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Aug 22nd 2019 at 6:02:25 PM

Granted. Time traveling means that you're weaker than you are now. Have fun dying within the first minute!

I wish for beans.

ASusNunCompany Lord of the Cheese Whiz from A ditch near the Strip, Las Vegas, NV Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Lord of the Cheese Whiz
Aug 22nd 2019 at 9:55:31 PM

Granted, they are beans that come straight from Hell that eat YOU.

I wish for a portable toilet.

Everybody knows Heaven is a place on Earth, but so is Hell! It's true, look it up.
Awesomekid42 Relationship Status: Owner of a lonely heart
Aug 23rd 2019 at 8:49:04 AM

Granted. It smells awful, and doesn't flush.

I wish I had a working Nintendo Switch.

The_Dag My namesake. from bad to worse Relationship Status: LET'S HAVE A ZILLION BABIES
My namesake.
Aug 23rd 2019 at 9:55:10 AM

Granted, you donít have a charger or dock for it.

I wish I hadnít forgotten to make a wish.

Edited by The_Dag on Aug 23rd 2019 at 5:55:28 PM

Mankind is unlovable. No more kindness!
LordQuetzal88 Confuse. from the 5:30PM handbasket to Hell Relationship Status: Complex: I'm real, they are imaginary
Confuse.
Aug 23rd 2019 at 12:59:23 PM

Granted. The wish you do make isn't good.

I wish I hadn't forgotten my headphones at home.

Edited by LordQuetzal88 on Aug 23rd 2019 at 4:00:00 AM

Zimbabwe Eagle makes his enemies watch bad kid's shows.
WillyFourEyes Umbrella Corporation Mascot from NOT Japan Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Umbrella Corporation Mascot
Aug 23rd 2019 at 3:27:43 PM

Granted, but you left them on the plane flying back home, and no one turned them in to the lost and found. And they were the really expensive Beats-brand headphones, too. Pity.

I wish there was only one universally agreed-upon translation of The Bible for every spoken and/or written language.

Spottedleaf Caitlin Snow (Leopard) from S.T.A.R. Labs Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
Caitlin Snow (Leopard)
Aug 23rd 2019 at 3:46:12 PM

Granted. The English translation has such broken, Translation Train Wreck-style grammar that it's impossible to understand most of it. One of the more "coherent" verses, Genesis 1:1, reads "Game time started, big man made round thingses floaty thingses."

I wish for season 6 of The Flash to be good and for nothing bad to happen to Caitlin in it.

Willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause
NineTailedCat Eee! from bad to worse Relationship Status: She's holding a very large knife
Eee!
Aug 23rd 2019 at 4:59:30 PM

Granted. It only airs in the Comoros, though, so good luck getting a plane there.

I wish to be a world-renowned author.

I like cute things. You gotta deal with it. (Thanks to Zanreo for sharing this lovely Eeveetar!)
WillyFourEyes Umbrella Corporation Mascot from NOT Japan Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Umbrella Corporation Mascot
Aug 23rd 2019 at 5:19:00 PM

Granted. Your name is spoken in hushed whispers as "the newest Gloria Tesch/Jim Theis/Nancy Stouffer".

I wish I could win a marathon.

atimnie The Video Guy from Chicago Relationship Status: Can't buy me love
The Video Guy
Aug 23rd 2019 at 8:12:13 PM

Granted, here's your Marathon candy bar.

I wish this forum was as active as other forums I'm on.

Who are the ones that we kept in charge? Killers, thieves, and lawyers. God's away, god's away, god's away on business... business.
Stellarvore Miss me? Relationship Status: Don't hug me; I'm scared
Miss me?
Aug 23rd 2019 at 8:14:58 PM

"Granted, here's your Marathon candy bar."

Well, that was a lot less dark than what I was typing.

Granted, now none of the forums are active.

I wish that I could land a decent, high-paying job while pursuing my degree at the same time.

Edited by Stellarvore on Aug 23rd 2019 at 10:20:25 AM

My writings
Yitsul Relationship Status: Desperate
Aug 24th 2019 at 9:31:22 AM

Granted, you have no time for sleep

I wish I had a better love-life

The_Dag My namesake. from bad to worse Relationship Status: LET'S HAVE A ZILLION BABIES
My namesake.
Aug 24th 2019 at 9:36:18 AM

Granted, you get married to a yandere.

I wish for a bourbon.

Mankind is unlovable. No more kindness!
NineTailedCat Eee! from bad to worse Relationship Status: She's holding a very large knife
Eee!
Aug 24th 2019 at 2:08:38 PM

Granted. *hurls the bottle at your head*

I wish I had telekinetic powers.

I like cute things. You gotta deal with it. (Thanks to Zanreo for sharing this lovely Eeveetar!)
Aug 24th 2019 at 5:19:30 PM

Granted. They can barely crush a paper cup, though.

I wish for a paper cup.

VXXXN 2d ζ from the philippines Relationship Status: Longing for my OTP
Aug 24th 2019 at 5:34:33 PM

Granted, it's crushed by someone with legit telekinetic powers.

I wish the U.S. government labeled anime as a mistake.

zeta week #2: there is apparently a 2d zeta, also i ship her with samira
NineTailedCat Eee! from bad to worse Relationship Status: She's holding a very large knife
Eee!
Aug 24th 2019 at 5:48:37 PM

Granted. The U.S. government labels every form of entertainment media a mistake and shuts it down, leading the entire country to become a soulless land of no fun.

I wish I had a sharper intellect.

I like cute things. You gotta deal with it. (Thanks to Zanreo for sharing this lovely Eeveetar!)
TairaMai rollin' on dubs from El Paso Tx Relationship Status: What is this thing you call love?
rollin' on dubs
Aug 25th 2019 at 11:48:59 AM

[up] Granted. You grow isolated from 90% of the populace as you are now smarter than them. Soon you come across forbidden knowledge that drives you insane but doesn't effect anyone else.

I wish we lived in the RWBY universe....

abloogy woogy woo
nightelf37 The Keyblade, Mermaid, and Pony Seeker from Hadithi (it's Swahili for 'story') Relationship Status: Brony
The Keyblade, Mermaid, and Pony Seeker
Aug 26th 2019 at 6:24:45 AM

Granted. Now we have Grimm to fend off. Did you check if we were all Hunters?

I wish for a magic eight-ball.

[down]Darn, I thought that was actually gonna some sort of literal billiards ball that floats and does mayhem by flying into stuff.

Edited by nightelf37 on Aug 26th 2019 at 11:35:32 PM

If you can't get around it, go through it fast. Personas and Nanos, make 'em here.
DelphineTheDelphox When the weak court death, they find it. from The Alola Region Relationship Status: Squeeeeeeeeeeeee!
When the weak court death, they find it.
Aug 26th 2019 at 6:27:29 AM

It's literal magic, and the answers always bring disaster.

I wish I could write a good horror story, one that doesn't cause controversy or hurt anyone.

Abandon all delusions of control.
NineTailedCat Eee! from bad to worse Relationship Status: She's holding a very large knife
Eee!
Aug 26th 2019 at 9:45:53 AM

Granted. You're unable to get it published. After all, it can't cause controversy if no one knows about it.

I wish for world peace.

I like cute things. You gotta deal with it. (Thanks to Zanreo for sharing this lovely Eeveetar!)
nightelf37 The Keyblade, Mermaid, and Pony Seeker from Hadithi (it's Swahili for 'story') Relationship Status: Brony
The Keyblade, Mermaid, and Pony Seeker
Aug 26th 2019 at 10:00:31 AM

Granted. Now we're defenseless against any incoming extraterrestrials because we no longer have a reason to make weapons.

I wish there was a worse way to corrupt the above wish. How do you grant that wish without doing it straight?

Edited by nightelf37 on Aug 27th 2019 at 1:02:04 AM

If you can't get around it, go through it fast. Personas and Nanos, make 'em here.
johannes4123 That pun was FIRE from The southern parts of Norway Relationship Status: In denial
That pun was FIRE
Aug 26th 2019 at 10:17:16 AM

Granted. I have already posted worse corruption of a similar wish in this thread, look for it yourself

I wish for a million dollars

I am finally back to explaining how much I happen not to be a pyromaniac
nightelf37 The Keyblade, Mermaid, and Pony Seeker from Hadithi (it's Swahili for 'story') Relationship Status: Brony
The Keyblade, Mermaid, and Pony Seeker
Aug 26th 2019 at 11:27:03 AM

Granted, but it's all Monopoly Money.

I wish I knew what worse wish TPAM (the person above me) was talking about.

If you can't get around it, go through it fast. Personas and Nanos, make 'em here.
johannes4123 That pun was FIRE from The southern parts of Norway Relationship Status: In denial
That pun was FIRE
Aug 26th 2019 at 11:41:18 AM

Granted. You never get to use it It's to remove everyone's free will, thereby removing their ability to have war

I wish I could double jump

I am finally back to explaining how much I happen not to be a pyromaniac

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