making chilli, organizing a slick wardrobe, and watching Saturday Night Live.
The Mysterious Humanoids
The Mysterious Humanoids
Two government agents sent to capture Dana and his friends.- Know When to Fold 'Em: After receiving a beatdown from the four heroes, they decide to retreat, despite gaining a brief advantage after reflecting Pio's attack back at him.Masked Humanoid B: "We’re not cowards. We just think that ten-year-olds trying to burn us alive and stick arrows in our knees is fairly murderous and terrifying."
- Sinister Shades: Equipped with sunglasses and surgical masks.
- Vehicular Kidnapping: After Crafty refuses to give them information about the kids, they knock him out and throw him in the back of their truck.
Agent Miriam Wolf
