Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted but you die. Never said that the powers transferring into your body couldn’t kill you.

I wish that Corruption was better.

Try out my new forum game! Man this formating is hard.

Granted. Now uncorruption is worse. Most people are uncorrupted and now suffer a Fate Worse than Death.

---

I wish I never had any responsibilities.

"Looks like my type specialization changed. What do you guys think about my fairy wings?" - Iris

Granted, everyone has the responsibility of needing to have responsibilities, and deleting you from reality altogether makes you still, timelessly and in your new, only hypothetical existence, have the responsibility of having deleted yourself from the timeline, so...

(Several timeless adjustments to the baseline nature of reality and logic occur, until a logically valid equilibrium is finally reached.)

...the universe is now an Eldritch Location entirely composed of distorted bisected Ronald McDonald holograms riding on Direct TV sales ad that are conceptually equivalent to bookshelves but are practically useful as rockets.

I wish this wish was part of an xkcd comic.

Granted it’s because you were murdered in a very weird way and the comics mention you years later.

I wish this thread was active.

Try out my new forum game! Man this formating is hard.

Granted. The servers shut down from too much traffic.

---

I wish my lower back stopped hurting.

"Looks like my type specialization changed. What do you guys think about my fairy wings?" - Iris

Granted. You have no lower back now, and quickly die of blood loss from the severed arteries.

I wish I always had the best comeback to any insult.

Of course I've gone mad with power. Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Granted, the best comeback to any insult in the entire universe is a piece of Black Speech that causes the insulter to join his mind into ψɸ(77)'s eternal choir. Except that also happens to the speaker. Enjoy your Fate Worse than Death.

I wish to be transported to the Half Life 3 release announcement press conference that will be held in the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

Edited by DeepFiemott on Mar 3rd 2021 at 12:19:13 PM

Oh and it’s also (That Eldridge Gods name) Anual ritual sacrifice. Have fun.

I wis-

Edited by JKBenbot on Mar 3rd 2021 at 4:34:09 PM

Try out my new forum game! Man this formating is hard.

It seems whatever you wished for worked, but came at a high cost. RIP in peace.

I wish I could master any language.

(They/them) You don’t know me the way I do

Granted, the world is brainwashed to believe all your current understandings of world languages are their official forms, forgetting all others. Every language you don't know is now extinct, and any individual terms you don't know in languages you do know are also gone, wrecking the jargon of various advanced fields.

I wish you would listen to me as I type completely random things as my wish off the top of my head without even stopping to think just constant typing you see this is the meaning of milhouse, and of bart, and of dead bart, and of the fate of the entire creepypasta community vs the true meaning of taco tuesday on christmas morning did you ever have to make up your mind or eat the dust of darth plageuis the wise?

Oh I remember when I wished for that the genie got so mad he killed me and now he will do it to you!

I wish -Falls into a lava pit-

Edited by JKBenbot on Mar 4th 2021 at 8:26:04 AM

Try out my new forum game! Man this formating is hard.

Your wish to fall into a lava pit before you can finish your sentence is granted. I don't know why you wished for that, but you do you.

I wish I would never run out of cookies.

I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.

Granted; you get too full and eventually the thought of cookies makes you sick.

I wish I could have an easier time thinking of wishes.

Granted. Now, make your wish.

I wish for some zalgo text.

Cassie | he/they | But will it stop the pain forever? / I just can't be sure

Granted, you can just look at my post at the end of page 1620 of this thread, you don't get any more out of this post. Also, you must hail the Dark Lord of the Twin Moons on pain of torture, except hailing him is also inherently torture.

I wish there was joint support for joint support for joint support.

Granted. You spend the rest of what slowly remains of your life, frozen stone-stiff with Münchmeyer disease.

I wish I had a spiffy pair of Deadpan Sneakers for a morning jog (inspired by an auto-correction of Deadpan Snarkers).

Edited by Taurus-the-Tinker-Bull on Mar 5th 2021 at 11:54:27 AM

Granted. Pans are extremely difficult to walk with, and they’re glued to your feet.

I wish for a ham sandwich that is not dangerous or harmful in any way.

Of course I've gone mad with power. Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Granted, the ham sandwich is harmless, but an airplane falls from the sky and crashes into your house. The sandwich was so good you didn't pay attention and die in the crash.

I wish I had a cute Harpy girlfriend.

All night at the computer, cuz people ain't that great. I keep to myself so I won't be on The First 48

Okay, Granted. Watch out, she screams like nuts.

I wish my body never excretes waste anymore.

Cassie | he/they | But will it stop the pain forever? / I just can't be sure

Granted, she is detained for her biology to be studied by the government.

Granted, you die from toxins not being filtered from your bloodstream.

I wish people would stop trying to say cryptocurrencies have value.

Edited by The_Dag on Mar 7th 2021 at 8:18:19 PM

Mankind is unloveable. No more kindness!

Granted. No one tries, they say it involuntarily.

I wish Among Us had its bugs and glitches fixed.

Of course I've gone mad with power. Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Fixed. Oh gosh, turns out there was a bug people genuinely enjoyed and now they're livid over that being fixed.

I wish I could sleep without ge shuzz

Cassie | he/they | But will it stop the pain forever? / I just can't be sure

Granted, ge shuzz just happens to be the name of the God of Safe Sleep. Without their power, you can't wake up and sleeping is actually straight up dying.

I wish I was a riddle.

Granted, it's a riddle why no-one hasn't done the right thing and shot you yet.

I wish for liberty.

Mankind is unloveable. No more kindness!

Granted. You are liberated from sanity, and Go Mad from the Revelation.

I wish that I was retroactively in charge of choosing how this wish was corrupted.

Of course I've gone mad with power. Have you ever tried going mad without power?