Gus HedgesThe management speak spouting 'hands-off' chief executive at Globelink News, Gus constantly reminds his staff "I'm not here." If only. Constantly meddling with broadcasts and bulletins to ensure their proprietor comes out on top, Gus has no real friends at the office and is often shown to be desperately lonely.
George DentThe put-upon editor of Globelink, George is constantly beset by problems from his staff, his manipulative wife, his borderline-psychotic daughter Deborah, and his own ever increasing mystery illnesses.
Alex PatesGeorge's second, the assistant editor (who frequently does most of the legwork). Put on a Bus between series two and three.
Helen CooperBrought in to replace Alex, she quickly attracts the attention of both George and Dave, only to reveal she's actually a lesbian.
Damien DaySensationalist reporter, always willing to embellish the truth in his reports.
Dave CharnleyLadies man, particularly if the lady is married to another staff member, Dave frequently finds himself in debt to various creditors due to his gambling problems.
Henry DavenportThe respected older anchorman at Globelink, Henry is constantly frustrated at the antics of 'pre-pubescent holograms' in politics and the media business. He has a particularly acidic relationship with fellow anchor Sally Smedley.
Sally SmedleyPart of a new wave of attractive but untalented new personnel, Sally is calm and reassuring on camera, but off-camera is vacuous and selfish, disliked by most of her colleagues, particular Henry.
Joy MerryweatherThe incredibly effective PA for Globelink, Joy is, however, a borderline sociopath with a tendency to enact creative revenge plots on those who slight her.
Sir Royston MerchantThe new owner of Globelink News, a terrifying, corrupt figure who owns much of the British media.
MargaretGeorge's often mentioned wife, who proceeds to put him through hell before demanding a divorce and taking most of his possessions.
Deborah DentGeorge's out of control teenage daughter.
Roy Merchant JrSir Royston's only son, he is sent in in the final series to assess whether the business is worth saving.