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Characters: Drop the Dead Donkey
Globelink Staff

Gus Hedges

The management speak spouting 'hands-off' chief executive at Globelink News, Gus constantly reminds his staff "I'm not here." If only. Constantly meddling with broadcasts and bulletins to ensure their proprietor comes out on top, Gus has no real friends at the office and is often shown to be desperately lonely.

  • Beleaguered Assistant
  • Break the Haughty: When events begin to get on top of him, such as the Prime Minister's impending visit.
  • The Dog Bites Back: To Sir Royston in the last episode, but his epic rant is cut short.
  • Jerkass Woobie: Rather a jerkass, but deeply pitiable.
  • A Man is Not a Virgin
  • Manipulative Bastard: In several episodes he shows that he is quite competent in getting the employees to accept pay cuts or dropping stories he doesn't want to see broadcast.
  • Neologizer: Hes poke like this almost to the point of unintelligibility as part of his "management speak". The character was a parody of all the phrase-coining 90s managers who seemed to believe making up new expressions would change the workplace. Sadly for Gus, it never worked.
  • Smug Snake
  • Sympathy for the Devil: Often shown as a deeply lonely, insecure individual whose attempts to reach out to his colleagues are met with bafflement or frustration.
  • The Unfavourite: To his brother Julian.
  • Yes-Man

George Dent

The put-upon editor of Globelink, George is constantly beset by problems from his staff, his manipulative wife, his borderline-psychotic daughter Deborah, and his own ever increasing mystery illnesses.

Alex Pates

George's second, the assistant editor (who frequently does most of the legwork). Put on a Bus between series two and three.

Helen Cooper

Brought in to replace Alex, she quickly attracts the attention of both George and Dave, only to reveal she's actually a lesbian.

Damien Day

Sensationalist reporter, always willing to embellish the truth in his reports.

Dave Charnley

Ladies man, particularly if the lady is married to another staff member, Dave frequently finds himself in debt to various creditors due to his gambling problems.

Henry Davenport

The respected older anchorman at Globelink, Henry is constantly frustrated at the antics of 'pre-pubescent holograms' in politics and the media business. He has a particularly acidic relationship with fellow anchor Sally Smedley.

Sally Smedley

Part of a new wave of attractive but untalented new personnel, Sally is calm and reassuring on camera, but off-camera is vacuous and selfish, disliked by most of her colleagues, particular Henry.

Joy Merryweather

The incredibly effective PA for Globelink, Joy is, however, a borderline sociopath with a tendency to enact creative revenge plots on those who slight her.

Gerry

Damien's cameraman.

Recurring Characters

Sir Royston Merchant

The new owner of Globelink News, a terrifying, corrupt figure who owns much of the British media.

Margaret

George's often mentioned wife, who proceeds to put him through hell before demanding a divorce and taking most of his possessions.

Deborah Dent

George's out of control teenage daughter.

Roy Merchant Jr

Sir Royston's only son, he is sent in in the final series to assess whether the business is worth saving.

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