Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. You don't ever get sleepy again

I wish for ten kilograms of pure gold

Granted, you get it in the form of a free delivery package that lands directly on top of your skull.

I wish Alivia actually played this game properly.

Granted, she knows how but never does it.

I wish I took less time to post again here.

Granted. I make wishes based off the infamous "pecan pie" wish.

Granted. You make terrible low-effort posts instead.

I wish for pipe acne.

Edited by Playing_with_boy on Apr 24th 2019 at 8:54:09 AM

Granted, but every time you try to type "no" on your phone it changes to "pipe acne".

I wish for a blue shell from Mario Kart.

Granted, it thinks you're in first.

I wish I could think of better wishes.

Granted. However, you're completely incapable of expressing those creative wishes.

I wish the weather was more consistent in my area.

Granted, but the wind is blowing harder than before.

I wish I was older.

Granted. You are older by exactly one second.

I wish people would just stop ripping on Kasumi's thief outfit.

Granted. They stop ripping on her outfit and just make personal attacks.

I wish my computer wasn't so goddamn slow.

Granted. Everything it does goes so quickly that it launches you into Sensory Overload because you can't process what's going on.

I wish for my social signals to never go misread ever again.

Granted, you're now a complete asshole who always gets avoided at every possible instance because no one ever mistakes your behaviour for joking.

I wish my fingers didn't implode whenever I try to play a single octave.

this isn't "You have become your avatar"

Edited by unfortunatezorua on Apr 25th 2019 at 11:08:30 PM

Granted. Now they explode

I wish for a safe and functional time-machine

Granted, you have no idea what time period to go to with it.

I wish I was the Living Sign.

Granted, you are now a wet floor sign. You cannot move but you are fully aware of what's going on.

I wish a certain someone wouldn't be able to wish for pie.

Granted, they kill you in revenge for denying their wish.

I wish Sayori was real and united Ireland.

Edited by The_Dag on May 2nd 2019 at 12:14:18 PM

Granted. Sayori is actually uniting India.

I wish I was an Umi Sonoda-Riko Sakurauchi-Setsuna Yuuki combination

Edited by AutisticAlivia on May 3rd 2019 at 12:23:48 PM

Granted, but Ban G Dream is considered better by everyone shortly afterward.

I wish for tournaments comprised of game compilations similar to this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=A2GRQmMuOAw

Granted. Everyone who enters fails miserably

I wish I wasn't sick

Granted, you are dead.

I wish I was a Space Marine.

Granted. You're a Chaos Space Marine. And you're not a Token Good Teammate. Have fun.

I wish Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain came out actually complete.

Edited by hanwen1234 on May 4th 2019 at 11:59:52 PM

Granted. There are many game-breaking bugs that the devs insist are "features".

I wish for more people to appreciate my favorite characters.

Granted, they all love your favorite characters... but they hate you.

I wish I had the personality and drive to run for congress.

Granted. You still don't have the money

I wish I knew how to handle cats

Granted, but the cats end up taking too much of a liking to you and you end up becoming a Crazy Cat Guy, spending the rest of your life on cleaning poo off the litterbox.

I wish for a wish.