We try to kill SCP-682

Result: Denied. The SCP Foundation does not negotiate with terrorists.

Addendum: Testing went as scheduled. End result, SCP-682 developed an ocular anomaly before devouring Zero.

Test: Subject SCP-682 to a massive swarm of mosquitoes.

Result: SCP-682 committed suicide to escape the mosquitoes because mosquitoes are that bad. Unfortunately he resurrected 3 and a half days later after the Foundation had already spent a bunch of money on his funeral.

Test: Use those bookends to bring Saitma to life and then have him punch SCP-682.

Result: Partial Failure. SCP-682 was temporarily terminated by Saitama. Saitama exited containment facility at [REDACTED]. Upon his exit, SCP-682 swiftly regenerated and recovered from the injuries. Saitama has not been located since; attempts to re-contact him have been met with immediate containment breach attempt from SCP-682, usually succeeding.

Test: Order a "Cup of Liquid That Will Neutralise SCP-682's Regeneration" from SCP-294, and force SCP-682 to ingest this liquid. Bombard SCP-682 with high-calibre weaponry and large quantities of radiation.

Result: Failure. The substance that cancelled out SCP-682's regeneration was so acidic not even the cup could contain it. Or tungsten. Or anything, really, it kept going until it reached the center of the Earth

Test: Sending it to 120 trillion AD was a bust, given there are still white dwarfs to use energy from. Let's send SCP-682 to 1 googol AD, a point where all protons long since succumbed to decay and every black hole has evaporated

Result: 682 was successfully contained for approximately one hour, before he returned.

Approximately thirty five minutes later, he vanished, and a spike in temporal energy has been detected.

Edit: 682 is in the history book. Why is he in the history books?

Requesting immediate reset of the timeline bef-

Requesting immediate reset of the timeline, before any and all instances of this creature pose a threat to the USSA. Comrade Reed has authorized all means to contain or remove the creature’s abilities.

-reset button is pressed-

TEST: We drop 682 out of a plane from really, really high in the air.

How the Hell does that work, 682 was at the end of time! Unless...oh wait, did 682 exploit SCP-3200?! Damn, I guess we can't use time travel anymore as a solution

Result: Success! SCP-682 shows no life signals whatsoever! Who'd have thought something so simple would kill it! This calls for a party!

Author's notes: During the party one week later they danced on SCP-682's grave. Right before they were about to finish, SCP-682 burst alive and started devouring them while they were in a false sense of security. Apparently 682 found the means of killing it so stupid it desired to troll everyone and pretend it worked. The few who survived admitted it was Actually Pretty Funny, in a Gallows Humor sort of way

Test: Latch the Black Mercy on SCP-682 so gets to live out its utopia of a world without life(except SCP-053) and a universe that fits its perception of what is normal

Result: [Denied]. The idea of putting 682 in it's own paradise just feels wrong, and would most likely backfire horrendously.

Test: Encase SCP-682 is a 500ft diameter sphere of Flex Tape.

That's your reason? Wow, I see why 682 thinks we're disgusting

Result: Failure. Asides from the fact it wouldn't have killed SCP-682, 682 made its claws and teeth ultra-sharp so it could tear out of the flex tape. Some of it was still stuck on it, which just pissed it off even more

Test: Expose copious amounts of Joker venom to SCP-682

Result: Technically a success. SCP-682 began laughing uncontrollably after fifty (50) minutes of exposure. However, soon afterwards everyone began laughing uncontrollably causing seven (7) D-Class personnel to die of asphyxiation as they laughed to death. The test was promptly aborted.

Test: Ask Mr. Deeds or the wish-granting chair (or any other SCP that grants wishes to give us instructions to kill SCP-682. If they cannot or wont, ask for instructions for how to get instructions to kill SCP-682.

Result: We already tried that. Failure all around, see individual SCP files for more details.

Test: Step 1: Relocate SCP-682 to the moon, take steps to ensure it can't return to Earth. Step 2: Invite the Predators to hunt SCP-682 on the moon. Step 3: Record the spectacle with remote-controlled drones, and sell tickets to the spectacle to recoup the financial losses of sending SCP-682 to the moon. (Step 3 is a Cassandra Gambit.)

Sorry to post again before someone else does, but it's just because I think you missed what I said. I said that we should ask any wish granting skip we have for instructions on how to kill 682 or for instructions to get instructions to kill 682 if they can't give us instructions for how to kill them. I'm not saying that we should ask them to kill 682.

Result: Denied. The chance that someone would realize that their really is a giant fight on the moon is too high. Also, sending this thing into the sun didn't get rid of him permanently. There's no way being sent to the moon is going to be a problem for him.

edited 25th Jun '18 10:27:15 AM by TheBlueHour

Not sure what your test was, so I asked cleverbot and he didn’t know either. I thought he was 682 but he actually wasn’t.

Test: Throw 682 into the Sarlacc. Either he dies, and we’re rid of him forever, or he’s gone for a thousand years while being digested and only comes back then.

Result: SCP-682 and the Sarlacc are great buds and he lets 682 go.

Test: Give 682 the Ludivico Treatment and then shoot him. And then force him to watch Frankenstein's Army.

Result: Denied. We already established cringe and movies do nothing

Test: Cryogenically freeze SCP-682, cut it into cubes and keep each cube cryogenically frozen as far away from each other as physically possible. And make damn sure it stays frozen

Result: 682 breaks out while they’re cutting the ice.

Test: Put him in a room with SCP-TTKU-J.

Result: Utter and complete failure. SCP-TTKU-J did not kill SCP-682, but instead got on SCP-682's back and used SCP-682 to break out of the testing room and kill large amounts of personnel. Several MTF were killed by SCP-682 and SCP-TTKU-J, until SCP-682 was finally subdued and tranquilized. SCP-TTKU-J then got off SCP-682 and killed more personnel and MTF units. SCP-TTKU was finally recontained when promised a D-Class personnel to kill if it returned to it's containment cell.

Note from 05 command: Wow, this was largest amount of personnel killed in a single event in the history of the foundation. I really want to know who came up with this idea.

Test: Fly SCP-682 into a black hole again. Then find SCP-682 in it's "small" state, and put it SCP-914 set to very coarse.

Result: Failure, though it did give us more information on SCP-682. When put on "very coarse", it separated 682 into subatomic "particle" (that's the best word we have for it right now) of an unknown form of matter, with traits expected from the strings in string theory. Each of which had a life of their own, and the power to convert nearby mass into more "682-particles". Fortunately they only continue expanding into the "default", and it took a week. Further research is necessary

Test: Get Giorno Giovanna to use Gold Experience Requiem until it stops. If anything is enough of a Story-Breaker Power to stop the thing, Gold Experience Requiem is. 682 won't even see it coming because non-Stand users can't see Stands.

Edited by RJ-19-CLOVIS-93 on Jul 5th 2018 at 11:26:45 PM

Result: we’ve tried it before; it didn’t work then and it won’t work now.

Test 1: Get Sagume Kishin to say that SCP-682 can’t be permanently killed by tapping it lightly. Then tap SCP-682 lightly.

Test 2: If the above doesn’t work, lock it in a room with Void Termina and see what happens.

Result 1: Failure. Shortly after being tapped, SCP-682 created a second instance of itself. The original SCP-682 then expired several minutes later, but the second SCP-682 stayed alive and was put back into containment. The second SCP-682 was seen devouring the original SCP-682's body while in containment.

Note from 05 command: SCP-682 appears to have a "fail-safe" instinct to reproduce a separate instance of itself before expiration. Further research on how to stop this is necessary.

Result 2: Denied. Void Termina poses a significant risk of causing a XK Class End of the World Scenario.

Test: Put it in front of SCP-001 (The Gate Guardian).

Result: Failure. Scp-682 sat in front of the angel for several minutes before turning around and walking away. It was recovered and put back in containment the following day.

Test: Shoot the sun at SCP-682.

Result: Denied. Collateral damage estimates are too high. ^{Original phrasing redacted for unprofessionalism. Click here to view.} What the [EXPLETIVE] were you thinking? That would roast the entire earth and kill us all, which is what the [EXPLETIVE] lizard wants!

Test: Infect a tissue sample of SCP-682 with SCP-217. Have extra chemical agent ZEER-217-11 on hand in case something goes wrong.

Edited by Miss_Desperado on Jul 7th 2018 at 1:23:14 AM

Result: Failure. Tissue sample showed no effects once touched by a SCP-217 infected subject.

Note from 05 command: This experiment might suggest that SCP-682 is not made of "organic matter" in the convention sense.

Test: Put it in front of SCP-001 (the gate guardian) again but this time, close enough to SCP-001 so that the angel will try to smite SCP-682.

Edited by R0B0T_K1LLER on Jul 7th 2018 at 6:29:41 AM

Result: Similarly to 343, 001 can’t interact with 682 at all.

Test: This time, get Sagume to say “SCP-682, or the creature going by that name, cannot be killed permanently by tapping it lightly and will regenerate and/or clone itself if you try to do so.” Then tap 682 lightly.

Test 2: If the above fails, give it a lot of Phazon. It will be incredibly powerful for two weeks and then die.

Result 1: Failed. SCP-682 was not affected by Sagume ability. After that, SCP-682 breached containment and killed several guards before it was recontained.

Result 2: Denied. We don't want SCP-682 to become an alien radiation killing machine, and that is coming fron someone who would love to see it. - O5 Council

Test 1: Show Logan and Jake Paul's videos to SCP-682.

Test 2: If the test above fails, than show the video "Globglogabgalab" to him.

Results 1 + 2: Denied.

"Really? Do you want to give this [EXPLETIVE DELETED]more reasons to kill us all. Someone demote this guy to D-Class."

-Dr. Rat.

Test 1: Expose SCP-682 to the Decepticon Justice Division.

"If anyone can kill this [EXPLETIVE DELETED] it's these guys. Giant robots whose chose sadism as a career path." -General [DATA EXPUNDGED]

Test 2: Introduce 682 to Linkara, and have him kill the thing

"Guy convinced a universe eating GOD to kill itself-then killed it for real when it came back. Also has an impressive arsenal for an internet reviewer.He refuses to do it, have Frank Miller make a sequel to Holy Terror" -Dr. Rat

Edited by Warmaster23rat on Jul 10th 2018 at 8:53:33 AM