Pacific Rim: War veteran gets dragged out of retirement after a wall collapses. He has to get over the death of his brother and bond with a shell-shocked Japanese woman in order to fight rejects from the Godzilla series.
Pan's Labyrinth: During the Spanish Civil War, a bookish girl with a psychotic army officer for an adoptive father completes three tasks so she can get killed and be reincarnated again as the fairy princess she was in a past life. Oh, and they're the scariest fairies ever.
Paranormal Activity: A man and woman argue incessantly because their noisy roommate is obsessed with the woman.
Pee-wee's Big Adventure: A slightly creepy SNL-rejected man-child loses his bike to another man-child. He then looks for the bike. Directed by a man whose past works deal with a disturbed, Poe-obsessed kid and a dead dog. For the soundtrack, these two went to the leader of a considerably popular punk-rock-new-wave-comedy troupe and asked him to compose an orchestrated score despite his total lack of experience in that area. The main character went on to host a children's show with a talking house and the rocker went on to compose film scores for a living.
Alternatively, a mentally questionable man has his bike stolen by a more financially stable mentally questionable man. After pursuing his rival in a murderous rampage, he travels with an assortment of unsavory people to retrieve his beloved bicycle after receiving a tip-off from a dodgy fortune teller.
A Shot in the Dark: The policeman must solve a murder mystery at a mansion owned by Shere Khan but gets virtually nowhere as the body count rises and blame increasingly falls on the innocent one. Here we meet the policeman's boss, who goes nuts after chopping off his thumb with a cigar cutter, and servant, who attacks against his will.
Inspector Clouseau: Policeman investigates a British gang attempting to hide Swiss money inside chocolate bars.
The Pink Panther Strikes Again: The policeman fails to notice his boss does not want him anymore.
Pink FloydThe Wall: Bad stuff happens to a guy throughout his life, so one day he decides to socially isolate himself from human civilization.
Pinocchio: A wooden marionette is given life, meets two hobos on his way to school, gets sold to a traveling showman who is the very image of wrath, lies to his alleged mother, nearly makes a jackass out of himself at an amusement park, and rescues his father inside a whale, all in order to become a real boy. A clothed insect tries his best to help said marionette.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl: A blacksmith's rich girlfriend gets kidnapped by zombie pirates, and he goes to rescue her with the help of another pirate who is not a zombie but wears eyeliner. And it's based on a theme park ride.
Alternatively: A politician's daughter steals gold and is mistaken for a gold-thief's daughter by gold-thieves, who want to kill her, so they can die. Her stalker fails to save her with the help of a guy his dad knew from work, but the gold thieves don't kill the politician's daughter, because she's not a gold thief's daughter. Everyone who isn't a gold-thief fights everyone who is until the gold-thieves go to jail or die.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest: In the sequel, the pirate tricks the blacksmith into serving a man with a Scots accent and a Welsh name with an octopus for a head who lives in a Dutch submarine and plays the organ.
Planet of the Apes: Man's travel takes longer than expected, and after his arrival he ends up captured and put on trial by hostiles. The trial covers politics and philosophy, including human nature.
Beneath the Planet of the Apes: Guy goes after the above man, also gets lost but manages to find him after being captured by a different set of hostiles. When both hostile groups find each other... the consequences are catastrophic.
Escape from the Planet of the Apes: A few of the first group of hostiles manage to get to the lost men's homeland.
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes: Horseback rider decides to take over a city after his employer is driven to suicide.
Precious: Teenage girl fights with mother over pregnancy, then writes about it in her diary.
Predator: Man with peculiar accent survives hunting trip. Also, features two state governors.
Predator 2: A big game hunter, whose vocabulary consists of "want some candy?", "shit happens" and "motherfucker," fights Latino gangsters and cops. It can only be stopped by that black dude from Lethal Weapon.
Predators: Some people and a big game hunter get roped into a hunting trip.
The Princess Bride: A farm hand becomes a pirate and his girlfriend becomes a princess and then he kidnaps her and dies. Then, with the help of a hungover fencer and a stupid giant, he kidnaps her again after coming back to life. Whilst all this is going on, a grandfather tells his grandson a story.
Alternately: Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles. It doesn't sound too bad.
Alternately: Some plonker reads a kissing book to his grandson.
Extra-Alternately: Lieutenant Columbo reads a kissing book to his sick, baseball-playing grandson. True love is declared.
Pulp Fiction: A couple of hit-men discuss everything from hamburgers to theology. One retires, the other dies, and their boss is anally raped.
Alternately: A hitman stabs a woman in the heart to save her, three preppies get killed by Bible quotes and miracles, the sole survivor of that accidentally gets shot in the head when a car hits a bump note Hey, the car didn't hit no motherfuckin' bump!, and a quest to get donuts, a toilet, and a watch hidden up Christopher Walken's ass for two years ends in murder and anal rape.