Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. Time traveling means that you're weaker than you are now. Have fun dying within the first minute!

I wish for beans.

Granted, they are beans that come straight from Hell that eat YOU.

I wish for a portable toilet.

Granted. It smells awful, and doesn't flush.

I wish I had a working Nintendo Switch.

Granted, you don’t have a charger or dock for it.

I wish I hadn’t forgotten to make a wish.

Edited by The_Dag on Aug 23rd 2019 at 5:55:28 PM

Granted. The wish you do make isn't good.

I wish I hadn't forgotten my headphones at home.

Edited by LordQuetzal88 on Aug 23rd 2019 at 4:00:00 AM

Granted, but you left them on the plane flying back home, and no one turned them in to the lost and found. And they were the really expensive Beats-brand headphones, too. Pity.

I wish there was only one universally agreed-upon translation of The Bible for every spoken and/or written language.

Granted. The English translation has such broken, Translation Train Wreck-style grammar that it's impossible to understand most of it. One of the more "coherent" verses, Genesis 1:1, reads "Game time started, big man made round thingses floaty thingses."

I wish for season 6 of The Flash to be good and for nothing bad to happen to Caitlin in it.

Granted. It only airs in the Comoros, though, so good luck getting a plane there.

I wish to be a world-renowned author.

Granted. Your name is spoken in hushed whispers as "the newest Gloria Tesch/Jim Theis/Nancy Stouffer".

I wish I could win a marathon.

Granted, here's your Marathon candy bar.

I wish this forum was as active as other forums I'm on.

"Granted, here's your Marathon candy bar."

Well, that was a lot less dark than what I was typing.

Granted, now none of the forums are active.

I wish that I could land a decent, high-paying job while pursuing my degree at the same time.

Edited by Stellarvore on Aug 23rd 2019 at 10:20:25 AM

Granted, you have no time for sleep

I wish I had a better love-life

Granted, you get married to a yandere.

I wish for a bourbon.

Granted. *hurls the bottle at your head*

I wish I had telekinetic powers.

Granted. They can barely crush a paper cup, though.

I wish for a paper cup.

Granted, it's crushed by someone with legit telekinetic powers.

I wish the U.S. government labeled anime as a mistake.

Granted. The U.S. government labels every form of entertainment media a mistake and shuts it down, leading the entire country to become a soulless land of no fun.

I wish I had a sharper intellect.

Granted. You grow isolated from 90% of the populace as you are now smarter than them. Soon you come across forbidden knowledge that drives you insane but doesn't effect anyone else.

I wish we lived in the RWBY universe....

Granted. Now we have Grimm to fend off. Did you check if we were all Hunters?

I wish for a magic eight-ball.

Darn, I thought that was actually gonna some sort of literal billiards ball that floats and does mayhem by flying into stuff.

Edited by nightelf37 on Aug 26th 2019 at 11:35:32 PM

It's literal magic, and the answers always bring disaster.

I wish I could write a good horror story, one that doesn't cause controversy or hurt anyone.

Granted. You're unable to get it published. After all, it can't cause controversy if no one knows about it.

I wish for world peace.

Granted. Now we're defenseless against any incoming extraterrestrials because we no longer have a reason to make weapons.

I wish there was a worse way to corrupt the above wish. How do you grant that wish without doing it straight?

Edited by nightelf37 on Aug 27th 2019 at 1:02:04 AM

Granted. I have already posted worse corruption of a similar wish in this thread, look for it yourself

I wish for a million dollars

Granted, but it's all Monopoly Money.

I wish I knew what worse wish TPAM (the person above me) was talking about.

Granted. You never get to use it It's to remove everyone's free will, thereby removing their ability to have war

I wish I could double jump